So it's been awhile since I've posted anything on this site. Recently, I had ideas for several Kickin It fanfics but I really only wanted to post one. I started writing one but when I got to the third chapter, I lost interest so I decided to go with this one instead. I hope you like it.
Disclaimer: I do not own Kickin It
Three hours and 28 minutes ago. That was the last time that Kim had felt any form of emotion. Because three hours and 27 minutes ago, everything had come crashing down all at once and she was left standing in the wreckage, trying to make sense of what happened. Although she knew that there was nothing that she could have done to prevent the incident, she hoped to find some way to blame herself. Guilt was better than nothing at all, right? But it didn't work because she was still pinching herself to make sure she wasn't completely numb.
The million thoughts racing in her mind were interrupted by the sound of her phone ringing for the billionth time. She had been at the dojo when she received the news and her abrupt and unexplained departure had worried the guys, Jack especially, enough for them to be calling and texting her nonstop, asking if she was alright. The answer of course was no, but she wasn't about to tell them that.
Not bothering to see who it was, Kim hit ignore and shoved her phone in her desk drawer before heading downstairs. From the looks of it, her family wasn't doing any better than she was. Her mom was sitting at the kitchen table staring off into space, while her seven year old brother, Brandon kept his eyes glued to a television screen that wasn't on. Neither of them even glanced at her as she walked by them and out the front door.
"Kim?"
It had been so quiet in the house that the mere mention of her name was enough to cause her to fall back in surprise. But before she could hit the ground, the owner of the voice grabbed her hand and pulled her upright.
"You okay?" He asked.
"Yeah…thanks, Milton." She stared down at her feet and awkwardly rubbed her arm.
Milton wasn't convinced. "Are you sure?"
"Yes," she replied, "You just surprised me is all."
"I wasn't talking about that. What happened? Why aren't you answering any of our calls?"
"It's only been a few hours since I left the dojo. Why is everyone freaking out?" She snapped.
"I don't know. It's just- you left so suddenly after that phone call and then you weren't answering us. It shouldn't be too odd to assume that something's up. Did it have to do with the call?" When Kim didn't answer, Milton continued, "Jack's really worried, you know."
"Well tell him I'm fine." Before Milton could say anything else, Kim went back inside and slammed the door. She wasn't sure why, but her conversation with Milton had triggered some emotions, and while she still couldn't cry, she was definitely depressed. She stood there with her back against the door for awhile as she replayed the events from that afternoon in her head. Milton had been right to suspect that the phone call was the reason for her taking off. But she wasn't ready to tell him what happened. He would probably see it on the news that night anyways. After all, a shooting was a rare occurrence in Seaford.
The incident had been really unexpected as the gunman was a young man who had worked alongside her father for quite awhile now and was very well-liked. But for whatever reason, he had come to work armed and began shooting, killing two people, one of them being her father, before turning the gun on himself. All of this had apparently happened an hour before Kim got the frantic call from her mother. An hour she spent having fun while her father was dead.
Kim knew that it was only a matter of time before her friends or their parents turned on the news and started showing up at the door, offering their condolences or something like that, so she went back upstairs. When the 10:00 news came on, the phone began to ring off the hook. Her mother answered it the first couple of times, but eventually, she just unplugged it. Kim opened her desk drawer to see that her own phone had been bombarded with messages. They all said pretty much the same thing, asking how she was holding up, saying they were sorry even though they had no reason to be. The only one who should be sorry was the man who pulled the trigger.
For the first time that night, Kim thought of the other family that was going through the same thing. Emmitt Daley, who was in the AV club with Milton, had lost his own father in the ordeal. She wondered if his family was like hers right now, each of them left to deal with it in their own way. Or maybe they were all sitting together, sharing memories and helping each other through this horrible tragedy. Either way, she knew exactly how they were feeling and she wished for the pain to be taken away from that family as well as her own. None of them deserved this.
