Chapter 1: Once Upon a Time
In which Lovino wears a dress.
~o~
Once upon a time, there was a kingdom far, far away. This kingdom was ruled by a man named Grandpa Rome. Grandpa Rome had a beautiful daughter (son), and they were happy. But one day, the great king felt that his time was running out. Thus he decided to marry a person who could take care of his little Lovino until the child was old enough to rule the kingdom. That person was named Feliks.
It was one year after the marriage of Rome and Feliks that Grandpa Rome passed away, and Lovino was left under the care of his new "stepmother". There was just one problem: the two didn't get along one single bit.
"You should totally go clean your room!" Feliks would say, sitting in his throne and giving himself a manicure.
"Don't wanna," Lovino would reply.
At this, Feliks let the guards take him up to his room. Lovino however, did not want to go down without a fight. He picked up the tomato he was eating and threw it straight at Felik's face. He was already pissed enough about having to wear women's clothes, dammit! (Whenever he had tried asking why, Grandpa Rome had just picked up a new topic, always evading the question). At this, the other let out an indignant scream.
"Like, you totally ruined my new outfit! You're going to pay for this! No food for you tonight!" Feliks whined.
"No way!" Lovino shouted back, horrified.
Having to go without dinner was way worse than some stupid cleaning. The guards brought him to his room, where he threw himself upon his bed, pouting. "Stupid bastard…when I'm king, I'll show him…"
Lovino did not know a worse fate was awaiting him. While he was sulking, Feliks had taken a bath, and after putting on a nice dress (from his secret collection), he entered a hidden room under the castle. There, Feliks had stored away his most prized possession, a magic mirror, that could only tell the truth. Feliks positioned himself in front of the mirror, one hand on his hip, and spoke the words: "Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the most fabulous of them all?"
In the mirror, the visage of a woman became clear. "Good afternoon, master," Elizabeta spoke. She re-adjusted her dress before she continued. "To answer your question; you look gorgeous darling! Nobody's more fabulous than you."
"Awww, thanks! You always know what to say!" Feliks tittered, blushing at the compliments but beaming with self-confidence.
He and Elizabeta had a little chitchat about an outlet in one of their favourite stores, before Feliks sent her away and made his way back up the stairs. He was the most beautiful of the entire kingdom, and nobody could deny it! At least, not if they didn't want to be crushed under the weight of his rocket-driven country.
~o~
While Feliks was paying a visit to his mirror, Lovino had snuck out of his room and was now heading towards the vegetable garden. There had to be some nice tomatoes over there to satisfy his tummy! The Italian whistled his Delicious Tomato song while kneeling down to look at the tomatoes. Ah, they were just perfect! He didn't notice that a stranger had stopped at the gates of the castle's gardens. This visitor had heard someone whistle, and the sound had drawn him in. A man named Antonio opened the gate and snuck up to the unknowing Lovino, who was happily picking his favourite fruit/vegetable. (Seriously though, has it been decided yet under which category it falls?)
Lovino felt a presence behind him, and glanced over his shoulder. "What the hell are you doing here, you bastard?!" he shrieked.
The other jumped a little, and then put his hands up in an apologetic gesture. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you!"
But Lovino had already begun throwing tomatoes at him. "Get the fuck out!"
Antonio shielded his head with his arms, and kept talking. "I'm really sorry! It's just that I heard you whistle and it was the most beautiful sound I had ever heard!"
At this, Lovino stopped the attack. He blushed a little, and was suddenly very aware that he was wearing a dress. Why on earth did that stupid good-for-nothing grandfather and son-of-a-bitch Feliks have to make him wear women's clothing?
"That's still no excuse for you to enter private property!" Lovino snapped, hiding his embarrassment.
Antonio smiled, happy that the other was no longer throwing tomatoes at him. "I just couldn't help myself. Would you please tell me your name, my angel?"
"Shut up!" Lovino spat out, his face heating up even more.
This man was very strange, and yet, in a weird way, charming. Lovino had no idea how to deal with him. The only option was making him leave. So this time, he prepared himself to throw the biggest tomato in his arsenal at the intruder. Before he could throw it though, the intruder grabbed his arm.
"This tomato is far too beautiful to be thrown at some random guy!" he said.
Lovino paused. So the guy liked tomatoes, huh? Interesting.
"What do you know about it?"
"I only know that a tomato this big has to be given a lot of love."
Antonio looked up innocently, his eyes sparkling and his lips slightly curled into a cute smile. Lovino felt his heart speeding up. Even though he was an intruder, a man that loved tomatoes this much couldn't be a bad person. On the other hand…
The Italian lifted up the tomato and shoved it in Antonio's face.
"Now get out, you tomato bastard!" He pushed him to the gate, and then locked it from the inside. Before he could turn around, a hand grabbed his wrist.
"Wait! I still don't know your name!"
Geez, this guy just didn't know when to give up, did he?
"It's Lovino," he muttered, before pulling away his arm and racing back to the castle.
When he turned around the corner, he pushed himself against the wall and placed a hand on his heart, which was beating at a thousand miles an hour by now. His face had to be as red as the tomato he had just wasted on the weirdo. Lovino completely forgot the fact that he wouldn't be having any dinner tonight.