Michonne's stomach rumbled so loudly that she had to chuckle. As she looked up at the fiery winter sky, she sighed and resumed the game she was playing with Carl as they checked traps. At this time of year the air was typically redolent with the aroma of baked apples, suburban chimney smoke, burning leaves, but the forest smelled of decay and death. Michonne vowed to find a way to conquer that by keeping Carl's mind occupied on something as silly as playing the "Last Dinner on Earth" game.
"Roasted chicken with a mountain of mashed potatoes, asparagus with hollandaise sauce and for dessert- crème brulee, "she said dreamily as she frowned at the empty snare.
She, Carl and Rick had been on the run since the Claimers' arrival at their 'home' necessitated them finding other shelter. Carl and Michonne tried to keep things light for the most part and Rick had even started to show his goofy side, but it hadn't been easy. Rabbits, squirrels and berries while keeping them alive, weren't enough. They had to find someplace; a house, an abandoned restaurant or cabin.
"Barbecued ribs, potato salad and then a Butterfinger Blizzard at DQ, "Carl offered as he walked beside his best friend. The waning sun played softly on his maturing face, through the nearly leaf-less branches of the trees.
"That was cruel, Carl. You know I love the DQ!"
They both laughed. Rick removed a family- sized rabbit from the snare and held it up triumphantly.
Rick smiled. "Tonight we dine- on RABBIT!"
"This is madness," Michonne said dramatically, holding her katana at her side.
" This...is...GEORGIA!" Carl chimed in. They'd been using movie quotes to pass the time and the movie "300" was a favorite. They all chuckled as Rick placed the dead rabbit in a burlap sack. Michonne searched the area for anything that could be used late in the season, to supplement their meal.
Finding mushrooms she was familiar with from foraging with her boyfriend so long ago when they'd been "foodies", Michonne went about harvesting them. Carl screwed up his face.
"Ugh. Mushrooms?"
"Only right since you taunted me with thoughts of a Butterfinger Blizzard. Why don't you try to find some wild onions, smart guy?" Michonne pushed Carl with a grin.
Rick stood watching his son and Michonne playfully scuffle and he couldn't help but smile. He felt lucky. especially graced to have this time with them. Michonne with all of her mystery and reluctance to share her past was the best thing to happen to him and Carl. She was a fierce warrior, but so patient and gentle with Carl that he had to struggle with the urge to hug her in gratitude. Was it only gratitude? Rick never had enough time to sort his feelings about anything; much less his feelings for the enigmatic woman Carl was starting to consider his surrogate mother and best friend.
He watched Michonne as she inspected each mushroom before gently blowing the dirt off, her full lips transfixing him, before she placed them in the sack that sat on her hip. Automatically, his eyes wandered. He always felt captivated by her slim, athletic, but unmistakably female form. He loved the feline grace of her walk, the way she wielded her katana, the way her eyes flashed when she spoke, her form-fitting clothes, her…
"Hey, you seeing thangs again?" Michonne asked gently.
Rick shook his head. Holy crap. He hadn't seen Lori for a good long while. He'd thought of her, but she hadn't appeared to him, as a reminder of what could go wrong, in so long that he'd almost forgotten that awful episode in his life. Michonne had helped bring him back. The moment she admitted to something as outrageous as seeing her dead boyfriend and talking to him, with her unwavering honesty, he knew that he could trust her with anything. She had never spoken to him with any expectations of an outcome; she just spoke the truth.
It had been different with Lori. With Lori, he had to carefully measure his words to avoid confrontation. He was always being judged, compared to other men. Now that he thought about it, he hadn't valued himself all that much. He placed so much importance on pleasing his wife because he loved her and that's what you do when you love someone; you show them. He loved waking up beside Lori, though. He liked being married. He had always loved her. There was a time when he only saw Lori; when making her smile was all he'd ever wanted. He'd done everything he could, but not everything that she'd wanted. Even after she betrayed him, he loved her. There was no mistaking both of their failings, but they both adored their son. Perhaps it was because of Carl that they tried to patch things up. Having a common obligation was no way to sustain a marriage. Lori always wanted more than he could give and sometimes Rick hadn't even known what it was that she wanted. She expected him to read her mind but never attempted to accommodate his needs, which were few.
