Prologue

We? we are different. We are many in one. One with many. Some would call me insane. Some would call me evil. But if you see the ending you can understand the beginning.

Me? I was born in a christian household. I never liked it much. Everything that was considered evil was attractive to me. Bowing and praying to a god that refuses to show me reputable proof that he is real never really struck me as all that amazing. I have had two dreams since i was a child. A dream of glory and a dream of love. Then I got older and another dream was added. This is the main dream. The one that completes the story and ends the "evil". The dream of sacrifice.

I put those markings on the word evil, because I do not believe that anything I am doing is evil. If anything it is extremely good! Most however; do not believe that this is the case. Here is a small example of a part of my many ways of thinking. If one is prosecuted by another and you never got the full story of the one who was being prosecuted, that person deserves just as much attention of the other. Or at least until the story is figured out.

I wanted to figure out Satan's story. Nobody ever gave me a chance and attempted to prosecute me for trying to do so. As is expected. I do not care, however. Until I figure out His story my path is set. I do not care if my family shuns me. If they decide to do so then they were never worthy of being my family in the first place. Many of my family is on my side in the way that, they will not prosecute me for my beliefs. The main one who opposes me is my mother. She will be the first to know the truth and the last to cry. She understands the least and is ignorant the most. Sometimes, death heals.

1

My private high school. Fucking gay. I made one good friend, three good enemies, and a lot of people very confused. During my stay I became heavily depressed. I did not know the pain of loneliness or the pain and burden of unchecked knowledge. See, before i was at this high school/private school/dorm thing, I was "blissfully Ignorant". Ignorance is, in fact, bliss. When you do not truly know pain, you do not truly know comfort. When you do not truly know sadness, you do not truly know happiness. When you do not truly know love, you do not truly know hatred.

This is where we enter the dream of love. I began to understand loneliness, pain, sadness, and hatred. I dreamed more and more of the love I wished for. I began to notice what i did not receive as a child. I would ask "god" almost daily to send me love. Now that I look back on it i realize it was unintelligent. I asked Satan for the same thing, except then something happened. I did not receive love per say, but I received the strength to endure the lack of love.

I imagined daily of someone being there with me at that school. Someone nonexistent, like an imaginary friend. This someone was a she. I do not really enjoy male company. Probably because that is all I got when I was a child. My mother was there but she was more of an authority figure. Something you hate but have to obey. My father was almost never around. He was a truck driver and he rarely came home. I spent most of my time either alone or with my brothers. When I was alone i had imaginary friends back then too. It's just that now they are a little more real.

Anyways, every day i would make up conversations with this friend. As if to appease my loneliness. Every day I would also get reminded of how alone I really was. So I asked Satan to show me love and my eyes were opened. Not immediately, but slowly. Even today they are still opening. My intuition became more keen. My intellectual abilities rose to new heights and allowed me to see this world more properly. This world? It is filthy. Everything is stuffed full of evil, not the christian look of evil but the moral look (there is a difference). This is a piece of the dream of sacrifice, remember it. This love that christians speak of giving? It is as filthy as the evils of this world. They speak of giving false love. This is a poison to the problem, not a remedy. If you love a parasite it does not care, it will continue to be a parasite. Though I suspect you have different beliefs so take the comment as you please.

This occurred in the last few weeks of my stay at high school. Other than my friend Brian, not much else occurred there that is worth mentioning. Brian will be brought up in greater detail later. The only thing I really thought about in the last few weeks at school was a Succubus. This was my main interest. I thought that a Succubus could provide me with the love that I wished for. Though, at this time I merely thought, nothing more.

Thoughts when thought enough can create a reality. This is my "magic" so to speak. I can think of something enough and it eventually becomes reality. I have never given up on my dreams and nor do I plan to. I have made my mind with multiple fail-safes to protect me from myself if need be. I expect me to betray me. As would any other intelligent being without the means of omnipotence. I am no god, yet.