"bringin' on the heartache"
by se7en e11even
aka Joiz Reyez
[omg. Did I just write my name?
Copyright © 2007
Pairing: No pairing. Solo. Nyahahaha!!!!!!!!!
Disclaimer: Huh?
Author's note:
Go formulate a hypothesis. I myself can't figure what I've written… LOL. No offense, k?
Dedication: To my only friend who freaks out with me for SenrU, and for my xota who is too a SenRu fan –ehem- acceptor. Actually I'm inspired by "my only friend who freaks out with me for SenrU"s situation now. She's actually a bit love sick. You know, heart broken. And I can't even help to ask why in the world she loves that 'Laguna Negro' guy!!!! He doesn't deserve 'you'. [I liked that emphasis! He looks like a match stick, honestly. Hehe. Peace! Cheer up, people, move on!!! Ha! And for another 1, my sister who said this was an eM0, but sorry, it wasn't'. Thank God. This was Rated A. Heh. For me. And I think I should be studying now for my bio exam tom, but I just thought that there'll be no changes if I reviewed or not. The results are no difference. Charot. God bless my tests!!! Hehe. P
I love you SenRu. Solid!
Peace!
anOdErnOtE:
I loVe yOu aKi mIdOri and kUmaGorO MeOwzAki… 2…!
Just hate Rated M fics.
gone crazy
November 11, 2007
11-11-07
----------------------------
Thousand days since I met you.
Heh.
And so?
You didn't even recognize we met that time.
---------------------------
When you're around, I can't think.
My sensors doesn't work.
Bullshit.
You're driving me crazy.
How could you?
Did you tend somebody to play witchcraft on me?
Day by day I'm feeling sick.
Worst to hell worst.
Know that?
My heart is pounding like tinky-winky-dipsy-lala-pooh!
It turned out to doo-bidoo all day long.
Me while thinking 'bout you dumped with a poop of a pitbull or bulldog, whatever, all the same.
It was freshly 'baked' manure and the smell… I would almost pulled that doggie's dick.
But I didn't.
It was a girl.
And the owner was named Kaede.
It was embed on his upper right pocket.
I'm stupefied.
-----------------------------
We were friends already. Again.
Am so happy.
------------------------------
Time by time, our eyes met by chance.
Thunder and lightning joint forces in my whole system.
You always get me on my nerves.
But it felt like I'm just a wind that just passed by. It felt I'm nothing.
And you?
I've been such an imbecile scumbag to you.
You're so0000…. gulp
Don't wanna mention it.
I'm a wholesome person.
I'm a changed man.
-------------------------------
Pout.
Don't pout.
It's so tempting.
But I do have the same appeal, neh?
But why? Why you're so cruel?
You're so hot , God , I'm melting.
Why?
I don't know.
But I think I just said you're hot, didn't I?
----------------------
Coz you don't know what it feels like.
I'm the pliant one.
And what's this?
What?
eMO?
I'm not an EMO!!!
Dammit!
----------------------
Do you know how much I loved you?
Even you kept on declining all my certainties left on my body.
You still don't care.
Didn't.
And will not.
Never.
---------------------------
"See you later."
--------------------------
Success is 1 inspiration and 99 perspiration. So that's why I'm bathing with sweat now? And the smell, men. Am I stinking already?
-------------------------
I'm not eating anymore!
Look at my body, gosh, I'm so deformed! I'm mal 'nutriated'.
------------------------
Never 'can' how to be without you.
It kills me.
All over.
But you went away.
I just thought that you're having a vacation.
That's what you said.
Somewhere.
In your province.
But you told me before you didn't have a province.
And I saw you in a mall the other day.
How could that be?
Or I had a cataract.
Or you had a twin.
Or I'm a psychic and that what I saw was your double ganger.
What a gift!
But I saw you with somebody.
Thoroughly named, Hisashi Mitsui.
You turn my night into day.
My sun doesn't shine without you.
Just the idea itself thorns me pieces by pieces.
Do you know that?
But…
Your just too far away.
You didn't stay.
You turned my life upside down.
When you went away, I cried to death.
Can't move. Nor talk. I can't even think of you again.
You're killing me.
You know that?
Of course not.
Who would ever thought, Sendoh the almighty would do such stupidity.
My insanity always attacks me.
I'm straight. The last person you'll think that liked you.
I wanna say these words to you.
Yuck.
I love you.
I want to.
I'm becoming mushy.
It just feels like a lifetime.
A lifetime to you wouldn't allow me to love you.
Though let me.
But I already am.
Super mushy.
You never noticed.
And If you did, we would never be friends.
You'll turn away. You'll be backing off on me.
-------------------------------------
I'll kill you!
-------------------------------------
Beep. Beep. Beep.
----------------------------
The day you last spoke to me, I knew what you will say.
Perhaps it's just not meant to be.
I don't want you to continue.
Coz it'll hurt me.
But ain't I hurting now?
But you, Kaede Rukawa, the immovable stiff, cold blooded man, would just leave things like nothing really happened, neh? That's what you are.
You didn't care of what I pleaded.
You said we're better of this way.
