***This is my first upload :) I hope you all enjoy it***

First chapter is a little slow, but trust me when I say later chapters will be intense!

I will try to update at least once every two weeks, and hopefully will be able to update once a week, so keep a look out!

This is a Kagome/Sesshomaru, and Inuyasha/Kikyo pairing (fair warning to those who dislike these pairings)

I do not own anything of Inuyasha what-so-ever - Sadness :( -

Enjoy!

Chapter one: The Hearts Lingering Pain

The village was calm in the early morning. The sweet scent of the rain that had passed through the night still lingered in the air, light and weightless with a fresh, crisp aroma that pulled the perfume of the earth up into the atmosphere. A light dew and mist coated the blades of grass that collected into a small meadow within the density of the heavy trees surrounding it. The sun still hid behind the horizon unseen, with the clear sky slowly aging from a dark purple into a light blue. The birds stirred into waking with their chirps and flapping feathers orchestrating morning sounds, prompting the animals in the trees to enjoy what could be the last of their fleeting summer days. A gentle breeze washed over the forest of Inuyasha, chilling the area into momentary silence, which aided to cool Kagome's exploding emotions.

It was not that she was longing for what was gone, not entirely anyways. Yes, Kagome missed her family; her caring, responsible little brother; her sweet, ever calming breath of fresh air that was her mother; and even her painfully eccentric grandpa. But that wasn't what brought her here today to the Bone-Eater's Well, her nails digging sharply into the wood till they ached as she fought to hold back her stinging tears. What brought her here was a deep pain; the kind of pain that grew its harsh roots into the meager muscle that was her heart. It constricted her chest, halted her blood and breath and made her gasp for air between its rhythmic turmoil. It was a pain that would not cease. It was the pain of regret. But why? Why did she feel this way? What was it she regretted? No answer would come through from the dark, empty well that loomed beneath her, tempting to swallow her whole as she had allowed it to do so many times before. Only now, instead of gracefully landing on the other side of her own time, she would be greeted with the cold hard floor that was cursed with the reality that she could never, ever go back. In a voice that echoed only in her thoughts, a dull whisper that carried the secrets that would never escape her trembling lips, she admitted once more to herself a phrase that held the burdens of her heart; I just want to escape.

"Kagome?" Sango's voice called from behind, startling Kagome into an upright surprise was unwelcomed. Too many times now Sango had walked in on Kagome crying, and each time Kagome saw the sadness in her friend's own eyes increasing for her. As if the pain she felt on her own wasn't enough, the knowledge that others ached on her behalf left her doubling over in guilt. But Sango had found her, and Kagome was determined to hide her true feelings from her dear friend. With determined immediacy, Kagome collected her pain within herself, swiftly removed evidence of tears, and placed a false mask of happiness onto her facial features; a mask she now wore with the professionalism of a skilled actress, due to her well abound practice.

"Morning Sango!" She said, with no indication of sadness in her voice and a smile that beamed like sunlight streaks. "What are you doing up so early?"

Sango currently wore her demon slayer attire, which after bearing children, fitted her more snuggly and accentuated her femininity. Her body's form, curved at bust and hips, with the tone-ness of a fit gazelle, was in every way desirable by all men and envied upon by all women; two reactions which the villagers did not hide very well.

"Today is my shift to get breakfast. I thought it would be a good idea to go a hunt with Hiraikotsu so I don't lose my edge. But what are you doing out here? It's not like you to be up so early."

Kagome took note of the large boar Sango currently had draped behind her, its hind legs tied off by a rope that Sango held onto over her shoulder. The size of the beast was impressive, its snout grazing the ground while its midsection was large enough to hold a full grown man. Sango had always been strong, there was no denying that, but the Sango Kagome had known three years ago would have struggled immensely to carry this particular boar. The Sango who stood before her now, however, carried it as though it were only a basket of feathers. She had grown stronger the three years Kagome was gone, not only in her physical strength, but in her demeanor as well. Kagome studied her friend, a single drop of sweat trickling down Sango's face, yet no sign of exhaustion was carried in her disposition. Always about her was an air of caring calmness and understanding, even in her moments of fury when it was evident that her temper rose solely for the sake of another. It was not only her who had grown either. Kagome had steadily noticed how much all of her friends had grown in all aspects of their life, much to her own discouragement. Where all of her friends grew in strength and manner, Kagome felt she had remain utterly idle and had not grown in any way at all. Reflectively, she chastised herself for being incapable of presenting herself to at least some degree comparable to that of Sango. She began to feel dishearten, and briefly, for only a short moment in the lapse of her judgment, her perfectly placed mask fell and she felt a frown come upon her face. Aware of her falter, she quickly resumed the conversation.

