Title: Appearances and Other Deceits

Rating: T

Summary: Post 310 story of lust, loss and love. (R/H)

Author's Note: This, as much as it pain's me to say it, is a work-in-progress. My thanks goes to two crazy chicks; Hal for beta reading this fic and to Hestia for first inspiring it.

The doubts kicked in roughly five minutes after climbing into the taxi, and the desire to turn the cab around started three streets away from her destination. So, by the time that Ruth pulled up in front of the all too perfect suburban house, she was a nervous wreck and wishing like hell she'd had two glasses of wine whilst getting ready instead of her sensible one.

The events that led up to her agreeing to go to the party had been many months in the making, though she quickly realised the key factor was the simple fact she'd ran out of excuses. Short of breaking both of her legs herself, this on reflection didn't seem like such a stupid idea; she really had no way out of it. She'd loitered overly long on the grid in the vague hope that some emergency would provide her with a legitimate excuse at the very last minute. She'd waited for as long as she could until it became painfully clear sod's law had kicked in. On the one night she needed a national crisis, there wasn't going to be one. Even the terrorists were conspiring against her.

Drawing a shaky breath, Ruth passed the driver a couple of notes. Not waiting for change, she jumped out of the taxi before she changed her mind. Standing in the drive and looking at the front door beyond the trimmed little garden, she reconciled herself to the fact it was time to bite the bullet. After all, hailing another taxi and running home to a cold house and a hungry cat seemed a bit of a cop out after getting dressed up.

Suzanne and Ruth had met back at GCHQ. Both Suzanne and her husband Mark had worked in the same department as Ruth, and they'd all become fairly good friends. Back in the days when Ruth had had at least a semblance of a life outside of work that is. Suzanne regularly threw dinner parties for her friends, little social gatherings filled mostly with married couples who loved nothing better than swapping stories about their kids. Suzanne also had the terrible habit of trying to match Ruth off with any and all single men that happened to be at the party.

She'd stopped going to the things months ago.

But then three months ago everything had changed. For the first time in her fairly solitary existence, Ruth had felt alone. Truly alone. That was the real reason she finally agreed to tag along to one of Suzanne's dinner parties, because she didn't want to be left alone. The lack of excuses had just sped up the process.

Ringing the bell, Ruth looked down to do one final check of her outfit. She hated these things, always worrying she'd be under-dressed, or even worse, overdressed for the occasion. Her dark blue dress was flattering and her shoes had a modest heel that gave her just enough extra height. Fingers crossed and hidden beneath her purse, Ruth waited for the slow social torture to get underway.

"Oh, and over there, that's David. Be sure to say hello! I've told him all about you. Well... you know what I mean." Suzanne said with a smile, her arm wrapped comfortingly around Ruth's shoulders as she guided her through the party to the kitchen. "Mark's getting drinks. I'm sure he'll keep an eye on you for a minute."

Ruth nodded and watched as Suzanne slipped away through the gathering to mingle some more. Mark looked up as she entered the spacious pine kitchen, took one look at her and grinned.

"She at it all ready?" He asked, still grinning as he handed Ruth a glass of wine.

"I think she's pointed out every single man in the locality." Ruth said sipping the wine gratefully, "Never mind. How are you? It's been too long."

"I'm well. Stuck with playing the dutiful host at the moment but at least it keeps me out of trouble. Still, I think I can take a break, keep you company for a bit."

"Excellent. You can fend off the hordes of bachelors that Suzanne's been handing my dating CV out to."

They both laughed and Ruth began to relax a little. It did feel good to be out and amongst different people again. For three months she'd felt like she'd been walking around in molasses. Between home and work and home again. More out of habit than anything else. She'd just carried on. They'd all been given two weeks off to help come to terms with the turmoil that had ripped through their department. Since going back none of them had said a word about it. They'd just carried on, taking each crisis as it came and then rushing off to deal with the next one. Yes, it felt good to laugh and joke again. To be with people that weren't emotionally scared and carrying around a chip on their shoulder as big as hers.

"Come on," Mark said as he saw her features drawing tight, "Let's mingle. Then we can make fun of them behind their backs afterwards."

"Sounds like a plan, Batman." Ruth said, grateful Mark was taking the time to be with her, and grateful she had a friend who wasn't scared to tell her to cheer up when she needed it.

They wandered around the house talking to various people. Some she knew, others were strangers that knew Suzanne and Mark through their kids or for some other homely, normal reason. To everyone there her name was Rachel and she was some sort of PA, shuffling paper and writing schedules in an office somewhere in the city.

Mark pulled faces when they weren't looking and Ruth stifled laughs. It wasn't long before she relaxed and was even glad that she'd finally agreed to go along. After walking away from one particularly boring couple they both fell into fits of laughter and got refills for their drinks.

"The man's voice!"

"You mean the monotone drawl?" Ruth said, and watched Mark dissolve into laughter. "I thought he'd never shut up. Do you think he knows he's the most boring man on earth?"

"And her!" Mark said handing Ruth back her glass, "Did you see the way she kept stroking my arm? He must be pretty dull in every department!"

It was Ruth's turn to laugh and they both headed for the door. This time they headed away from the main party. Someone had put on some cheesy music and a few people were even dancing so there wasn't much chance of doing much talking in the front room. Instead they headed to the conservatory at the back of the house. It was a warm evening, one of the first of spring just beginning to settle in.

There were a few people out there, sat on the cushioned wicker chairs and talking about mundane things. Standing in the doorway, Mark glanced around the room and murmured to Ruth, "I don't know anyone out here very well, so, your turn to pick the quarry."

Ruth smiled into her glass and took a closer look at the faces of the people in the room. To the left were two couples, the women in floral Laura Ashley dresses and the men in blue suits with ties that matched their wives dresses. They looked like they were deep in conversation and Ruth had no desire to be looked at like that crazy single friend that needed to be pitied. Dead ahead were two bankers, smoking and talking about numbers. A possibility, Ruth mused; the one on the left was fairly good looking and didn't have a ring on his finger. The third and final option was a small group of people to the right, sat drinking on the patio lit by candle light.

"That way." Ruth said, pointing to them.

Outside Mark smiled and introduced her to the people he knew. One of the women smiled and filled in the rest; Lucy, a pretty younger woman; Sarah one of Suzanne's friends; David and John, who were sat on the end drinking scotch.

Ruth said hello to each of them in turn. It wasn't until she looked to David and John that she saw him staring at her. Her stomach tied itself in a knot as she smiled thinly and looked away hurriedly. John wasn't John at all but Harry.