I am doing this in response to konarciq's Short-Story Speedwriting Challenge…I don't own any of the familiar HH characters…enjoy!
Battalions and Hand Grenades
"Try this, Newkirk." Corporal LeBeau said while extending a bowl filed with one of his new concoctions.
"Blamey, what is that?" The Englander nearly shouted looking at the atrocity before him.
"It's my own invention, I am going to call it GROPE." The short Frenchman stated proudly.
"What in it?" Newkirk asked trying to mask his disgust
"The base is gruel, I added diced radishes, some oregano, and pepper, along with an egg." LeBeau stated a grin plastered on his face.
"Mmm." Newkirk said to mask a gag as he swallowed the nasty concoction his fellow corporal had just given him. Then all of the sudden Kinch, Carter, and Colonel Hogan came bolting out of the bunk that hid their tunnel. Saved! Newkirk thought
"Guess what Newkirk," Carter spluttered before Colonel Hogan could say anything
"What is it this time, Andrew?"
"The Saint Louis Cardinals beat the Saint Louis Browns in the World Series!" The American Sargent excitedly announced
"Who beat who in the what?" the befuddled Englishman asked
"I thought by now, that you'd know enough about baseball to know what the World Series was, especially since it's a recognition question." Carter responded to the Britt's question
"Carter, we have more pressing matters than the World Series at the moment," Colonel Hogan interjected
"Sorry Colonel." Carter responded
"Ok, London just sent us a communication." Hogan paused glancing around making sure his entire audience was listening, satisfied, he continued. "There is a panzer battalion set to go through a pass about three kilometers North East of here in two days at 1900 hours. London wants us to knock it out." Hogan concluded.
"Hey, Colonel how are we gonna do that?" Carter asked
"That my friend is where you come in!" Hogan grinned pointing at Carter
"Great! How are we going to do it boy...I mean sir?" Carter responded enthusiastically
"Hand grenades." The colonel stated
"How?" The dumbstruck LeBeau asked
"Well this is how were going to do it…"
"What?" LeBeau screeched
"I know it sounds like a long shot, but it's crazy enough to work," the Colonel encouraged his men
"Ok, I can see were Kinch would come into play, but why me?" Carter asked
"For several reasons; first, you need to make the hand grenades. Second, you have a pretty good arm to lob the grenades. Lastly, is because I said so." The colonel told the Sargent.
"So, do you want me to go round up the others?" Carter asked
"Yeah, you know who to get right?" Kinch asked to be sure his fellow Sargent had remembered the men whom the colonel had just moments earlier told them who he thought had a good enough arm to pull the job off.
"Yup!" Carter responded
"Are you sure?" Kinch asked just to be sure
"I'm positive; I'll even tell you so your mind can be at ease: Corporal Mathews, Private Allan, Sargent Dogface, Taco…I mean Private Bell, and Private Rose." Carter said smiling proud that he had remembered all of them.
"You forgot Corporal Macintosh." Newkirk added from the other part of the Barracks.
"I did? I don't remember hearing anything about him being involved, besides didn't he hurt his arm yesterday in the volleyball match?" Carter said looking at Newkirk suspiciously
"Your right, 'e did dint 'e?" Newkirk mocked
"Carter, your right; Newkirk this is no time for fun and games, Carter, go bring Mathews, Allan, Dogface, Bell, and Rose to our barracks ASAP." Kinch said scolding the Britt while instructing his fellow Sargent.
"Okay," Carter responded.
~So Carter left the barracks and started to look for the men~
"Taco, can you head over to barracks two, colonel would like to have a word with you." Carter yelled over to Private Bell when he spotted him across the compound.
"I'll be right over Carter." Bell shouted back
~moments later~
Carter walked up to barracks nine and spotted Corporal Mathews "Corporal Mathews," Carter said approaching the man
"That's me, what do you need?" the man responded
"Colonel Hogan wants to talk to you back in barracks two." Carter told the corporal
"I'll be there shortly." Mathews responded walking into his own barracks to put away the socks he was darning.
~Carter went on to find the rest of the guys he found Dogface playing basketball with Rose and he found Allan doing some wash. Once they were all in barracks two, Colonel Hogan briefed them and sent them back to their work.~
"Carter, do you have enough materials to make about one hundred or so granades?" Colonel Hogan asked Carter when the others had left.
"Twenty sure, but one hundred? No," Carter responded
"Ok, make a list of what you would need and give it to Kinch, so he can send it off to London, so they can make a drop tonight." The Colonel responded.
"Yes sir," Carter said while walking off to find a piece of paper and a pencil to make the list. When he found it, he began to write…
*N
Then he said "Colonel, why don't we either take some from the camp's armory or ask London for them?"
"Carter, you're a genius! Why did I not think of that before?" Hogan said excitedly "Newkirk, go check the Krout's armory and see if they have one hundred hand grenades." He ordered the Englishman as he entered the barracks
"Yes, Colonel I'll 'ed over and check out the 'and grenade situation." Newkirk said heading towards the tunnel entrance
~Preparations continued, the Krouts did have enough hand grenades, so Carter did not have to make them. Finally, the day had arrived~
"Ok, everyone know what to do?" Colonel Hogan asked the men while they changed into their black suits. A chorus of Yes, Sirs, rang out amongst the men "Good, lets head out then." They exited the tunnel through the tree trunk in the woods. They then reached the pass where London had told them the battalion was to pass through.
"I see the first one coming Colonel," Kinch said putting down his binoculars
"Ok, when you think you can hit one, throw the grenade." The Colonel whispered
~About ten minutes later the tanks were close enough, so they let the hand grenades fly~
*Kaboom*
"One down Colonel!" Dogface hooted
~They continued until all of the panzers were in flames~
"Hey Colonel, I think they all are down for the count!" Rose exclaimed satisfied at their job well done
"Hey Colonel some of the Krouts are climbing out and running for it." Kinch reported
"You want us to shoot 'em colonel?" Bell asked
"Let them go privet Bell." Colonel Hogan responded
"I think privet Rose was right; let's head for home men." Hogan stated proudly. Well as much of a home as it can be… Hogan thought
~The End~
Well until next time at least
A/N-The Saint Louis Cards did beat The Saint Louis Browns in the 1944 World Series.