Author Note: Just a short one-shot inspired by Lena Janko's comments about Jamie's name in Season 9, Ep 7, By Hook or Crook. Enjoy!
"Here you go, Ed. One more plate for you." Jamie Reagan held the final dish he'd just finished washing out to his fiancé. Cooking – and eating – pancakes had generated a LOT of sticky, messy dishes that they hadn't had time to clean up before leaving to meet Eddie's mother, Lena Janko, earlier that day. But now that they'd returned to his apartment, his neatnik tendencies wouldn't let him leave the dishes in the sink unwashed any longer.
Eddie didn't look up from drying the dish she was holding, or even acknowledge that she'd heard him.
"Ed, I think that one's dry already," Jamie hinted again, with the same response. He had a pretty good idea what the cause of her distraction was: the various barbs, veiled and otherwise, that Lena Janko had tossed their way during their lunch with her. Surely Eddie didn't think those remarks had really bothered him. They hadn't; not directly, at least. He wasn't happy that Lena's remarks were upsetting Eddie. But maybe he could use one of them in particular to shake her out of this funk. "So, I'm thinking of changing my name to Smirnoff," he said. "Smirnoff Reaganov."
Eddie finally looked up at him. "What?"
Jamie smirked. "Your mother seemed to like Smirnoff as a name. I thought I'd try it out."
Eddied filed the dried plate in the dish rack. "And, what? You'd go by Smirni?"
"Smirni." Jamie thought for a moment. "Now that you say it out loud, that sounds like a girl's name. Maybe you should use it." He handed the wet plate to her. "Dry away, Smirni Janko."
Eddie snapped the towel at his behind. "No. And now do you see why I didn't want you meeting my mother? She just jumps right in on insulting your name. And that was before we even got to your last name, and your family and my family."
"No harm. I've heard all the jokes about my name since my friends figured out what Jameson's Irish Whiskey was. And the 'it's a girl's name' thing? Danny started on that as soon as I was old enough to think it was an insult. Doesn't bother me anymore."
"You could have explained to her that it's your grandmother's family name," Eddie huffed.
"Could have. Didn't feel like going into family history with her, Smirni."
Eddie finally smiled, just a little. "No." Eddie swiped the towel over the plate and placed it in the dishrack.
"No. No-off. Are you saying you prefer Noff over Smirni, Smirnoff?"
"You keep calling me Smirnoff or Smirnie or Noff , and you're not getting any ever again."
"That's okay," Jamie snickered. "I don't actually like vodka straight."
"Not the 'any' I was thinking of, Jameson." Eddie trailed her fingers down Jamie's arm before turning around to lean against the counter. She suggestively pulled the hem of her dress up her leg.
"That's an empty threat, and you know it, Smirni." Jamie leaned in to kiss Eddie. "You know you can't resist me."
"Maybe," Eddie admitted after Jamie pulled back. "If you like that name so much, why don't we save it for our daughter. Smirnoff – Smirnie – Reagan. Our names would match. Eddie, Jamie and little Smirnie."
Jamie laughed. "And we'll name our son Jack Daniel."
"You do realize those are actual names in your family?" Eddie asked him.
"That's what makes it perfect. He can tell people he's named after his cousin Jack and Uncle Danny, but we'll know the truth. We're carrying on the family tradition of naming kids after alcoholic beverages."
"If you're going to do that, why not go all out? Kahlua, for our daughter, and Captain Morgan for our son," Eddie fired back with a snicker.
"Too tropical. Hennessy and Jim Bean."
"You'd name our sweet little girl Hennessy? You know people will call her Henny. Henny Penny."
"Okay, Guinness and Johnny Walker?"
"Bailey Bacardi," Eddie suggested. "It works for either a boy or a girl."
"Glen Livet."
"Peppermint Schnapps," Eddie snickered as she recalled their pranks with Officers Patimkin and Welch.
Jamie grimaced as the words brought back the eye-watering, nose-stinging minty burn of that drink.
"Aw, Lambchop. Still can't get that taste out of your mouth?" Eddie teased.
"Still in my head," Jamie confirmed. "If we're adding drink names now, there's Pina Colada."
"Mint Julep."
"Cosmo Politan."
"Mimosa."
"Irish Coffee."
"Joe." Eddie knew as soon as she said the name that their game was over. But it just felt right. What else would they name their first child?
"Joe," Jamie echoed.
"After your brother," Eddie needlessly explained.
"You'd do that?"
"Joe's important to you, and to me. You wouldn't have become a cop if he hadn't encouraged you, and if you hadn't become a cop, we wouldn't have met," Eddie explained.
"What if it's a girl? Josephine?"
"Josephine," Eddie state firmly. "I've always liked Josephine for a girl's name. Let's face it, no kid of mine is going to be some frilly little thing with a name like Clarissa or Annabelle; she's going to be a tomboy like me, and a name like Jo fits that perfectly."
"Jo." Funny, up until the minute Eddie gave their daughter a name, Jamie had always pictured his kids being rambunctious little boys, like he and Joe and Danny had been, by all accounts. But now he had a mental image of Eddie and a toddler girl, their little Jo-Jo, her blonde hair in pigtails, dressed in denim shortalls and a pink t-shirt, chasing a soccer ball around in the park, while he stood nearby with their new infant son strapped to his chest in one of those baby carrier get-ups. And now he wanted that image to be reality, as soon as possible.
Jamie leaned back against the counter next to Eddie. "So, now that we have the name decided, how about we go make the baby to go with it?" he suggested. He slipped one arm around her waist and pulled her around so she was leaning against him.
"Didn't we agree to hold off on talking about having a baby until after we're married?" Eddie reminded Jamie as she wrapped her arms around his body and snuggled against him.
"Talking wasn't what I had in mind." Jamie leaned down to kiss his fiancé, the scooped her into her arms and carried her off to their bedroom.
A few hours later, Eddie awoke from their post-lovemaking nap to find Jamie still dozing beside her. As she thought back over their evening, a funny though suddenly struck her. "Jamie," she whispered, then reached over to run her hand through his hair. "Jamie, wake up."
"Hmmm?" Jamie mumbled as he slowly awoke.
"I thought of some middle names for our baby, if I somehow get preggers from today," she told him.
"What's that?"
"Jemima or Butterworth. From the syrup. Since the pancakes are what led to all this."
Jamie rolled over and sat up slightly. "No way. I only serve the real stuff. Pure maple syrup."
"I know. You like your fancy tree juice. Maple seems a little old fashioned, though. Josephine Maple."
"You're thinking of Mable. And you liked the maple syrup. 'Best pancakes ever,' you said," Jamie argued. "And really, it's the dishwashing that led to this."
"Dawn. Palmolive? Ajax, if it's a boy." Eddie laughed. "What is that brand of dish soap you have?"
"I don't know. It's whatever you brought with you."
"Lemon Joy," Eddie recalled. "Hey, that actually kind of works for real." Eddie arranged the bed covers in her arms as if she was cradling a new baby. "Welcome to the world, little Josephine Joy Reagan."