It's rare I get a moment alone to myself. Usually when I arrive home from school, Sesshy's already home from work. He makes sure I do my homework, and any chores before I have my fun time.

My Sesshy's a nice man... always making sure I'm happy. Whenever I do something bad, he teaches me why it was bad. Most guardians just beat their children and expect them to learn from that. My Sesshy teaches me to be good. He doesn't have to hurt me. I take what he tells me and I make sure never to do it again. I'm his good girl.

There's just one thing that he's told me that's bad, that I can't stop doing...

My friends told me about these adult videos that kids aren't supposed to watch. The actors get naked together, and they touch each other and put their mouths on each other and even touch their downstairs parts together.

When they told me this, I didn't really understand why such videos would exist... They told me that the story is always bad, the actors are always really sucky, but every time, they get naked and touch each other.

When I asked Sesshy what these videos were for, he told me it was for adults, and that children shouldn't worry about them until they're older. He told me it would be bad for me to watch these videos, and that I should just talk about cartoons with my friends, not adult things.

But I was really curious. I knew he said it would be bad to watch, but I just wanted to see for myself.

I pulled up the Google search on my Sesshy's laptop one day, when I had gotten home before him, and typed in "naked adults touching video". A lot of web pages with the word "porn" popped up. I clicked on the first one, and there were lots of videos to choose from. I chose the first one.

In this video, a girl was at a doctor's office, and her doctor was examining her body with his tools. It was really bad acting, like my friends said it would be, and eventually the two actors got naked. They did all of the things my friends said they would, and for some reason, while I watched, I got a strange feeling in my downstairs... I rubbed my thighs together while sitting on the couch, and it felt nice... But then, I heard the door unlocking. I exited the page and brought up a kid's site instead, so my Sesshy wouldn't suspect anything.

But ever since that day, whenever I had some time alone at home, I would bring up the "porn" pages and watch until he came home. I started off just rubbing my legs together, but eventually it just wasn't enough... One day I went into my room and grabbed a teddy bear from my bed. I lay down on the living room floor with my Sesshy's computer, and the teddy bear inside my panties. I would watch the videos and rub myself against the teddy bear until this feeling would hit me. I'd become out of breath and sleepy, and it would feel like I somehow had left my body for a few seconds.

It was the most amazing feeling I had ever felt.

But one day, Sesshy caught me.

I was lying on the floor with my teddy, the same as always, when he came in. I had already changed the screen to a kid's website, but I was already breathless and my face was red, because I was so close to that feeling.

Sesshy could tell something wasn't right...

"Rin, what are you doing?" he asked me.

"Umm, just playing the computer game. I finished my homework already. It's on the table, can you check it?" I tried to distract him so I could go into my room and put my teddy back. I didn't want him to catch me with it in my panties...

"Are you feeling ok, sweetie? Your face is red. You seem breathless." He came to me and knelt down, putting his hand across my forehead to see if it was warm.

"Umm, I might be sick. Could you get the thermometor so we can check?"

I think he could tell I was acting strangely, because he stood and said, "Rin, stand up."

I was starting to panic... Not only would he know I was watching the videos he told me not to, but he would know that I was rubbing myself to them also.

"Can I just finish this game...? I'm almost at the end..."

He slammed the laptop shut and looked at me with a stern look. "Rin, stand, now."

I slowly got to me knees, and stood in front of him. I pulled down my shirt and hoped he couldn't see the teddy's legs coming from the top of my pants.

"Rin, what is that in your pants?"

Crap.

I looked at the floor. I was quiet. I didn't know what to say...

"Rin." His voice was hard. Mean. He was angry. "Look at me and tell me what you were doing."

"I..." It was hard to tell him. What I was doing seemed so dirty... and he had already told me it was bad... but I couldn't disobey him. "I was watching those adult videos, with the naked people... and I... I was rubbing myself against my teddy."

He was still angry, but he seemed happy that I had told him what I was doing.

He took my hand and started to walk towards the couch. I followed him, afraid he might actually be so upset with me that he would put me over his knee.

Once we got to the couch, he let go of my hand and sat down. He patted his leg and said "Sit."

I sat on his lap, like I had done so many times before, but this time something was different. It was like in the videos... The men's downstairs would become bigger, harder, in order to fit into the lady. Now my Sesshy's downstairs was hard like this. I was confused.

"Sesshy..." I wanted to stand, but he held me in place. I could feel him on the part of me that I would rub into teddy. I didn't want to feel him there. It didn't seem right.

"Sesshy, please, I can feel you... down there. That's not ok."

"Baby, I want you to show me what you did with your teddy." I could feel him underneath me, it seemed as though he was poking me with his thing.

"Sesshy... I told you..."

"I want you to show me. Now."

I was so scared, this just didn't seem right, but... my Sesshy was a good man. He was a nice man. And this was my dicipline.

I rubbed myself against him, like I had on my teddy, but because he was harder than my teddy, it felt much better...

I stopped myself and told him, "Like that."

"Keep going, Rin. Show me what this does to you..."

I slowly started to rub myself against him again, but this time, I didn't care if it was wrong. It felt right. I kept going until that feeling came back again, and this time I let out a sound when it hit me. I could feel wetness through my jeans, but it wasn't from me...

My Sesshy then stood and dumped me from his lap. He looked down at me and said, "Next time you want to look at a video like that, you come to me instead. Ok?"

I nodded, and he walked into the bathroom and shut the door.

At that moment, I was never happier.