Then her mind shifted to Randy Plotski and how he was, as the gunman happened to be his older half-brother, Joe. She knew deep down that Randy had nothing to do with the shooting. He and his brother didn't even live in the same house. But she couldn't help but feel angry at him and his family. Couldn't they have done something to prevent what happened today? You had to be mentally ill to take the lives of two innocent fathers for no reason at all. There had to have been some signs, right? But her anger at Randy soon faded. It wasn't his fault. He had no way of knowing the current status of his brother's mental health. Plus, he had lost someone too. Even though what Joe had done was unforgiveable, he was still Randy's brother. The Plotskis had to deal with the pain of losing him as well as take responsibility for the immense grief that he had caused for two other families. Kim couldn't even begin to imagine how that must feel.
She still couldn't believe that Joe Plotski had been the one to do this. He had come over for dinner a couple of times. He always seemed so nice. Never in a million years would she have guessed that he would kill anyone. But he had. It was almost like he had launched a bomb and ran off, not bothering to stick around and see the damage he had left behind. And there was a lot.
For the next few days, the guys made sure to keep their distance, for fear of saying or doing anything that might upset her more, which was probably a good idea on Jerry's part. Jack had made a few attempts to get through to her but Kim wasn't having it. The actual effects of the shooting had finally hit her the day after and she had spent a lot of that day crying, which was more reason for Jack to worry and more reason for her to avoid him. But after that day, she realized that crying wasn't going to help and since her mom and brother were still practically zombies, she was going to have to be strong. And to do that, she had to begin internalizing any of the anger or sadness that she might have. She managed to drag herself to school and started making the meals at home. It seemed to help her family out a little and convince her friends that she was doing better, but it was only making things worse for her as the feelings continued to build up.
It wasn't long before the day of the funeral arrived and it was really starting to get to her. She tried to maintain her calm composure as she got ready but she could already feel the tears starting to form in her eyes. She was one second away from completely losing it when she heard a small voice.
"Kim?"
She wiped her eyes and turned to see Brandon, standing in the doorway of the bathroom and struggling with his tie. She knelt down in front of him and began fixing it.
"Is it going to be sad there?" he asked.
Kim finished with his tie and let out a big sigh before giving him a small smile. "Yeah, it is. But we've got to go for Dad, okay?"
"Okay," he muttered. "Will I have to talk to people?"
Kim grabbed a comb off the counter and ran it through her brother's hair as she answered. "Probably. But don't worry about it. It'll be over before you know it."
She set the comb down and they both exited the bathroom and headed downstairs. Kim took notice of her aunt, who was doing her best to comfort her mother. Brandon seemed to be focusing on the same thing because he suddenly seemed a little more upset. Kim tried to give him a reassuring smile but it was hard when she herself wasn't convinced that things would soon get better.
The car ride felt like forever but the Crawfords eventually came to a stop at the funeral home, where Kim could see the Brewers getting out of their car nearby. She tried to walk past them unnoticed, which didn't work out too well as she immediately felt a pair of arms tightly wrap around her. Mrs. Brewer finally released her and went to hug the rest of her family. Kim soon found herself only a couple feet away from her boyfriend, whom she had been trying to stay away from as much as possible these past few days. She quickly looked at the ground in an attempt to avoid eye contact.
"How are you doing?" he asked.
She decided to look up in order to make her next words more believable. "Great. I'm doing just great."
"Kim, you're a horrible liar," he stated. "Come on. You don't have to pretend you're okay because I know you aren't."
"I mean it Jack. I'm fine!" She insisted. Not wanting to continue this argument, she walked away from him and headed inside.
The service wasn't as horrible as she imagined it would be. In fact, she found herself smiling at some of the stories that people shared about her father. When it was her turn to speak, she was ready to begin the long speech she had rehearsed the night before. But when she went up to the podium and saw all of those people staring back at her, she changed her mind, deciding that some of those things would best be kept between her and her father. So instead, she just shared a couple of her own stories, which even managed to get a grin out of her mother, something she didn't think she could have achieved in her original speech.