But Michonne was happy when he found berries to satisfy her sweet tooth. She would savor each one and surprisingly, she would share with him and Carl. She didn't mind that Rick wasn't forthcoming about more than their tasks for the day. Michonne accepted Rick and was quick to acknowledge when Carl needed time to be a kid. They had a family unit without trying very hard to forge the union. There was something else there, though. He knew his feelings for Michonne weren't simply feelings of gratitude; he knew that she felt it too.
"No. No. Just thinking, "he lied. "Yeah, thinking about what it would feel like to finally have you in my arms," he thought. His neck immediately reddened and he shook his head, pretending to secure the already secure rabbit in his sack.
Michonne shrugged and continued her search. She could feel Rick's eyes on her back, but she didn't care. She was hungry and didn't want to acknowledge the wildness in his gaze. To be candid, she liked it, even if it caused her to feel something she'd promised herself she wouldn't.
Life with him was so normal, if she could use that word to describe living in a state of relentless looming danger, but it was as normal as things could get. They'd formed a little family. There was no artifice; they just spoke the unvarnished truth. They just accepted one another for who they were. They required few words which is something Michonne preferred. Words could complicate things, be misinterpreted and used against you. Still, there were some things that had not been said. She felt them and was sure Rick did as well. It would take time. She looked back at him over her shoulder and smiled.
"You think you can just snare us a varmint and that's it? Start looking for veggies!"
Rick slowly sauntered over to her with a sly look on his face.
"That's exactly what I think, woman."
Michonne stood up and wheeled around.
"Oh, really?"
They were face to face; inches apart. She could feel his breath on her face as she searched his eyes, mischievously. He grinned down at her. Rick's cerulean eyes bored into her and suddenly, the playfulness shifted to desire. Michonne could hear her heart beating in her ears, but she met his gaze.
"Yeah, really," was Rick's husky answer. He moved his face closer, tilting his head. He inhaled slowly and grasped her wrist gently. "What are you gonna do about it?"
In her peripheral vision, Michonne caught a glimpse of Carl approaching. She stepped closer to Rick, said, "I can show you better than tell ya!" and with her left leg, brought Rick to the ground. Carl came running.
"Nice move, Michonne!"
Michonne trembled as she helped Rick up. If she hadn't seen Carl, she wasn't sure what would have happened. She did want Rick to kiss her; to take her in his strong arms, lean her back and… easy girl.
She grabbed his hand and squeezed it. He smiled up at her, confused. As Michonne dusted the pine needles from Rick's clothes, she lingered on his backside, taking a second to give it a slap. He glanced over his shoulder at Michonne's devilish grin, her deep brown eyes sparkling.
Abruptly, the smile faded; her eyes instantly alert, scanning the terrain. They all heard it and drew their weapons. Wordlessly, the only sound coming from the crunch of dried leaves underfoot, they moved toward their camp, Michonne taking point. The walkers gained ground. The three stood back to back as six walkers approached.
"One for each of us, "Carl joked grimly, preparing to strike the approaching walker.
"I can handle them; we should really make your dad keep foraging, "Michonne said taking the head of two walkers with swift strikes of her katana, not a movement wasted.
Rick threw her a mock dirty look "Seriously, Michonne?" pushing a grotesquely thin walker away and stabbing a second in the head. Two more male walkers approached Carl. Michonne stabbed one through the chest, pivoted and beheaded the second. Carl, never outdone, dispatched another walker and finished off the walker Michonne had stabbed.
"I'm no forager, "Rick grunted, pulling his knife from the skull of the last walker.
Michonne shook her head and motioned for them to continue to their camp; nightfall was a short time away.
After eating, in the diminishing light, they sat around the fire in silence. Michonne and Rick sat on a log, Carl sat next to Michonne at her feet, resting his head against her thigh.
"You're right, Michonne. The 'shrooms weren't all that bad. "
"See? Life isn't all candy bars and chocolate pudding, y'know" she shoved him gently.
"Okay. ONE time I eat 112 ounces of pudding and it's all you talk about."
"With your father wasting away to nothin', "Rick pouted, "Barely alive."
Rick surprised himself when he made light of such a dire situation, but he was so completely happy in that moment, with Carl fully present and Michonne, well, being Michonne that he felt liberated.
