AN: Set between grave and lessons. Feedback is good. Thanks.
All Is Full Of Love
Willow Rosenburg had been in England for two and a half months. She was being rehabilitated by a powerful and wise coven despite her belief that she didn't deserve there help or kindness.
The reason for her stay was the slaying of Warren Myers. She tortured him before flaying him alive but before that Willow was a sweet, loving person but Dark Willow, the person overrun by the magicks is just the opposite, she's vicious and cruel.
But she hadn't turned without cause. Tara, her girlfriend or more importantly her soul mate was murdered by Warren. She was hit by a stray bullet. She didn't die a heroic death like all of the scoobies should. It was mortal and dirty.
The witch hadn't stopped at Warren though. She killed Rack, she tried to end the world and was close to succeeding until Xander. Then Giles brought her to England. She'd grieved since the moment her hair turned red again and it hadn't shown signs of letting up.
So now she was balled up in the corner of Giles' room. She sobbed as her insides were on fire.
Giles watched in horror as Willow sat in the corner of his room, knee's pulled up to her chest. Her sobs cut into him as they always had. He kneeled down beside her.
"Willow? What is it?" He asked hoping she'd hear him over her sobs.
She shook her head as she tried to choke back her sobs. "I-I can feel it."
"Feel what?"
She looked him in the eye. "Evil. It's pure, Giles. It's coming for us. And..." she trailed off as another wave of tears made there way down her red cheeks.
The watcher tried to comfort the girl as he placed a hand on her head and smoothed her hair. "Tell me what else." he instructed gently.
"It can't be real." She begged. "The evil's using her against me Giles!"
If he was honest he knew what she meant but it was so cruel he had to hear for himself. "Using who?"
"Tara." She said simply as she wept.
Giles handed Willow the mug of Tea then sat on the desk so he was directly in front of the witch.
"Explain again what you felt."
"Evil. Pure, untainted evil rising from below. Then... Since she's been gone I've had this huge gaping hole inside, literally, but now it's not like that. It feel's like Tara, like she's ok but..." Willow explained.
Giles didn't even have a chance to say anything as his phone rang.
Willow watched as he spoke to Buffy. He suddenly paled and she dreaded the worse. What if it was Dawn? Or Xander?
He was as polite as ever thanking Buffy telling her to keep safe and wishing her well before hanging up.
When he took his glasses off and started to clean them she knew it was serious.
"Is everyone ok?" she asked fearfully.
"It appears so." He cleared his throat nervously. "We have to go back to Sunnydale. Today."
Willow frowned. "But why? I'm not even done with my rehabilitation!"
Giles looked torn. He couldn't tell her yet. She'd be far too emotional to travel. "The evil you sensed. Buffy and the rest need our help."
Within the hour they had left for the Sunnydale.
Giles still hadn't told Willow the true reason for their early return to Sunnydale. The flight had been long and hard on them both. Willow thought they were going back to face a supreme evil. When really it was so much more than that.
They got in a taxi to Rovello drive which surprised Willow. Why wouldn't Xander come and pick them up? It was then she started to panic.
"Giles, I have to get out. I can't go there. It's too soon, they might not even want me back I mean no one came to the airport to pick us up or, or give us a welcome home!" She babbled.
"Willow, please. You are needed back here. There's a situation and Buffy, Xander... All of them still love you. They might still be angry with you and it probably won't just go back to the way it was but they are your family, they won't turn their back on you." Giles reassured.
Willow nodded still not really believing him.
And then they were home.
Buffy and Xander stood at the doorway waiting as the witch and the watcher made their way up the path. Both of them could see the sadness radiating off of her. Her red hair was so much longer now and her eyes had lost their spark. She wasn't the same vibrant girl they'd known and loved for so long.
All four stood facing one another. No one knew where to start. There were small smile's but more than anything there were silent pain filled apologies.
Giles and Buffy were the first to break the awkward stand off as they hugged. Next was the turn of Xander and Willow. He gave her that goofy smile and enveloped her in a huge hug. She made sure not to let go for at least a minute. She'd missed him so much.
"I love you." He whispered in her ear.
Willow could only manage a "You too." as she was so choked up.
As soon as Xander had released her she was almost bowled over by Buffy's fierce hug. She felt herself losing the battle with her emotions as let her tears fall. Buffy soon felt her friend crying so she held on that little bit tighter. "I miss you." Buffy whispered as she held her friend.