It wasn't until the very end, when she watched the casket get lowered into the ground that she remembered all of the hurt that she was still storing in the back of her mind. She closed her eyes and tried to push them back further. Suddenly, her hand was in somebody else's. She opened her eyes to see that Jack was now standing beside her, giving her a smile that was much better than the one she had given Brandon earlier that day. She smiled back at him, and all that pain in her mind was forgotten. For now.
If Kim had thought before that the funeral would somehow bring everyone together, she was very wrong. In fact, it only seemed to make things worse. The moment they got home, her mom headed straight to her bedroom and didn't come out for the rest of the day and Brandon went to watch TV, which was all he did the next day too. Kim knew that there was no way she could talk to her mom when she was like this but she could try with her brother. She walked into the living room and muted the TV.
"Hey! Give it back!" Brandon exclaimed, grabbing for the remote.
Kim held it above her head where he couldn't reach it. "Not yet. Have you finished your homework?"
He groaned. "No. But Ms. Abbott doesn't care. She said for me to do it when I'm ready."
"And when will that be?"
"I don't know!" Brandon threw his hands in the air in frustration. "I don't know when I'll be ready but for now, can you just leave me alone?!"
Kim stood there for a moment, a little fazed from his outburst, but ultimately, she gave in and tossed him the remote. The interaction made her angry at both Brandon, for being rude, and the gunman for causing all of this but she knew that she couldn't let it out. Not with her mother crying in the other room. Someone needed to stay calm. Someone needed to make dinner so they didn't accidentally starve themselves. And based on what Kim was seeing right now, that someone had to be her. Too worn out to cook, Kim heated up a few leftovers from the past few nights and called for the other two. They entered the kitchen, acknowledged Kim with a quick nod and left after a couple of bites. Kim sighed and cleaned up after them, wondering if this was how it was going to be every day.
The next morning, she was actually glad to go to school, which was different for her since it was Monday. But she had to get out of the house. Taking care of everything at home had made the whole "keeping everything inside" plan a lot harder. She needed a place where she could take a break from all the stress and right now, going to school was the closest she could get.
She could tell that people were watching as she walked into the building. It had been a week, but kids were still talking about the shooting, which meant that they were talking about her too. She was soon joined by Milton, who had finally started coming near her again when he realized that she wasn't going to flip him every time he spoke to her.
"Could you just back off? I didn't do anything wrong!"
"How do I know you won't go and shoot up the school, freak? You're probably just as sick in the head as your brother!"
Kim turned and saw that Randy was being pushed around by a guy she didn't recognize. "Be right back," she muttered to Milton before storming towards them. She pulled the guy away. "What do you think you're doing?"
"What do you think you're doing," he retorted. "His brother killed your dad, right?"
"And Randy did what exactly?" Kim questioned, tightening the grip she still had on his arm.
The guy seemed to be at a loss for words. "He um. He… I don't know."
"I thought so." Kim let go of his arm. "And besides, what business do you have, beating him up over something his brother did? Something that doesn't even involve you?"
"I'm sorry. I just…I…"
Kim gave him a threatening look. "You just what?"
"I…I'll leave." He turned to Randy. "Sorry," he mumbled before running off.
Kim walked back over to Milton, leaving behind a very shocked Randy. He wasn't the only one who was surprised. If anyone else hadn't been looking at her before, they definitely were now. She didn't blame them. Who would've expected Kim Crawford to come to the rescue of the guy whose brother killed her dad? Not even her friends could have seen that coming. But none of them said anything, a little afraid of how she might react if they did. She might've even forgotten about it too if Randy hadn't approached her about it later.
She was at her locker, grabbing her books to take home when he came up to her. "Hey. Thanks for standing up for me today. I really appreciate that and I totally owe you."
Kim closed her locker and turned to face him. "It was no big deal, don't worry about it." She started to walk away but he followed her.
"Look. I know that there's no way that I can make it up to you for what my brother did. But is there anything that I can do to make things even just a little bit better?"
"No, I'll be fine. But thanks," she replied before walking off again.
