Emergency Room

"The ER," House told his team as he opened the door. "The Emergency Room. There's a reason why they call it that. You ducks are boring me. My boredom is an emergency."

Random thought I had about what happens down at the ER. House seems to bug Cameron lots down there, don't you think? Intended to be a (very) short one. But I couldn't help to put out such detailed descriptions.

Disclaimer: Don't own House MD. Do Own Alfonso. Chase and Cameron would be doing it all over the place if I owned the show.

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"So," Kutner said, turning his chair around to face the rest of the team across him. "We haven't had a case in two days. I don't know about you, but I've been earning extra bucks down at Pediatrics. What have you been up to?"
"Lab," Thirteen and Taub said in unison.

It really has been two days since they've done anything. They were smart enough to use the time to earn more cash.

"What has House been doing?" Taub asked, rolling a ball on the table back and forth his hands.

The door that separated the inner and outer office opened.
"Nothing. Nada. I'm bored." House told them. "You can have your fiesta, since you've obviously covered all of my clinic hours for the week. Happy Easter."

And he headed for the door.
"Where are you going?" Thirteen asked him.

"The ER," House told his team as he opened the door. "The Emergency Room. There's a reason why they call it that. You ducks are boring me. My boredom is an emergency."

The three looked at each other.
Thirteen took out her phone and started texting.

House always hung out at the ER when he was bored, or if he needed time to think. It was just such a marvelous place. Always crowded, always loud, always extreme. Some of the people were idiotic. He just wanted to slap a band-aid at their faces; since that was all they needed. Could people tell the difference between a clinic and the ER? Cameron even gave the low-priority patients too high of a priority.

The main ER admit desk had a complete view of these bloody patients, which is why he claimed it his own. He would sit down and put his feet up, always sucking on a lollipop or eating some sort of Candy from the desk. The desk held lots of jars of candy and lollipops; 'For the kids,' Cameron would say every time he asked. 'It's not Pediatrics,' House would retort back. He would chat with the security guard Alfonso. They talked about lots of stuff.

When he did nothing but twirl his cane and eating his lollipop, he would always bug Cameron, who was usually always almost never paying attention to him. She was always busy, always in a hurry whenever she passed him. But he would have questions and theories about who the hell she was now and then. She seemed so different nowadays. She can even retort back to his own witty comments. Has hell frozen over?

House limped into the ER, not surprised at all by the sounds of wails and screams; it was that time of the day when a rush hour came. He looked around and saw people hustling everywhere. The desk he always sat on was empty, except for Alfonso, who was standing next to it.

"Hola Alfonso," House told him.
And they talked like that for what seemed to be forever. Movies, Celebrities, The Hills.

Sometimes he finds an eventual patient for himself there. The routine is usually this: House is bored with nothing to do/his team is boring, so he sits in the ER admit desk and watch them hustle to get the job done. People are always usually bleeding and people appear screaming all the time. He makes conversations with Cameron while she's running around, so he has to follow her. He finds someone who he knows is lying and/or looks potentially dying and/or interesting, House admits that patient as his.

And, unfortunately, Cameron says no 92% of the time. 'The patient is fine,' and 'Stop taking your boredom out on me,' were her usual lines. He go tells on Cuddy, Cuddy always takes Cameron's side, he has to get the team to persuade Cameron, Cameron still always says no, and if she gets annoyed then she threatens to call Cuddy (who they're still afraid of.) 8% of the time, she would agree with him and send the patient immediately. Out of 100 butterflies in a year, a maximum of 12 would be sent to him from Cameron herself, insisting that this patient was for him.
But sometimes, he went to the ER, like he mentioned, just for plain fun.

He would talk to the security guard, Alfonso, about so many fun things. "How was it like in Mexico?" and "Can you bring me Tamales?" were his most frequent questions.

