Not really sure why I wrote this, but I did, obviously.
Enjoy!
Any questions...Just ask.
This is rated M because it's a bit dark.
In simplest terms, they were best friends. They shared a bond that wasn't explainable, and they loved each other with a love that wasn't seen too often. They had seen each other at their lowest lows and highest highs. They knew each other like the back of their own hands, only better.
But if you wanted to dive deeper into their relationship, you'd find the dirty details. You'd find things that would make you cringe. You'd see the holes that somehow kept them together.
But most people only looked at it in simplest terms, not wanting to take the time to understand.
So let me take you down to their darkest days, and their coldest nights, in hopes of you understanding the complicated love between the three friends.
There were two boys and a girl, all completely confused at the thought of life, but they hid it well. The girl hid behind her bible and her superiority, trying to make sense of the world that had just recently flipped her over on her back. The slightly feminine boy hid behind his jokes and baggy clothing, wanting to be something that he wasn't, silently hating himself. And then there was the boy who wore dark clothing, who hid behind his saracastic jokes and his cynical suggestions, keeping every feeling bottled up inside of his troubled soul.
They seemed normal and average and ordinary, nothing special. In the land of fruitloops, they were the cheerios, just trying to blend into the tipsy-topsy place that we call Earth. Peers over-looked them, seeing them as outcasts, seeing them as freaks. But they weren't, they just had no idea who they were and found it easier to not speak, to not give anything away.
Even though they were different, they still had one thing in common: They didn't feel human. They felt disconnected and odd, as if they hadn't shown up to their own life. Like, their whole life was an out-of-body experience. They weren't depressed, but they weren't living.
They were wallflowers who were waiting to bloom and to become the beautiful flower that they were.
Though, it was hard to bloom when you didn't feel beautiful.
The boy in dark clothing (His name was Eli, for future reference) was often considered their savior. He had gotten them out of several black holes and continued to do just that. Eli was like their own personal superman, swooping in at their times of need, always saving the day, even if it ended with him hurting. He was the type to be in your life, no matter what. Once he was involved in your life, he was their for good, no take backs. He was their stability in the roughest storm, always in back of them to catch their falling souls.
Eli was there for the slightly feminine boy(His name was Adam, this is for future reference too.) when he hated himself with an unhealthy passion. Adam was born in the wrong body. He was in the mind of a guy but body of a girl, which was looked down upon by quite a few people.
"Eli, you don't understand! They hate me. Most of them want me dead!" Tears went down his face, the face that he despised, the face the held the feminine qualities that he so badly wanted to get rid of.
"So?"
"What do you mean 'so'?" Adam was now getting angry, was Eli choosing now to become insensitive?
"I mean exactly what I said. So? They hate you. Some people hate and some people love. You can only choose what you do." Eli said matter-of-factly, looking at Adam in the eyes.
"Oh, thank you for your wise words. They really help." Adam snapped saracastically, making the other boy smirk slightly.
"I'm just saying that you don't have to hate yourself, other people can do that." Eli said, standing up and stretching. "And if it makes you feel any better...I think that you're a pretty fucking cool guy."
Eli gave him one last smile before walking out of the room, leaving Adam to ponder his words.
That's when Adam truly bloomed, realizing that he didn't have to hate himself, he didn't have to despise his situation. And for the first time in years, Adam smiled, knowing that he was as beautiful as Eli thought he was.
He was pretty fucking cool guy.
And he would never forget it.
And then, there was Clare. Clare liked people to think that she was in control, when really, she was heading into a downward spiral of chaos. Her Catholic parents had gotten a divorce, leaving her to question her faith. Her sister never kept in touch, even though she promised that she would, and that made Clare feel even more alone than ever.
But then came Eli and Adam, her two knights in shining armor. Adam had become the one that would hold as she cried, and vice versa. And Eli had become her lover, taking her heart with him wherever he went. He made her feel special and lovely, when she felt ugly and gross. She trusted him with everything, leaving no room for secrets and lies. Eli was that person that people searched days on end for, and she was holding his hand.
"You wouldn't leave me, right?" Clare had begun to question everything in her life. If something as permaneant as a family could fall apart, so could a relationship with a boy.
"And why would you say that?" Eli smiled slightly, looking at her as if she was out of her mind, but somehow keeping the pure love in his eyes.
"I'm just...I'm scared...I'm scared that someday you'll realize that I'm not good enough for you. I fear that one day you're going to see a beautiful girl and-"
"Clare?" Eli's voice was soft and tender, as if speaking to a child.
Clare looked down and then felt Eli's pointer finger lift her chin up. He looked into her eyes and brushed the few tears away with his thumb, gently kissing her on the cheek.
"No one is as beautiful as you, Clare. Don't ever forget that."
And she wouldn't. Not with the way he looked at her and kissed her forehead delicately. Not with the way he would laugh at the weird things that came out of her mouth.
She was told that she was beautiful. And for the first time in her life, she believed it.
Now, the pretty fucking cool guy and the beautiful girl sat in the hospital waiting room. They sat side-by-side on the clean white tiled floor. Her head rested on the boys shoulder and their hands were tangled together in a mess of flesh. For the first time in forty-eight hours, they were sleeping. Light snoring came from the boy and shallow sighs came from the girl.
It was scary to hear that your best friend and lover was in the hospital due to an attepted suicide.
Three days ago, Clare was at a church retreat with her father. Clare was about to step into the warm lake when she got a call from CeCe.
Clare's heart had never hurt more in her life. The ice that filled her stomach when she heard the news was enough for her to have a breakdown (Which she later on did have.) She felt the bile rising every time that she thought about what could have happened. He could have died. He could have never smirked again or made fun of her innocent ways. He could have never been again.
Maybe if she didn't go to that retreat he wouldn't have done this.
And just those thoughts were enough to make her body ache in terrible pain.
So to keep away those thoughts, she closed her eyes and let sleep claim her, hoping that her lover was at least a little bit happier.
Adam had been on a camping trip with his family. He too had gotten a call from CeCe.
His father had always told him that only pansies cried, and for the longest time, Adam believed that. But when he first arrived at the hospital he realized that crying for something like this didn't make you a pansy. It truly didn't.
In these odd type of situations, Adam's mind always went blank. He wasn't sure what to feel. Was he supposed to feel sad that his friend felt depressed enough to do that? Or was he supposed to feel happy that he didn't die?
He had mixed emotions. But only one feeling remained strong. Guilt.
He shouldn't have left Eli alone, he was a horrible friend.
If Eli had died, it would have been his fault.
To forget those thoughts, he followed Clare's lead and let sleep claim him, hoping that his best friend was feeling a little bit better.
About an hour later, CeCe had woken the two up and told them that Eli was asking for them.
Adam and Clare looked at each other, coming to an agreement, no matter what Eli told them, they would stay by his side, like he did theirs.
Eli had made them become. He made them live to their potential and beyond. He raised the bar for them, knowing that they could easily jump past their expectations of themselves. Eli made them feel human, as if the finally showed up to their own life. He flipped Clare back over onto her feet and he had Adam believe in himself. He made them feel alive. He made them bloom into the flowers that they were.
And now it was Eli's turn.
They would help him become the flower that he was.
It's honestly too late for me to say if I liked it.
Review?