This fanfic was brought to you today by the word "legs". Lets go back to my place and spread the word.

Fan: a stalker waiting to happen.

DOUBLE RAINBOW ALL THE WAY!

"What the.."

Judai squinted at the computer screen, trying to see if what he saw written on there was actually there and not a bunch of dirt smudges.

Not that he never used Windex or anything.

Hmmm? What seems to be the problem Judai? blinked Yubel as she materialized into existence. She floated by his side for a bit before peering at the brightly lit computer screen.

"These stories," muttered Judai. "They keep portraying me as a powerless weakling who depends on others for help. That doesn't make any sense at all."

Yubel snorted, Oh really? Could have sworn that it was the other way around.

"Bel-"

Yubel cut him off. Anyway, it can't be that ba-

She blinked a bit once she got a closer look at the screen, rubbed her eyes (excluding the third one), and stared some more. Judai glanced at her, wondering if she finally realized just how awful the stuff he had been reading a few minutes ago was.

Judai?

"Yes?"

If we ever meet any of these people, I am going to castrate them no matter what you say.

"Actually, I don't think I would mind so much. What are you going to do about the other ones."

Yubel gasped. There are vile lies more horrible than these?

"Yep," Judai affirmed. "In fact, I can't tell what's worse: the ones where my parents are drunken idiots and abuse me, or the ones where Johan rapes me and we fall in love."

...What.

Judai had never seen Yubel this speechless before, usually she had some sort of snarky comeback or witty remark. Now she just seemed...brainbroken. He decided that a change of subject was in order.

"Bel, I think that we should show these so-called authors exactly what happens when they mess with Haou and Bel." Judai laughed a little before doing his Gotcha! pose at the screen.

I thought that we already agreed on castrating the whole miserable lot. It would be horrible if their kind were to breed. Their children might inherit their stupidity.

"That too, but I think I have an even better idea."

ORENOTURNORENOTURNORENOTURNORENOTURNORENOTURNORENOTURNORENOTURNORENOTURNORENOTURNORENOTURNORENOTURNORENOTURNORENOTURNORENOTURNORENOTURN

[In Johan's basement far far away...Also TIMESKIP AHOY!]

"Noooo!" squealed a preteen writer. "How could you Jaden!"

"...My name is Judai." sighed...Judai.

"Why?" wailed another. "Make it stop!"

"I knew that ad was fake! Only someone EEEEEVIIIIIIILLLLLLL would write on Facebook, Johan Anderson and Yuki Judai are going to have awesome buttsex at Johan's house. Badfic authors invited. , without any spelling errors!" cried another while sobbing giant blue tears of betrayal.

Oh shut up, you pathetic fools are going to watch EVERY episode of Yu-Gi-Oh! GX SUBBED and you are going to UNDERSTAND it. snapped Yubel, who was getting more irritated every second. This wouldn't be as satisfying as gutting out their entrails with her bare claws, but at least it would have a positive result. Well, at least she hoped it did.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" About twenty different women and girls were tied to armchairs and sofas with a combination of DAAAAARRRKUUUUNESSSSS tendrils, thorny vines and rainbow colored jump-rope. Said females were also screaming as though they had been chained to a rabid dog instead of worn plush upholstery. Their ages ranged from 14 to their mid-thirtys. Nearby Judai was frowning at them, Johan was upstairs making some popcorn and Yubel glared at them until they felt like their faces would burn off from the intensity of Yubel's DESU eyes.

"This would is considered abuse in my AU!" moaned a fujoshi. "It's even worse than being beaten up by a drunkard armed with only a beer bottle!"

"That reminds me..." Judai took out his cell phone, punched in a few buttons and held it to his ear. "Dr. Zweinstein? It's Judai. Do you think you could send Taniya over to Norway for a sparring match?"

Indistinct babbling came out of the phone. Judai blinked, partly in surprise and in amusement.

"Uh, sure. Misawa-chi can come, too."

Yubel blinked again for possibly the fifth time. ...Who?

This fic is a tribute to the badfic authors who castrate Spiritshipping in a way that's more horrible than what Yubel would do to them. (This also includes those who have claimed to watch the show, when in reality, the most they've seen is a poorly made JadenxJesseLOLSOSWEET!AMV on youtube. And on low quality, too.)

Disclaimer: I don't own GX. Duh.

BRIDGESHIPPING ALL THE WAY. SO INTENSE! WHAT DOES IT MEAN?

(Good JudaiJohan fics that's what. -.-" Hopefully.)