I don't stand it… it hurts… pretty bad… I mean, why is she so… perfect! She gets and is everything that I wish I was! She has a boyfriend, she is politically correct, her attitude and personality can get her any boy she wants, yet she doesn't realize it. At times, I hate her. I hate her for being so flawless. She has no idea how my times I have cried, wishing that I were her. Wishing that for once, I could be as perfect as her. I look at her back, as she diligently takes notes. I sigh and close my book. I raise my hand, as Mr. Garrison asks the class a question; but her hand shoots up just a second before mine. Of course he asks her and of course she answers correctly. Red gives her a high-five and Stan smiles, proud of his girlfriend. The bell rings and students gather up their books and leave. I'm always the last one out of class. I may not seem like it, but behind my mask of girly attitude, hides a jealous, heartbroken, sad, alone girl just yearning to be recognized the way her best friend is recognized.

My many attempts of being recognized have failed miserably, when I tried to dress up as a slut, of course Wendy stopped it. When I switched around The List, of course Wendy stopped that too. My attempts had been feeble and generally sad. I WANT to be treated like her. I want to be able to make jokes and be just so… lovable and accepted! My attempts totally backfired on me and left me isolated. No one will come near me unless she's with me, and even then, they talk to her and ignore me.

I shut my locker door and, holding my books, head towards the front hallway towards the door. I hear her voice through a classroom door as I pass. Student council is in session. I have thought of suicide a time or two, but I know I could never do it. I step through the front door, the cold chill of Friday afternoon makes me shiver as I zip up my red jacket and step through the front of the school. I look both ways as I cross the deserted street.

My thoughts keep being recycled and What if's and I Wish keep coming back to me like a never-ending ferris wheel. I stuff my hands in my pockets and walk down the sidewalk. Kyle, Cartman, Kenny, and Stan are playing in the front of Stan's yard. I walk past without a single gesture hoping that at least one of them would acknowledge my existence in this world. No such luck. They keep playing as if I weren't there. Tears fill my eyes and I sniff and wipe my nose with my sleeve. A cold wind blows me from behind making my hair fly forward in front of my face. The slow tears fall come down. Im tired, physically, mentally, and just all over tired.

Three kids, younger than me, play out in the snow in front of a big green house. A small, little girl brushes a small doll's hair as two other boys play tag. One of the boy's isn't watching where he's going and he runs over into me, making us both topple to the ground into the road. The boy lifts his head and looks at me. I look back at him and blow the blonde hair that rests on my nose, out of my face. He smiles showing a gap in between his teeth and stands up. I stand up too and dust the snow off of me.

"You need to be more careful next time kid, okay?"

The boy nodded happily and runs back to play with his siblings. The corners of my lips start to turn up but I immediately catch myself and frown. Suddenly a boy, a little older than the three kids outside, ran out of the green house with a young woman who looked to be in her 20's followed. She had a tank top on with tight jeans and brown flip flops. She came racing outside with an arm in the air, the hand in a balled fist. "You little shitheaded monkey!" She screamed.

The kids looked at her and they all raced behind me.

"You stupid little brat! How DARE you interrupt my phone call with my boyfriend! I'm going to freaken kill you!" She raced over at me.

I stood my ground as the kids ducked behind me in fear.

"Who are you?" I asked the woman, my heartbeat began racing.

"I'm the little brats' babysitter. I'm taking care of them while their good for nothing parents are away! And just who the hell are you!"

"Bebe Stevens."

"Well Bebe Stevens." She leaned over, her red face a few inches from mine. I stood my ground, determined.

"Move." One word. Just that one word had more authority and venom in it.

I looked at her squarely. "No."

"What?" she growled, her voice just above a whisper. Passerby's stopped and stared. Some of my classmates had gathered on the other side of the street, watching.

"I'm not going to move. You are treating these kids horribly and I'm not moving."

"Fine." The woman looked at me angrily and smiled.

"If you won't move…. Then I'll get you instead!" The woman jumped on me making me fall back. The kids ran from behind me screaming.

She sat on my stomach and started attacking me; her long fingernails digging deep into my skin and making long slashes across my face. I tried to shove her off but she grabbed my hair and started punching me. I screamed and grabbed her wrists and tried to use my feet to shove myself out from under her but wasn't strong enough. I screamed loud for help but when I opened my eyes, tears ran down my face when I saw my classmates just standing there. I screamed a loud bloodcurdling scream as the woman tugged my hair and kept throwing punches at my face. She scratched and punched and cursed.

Someone wrapped their arms around the woman's waist and slowly pulled her off of me. The woman kept a hard grip on my hair and pulled me along with her. When she finally let go, I fell to my hands and knees. When I looked up, I saw one of the kids had their arms around her waist.

"Leave her alone!" The little pigtailed girl yelled.

"You little-!" The woman tried to smack the girl.

"It's coming right for us!" A familiar voice yelled as a gunshot followed.

The woman fell to the ground, limp.

"Holy Crap dude!" Stan yelled.

"Hey, uh, Bebe. You okay?" Stan's uncle walked over to me.

I looked up at him, the tears coming down and the blood from the scratches blended with each other.

"Thank you."

"Don't thank me! The boys were the one who told us about what was going on!" Us? I looked pass him to see Ned nodding.

"The boys?"

"Yup! Stan, Kyle, Cartman, and Kenny saw what the woman was doing and immediately raced to us!"

I looked over at the boys. "You guys saved me and those kids?"

"Well, we didn't want to see you guys die!" Stan said.

"Ya dude! That wouldn't have been cool!" Kyle added.

Kenny said something but his jacket muffled the words out.

"I just wanted to see someone die. I could give a rats ass about you and those snot nose kids." Cartman spat.

The little girl walked over and grabbed Cartman's hand.

"Ey!" He looked down at her.

She sucked her thumb and looked at him. "I like you." She smiled.

One of the boys jumped on his back while another one hugged him. "You're soft and squishy!"

"EY! Get off of me you little assholes!" Cartman waddled around trying to get the kids off of him. The other kid, the eldest, took the opportunity to tackle his brothers and Cartman while the little girl giggled.

I smiled as Kenny, Stan, and Kyle laughed.

I realized that, I am cared for after all, even if it is not said aloud.