"Aww, poor baby, "Michonne teased. "C'mere."
She pulled his head down to her lap and smoothed his hair.
"You okay now?"
Carl looked up at them, smiling.
Rick grinned foolishly and closed his eyes.
"Just fine."
Impulsively, Michonne leaned down and kissed his temple. Immediately regretting her decision, she pulled away. Determined not to waste a moment, Rick pulled her back to him and kissed her. The kiss was soft and slow. He felt no tension in her lips as he parted them with his tongue. She accepted his kiss with a shy sigh and although her locs provided a curtain of intimacy against Carl's eyes, she slowly pulled away from Rick.
Rick sat up quickly and looked at Carl who looked at both of them with a grin.
"About time, "he said leaning back against Michonne with an air of satisfaction.
Rick snorted and looked at Michonne. Michonne gave him a thin smile and tapped Carl's shoulder, indicating that she wanted to stand up. As she rose, she looked down at Carl and he knew what to do. He stood up slowly, ready to draw his weapon. Rick placed his fingers around his gun and watched her as she walked away with her katana. She looked back over her shoulder and held her finger to her lips for them to be quiet.
"Walkers, the perfect cock blockers, "Rick thought as he drew his weapon and followed MIchonne.
Michonne inched closer to the source of the noise, Rick and Carl close behind.
"Hey, I thought I smelled rabbit and thought y'all could use a little squirrel."
Daryl Dixon grinned at them in the darkness, holding a brace of dead squirrels.
Michonne punched his shoulder in welcome and Carl led them all back to camp.
"Man, I thought I'd never find you, "Daryl sat down on a log and proceeded to clean and dress the squirrels as he spoke. "Been trackin' ya for a coupla days now."
"Well, we're glad you found us. Good to see ya, brother."
Daryl looked at Carl and smiled knowingly, "You're the one tellin' the story, man."
Rick's face reddened. "How long have you been watching us?"
Daryl remained silent as he prepared the squirrels for roasting over the fire.
"Long enough, I expect."
He looked over at Rick and smiled. "You guys would starve without me. Snare or not."
"You know if anyone else got out?" Michonne wanted to change the subject. She prayed that Judith, Tyrese, Carol and the rest were alive. She poured him what was left of the pine needle tea, which wasn't as bad as it looked. Or smelled.
Accepting the cup with a nod, Daryl shrugged. "I was with Beth for a bit and then we got separated. She's gone, but I can't say she's dead. Dudn't feel like it, y'know? The others…not sure."
Carl looked away and Michonne called him to her. "Let's you and me find some more fire wood, huh?"
Relieved that he wouldn't have to cry in front of the men, Carl picked up his weapon and walked with Michonne into the night.
"You ain't gonna tell 'em to be careful?" Daryl asked, watching Rick watch Michonne. "I am truly amazed, Rick."
Rick's gaze never left the space where Michonne had stood moments before.
"Ah, y'know, Carl's getting older and more responsible and Michonne…" Rick trailed off, looking down at his hands. Gosh, but they were filthy. He was filthy.
"There's a creek another mile or two east. Maybe there'll be some abandoned dwellings, too, "Daryl offered.
Rick was no longer surprised when Daryl answered Rick's unarticulated questions. He felt a comfort in it. They sat in a companionable silence, while Daryl's squirrels roasted, enjoying their quiet brotherhood until Carl and Michonne returned grinning like they'd won the lottery.
"What is it?" Daryl asked, eager to know what mischief the two of them had managed to create in such a short time and with so little.
They held up a two heavy rucksacks and a shotgun.
"What in the …?" Rick stood up.
Carl was breathless and stammering, "Okay. Okay…so, when we went looking for firewood, we heard something, right? Okay, okay…"
"Carl, you're killing me. Take a couple deep breaths." Michonne laughed.
The boy complied and relaxed with each breath.
"Okay, so basically we found an abandoned camp- well, not exactly abandoned. There were-"
"Walkers. Two of them and Carl took care of them for me because I was too busy looking through the rucksacks to notice, "Michonne finished giving Rick a barely perceptible wink.
"This is why I don't like you going off alone. Always take someone with you, "Rick admonished.
Carl looked at Daryl who simply shrugged and said, "What else did you expect, Rick? The kid's been handlin' himself for a long time now. He ain't no slouch."
