AN: I know this is an odd pairing but I find myself drawn to it like a moth to a fly.
McKort Rules! (That is the correct name for this pairing, isn't it?)
By the way, if there are any Abby lovers out there you may not like this story- just warning you now. I find her to be immature and far too petty and childlike for her age- she's pushing forty and still dresses and acts like a teenager! Come on!
Sorry about that, I tend to rant if I feel strongly about something. Now on with the story!
Disclaimer: I own nothing recognizable here, though the plot is entirely from the depths of my twisted imagination: The song Party in the CIA belongs to Weird Al Yankovik, and NCIS belongs to whoever it belongs to; all I know is that it isn't me.
It had been a long and grueling week for the NCIS's top team, and made all the harder for having to work so close with the FBI for the past several days. But now the weekend was here and everyone could relax, or relax as much as they possibly could while trying to ignore a certain loud mouth in the bullpen.
"TGIF! The weekend is here and the case is solved, we can finally kick the FBI out of our house and out of our lives!" Tony DiNozzo crowed out to no-one in particular as he leaned back in his chair, nearly tipping it over.
"Come on, DiNozzo, you know we only show up to bask in your glowing personality." Agent Tobias Fornell chirped from his place leaning against Gibbs' desk, he was the last FBI Agent left in the NCIS building and had stayed behind to spend some time with his friend.
"Hey, McGeek! Got any plans for this evening? Or are you going to stay quietly at home and defend your tittle as Elf Lord of the Year?" DiNozzo questioned while trying to direct attention away from himself as he never liked being teased- though he loved doing the teasing himself.
Giving a long-suffering sigh, Timothy McGee looked up from where he was doing actual work on his computer and over to his loafing partner.
"That isn't a real thing, Tony, and for your information I do already have plans. So whatever scheme you are trying to embroil me into you'll just have to foist it off onto somebody else." His piece said he then turned to resume his work, or at least tried to.
"Plans, eh? A date perhaps? Did McLonesome finally nab himself a girl?" Tony leered.
"To be precise I'm taking my fiancée out to dinner." McGee clarified while biting the inside of his cheek. This wasn't how he had planned to tell everyone about his future plans, or about him being in a serious relationship, but then he had been looking for the best moment for weeks now; so what the hell.
"F-fiancee? When did this happen?!" Tony nearly fell off his chair in surprise at this bit of news- When the hell had his Probie found the time to meet anyone, let alone get serious with them?
"A few weeks now." McGee supplied while shutting his computer down in preparation of fleeing. He really didn't want to answer any questions right at that moment, especially as he wasn't sure how his team would handle the revelation of just who his fiancée actually was.
"Why didn't you tell me? I'm your partner! We're supposed to know everything about one-another." The Senior Field Agent asked in a marvelous display of obliviousness.
Barely suppressing the urge to roll his eyes until they fell out, McGee finished shutting his computer down and answered his partner.
"Tony... I didn't tell you because I didn't want to hear you comparing my love life to one of your movies, or trying to drive a wedge between my soon to be spouse and me before we had even set a date. And, finally, I didn't tell you because you have absolutely no ability to keep personal details a secret and I didn't want the news spread across the bullpen before I was ready to make an announcement." Tony just stares at his Probie in slack-jawed shock at that announcement.
How could anyone think he was anything less than the very definition of discretion?!
"He's got you there, Tony." Okay, so Gibbs agreed with that assessment- but that still didn't make it true! Did it?
"Congratulations, McGee. When do we get to meet the lucky lady?" Gibbs asked his youngest Agent while ignoring the flummoxed and unbelieving look on his Senior Agent's face.
"Soon, maybe... I hope. I just hope you all like... her." McGee hedged while blushing, he hated lying to Gibbs- it was, after all, his first rule to not do so- but thought it the better part of discretion to simply let the matter rest for now.
One big revelation about his personal life was quite enough for one day, thank you very much!
"If she is good enough for you then our opinions do not matter. Isn't that right, Tony?" Ziva said, speaking up for the first time since the conversation had started.
"Yeah, that's right. Congrats, Probie." Tony mumbled while still feeling the shock of having been told off, as well as learning something new about his McGeek.