When she got home after spending the afternoon at the dojo, she wasn't surprised to see that the other two were back at their usual stations. They still went to work and school, which was good but Kim was a little concerned about her mom's frequent fake sick days and Brandon's unfinished homework. But knowing that they wouldn't listen to her, she put her focus on preparing dinner. She looked in the pantry for spaghetti and didn't see any but then remembered that there were several boxes stored in the basement.
As she walked down the basement stairs, she caught sight of the dominoes. Recently, her father had brought home a big box of them and had her help him set them up. Whenever they'd run out, he would just buy more. They were now up to almost 300 dominoes. Yes, they had fallen down countless times but after a moment of frustration, they just started putting them back up. It was exactly the way they had left it, the night before he died, and it looked pretty good. Spaghetti forgotten, Kim grabbed an unopened package of dominoes and added them on. She spent the rest of the night down there, continuing the line of dominoes because right now, it was the only connection she had to her father. When she finally went back upstairs because she had run out, the other two were already in bed. She wondered if they even noticed that she was in the basement all that time.
After school the next day, she skipped out on going to the dojo and instead went to the store for more dominoes. She spent the rest of the week down there, setting them up. The pain of her father's death was becoming more and more overwhelming but she continued to ignore it. She had given up on getting through to her family. They barely even noticed her anymore. She stopped making dinner for them, too. Instead, they just made something from the fridge whenever they were hungry, which wasn't very often.
The guys seemed to notice that there was a little bit of a change in her behavior and were getting worried since she wasn't coming to the dojo as much. She was constantly telling them that she was okay but the more she said it, the less anyone, including herself, believed it. The only thing that was keeping her from falling to pieces at the moment was that domino setup she had in the basement, which she surprisingly hadn't knocked over yet.
She wasn't sure why the dominoes were making her so important, but she figured it had to do with the fact that it was something her father started and would never finish. And that was why she had to finish it, for him. She didn't even know when that would be though, considering whenever she ran out, she just bought more. Maybe when she ran out of floor space. Or money.
One day, as she was in the basement, she came across a photo album. Her dad was a huge fan of capturing moments with a camera so the book was pretty big. All of the pictures held so many memories and she even felt a little bit happy looking at them. Until she got to one of the last ones. It was a picture of her dad and his coworkers. There were a couple she didn't recognize, Emmitt's father, and there, to the right of her father with a huge grin on his face, was Joe Plotski. Any of the happiness she had before was now gone. She quickly pulled the picture out of the book and began ripping it to shreds. Then, without thinking, she tossed the book aside. Immediately after the book was in the air, she knew she had made a mistake.
She watched in horror as 435 dominoes fell to the ground. All that she had done, to keep that connection she had with her dad, was gone. The only thing that was keeping her together was gone. It was like this represented everything going wrong in her life right now. Everything was falling apart. Just like the dominoes.
Suddenly, all of those emotions that she had pushed back the last couple weeks began making their way to the surface. So she did the only thing she could think of. She ran. She ran up the stairs and out the front door. She didn't stop until she reached the Bobby Wasabi Dojo. And when she did, she headed straight for the nearest practice dummy and began beating it as hard as she could. She could finally feel the tears, which had been building for so long, falling. Eventually she just stopped and stared at the dummy, trying to catch her breath since she was crying so hard. After a few moments, the tears stopped and she went back to hitting the dummy, this time with a lot less effort.
"Kim?"
She turned to see Rudy coming out of his office. She looked away from him as he got closer, hoping that he wouldn't notice her red eyes.
"Are you okay?" he asked.
Kim opened her mouth to say yes but changed her mind. She knew she wasn't fooling anyone anymore. She took a deep breath. "No Rudy. I'm really not," she admitted.
For a second, Rudy looked unsure what to do. He had probably expected her to say that she was fine. He looked over at the dummy that she had just assaulted. She had left a few marks in it, probably permanent. After he stared at that for a second, he finally spoke.
"I have an idea. Don't go anywhere." He disappeared into his office and came back with a baseball bat. "Come with me."