Carl dropped the rucksack and carefully removed the contents and placed them near the fire pit for closer inspection. For their trouble, in the first rucksack they'd found a box of Ohio blue tip matches, a paperback book, a razor, a bar of soap, cans of beans and a bag of stale fruit leather along with assorted socks, thermal underwear and shirts. In the second, cans of tuna, powdered milk, instant coffee and more clothing, none of which would fit Michonne or Carl.
Rick proffered a roasted squirrel to Daryl and he ate it in silence, watching Michonne as she held up each item of clothing.
"Dibs on the socks, "Daryl said between bites of the squirrel.
"I can make this work, "Michonne said trying on a flannel shirt. She moved into the shadows and removed her other garments save for her bra and jeans. The shirt smelled clean and she regretted putting it on a body not fully bathed in 4 days. It was 3 sizes too big, but she didn't care. She came back to join the others and found them suppressing smiles. Michonne looked down at herself and had to admit that she looked like she was wearing a flannel maternity dress.
"Aw, nah…ain't she cute?" Daryl laughed.
Michonne said nothing and plopped down between him and Carl. Carl leaned against her, yawned and was snoring almost immediately. Daryl removed his poncho and handed it to Michonne to place over the boy.
"Gotta take a piss, "was all he said as he rose to walk away.
Michonne shifted so Carl could lie down and placed some wadded up clothes under his head for a pillow. His face was so soft and calm when he first fell asleep. She saw more of the boy then and she loved to look at him, count the freckles, and memorize his face as it was in that moment. Even though she was as happy and secure as she could be under the circumstances, she knew that it could all change with one misjudgment, the one time she let her guard down, so she allowed herself this singular luxury and savored the moment.
"I don't see my little boy anymore, "Rick murmured as he slid down next to Michonne.
"Oh, but I do, "Michonne whispered. "Maybe I'm the only one who can see it because I didn't know him when he was a little boy. Maybe I just see what I want to see. At least I'm seeing people who are really here, right?"
She looked into the fire, smiling.
"I hear that, "Rick laughed. "It's something you can't explain to many people."
"Hell, you don't want to explain it to anyone. You already think you're crazy, so why give someone else the opportunity to confirm it?" Michonne slid her hand underneath Rick's so that his palm rested on the back of her hand and she bounced his hand up and down, just being in contact with his skin was enough. It was a shy, innocent move and Rick was perfectly happy to feel the surprisingly soft skin of her hand against the calloused palm of his.
"Hey. I wanna ask you something," Rick whispered, looking at their hands.
"Yup," Michonne continued to bounce their hands distractedly.
"You wanna be my girl?"
They both broke out in a fit of laughter that slowly subsided as Michonne put her head on Rick's shoulder. He kissed her forehead and they sat like that for a half an hour, an utterly happy cuddle in silence. As much as he wanted her, Rick realized that it wasn't wholly lust that he felt for the woman in his arms and he finally relaxed for the first time in months. For her part, Michonne didn't feel that she was on alert, for the first time in a long time, she felt protected and she snuggled closer. Rick pulled away from her gently and took her face in his hands. They kissed, Michonne running her fingers through Rick's hair, pulling him closer to her. She bit his lower lip as Rick slid his hand under her shirt.
"Hey, you never said 'yes'," Rick murmured into her ear before he kissed her neck.
"'I'm letting you get to second base, aren't I?" Michonne moaned softly.
"I could never remember the bases. Is this second or third?"
And then Daryl approached them.
"About time, "he said as he plopped down on the other side of the fire pit. "That's second base; worse than high school kids."
Rick removed his hand from under Michonne's over-sized shirt, and instead wrapped his arms around her; why fight it when everyone they know has already accepted it?
Daryl proceeded to make his bed for the night, got comfortable, draped his forearm over his eyes and as he did so, said, "I seen that camp Carl and 'Chonne seen. It's cleaned up. If you two wanna see if there's anything left, I'm cool."
Michonne and Rick exchanged a hopeful look and then Daryl added, "But Grimes, I'm tellin' ya, I want that tent door OPEN, y'hear me?" The firelight shone on Daryl's smiling face as they nearly ran past him.
"About time,"he muttered again before turning on his side so he could face where Carl was sleeping.