"Yeah, kid, congratulations. But remember: if you ever need a good divorce lawyer call me. I know a few of the best." Fornell said jokingly while giving McGee a serious look.
"T-thanks. I've got to go, have to get ready for tonight." And with that Tim grabbed his bag and near ran for the elevator. He was just too glad to have not been questioned further, he wanted to talk things over with his fiancée before he told his team the whole truth.
He definitely wanted Trent to be prepared for the threats, knives and possibly the sniper's bullets that would most likely fly his way once Tony, Ziva and especially Gibbs learned that he was the one McGee was planning to marry.
"Wow. Tiny Tim is getting married. Who'da thunk it?" Tony stated once he had finally pulled himself out of his stunned funk.
"Just goes to show that there is someone for everyone. Who knows? Maybe one day even you, Tony, might find someone gullible enough to fall for you Prince Charming act." Ziva teased.
"Ha. Ha. Very funny. Anyways, as I was about to ask before the McBombshell landed on us: There is a new karaoke bar and restaurant in town, any takers? I'll even extend an invite to non-NCIS persons for the the sake of inter-agency relations." Beaming at everyone lingering in the bullpen- Probie was he only one who ever finished his work on time- he was disappointed at the utter lack of enthusiasm displayed at his idea.
Well, everyone but one was indifferent to his statement.
"That's very thoughtful of you, Dinozzo, inviting me along on a drinking expedition. Be careful or you'll lose your image as a man who never uses his brains." Ziva joined Fornell in laughing while Tony tried to glare at both of them at the same time.
"You in or not?" He finally growled out when he realized that his glare wasn't doing the trick.
"I'll only go if Gibbs does, I don't want to be the only old man there complaining about the music." Fornell smirked as he turned to face his old friend.
"Who you calling 'old man'?" Gibbs asked without looking up from his paperwork.
"Us. I think we qualify." Fornell quipped and they shared a small chuckle.
"So, Boss, you in?" Tony enquired eagerly, greatly hoping his boss would join him in a rare fit of socialization.
"Sure, why not? It'll be something different at least." Gibbs didn't have to look up to know that Tony was grinning like a fool at that moment.
"Ziva?" Tony asked, elated that he was going to get his Boss away from his basement for a night and wanting to share the joy with as many as possible.
"I'm game." The dark-haired woman chirped.
"That makes four... Abby is sure to jump at the chance to go so, that's five..." Tony listed off as he tried to think of anyone else that might be willing to come along.
"Hey, the kid can count!" Fornell joked, making everyone but his target laugh.
"Ha! Keep it up and my first song will be a power ballad." Tony threatened. He was really bad at crooning.
"Oooo, scary!" Feigning fear, Tobias moved off the desk he was sitting on and prepared to leave- if they were going to go he'd just as soon just go, it really had been a long week.
Ignoring the older man completely, Tony continued with his musings.
"I wonder if the Duckman would be interested in going? Maybe the Gremlin too?" Picking up his phone to call autopsy he was stopped by a smooth voice across from him.
"I'll call down to autopsy and ask while you talk to Abby." Ziva smirked at her partners pout as she began dialing the proper extension.
"Sure, let me be the one deafened by her squeals." Tony groaned as he prepared himself for the joyous calls of the loudest Lab Rat to ever work for NCIS.
NCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCIS
"This was such a cool idea! I don't know why we haven't done this before!" Abby squealed as she looked around the dim room and the bright stage that a group of idiots was butchering In the Navy by the Village People on.
"Calm yourself, my dear, there is no need to get too excited. Karaoke bars have been around in one form or another since even I was a wee lad, so there is no need to treat this as a one time event." Ducky's attempt to calm the over-caffeinated and over-excited Lab Tech was met by a toss of pigtails and a bright smile.
"Your of course right, Ducky, but I can't help but be excited! I mean, we have Gibbs- the one and only Leroy Jethro Gibbs- at a karaoke bar! This is a once in a life time event!" Everyone around the table rolled their eyes at the bubbly woman's antics.
"It is at that, my dear." The old Brit chuckled as he patted her hand.
Just then Tony returned to the table and handed them their call numbers.