"A batting cage?"
Rudy grinned. "Yep. Besides Karate, this is probably one of the best ways to blow off some steam." He handed her the bat and exited the cage to watch.
She tried, but no matter what, Kim couldn't hit the balls. She really didn't understand how this was supposed to make her feel better.
"Just think about what's making you angry and then swing!" Rudy called out to her.
She sighed. She wasn't sure if that would help her hit but she tried anyways. What was making her angry?
All those dominoes falling down
Crack!
"There you go!"
Her mom and Brandon ignoring her
Crack!
Her father having to die so young
Crack!
"See, you're getting the hang of it now!"
Emmitt having to lose his father
Crack!
Joe Plotski
CRACK!
That was the last one. She took off her helmet and handed Rudy the bat as she left the cage.
"Feel better?" he asked.
Kim nodded. "Yeah. A lot." And she wasn't lying.
After their session at the batting cage, Kim and Rudy sat down at a nearby picnic table and started to talk.
"You were pretty good, Kim," Rudy said.
Kim shrugged. "I guess."
Rudy sighed. "You know, Kim. I really can't tell you that I know what you're going through right now. But I can tell you that it's going to get better."
"How do you know? It's been two weeks and my mom and brother don't even talk to me."
"Well, it can't just happen on its own," Rudy continued. "You can't sit around and wait for everything to just go away because that never works. You need to get back into your old routines and find ways for your family to connect. You also need to find some sort of closure, something that can help you move on."
Kim nodded slowly. "But how do I do that?"
"I think you're going to have to find that yourself, Kim."
Kim stood up. "I have to go. Thanks for bringing me here. It really did help."
"No problem. And if you ever need to again, you're welcome to borrow my bat any time."
"Thanks. I will," she replied as she headed out.
"Oh, and Kim?"
She stopped and turned around. "Yeah?"
"You don't always have to be so strong around us. You know that, right?"
She nodded. "I do now." Then she gave him something that none of her friends had seen in a long time. A genuine smile.
As soon as she finished her conversation with Rudy, she rushed home, ready to do something that she should have done a long time ago. She headed for the basement, ignoring the dominoes as she grabbed that box of spaghetti she meant to get last time. When dinner was ready, she went to gather her family. She entered the living room and turned off the television.
"Hey!"
Kim ignored Brandon's protests as she put the remote away. "Alright now up." She commanded, motioning for him to get off the couch. He whined about it but he did as he was told and then walked into the kitchen. She did the same with her mom and soon all three of them were seated at the kitchen table.
"Ok, so here's how it's going to go," Kim began. "Mom, no more fake sick days, Brandon, you are going to do your homework every night, like you're supposed to and starting tonight, we are going to be a real family and actually talk to each other again. Our lives aren't over and we need to stop acting like they are. Okay?"
Her mom and brother nodded. Kim smiled at them. "So Mom, how was work today?"
Her mom was a little taken back by Kim's sudden shift in attitude but she answered. "It was alright." It was quiet for a moment but then she spoke again. "How about you? How was school?"
Kim's smile widened. Now they were getting somewhere. "School was pretty good. Not too much homework. What about you, Brandon?"
"We did an experiment in Science and that was fun."
As the conversation went on, they soon found themselves laughing and actually enjoying being together. It was almost like it used to be. Kim realized that maybe if they had done this right away, that these two weeks wouldn't have been as miserable. Maybe then they would be at the point where they could actually mention her father. That might take a little bit longer, but they would get there eventually.
After dinner, the three Crawfords cleaned up the kitchen together and set off in their separate directions like they would normally do, only it was different this time. They were happier. They were ready to get through it now. Together.
There was one more thing she had to do that night. After making sure that Brandon was doing his homework and checking with her mom, she headed out. She walked a couple blocks and soon she was at his house. Taking a deep breath, she walked up his driveway and rang the doorbell.
"So what was your dad like?"