When they finally separated they made their way to inside realising that all of their reunion had taken place on the porch. Willow's reluctance to walk through the door, into the house where her lover had died was obvious to them all but Buffy and Xander stood on either side of her supportively.
Willow looked around the living room. Nothing had changed. "Where's Dawn?" She asked noticing the teens absence.
They each shared worried glances. "She's uh.. she's around. You know these crazy kids today. You'll see her soon though." Xander told her.
Willow nodded suspiciously.
"So..." Buffy said breaking the silence that had fallen between them.
Giles cleared his throat. "There's a rather menacing evil rising."
"Oh! do we get to hit the books?" Xander asked with excitement in his voice. Buffy and Willow frowned at him.
"Well, it's been a while since we've had group research." He tried to justify.
"No. Researching can wait till we're all settled in. I've actually not been able to find out much about what is rising, it's quite worrying."
"I felt it. It's... pure evil. I never even felt anything that untainted when I was... dark Willow."
"We're in for a big fight but we'll get through it." Buffy said with confidence.
"Go scoobies!" Xander said while giving a little punch in the air.
Xander's outburst went pretty much without notice.
"Will, come sit down." Buffy said as they sat next to one another on the sofa.
"What is it?" Willow asked fearfully.
"I need you to not lose it but someone else came home yesterday. This is just so... It's Tara, she's back."
Willow's entire world just froze as Buffy spoke those words. She didn't for a second believe it. She and everyone else was shocked as she displayed no reaction.
Then Tara walked in the room with Dawn. Willow looked at her. "Hi."
Tara was too shocked to reply.
Willow stood up. "I'll be back soon." She said in a monotone voice. She soon disappeared upstairs.
As she got to the landing she began breathing faster.
Tara was alive. Tara was downstairs. That feeling, that warmth that had disappeared with her last breath was back and it wasn't some ultimate evil's way of getting to her.
Before she knew she was standing outside of her bedroom. She swung the door open. The room was the same.
As she walked to the foot of the bed she found what she had been looking for: A stain, the evidence that Tara had died on the floor in her arms.
She fell to her knee's and stared at the dark spot on the carpet. Tara was gone. She died a mortal death, she couldn't come back from that!
"I know. It's impossible." Tara said from the doorway.
Willow didn't turn round to face her. "It is."
"I know I stood here before and I gave you probably the best speech of my life, I just hope it's good enough to give twice." She walked forward a few steps. "But I don't even want to do that. Can you just be kissing me now?"
Willow shoot to her feet and turned around. She had a cold expression blanketing her face. She swallowed hard then quickly cleared the space between them as they kissed passionately and without restraint. She could feel her lips, tongue, cheek, ear, hair, back, arms, hips.
She was real.
When that finally sunk in, when Willow consciously accepted that Tara was alive, she pushed away and landed harshly on the floor beside the bed.
"You have to leave. I can't... I can't do that with you."
Tara frowned, "Willow?"
"Get Out!" Willow shouted as the tears in her eyes began to spill and her breathing became increasingly ragged.
Tara sat down right in front of Willow. "No. I'm not leaving... not again."
Willow shook her head. "You will. You'll be gone again. I can't survive it again, please don't make me" She cried.
Tara raised her hand to wipe the hair from Willow's face but the redhead shied away. Tara felt like she'd been punched. She couldn't remember anytime when Willow had done that.
"Will, please, I'm not going anywhere." It suddenly dawned on her what Willow might be thinking. "I know what you did after... I know it all but I'm not going to leave you because of it." She promised.
"It's not safe, you have to go." she begged.
"Willow, you have to tell me why. I don't understand why you want me to go." She said getting teary herself.
Willow looked her in the eye for a second. "I killed you." She whispered.
"Willow, no. Warren's the one who shot the gun, there was nothing you could do."
Willow buried her head into her knee's as she let a few sobs overtake her. The second she felt Tara's hand on her back she shot up. "I killed you, I'll always be the one to kill you! I brought you into this group and the danger. It's my fault you were standing at that window!"
"Oh, baby. You've thought that this whole time?"
Willow didn't have to answer, Tara could see it in her eyes.
"You gave me a life, you gave me everything. My death was about something much higher." Tara knew it wasn't the time to try and explain it to Willow. It was then she noticed her hand was on Willow's leg and the other woman wasn't reacting badly.
"I missed you." The blonde said softly.