"I've talked to the DJ and have gotten us slots number thirty-three thru forty, so we should have plenty of time to chose what we would each like to belt out." Everyone looked up at the number counter and agreed that they would have plenty of time- it was currently reading 'Now Serving #10'.
"I wanna go first! I already know what I wanna sing!" Abby called out before anyone else could say a word.
"That's fine, Abs, but just so you know they don't seem to have any Goth music on file. I already checked." Taking a step back- everyone knew not to mess with the Goth's music unless you were wearing body armor- Tony prepared himself for a tantrum.
"Ahh." Was the only thing Abby said, much to everyone's relief.
NCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCIS
"So, Ziva, decided what you're going to sing yet?" Tony asked while taking a bite of his nachos.
"Indeed I have, Tony." Ziva answered while quietly praying her team-mate would learn basic manners and chew with his mouth shut, or at least not talk with his mouth full.
"So, what is it?" Tony inquired curiously.
Leaning across the table, Ziva pinned the Senior Agent with a stare and a smile.
"It's a secret and you'll just have to wait like everyone else." She purred as everyone else either laughed at or ignored them.
"Ahh, come on! Your not being any fun! First McDate ditches us for his fiancée and now your withholding vital information. Can this night get anymore disappointing?" Tony complained without thinking, though he realized his mistake quickly enough.
"Wait. Did you just say that McGee- my innocent little Timmy- has a fiancée?" Abby asked in shock. It just couldn't be, she internally wailed, McGee was her back-up plan, he couldn't just abandon her like this!
"This proves McGee's point, Tony, you really do have a bubble mouth." Ziva pointed out helpfully, and hoped she could derail Abby's fit before it got started by changing the subject. Really, it was pathetic the way Abby kept trying to keep Tim on a leash!
"It's 'blabber mouth', Ziver. And I do not!" Tony snarled.
"You so do, Tony. Why do you think you think I never share gossip with you? But that's beside the point!" Ziva inwardly groaned as Abby worked herself into a fit, at least she could say she tried.
"Now spill! I want all the details: names, dates, locations. Why haven't I heard about this before and how long has this been going on?" Abby would be damned if she gave up her back-up man without a fight!
"Uhhh... We don't know her name, when they met or where. Apparently McGee's been waiting for the right time to tell us about her and he said they got engaged a few weeks ago." Hoping the interrogation was over, and knowing that it wasn't, Tony waited.
"You mean you don't know anything about this woman?!" How could she compete with someone she knew nothing about!
"What if she's another assassin? Or a gold digging hussy? Timmy could he in danger RIGHT NOW for all we know! I'm calling him and finding out where he is right this minute!" Abby cried as she pulled out her phone, hoping no-one realized her real reason for calling(ie: proving to herself that Tim would still drop everything just for her, no matter what he was doing or who he was with)
"Abigail, please calm yourself. I give you my word that young Timothy is in no danger from his fiancée." Ducky said after placing his hand over Abby's phone screen. He would not let the possessive and immature Goth woman try to destroy Tim's hard-won happiness.
"You knew about this, Duck?" Gibbs asked, he knew the ME well enough to be sure he would not say such things without being positively certain.
"Oh, yes. Timothy asked my advise about a year or so ago when they first started dating seriously, he wanted my opinion as to whether or not he should even try for a serious relationship considering his considerable ill luck in that department. And I will tell you all what I told him after having observed them together: they are a perfect match for each other, and I couldn't be happier that they have found one-another." Finishing off his little speech with a light glare at all assembled, Ducky let his gaze come to rest on a visibly pouting Lab Tech.
"They are really that great together, Ducky?" Ziva asked, truly curious as to whether her friend had finally found his perfect match or not.
"Yes, my dear, they are. And I hope that you will all follow in my footsteps and support them in their new life together." The old Brit said with a gentle smile towards the only calm woman at the table. Turning his gaze back to the unsettled one he leveled his grandfatherly glare at her until she cracked.
"Okay, Duckman, I guess if you approve of her she can't be all bad." Abby sighed as she mentally made plans to find out as much dirt as she could about this other woman and present it to her Timmy with a smile.
"What Abby says is valid: you are a good judge of character and I will follow your lead unless events tell me to do otherwise." Ziva said, hoping that the Goth would take her example to heart and not do anything foolish.