I wanted to break down in front of you by the moment the words 'better off' came out of your mouth.
They say love is patient. Love is kind. It does not envy, it doesn't boast. It's never selfish.
I'm never selfish.
And what? What 'way' do you mean?
Like this?
Me on the depressed area?
Like this?
Is this what our professor said? Tropical depression?
That every time I get to see you I feel I'm in the edge of death and the tempest of the weather or whatever the reporter on the tv is saying now which I can't laugh even she kept on making stupid mistakes.
Like me.
With you.
I always keep on making moronic stuffs.
And your smart, we can't be.
-------------------------------------
Feeling like I commit suicide and it's painful.
I'm miserable. You know that?
I'm falling apart.
I needed you.
I just wanted you, was it a crime?
Did any principal law prohibit that?
Transsexuals?
Maybe, but I can't control myself anymore.
Give me a chance.
You got me on my knees, I'm getting weak and vulnerable.
And I'm never like this.
I'll do anything.
I just wanna love you.
It's a free country, right?
I will not rape you, if you just though of that.
I don't take advantage of you.
I'm harmless.
You're safe with me.
I'll never let you go.
Co's I'm nothing without you.
But would you help me?
No. You don't.
You're piercing me to suffocation.
You took everything from me since you walked away.
You've got the best of me, can't you see?
You're bringing on the heart ache.
You can take what's left of me.
My calvary.
At the point that I cursed love.
I cursed you, too.
But I'm never selfish, remember?
But…
It's hard…
You're complicating things.
I felt disgrace and all but all I can do is to love you.
All over again.
That's what I'm used to.
Maybe I should haven't told you such decisive stuffs.
Don't worry, you'll never hear them again.
I will never say those.
----------------------------------
Oi.
You smiled.
Heaven.
Everthing was okay now.
Hope so.
We're happy.
----------------------------
Can't you open up your numb heart?
Odysseus love?
But that's what my instincts says!!!
'Rukawa is gorgeous. Rukawa is beautiful. Rukawa pouts cutely. He's so HOT. Rukawa loves Kaede.'
Obsession can kill, Kosh said, but why I'm still alive?
--------------------
You said we'll see at the resto near your place.
You sound so happy.
I'm happy again.
-----------------------
You're too little too late.
I'm confused, can you make me understand?
Was your signal choppy, that's why I heard wrongly?
------------------------
It's 3:30, you said you'll arrive at six in the morn'!
But it's already dawn of the next day.
------------
'Uh-ah-oh. Hu-hu-hu-hu-!'
The actress cried in the soap.
I cried too.
See how evil spirits possessed me now?
I'm watching drama.
At it's not even porn.
But why did it sound to be more abnormal?
--------------------
'Uh-ah-oh. Hu-hu-hu-hu-!'
Do I cry the same way?
-------------------
Am I that a martyr?
Am I already comparable to Alexander the Great's prominence when it comes to sacrifices?
You're the only one I got.
But you've got many.
It's unfair. There's only one I gotta loose.
----------------------------------
"Sorry. Goodbye."
What is good about 'byes'?
Who invented that affix, dammit!
It's never been good!
---------------------------------
Obsession can kill.
------------------------------
"Sorry."
No need. You're never gonna stay.
Just wanna ask one last favor.
Murder me.
You already had the cue to do that.
I know for millions of times; that's what you really wanted.
You're yearning for my death.
If I wasn't there, you must be the MVP this year.
That's what you wanted.
Really.
You had now my consent.
Well, your wish is my command.
Do it.
Now.
Why are you just standing there?
Are you that holy that you don't want your hand to get blood stains?
But you've tinted them long time ago.
You can stab me.
Do cruel things to me.
Yeah.
But it won't hurt anymore.
As you already did to my whole life.
My vitality isn't functioning even before, so it'll not hurt.
Swear.
Still it'll feel so good you're the one who'll end my delusions.
At least you're the one I ended with, whatever.
It's just the same.
You have my consent.
----------------------------
Wang! Wang!!!!!!!!!!
Wang!
Wing!
Wang!
Wing!
---------------------------
Gosh! I'm in the hospital!
Whitelady.
What?!!!
Did you just say I have a hog cholera?
And why are you smiling?
Is there anything funny?
----------------------------
Food and mouth disease?
----------------------------
No. No. No. No!
I said 'no!'
For whoever's sake!
Can't you hear me?!!!
I don't what that needle!!!
Put it away!!!!
"…………."
What?
It's just a tranchelizer?
Ah, okay. I see.
-----------------------
I'm broken.
-----------------------
Oh my God!
There are red bloods!
----------------------
"Sendoh."
----------------------
Why didn't you killed me?
I've already prepared a suicidal letter so you don't need to worry.
You're not a catholic, were you?
You don't need to confess on the priest on that drilled chair case of craved from nara, with little wholes, I think which is for breathing, cos it's so dimmy on there, the last time I spoke to the new priest there. He said I'm stupid. But it's common. I don't have to feel miserable, anyway.
There's no substitute.
Only you can do it.
---------------------------
What's that again?
You said that's just achupankchur!!!
Aaah!!!