Alfonso worked only on weekdays, and he liked him the best. Joe worked weekends and he was disgustingly nerdy, because he told on Cameron if he did something bad. Like 'wasting' all of her lollipops, or tossing tonsil-sticks around.

So sometimes he would decide to bother Chase. But Chase's workplace was so manly. They were all mostly men. And they're lounge did have TiVo, but it lacked the scent of women when he needed it. Being banned (again) from the Doctor's lounge is so five years ago. He'll have to stop insulting people. He didn't benefit much from it.

He'd rather if he hung out in Cameron's office, which she rarely went into anyways, and he would start sneaking into her things, and watching TV. Either that, or he would start annoying Wilson and Cuddy while they work. He'll have girly time chit-chat with Thirteen and Kutner once in a while. If his boredom really reached to a level where the above mentioned wasn't possible, House would even enter Thirteen and Foreman's trials.

"House," she said as she finally approached the desk to take a pen. "Help, or I'll blindly stick any syringe I find on your thigh," She threatened as she wrote something down on the chart.
"Why?" House whined, wriggling his feet up on the desk.. "I only come here to talk to Alfonso, see." He pointed his lollipop at Alfonso.
"Don't you have anything to do?"
"No, I always say no. We have nothing to do. I don't come down here just to enjoy the fact that 3 of your patients might die today, Cameron."
"So if you have nothing to do, why did I just get a page from Kutner saying that you're needed ASAP?" She said huffly, dropping a stack of folders on the desk next to House's feet and putting her hands on her hips.
"Aw, shucks. I told him to get Taub if he wanted that," He looked at Alfonso unbelievably. Alfonso nodded in blunt agreement.
"No, House, your patient is in cardiac arrest," She said, as a nurse gave her a file. "Or was. That was.. an hour ago. And stop wasting my lollipops," She pointed her folder at him strictly.

House gave a hurtful look. "If it makes you happy, you're the prettiest lollipop here, like how this lollipop is the only good flavor in that jar," He said proudly, and showed her his own red lollipop as if it was a huge fish he had just caught. "And.. I don't have a patient. Kutner's playing on you."

"Ha, ha. Go flirt with the nurses. Go play with your game boy. Go bother your team. Just not me. And no, apparently, you have a patient now." She said, putting that folder in a bin.

House made a whining sound and stood up, standing next to her and looked down her shoulder at the folder she had just opened. "A patient? This better be good. And Game boys are for poor people, I have a PSP!"

Cameron only nodded at him, looking at the file that was just given to her interestingly.

"There are lots of reasons why I come down to the ER. I want my retina to be healed, you see," House told her as he was just about to grab that said folder, resulting in Cameron slapping his hand. He pouted, and said, "Fine. But that patient is mine now. She looks like she's got lupus this time. But I might be wrong."

Cameron nodded yet again and gave him the file. "So two patients in one week?"
House shrugged. "I multi-task. I'm a big boy, Cammie"
Cameron laughed and patted his shoulder. "Off you go, then, big boy."
House hopped up and down excitedly like an eight year old. "Thanks, mommy!"

Cameron watched him as he walked out the hallway that exited the ER.
"Oh," House called out, without looking back. "I wrote you a note. It's in your office."

Cameron scurrowed her eyebrows. She'd figured that she'd check it out later; she had lunch break in half an hour anyaways.

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Cameron entered her office, rushing to get her body spray. At least that would make her feel cleaner.
Theresa, McMillan, and Chase were probably wondering where she was in the cafeteria now. It was a rush hour, and a patient wouldn't stay still.

Do men who try to circumsize themselves think that they really have a chance with her?

As she was about to turn off the lights, she noticed that her lipstick was on the floor.
And just as she was about to pick it up, she noticed something.
And it wasn't that hard to spot House's 'note'.

'Cammie, do you want to feed me healthy food during lunch? I'll be sitting down on my usual spot at 1:35.'

She didn't know how to explain to the janitor how House somehow managed to get her keys and her red Chanel lipstick that was now smothered on the wall.