Emmitt took a sip of his smoothie before answering. "Well, he was a lot of fun and he had a ton of those typical lame 'dad jokes'. They could be kind of funny though."
Kim grinned. "Yeah, I've heard plenty of those myself."
Emmitt went on. "Like me, he was a bit of a tech nerd. We built things together, like robots, models, pretty much anything. What about yours?"
"He was also pretty fun. He could come off as kind of intimidating but if you got to know him, he was actually really great."
Emmitt laughed at that. "I guess you got that from him then?"
Kim nodded in agreement. "Definitely."
Emmitt put down his drink and sighed. "I really miss my dad."
"Me too."
"It really isn't fair. Your dad and my dad; they never did anything wrong. Why do bad things happen to good people?"
"I really wish I knew. But I agree; it isn't fair. A lot of things in this world just aren't fair and I really really hate that."
It was awhile before either of them said anything after that but finally Emmitt spoke up. "I'm really glad you asked to talk to me. It feels good to talk to someone who will listen to you and won't feel sorry for you because they actually understand it and feel the same way."
"That's why I wanted us to talk. It's just been so hard but I've been trying to be strong for my family so I can't talk to them and I don't want my friends seeing me so vulnerable and feeling bad for me."
"Exactly." Emmitt smiled. "I've got to go Kim. But it's been a good talk. We should do it again sometime."
Kim smiled back. "Yeah, we should."
Emmitt waved goodbye and went back home. Kim sat there for a little bit longer before finally doing the same. Things were really starting to look up.
Everything really was starting to get back to normal. Her friends no longer needed to keep asking how she was because they knew she was doing okay. Her family was now eating together every night and they had even gone out and had some fun a couple times. Some days were still hard but now she had the batting cage to go to or Emmitt to talk to. At the Seaford Civic Center, there was a memorial service for the people killed in the shootings. Afterwards, her family, along with Emmitt and Randy's all had dinner together. It seemed to really help them connect, especially with the Plotskis, who they could all now see were going through the same thing as them.
But there were still some things that hadn't been accomplished yet. Kim still wasn't able to get her mom to talk about her father. She had introduced the topic a couple of times but her mom always changed the subject. And even though things were getting better, Kim was pretty sure that she hadn't completely gotten closure yet. But since she still wasn't quite sure how to do that, she would have to get her mom to talk.
One day, when she got home from school, she found her mom sitting in the living room, staring at the box of home movies her father had made over the years.
"We should watch them," Kim suggested.
Her mom turned around and gave her a small smile. "Oh, hi Kim."
Kim sat beside her and pulled out one of the tapes. "This is a good one. Dad, Brandon, and I were washing your car and-"
"Kim, please. I don't want to hear about this."
"Why not? You're already thinking about him, aren't you? How much harm can talking about him do?"
"Kim."
Ignoring her mother, Kim took the tape, put it in the VCR and hit play. But instead of watching the TV, she turned to her mom and watched her watch it. At the beginning, her mom kept a straight face but towards the end, she was laughing and adding things about the memory that hadn't been caught on tape. It felt good to know that her dad could still make her mom laugh even when he was gone.
She left her mom alone to watch more videos and then walked down the basement stairs. The dominoes were still scattered across the floor where they fell. But she wasn't going to let them lie there any longer. She swept them aside and began taking one at a time, setting them up along the floor the way they had been before she dropped the book on them.
"Can I help?"
Kim looked up to see Brandon by the staircase. She nodded and motioned for him to come over. Soon they were even joined by their mom. It took awhile, but with the help of her family and the other Wasabi Warriors, they had covered the whole basement floor with the dominoes. They were finished. And when she finally pushed the first domino, setting them all off, she knew she had done it. She'd found closure.
You could almost compare life to a game of dominoes. At any moment, everything you worked so hard to build up could come crashing down, leaving you angry and frustrated, ready to give up. But if you wanted to reach that ending you deserved, you had to get back in there and pick up those dominoes. And sometimes, there might just be someone out there who will come along and help you.
So that was it. Thank you for reading. Please review and let me know what you thought!