Willow couldn't hold it in any longer as she started to sob. Tara carefully repositioned herself and slowly gathered Willow into her arms and held her.
Willow eventually cried herself out but now just sat silently in the arms she'd missed so much.
Tara was also enjoying the simple sensation but decided it was time they started to speak. "You ok?" She whispered in the red head's ear.
"I don't know. I'm not sure I remember what ok is." Willow said honestly.
Tara stroked her hair. "I'll show you in time." Tara promised. "Your hair's so long."
"I hadn't noticed. There weren't any salon's near the house." She looked up at Tara and for a second Tara saw the girl she fell in love with. "You don't like it?"
"I love it. You look so mature."
"Thanks." Willow said. Her thoughts led her own to another question. "Tara... " But still she can't seem to say it.
Tara knew what Willow wanted to ask. "I'll explain it all if you think your ready."
Willow nodded. "Guess we should move, huh?"
Tara sighed. "Yeah, we should. But only to the bed."
Willow smiled and soon realised the odd occurrence. Willow climbed to her feet then offered Tara a hand up. As they both stood millimetres apart neither could move. Willow felt Tara's breath against her skin. Tara couldn't stand it as she softly kissed Willow savouring the taste.
They both broke away but rested their foreheads against one another trying to calm their breathing.
"Tara. God I missed you so much."
Tara put a hand on Willow's cheek. "Shh. It's ok now. I'm yours for good."
"I couldn't breathe without you. I don't think I was even alive. I was just ... there."
Tara kissed her again. "I'm sorry. I wish I could take it all back. I hate that you were hurting and I couldn't do anything."
"I have you now though? You're not gonna disappear?" Willow asked fearful of what could happen to her lover.
"I'm not going anywhere. No one can take me away. I promise you I'm back, ok?"
Willow nodded. "ok." She kissed her once more before they had to restrain themselves.
As they sat on the bed and faced one another with crossed legs their fingers interlocked.
"You ready?" Tara asked.
"Yeah, I have to hear this."
"Ok. Well... I got back to Sunnydale yesterday. I woke up in the cemetery. That was a little odd but I knew what had happened."
Willow's eyes opened wide in horror. "Oh god, you had to..?"
"No! No, I was on the grass not... I didn't have to get out of it." Tara tried to reassure but neither of them could even bring themselves to say the word 'coffin.'
Tara ran her thumb up and down Willow's hand in an attempt to comfort her as she continued.
"I don't think I started at the right place. The Powers That Be summoned me, spirit me, to tell me about the evil that's coming. It's going to be our biggest fight yet, that's why I'm back." She frowned. "Well, it's really why I died in the first place."
"What? Willow asked with anger tinting her voice.
"Will, you're special. You have so much potential. You got so powerful so quickly and I know you think that was all bad but your power is the only thing that can help us defeat what's coming."
Willow looked at the blonde like she was insane. "The 'power' I have is beyond useless. I do anything like spells and I'll lose myself again. Forever. You know what I did."
Tara nodded somberly. She knew of the murderous rampage Willow had taken. "I know. But there's more I have to explain, so you can understand."
When Willow gave her a silent go ahead she went on.
"The Powers know that your the key to beating what's coming but only if you could be strong enough to handle a lot more power in a short time. If you had naturally progressed then you would become stronger and more powerful over the next 20 years but they sped up the process."
"By taking you away." It wasn't so much a question as a statement.
"Yeah. They knew it was the only way to get you to that point."
"What point? They wanted me to become a murderer?" She asked in amazement.
"They needed you to be able to channel that much magick. When you took in all the dark magicks plus Giles' magick you should have died, no one should be able to hold that much power but the mix of good and evil meant you could. It's like you stretched yourself that far and now you can hold way more than anyone else." Tara said trying her best to explain.
Willow was now on her feet pacing frantically. "They want me to become her again? They can't!" Tara was now standing in front of the distraught woman with her hands on her shoulders. "Please, baby! I can't do it again."
Tara pulled Willow close and kissed her forehead. "Shh, it's ok. I won't let that happen to you again." After a few moments she pulled back to look Willow in the eyes. "Hey, I need you to be strong." Willow nodded a slight smile turned up the corners of her mouth.
"It won't be like last time. It'll be as much power but it'll be good. Pure and good. And I'll be right there with you to make sure." she promised.
Willow closed the small gap between them and rested her head on the blonde's shoulder. "I love you." she whispered.
Tara could only reply, "I need you so much closer."