Why did it look like little injection?!
---------------------------
NoH!
Not at my buttocks!
Their perfect!
Vaccine?
Was that for nine month olds?
---------------------------
I'm not a toddler!
----------------------
Even right now you're so far away.
I just kept on hoping.
Hoping I had a space in your heart.
But I already did, right?
You said I'm at the bottom.
I took that positively though.
I was having double minds on what 'at the bottom' means.
And I don't' know what exact line is the punch line. And if you'vementioned it already.
Co's I saw you on my back scoffing at that 'idea'.
What's funny?
----------------------------
Don't touch that nurse!
I'm a virgin!
Promise!
Keep off that---!!!
Ouch.
----------------------
The page cannot be displayed
The page you are looking for is currently unavailable. The Web site might be experiencing technical difficulties, or you may need to adjust your browser settings.
--------------------
oi, miss, my dextrose is all out of water…
Could you---
Okay.
Thanks.
----------------------
Thanks for massaging.
You can go now.
Oh. But Hey---
Why are you winking at me?!
Wait---!!!!!
---------------------------
I'm raped!!!!!
I'm sexually—
My HYMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
------------------------
OhMaGas!!!!!!!!!!
------------------------
I love you Rukawa.
Wouldn't you rest-back for me for those who devirginized my divinity?
--------------
I'm broken hearted.
My testicles were taken.
Somebody ripped it on her hands.
It felt like it was completely gone for a while.
--------------
Reality bites.
Fact hurts.
Fact you! Or fact me?
Or life? Life is a fact right?
Fact life!
-----------------------
I'm broken hearted.
You asked how did my surgery worked.
And if I had.
I figured you'd say that.
---------------
Oh. Yeah.
---------------
I don't feel right when you're gone away.
Where were you?
---------------
How can I put it?
You put me on?
I just wanna be with you.
I can't breathe.
------------------
Since you've been gone.
---------------
Again and again and again.
---------------
I'm moving on.
-------------------
I got what I want.
---------------------------
Since you've been gone.
-----------------------
Oh, anyway, the nurse who raped me went away. She couldn't help the hang-over of it.
And to tell you, it hurt. Yucky.
-----------------------
HiRo! Gemme'wayfrom'ere!
Sadako's back!!!!!!!!
----------------------
Dizguzting.
-----------------------
You ruined me, Rukawa. Alive.
----------------------
I have recovered.
Don't love you no more, Rukawa.
----------------------
Death note:
$$&()-076983438238
Get a decoder!
----------------------
Now after this, would you still think that the writer of this fic is a SOLID Senru fan?
-------------------------
R.I.P.
Sign of the cross
The name of the father, the son ………….
----------------------
He was ripped? Was that the crime of molesting someone? Rip?
-----------------------
Obituary:
Blah blah blah Blah blah blah Blah blah blah Blah blah blah Blah blah blah Blah blah blah Blah blah blah Blah blah blah Blah blah blah Blah blah blah Blah blah blah Blah blah blah Blah blah blah Blah blah blah Blah blah blah Blah blah blah Blah blah blah Blah blah blah Blah blah blah!!!!
--------------------
I'll find someone new, Rukawa!!!
------------------
Did Sendoh resurrected?
Nope. That's what ghosts are for. You know, unfinished business. It's full moon too.
/se7en e11even/
Happy 'nothings' day!
P!!!!
author's note:
Sorry Sendoh. Never meant to make you stupid. I never knew this would end up this way but it was already, didn't know how…and why.. Hahaha!!!! Love you SenRusians!!!!!!!!!
This is so…. Accidental….. Hahehihohu!!!
I can't understand my own fic!!! Hah!!! Just imagine them… God, sorry, this is hallucination. Daydreaming isn't a crime, is it?
P.S.: No compliments needed. I knew them. Joke. Just review. I can't even handle my friendster with care, and worse than this. I wish somebody would incidentally do that and would make me feel that after a long wait, someone has read my fic.
Okay, I'm having my review now. I mean my 'bio review'. Haha. Like I would really. And If you observed somethin', my syntax and semantic including my dictions are a bit 'adopted', because I can't help writing without a song on my background, so some of them were deliberated and compensated by reverse. HooH[Homonyms? I can't make a bibliography so I'll just make say inhere. I'm really serious with my studies[no diggity, no doubt! and I pray this computer would bear with me. And sched! Gosh, I can't really have the inspiration on writing this except for you and Sen-Ru. I don't see any glrrrr hot guy in my school!! Nyahahaha!!! That's why I'm not distracted in my academics! If I really had a credible one. Lol.
I love you guys! Not the 'guys'…
And for the gazillionth time, typo is my expertise.
Rock on!!!!
Oh, my b-day is near!!! And the field trip too! My neesan and my xota have the same birth date with me. We'll celebrate by then!!!
"Bigbang is 'be happy'. Err. 'VIP'. I heard it wrong. TOP is so freaking hot. "
Too long for PS.
One shot High-speeded fic The-author-is-in-adrenaline-rush If-you-look-at-it-the-only-long-notes-are-the-author's-note You-see?
7-11