A/N: I just thought that it would be fun to write a fanfic about these two. I know it will never happen on the show, and I'm okay with that! (: Takes place in the beginning of season 2. I haven't decided if this is going to be a one shot or not. Review if you like it!

"I just can't be with Ted." Robin told Marshall over a beer. "I mean, how stupid would we be if we tried it again and it didn't work again. And I still can't believe that he lied to me about Victoria."

Marshall shrugged taking a long gulp of his beer. "I'm not getting married."

"Right, she said, shaking her head. "I came here to make you feel better about Lily, okay, sorry, go ahead and talk about Lily."

"It's just so hard because I love her so much but I-"

"But seriously, why would Ted think that stupid blue instruments would be enough to win me over?"

"Oh, okay, we're back to talking about you again," He said with a hint of bitterness in his tone.

"Sorry, sorry." She said. "I'm being a bad friend."

"You'd be a better friend if you got me another beer." She obliged, noticing that her bottle was nearly empty as well.

"Who needs Lily anyway?" Robin asked. "Sure she's nice and let's admit it, she's pretty smoking." She noticed Marshall's face drop.

"She's not the hottest though. I'm hotter than Lily." She said confidently.

He let out a small snort and shook his head.

"What was that?" She asked, her mouth hanging slightly.

"Come on, Robin, you're no Lily."

"That's right, because I'm a 10 and Lily is an 8 at best. I'm a 10 Marshall; ask anyone they will tell you that I'm a 10."

He nodded. "You are a 10." He said with a smile. "It's just that Lily is an 11."

"You can't be an 11." She said, quietly. "If you could be an 11 then I would be an 11."

"Okay, fine." Marshall said, "You are hotter than Lily, happy? Lily is beautiful to me, but as an average random skank you meet at the bar and want to nail, you win."

Robin smiled. "That's probably the sweetest thing you've ever said." She said high fiving him.

"If you were just some random chick at the bar I would nail you so hard." He continued. "You know… If you could handle it. My guess is probably not."

"Uh, you'd be surprised the kind of pounding I can take." She said with great pride.

"Robin Scherbatsky, are you a filthy whore?"

"The filthiest."

"Not as filthy or whorey as Lily though, right?"

"Of course not, because Lily is your ex, so that means that she'll always be a dirty whore. Unless you guys get back together and she comes back and decides to be my best friend again. If that happens then I love her and she's a lovely woman."

"But right now she's a filthy whore."

"Totally."

"Speaking of filthy whores, do you know what I should do? I should go down to MacLaren's and find a super skank and then take her home and have sex with her. Then I'll be better and happier than Lily ever could be with her stupid paints and stupid San Francisco."

"I'll totally be your wing man. I'm an awesome wing man." Robin said, getting off the couch and hurrying to get her coat.

"Yes!" Marshall said, getting excited for the first time since Lily had left. "Yes! I'm going to be Barney for the night."

"Let's go find a drunken bimbo that will let you have your way with her. I'm thinking maybe you can land a 9 tonight. That's a whole number higher than Lily."

Marshall high fived her, and grabbed his jacket.

-xxx-

"I'm not really feeling the crowd tonight." Marshall said a few minutes after stepping into the bar.

"What are you talking about?" Robin asked. "This place is swarming with hotties."

"Eh. I'm only seeing a bunch of 7s and 6s. I need at least an 8."

"Um, there's two 9s, over there by the bar."

Marshall scoffed. "Yeah right, it would be generous to even call them 6s."

Robin smiled at him. "Maybe you don't want to go home with a random bar skank."

"I don't." He said. "I thought it would be easy to be like Barney, but I don't know how he does it? The guy's disgusting."

Robin patted him on the back. "It's okay, you're not Barney. That's not something to be ashamed of. In fact, that's something to be proud of. You should be proud, because you're a classy son of a bitch."

"Okay, when people say that I always feel like they're just calling my mom a bitch, and she's not a bitch, she's a sweet woman who loves me very much and would do anything for me."

Robin rolled her eyes. "Whatever Mama's boy, let's get you home. I think you have a few more beer in your fridge and I'm starting to sober up. That needs to change."

-xxx-

Marshall laughed loudly after finishing off the last beer. "There were more than a few beers left."

Robin could barely see straight. The things that she did to make her friends feel better. She was an excellent friend. "And you know what." She slurred. "I haven't thought about Ted like once this whole night."

"You've been thinking about Ted all night." Marshall said, seeing through her lie. "Just like I've been thinking about Lily."

"Maybe I do want to be with Ted. What if I'm wrong when I say that I don't?"

"Ted loves you Robin." Marshall's words were so slurred that she could barely understand what he was trying to say. "Yeah he's kind of a wimp, but he's so nice and he loves you."

Robin pulled Marshall into a hug. "You're the best ever. You can be my new best friend. I don't even need Lily anymore." She told him.

He laughed. "You're boobs are on me."

She laughed too.

"Do you know what would be crazy?" He asked. "You know what would be really crazy, but also really super fun and awesome too?"

"Tell me." Robin demanded.

"If I hooked up with a 10 tonight."

"I thought that you only saw 6s and 7s, and I thought that you didn't want to sleep with a stranger from the bar."

"I know, I know. Get this. What if you and I had sex? Wouldn't that be… awesome? Because I mean you're a 10, right, and I wouldn't have to sleep with someone I don't know and I would continue to be nothing like Barney."

She narrowed her bloodshot eyes. "Well what's in it for me?"

He gave her a grin. "Oh Robin, you'll soon see exactly what's in it for you."

She thought about Lily. Lily was gone. She abandoned Marshall as her fiancé and she abandoned Robin as her best friend. Robin didn't care about Lily anymore. She didn't have to follow the bro code anymore, because technically she wasn't her bro anymore. She also thought about Ted, but really, her and Ted were nothing, they never really had been, and she surely didn't owe anything to him.

Marshall thought about Lily. He loved Lily, but clearly she didn't feel the same, if she did then she would be here with him and he wouldn't be trying to bone Robin. He thought about Ted too. This was kind of breaking the bro code, but Robin and Ted were never even together and she said that she didn't want anything to do with him. That meant that she was fair game.

Marshall leaned in and kissed her lips softly.

"Are you sure you want to do this, Marshall?" Robin asked. "I mean after we do this, we can't go back."

Marshall nodded. "I want to have drunken sex tonight with a 10, but I don't want it to be a stranger, and you're pretty much the only 10 that I know… besides Lily."

Robin fake coughed, mentioning the number 8.

"It would be fun." Robin admitted. "You're fun, and we have fun when we drink beer together, so why wouldn't we have fun when we do other naughty things together?" He thought that she was going to continue talking, so he kissed her again before she could say anything else. He couldn't take the anticipation any longer.

This kiss was more urgent. He slid his tongue into her mouth, and slid his hands from her waist up to her chest. He thought about how different she felt from Lily, and how nice it was to feel someone who wasn't Lily. There were other beautiful women in this world, and one of them was right there, and she wanted him. He could tell by the way she kissed him back.

He lifted her up effortlessly and carried her into his bedroom. The bed that he once shared with Lily. He set her down and continued to kiss her and feel her, but he wanted more of her.

For the first time in a long time he wasn't hurting. In fact, he wasn't thinking about Lily at all. He didn't think about Lily for the rest of the night.

The funny thing is that even though it was drunken sex, neither of them regretted it when it was done.

Marshall even let her stay the night.

He so wasn't anything like Barney.