"Yeah, what she said." Sighed Tony, completely oblivious as always to what was actually taking place right under his nose- namely one Lab Rat being a possessive brat like she always was.
"Okay, Duck, but I reserve the right to make my own judgments later on." Gibbs agreed readily, glad as always to follow his old friend's lead.
"I don't know if my support will be wanted or desired, but I'll give it none-the-less; if only so I can have the chance to meet this mystery woman one day." Fornell said while holding his glass up in mock salute to the promise, everyone else following suite- however reluctantly on Abby's part- in quick succession.
"And what about you, Gremlin?" Tony asked as he realized that the assistant ME hadn't made any promises concerning McGee or his fiancée.
"Oh. Me? Well, Tim already knows I'm okay with it. Brianna and I have double-dated with them a few times over the last few months and we were even there the night of the proposal. It was very romantic." Palmer stated with ease, not realizing until it was too late that he would now be the center of all attention at the table- or at least or all those who did not know that Trent Kort was Tim's lover and now fiancée.
"You've met her?" That was Ziva, as much as she was happy to believe the good doctor she would be happy to have a second opinion concerning McGee's mystery fiancée.
"What's she like?" That was Abby, already making plans to pump the autopsy Gremlin for information.
"Is she hot?" And that was Tony, showing just where his mind went whenever he wasn't concentrating on a task.
"Ahh..." Palmer hesitated, he really didn't want to say anything before Tim said it was okay to do so. Besides, Kort was just as scary- it not more so in some situations- as Gibbs and Jimmy Palmer really, REALLY, didn't want to upset the man.
"You don't have to say anything, Mr. Palmer, I'm sure our three curious co-workers will soon realize that they will just have to wait for formal introductions if they want answers to their questions." Ducky quickly rescued his young assistant and stared down the three excited young people once more.
"Fine! I'll wait." Abby said, not even bothering to disguise her disgruntlement.
"What she said." Tony said disinterestedly, having decided to simply grill his Probie about the girl's looks when he saw the younger Agent again.
"I would not be pleased if someone attempted to pry into my personal affairs, so I will respect McGee's privacy." Ziva agreed readily with Ducky and was quite willing to wait until Tim was ready to talk to them about his Lady-love to learn more.
"Thank you, Dr. Mallard." Palmer whispered once all the attention was off of him.
"Not a problem, my dear boy, the over-eagerness of youth is to be expected." Ducky replied, patting the younger man on the arm paternally.
A sudden choking sound drew everyone's wandering attention to the spluttering FBI agent in their midst.
"Hey! Isn't that the kid now?" Fornell finally choked out as he pointed at the stage.
Every eye turned towards the mostly forgotten stage just as some upbeat music started.
Indeed it was McGee- and he was singing!
"I moved out to Langley recently,
With a plain and simple dream:
Want to infiltrate some third world place,
And topple their regime."
"Isn't he supposed to be on a date right now?" Tony asked no-one in particular.
"Who's to say that he isn't." Ziva replied as she tried to concentrate on the lyrics her co-worker was belting out.
"So that means she's here, right? Tony we can meet her tonight!" Abby called out gleefully, ready to start her 'get McGee back' plan right away.
"So I get my handcuffs,
My cyanide pills,
My classified dossier.
Tapping the phones like yeah.
Shredding the files like yeah.
I memorized all the enemy spies I gotta neutralize today.
Yeah! It's a party in the CIA!
Yeah! It's a party in the CIA!"
"I never knew he had such a good voice, though I am a little disappointed in his choice of song. Singing about the CIA? Why not sing about NCIS?" Ziva wondered out loud, truly confused. If there were songs about the CIA then surely there must be ones about the other Agency's too.
"Because Weird Al hasn't written a song about NCIS, Ziva; though he really should. But I totally agree with you: McGee is rocking that mic!" Abby would honestly admit that McGee had a great singing voice, it was one if the reasons she kept him on her back burner.
"What kind of name is 'Weird Al'?" Tony asked, having lost all interest in the song once he realized that he might be able to spot McGee's fiancée in the crowded room. So far he hadn't had any luck deciding which woman was more McGee's type.
