How to kiss a guy

Disclaimer: Don't own. . .Don't sue. . .::sobs:: I found these rules from the story "How To Kiss A Guy" by kinomoto on Mediaminer. . .but the story and plot is mine.

Summary: Who says that you have to follow the rules to the letter?

A.N. Um. . .laziness has gotten it's rotten hold on me. . .and. . .well. . .GET READY TO USE YOUR IMAGINATIONS ON THIS ONE! Guess who's talking!

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"Are you sure this is going to work?"

"I'm positive! Just do what the article told you to. Nothing should go wrong."

"I feel. . .a little wrong doing this. . ."

"Listen, do you want this?"

". . .yes."

"Then go for it! You remember what it says don't you?"

"Unfortunatly. You drilled it into my head enough times."

"It was for your own good. Now. . .go get him."

"What?! N-now? At this particular moment in time?! But. . .we. . uh."

"GO! NOW! No time like the present right? Listen you'll be fine!"

::shuffle shuffle::

"No need to push! I'm going, I'm going!"

::door opening and closing::

::sigh::

"Poor thing. . .gonna get eaten alive. . ."

'Step one.

Choose the perfect location.'

"Hey, I got your letter. Why do you all of a sudden want to capture bugs?"

"Firefly's! And. . . they're for ah. . .a project in class!"

"I don't remember this being assigned. . ."

::skeptical look::

"It's, uh, extra credit! I'm doing this for extra credit. . .in Math! It's extra credit in Math!"

"The extra credit is to catch . . . Lightning bugs?"

"Yes! For. . .uh. . .experimental use!"

::raised eyebrow::

::nervous laughter::

"You just want to keep them in a jar don't you?"

::blink::

". . .yes. Yes! Haha. . .you caught me!"

"I knew it. See. . .you can't fool me. So. . .how about we start over there by the lake?"

::walks away::

::deep sigh out::

"God save me. . ."

'Step two.

Create the mood.'

"Isn't the water beautiful?"

"Huh? Oh. . .uh, yeah, beautiful."

::blush::

"And the moon is so big and full!"

::strangled cough::

"Shouldn't we be looking for your Lightning Bugs?"

"What bugs?"

"The ones you want to catch?. . ."

::nervous laughter::

"Of course! Yes. . .I was just. . .checking to see if you remembered! Heh. . ."

::sweat drop::

"Oh look! I think I see some over there!"

"Wait! You're going to—"

::splash::

'Step three.

Devise a situation—'

"Thanks for saving me."

"You should be more careful! You could have died!"

"But you saved me. . ."

"Well I wasn't going to leave you to drown!"

::heavy breathing::

::shyly::

"Thank you."

::drip, drip::

::lean foreword::

"Achoo!"

"And now your sick."

'Step four.

—and make the most of it.'

::ruffling of clothing being taken off::

::ringing water out::

"Here."

"But. . ."

"Take it. . ."

"You'll catch pneumonia!"

"I won't."

'First pointer.

Aggression is the key.'

"Why do you have to be so stubborn?"

::standing up::

"Your soaking wet too!"

::mutter::

"And shirtless for that matter. . ."

"Listen. . .if you had a gallon of water, and I came in looking like I was going to die of dehydration, what would you do?"

"I'd give all of my water to you!"

"That's what I'm doing."

::sharp intake of breathe::

"Achoo!"

::smirk::

"Plus you're sick."

::sniffle::

"Oh! This didn't turn out like I wanted at all!"

"What?"

"Um. . .I. . .oh man. . ."

::intense look::

"You never wanted to catch Lightning Bugs did you?"

"Just forget about it. We're both soaking wet, and cold, let's just go home."

::swift moving::

"Hold on a second!"

::grab::

"I think you owe me an explanation of this little escapade tonight."

"H-hey. . .let me go!"

"Not until you tell me what all of this is about."

'Second pointer.

Never ever reveal your ulterior motives.'

"Okay. . .well. . .um. . .there was this magazine. . ."

"And it told you to fall into a lake on a phony jaunt to catch Lightning Bugs?"

"Yes. . .yes it did. Now that that's done, let's go home—"

::turn::

::grab and hold::

::growls in ear::

"I don't buy that."

::heavy breathing::

"Okay. . .it was on. . .uh. . .kissing."

::spin around::

"Kissing?!"

'Third pointer.

If you slip, retreat as quickly as possible.'

"But it wasn't supposed to turn out like this at all!"

"Was She the one that gave you the magazine?"

"She was just trying to help. . ."

"So she helped you by taking me on this wild goose chase just so you could kiss me?"

"When you put it that way it sounds like I was trying to do unmentionable things to you!"

"But. . .that's what you just said!"

::exasperated sigh::

'Advice.

If everything else fails, abandon ship.'

"I know, I know! Look. . .forget it okay? Here, put your shirt on and let's go. . ."

::brisk walking::

"Your upset. . ."

"No. . .just. . ."

::stop::

"I feel so stupid! Why would I possibly think that this would work? I get a whole article to tell me what to do and I STILL muck it up!"

::chuckle::

"And now your laughing at me! This has gone all wrong. . .the signs were evident!"

"What signs?"

"Well. . .you jumping into the lake to save me was a big enough sign for me! And now. . .your wet and you'll get sick, all because of me!"

::chuckle again::

"What? What's so funny about you dying from my stupidity?"

"You."

"So you think I'm stupid too?"

"And me. Us."

"What about us?"

"I'm just thinking about what a pair of morons we make."

::step closer. . .::

"How idiotic we are."

::. . .and closer still::

'Step five.

When he moves closer, hold your breath and stay still.'

"The truth is. . .I had the same idea myself."

::close in distance::

::Silence.::

O.Wa.Ri.

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A.N. This is my first time writing in this type of style. . .I hope I didn't jack it up TOO much. . .I'm Sorry!! ::bows:: Oh and. . .HAPPY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!!

One more thing. . .if it isn't too much trouble. . .if anyone is interested in becoming my Beta reader. . .PLEASE tell me! As you can see. . .I really need one. ::points to sign that says 'Crap on a Stick':: So. . .if you are interested and want to, please tell me! I will be eternally grateful! ::bows:: Thank you!