"A weird one. Now shut up and listen to the man sing." Gibbs ordered, because if he didn't then there was no telling how much longer the conversation would go on.
"Better put your hands up and get in the van,
Or else you'll get blown away. (Blown away!)
Staging a coup like yeah.
Brainwashing moles like yeah.
We only torture the folks we don't like,
You're probably gonna be OK. (You're gonna be OK!)
Yeah! It's a party in the CIA!
Yeah! It's a party in the CIA!"
Song over Tim smiled at the random applause and headed off stage to make way for the next patron, and it didn't take long before he had a following.
"Quick! The song's over. Let's follow him!" Abby cried out to Tony as she started racing through the full room.
Everyone left at the table shook their heads at the antics of the immature pair until Ducky spoke up.
"Oh, dear. I don't think this will end well." That got everyone's attention, but it was Gibbs who finally asked.
"Ducky? Is there something you're not telling us? Like maybe what is wrong with this girl that has you so nervous about us meeting and accepting her?" There was a subtle shifting of seats as everyone left leaned forward to hear his answer more clearly.
Sighing in resignation he decided that it would be best to speak up now before an overly excited Abigail or belligerent Anthony made their way back over and caused a scene.
"Jethro... no-one ever said that Timothy's fiancée was a woman, did they?" It took a few seconds before the implications of that sentence sank in, and then it was met only wide-eyed silence until Ziva spoke up.
"But I thought those were just rumors that Tony put out to prevent Tim from beating on the women from the legal department."
"It's 'hitting on', Ziva, and those rumors really were false and I made Tony explain everything to those women and give McGee a full apology." Gibbs corrected his Agent while still trying to processes what he had just learned. McGee was going to marry another man? It was more than a little surprising to say the least.
"Well, it looks like those rumors weren't too far off the mark." Fornell stated, trying to break the silent tension that had settled around the table as everyone tried to process this latest piece of information.
Things were just beginning to calm when a pale and shaken Abby, followed by a stony and silent DiNozzo, returned to the table.
"Well?" Gibbs asked when neither person made any attempt to speak.
"We followed him back to his table... met his fiancée." Tony said through gritted teeth.
"He's-he's-he's engaged to... to... to a guy. How? I thought I knew him?" Abby wailed, truly dismayed to think- and completely believing that it was true- that she had driven Tim into the arms of a man when he couldn't have her.
"So. What's the mystery man like?" Fornell asked, not liking either of their reactions. It was the twenty-first century! Homophobia didn't have any business rearing its ugly head.
"You can see for yourself, their on their way over here now." Tony half snarled, making Gibbs wish he was sitting closer to his Senior Agent so that he could head slap him for having such a negative attitude towards his partner and his partner's choice in lover.
"They're going to head home. Damn it! How did I not know Timmy was living with someone?!" Abby wailed, now caught up in the fact that she hadn't had quite the strangle hold on Tim's life that she thought she did.
Just then McGee walked up to their table and both Gibbs and Tobias realized that Tony's reaction was not based on prejudice at all but on an understandable and deep-seated hatred for the man by McGee's side.
"Hey, guys, we weren't expecting to see you all hear." McGee said nervously, hoping that this wouldn't turn out as badly as he imagined it might.
Of course having all eyes focused solely on the man next to him- with the exception of Ducky and Palmer, of course, they were giving Tim silent looks of support- was not helping him look at the positive side of all this.
"You all know Trent, right?" It was a stupid thing to say, he knew- Of course they all knew him!- but he was just too nervous to think of anything clever.
A moment later Tim felt like kissing Ziva as she effortlessly cut through the mounting tension and started the ball rolling on everyone- maybe- coming to accept his choice of partner.
"Ha! I get it now. Nice choice of song earlier, though I do hope to not have to sit through it at your wedding. I will be invited, yes?"
"Of course you're invited, Ziva, everyone who wishes to attend will be." McGee gushed, relieved that at least one of his co-workers was happy for him and not actively seeking to murder his fiancée with their eyes.
"McGee, with me!" Gibbs ordered, barely stopping his death glare at the CIA operative even as he walked out of ear-shot of the table.
Quickly squeezing Kort's hand for strength, Tim followed his Boss.
"Tim..." Gibbs began, only to be interrupted.
"Boss, before you say anything let me just say that I'm serious about this relationship, and I know that Trent is too. I am not giving him up for anything or anyone, and that includes you, so if you can't respect that then tell me now and I'll hand in my resignation on Monday." McGee said all this in a rush so as not to lose his nerve under the infamous Gibbs stare.
It took the older man a moment to rationalize just what he had heard, and another to let it sink in, but once it did he realized that he only had two real choices here: He could either accept- grudgingly- that his youngest Agent was able to make his own decisions, or not and lose him.
The choice was an easy one to make really.
"Okay, then." Tim was taken aback by that, more so than if he had been subjected to a rant on the subject.
"Okay?" He asked. Perhaps he had heard wrong?
"Yeah, Tim: Okay. I can respect your wishes, but I want your promise that you will come straight to me, day or night, if he every hurts you in any way. Alright?" This was one point that he wouldn't budge on. No-one hurt one of his and got away with it, no-one!
"He won't, but I promise." McGee agreed, absolutely certain that Gibbs' legendary over-protectiveness would never have to rear its head where Trent and he were concerned.
"Good. Now let's get back before Abby pulls out of her shock and starts asking inappropriate questions." Tim gave a mental shudder to think of all the prying he would have to suffer through once Abby got started.
As they reached the table they noticed that Tony was glaring more hatefully than before, Abby had turned a deep red color and everyone else seemed on the verge of hysterical laughter.
"What happened?" Gibbs asked as McGee went to stand once more with his man.
"You're boy here wanted to know just what made me think I was man enough that I could marry his 'Probie'" Kort answered with a smirk that made Tony tense even more.
"And?" Gibbs pressed, not yet seeing the problem.
"He said 'About twelve inches'." Ziva stated as she finally lost her battle with her laughter.
McGee turned red at this and refused to met anyone's eyes, so he missed the moment when Gibbs and Kort locked stares.
If you ever hurt him I will make you suffer. Gibbs' eyes said and Kort nodded his understanding.
"Well, see you all Monday." McGee said quickly once he had found his voice once more and all but dragged Kort out with him.
"Abs? You okay?" Gibbs asked of the unusually silent Goth.
"I guess... it's just... They've dated for two tears now and I never knew!" Abby cried, mourning the loss of her back-up plan- she had no doubt that Kort would snap her in two if she tried to break him and Tim up and so had had to drop that plan- and was depressed at the idea of finding another gullible soul that would bend to her every whim.
"Hey now, none of us knew." Gibbs tried to reassure her, though he wouldn't have attempted if he knew the real reason that she was upset.
"Yeah. But now I have so many questions!" Abby wailed.
"Like: Why Kort of all people?" Tony asked, he was still seething over this himself: Of all the men in all the world, why did it have to be Kort?!
"No! Like: How can I get on stage now?! I'm too emotional and will make a total hash of it!" Abby cried out and no-one had an answer for her as they were too shocked by her answer to respond.
Was that really all that she cared about at this point? They wondered.
NCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCIS
Two men, holding hands and walking down the sidewalk might have drawn attention a decade or two before but now was a common sight, and our two love-birds took full advantage of this as they made their way to McGee's car.
"That went better than I expected."
"I guess, no-one died at least."
"Yeah. Though I thought DiNozzo would have a coronary for a moment there."
"Hmm."
As they reached the car Kort spun them around to lean against it, pressing himself against his adorable fiancée in full view of everyone and anyone who cared to look; not caring in the least if he made a scene or not.
Pressing their lips together in a feather light kiss he pulled back- with the car keys in hand.
"My turn to drive this beauty, remember?" McGee smirked, which totally ruined the stern look he was going after.
"Tease." He said as he crawled into the passenger side.
Taking off down the road each occupant was caught up in their own thoughts, though they would be surprised to know that they were thinking almost the exact same thought.
That thought was: How did I get this lucky?
)
AN.2: Hey! Just wondering if anyone actually likes this story. If you do please don't be afraid to drop a review, even a single word or a smiley face will just make my day.
And I totally suggest everyone go and listen to Party in the CIA by Weird Al, it is an awesome song!
Well, thanks for reading this far and I hope you enjoyed my foray into McKort!