"No reason." She said in fake enthusiasm. "I just couldn't sleep." Though the words were normal and carried a tone of little care, she felt somber, the ache in her heart returning as she turned her gaze back towards the useless well. Sango strode over, placing the large boar on the ground, and placed herself next to Kagome facing the opposite direction, with her back towards the well. She rested against it, half sitting as she was, and thought of the brief look of sadness she had seen cross Kagome's face just a few moments ago. It did not take long for Sango to come to a conclusion, though the conclusion was wrong.

"I see. You miss your family, huh?"

"...Yeah." Kagome said after a pause, not fully comfortable with the lie she was telling. She did miss them, that was true enough, but their absence wasn't enough of a heartache to gnaw her out of her sleep; they were not the burden that came down on her in thrashing dreams until she became too exhausted to sleep and found staying awake more relaxing. This place, which once held the wonders of time travel, was simply a place she found solace; a faint memory of what it was like to leave when it became too much for her to withstand.

"I understand." Sango said, unaware of Kagome's despair. "I miss my family 's only natural to miss them. Missing them is okay."

Sango fell into silence, and Kagome realized that those must have been the words Sango had told herself all those times she felt close to breaking in thoughts of her family. Kagome cursed herself, a bitter taste coating her taste buds for the lie she had told. Sango truly missed her family who had died by the hands of Naraku, and Kagome had used her family as an excuse to not tell the truth.

"So how are you and Inuyasha doing?" Sango asked lightheartedly, but the question gave Kagome a twinge of discomfort. That was certainly one of the reasons she was here today. Another day, another fight. It seemed that after the first few weeks of her return, her and Inuyasha were incapable of going a full day without instigating the other into a fight. It had become exhausting, and Kagome bowed her head underneath the weight of that exhaustion with a grown.

"That bad huh? I'm guessing last night's fight didn't go so well then?"

"You heard that?!" Kagome shouted, eyes pleading towards her friend, hoping she had only guessed the truth.

"I'm fairly certain the whole village heard. Even Kaede was a little shocked by how many sit commands you gave."

Once more, Kagome bowed her head in shame, her cheeks a shade of blushing red from embarrassment. Ugh. The whole village?

"So," Sango continued, "what were you two fighting about this time? Did Inuyasha do something moronic again, because if he did-"

"No. He didn't really do anything actually…" Kagome lowered her face, bending at the waist to do so, and rested against her forearms atop the well. She was ashamed and sought to hide herself, even if her forearms only hid her troubled lips.

"Please Kagome, don't defend him." Sango calmly expressed. "Whatever he did, it really upset you. Just tell me the truth." Irritation crept up Kagome's spine, bringing her back into an upright position.

"I am telling the truth!" Kagome yelled, any form of composure caste aside. "He really didn't do anything!"

"Tell me what happened then."

"Er, w-what… what happened? Well…" Sango waited patiently, not believing for a moment that Inuyasha wasn't the root of the problem. Yet Kagome felt certain that he wasn't the issue; she was. "I… I had… a dream."

"Huh? A dream?" Sango said, her eyes blinking twice in an expressing of confusion.

Kagome simply nodded her response.

"Well, what was the dream about?"

"Kikyo…" Her name slipped from Kagome's mouth like a spell, exhaled effortlessly yet entrancing the speaker into a floating depression. For a moment, Kagome forgot that she wasn't alone. Halted in time, it was as though all that existed was herself and that name. That echoing, oxygen depraving name. She didn't want to say anything else, clinging to that airless moment. It was more comforting than living each moment with her lungs filling with the burning pain she had come to feel every second she was alive. Yet Sango continued to wait, patiently waiting for Kagome to continue. And like a heavyweight, that patience weighed on Kagome, pushing against her until she subdued to its will.

"It was back to that first time I saw her and Inuyasha together. Except it was different. It was the exact same place and time. I was even pinned to that tree. But Kikyo was different than how she was during that time. She was more like how she was near the end. Kinder, and no longer vengeful. She didn't seem to know I was there, and instead of trying to pull Inuyasha into hell, she was trying to stop him from following her. Honestly, i can't believe she ever tried to pull him to hell before! I mean-"

"Kagome, you're sidetracking."

"Oh, right." So much for trying to change the subject. Sango waited patiently once more, and once more Kagome obliged to its will. This was difficult for her to speak about, and she took a breath before continuing, hoping to ease the pain that was beginning to increase inside her.

"Everything was moving in slow motion… I wanted to look away, but i couldn't. No, i just wouldn't. I was so fixated on the details. The little things between them, you know? There eyes glowed with affection for each other, like they were the only two people in the world. And when he held her in his arms, they seemed to be perfectly molded for each other. Inuyasha wasn't timid or nervous about holding her so affectionately, showing her how he felt. When they kissed…" She stopped for a passing moment, needing to remind herself it was only a dream, and that the ache she was feeling in her chest was unnecessary. "It was like.. It was the only thing they knew how to do in all the world. Like it was their reason for living…"

Sango knew there was more, so she remained silent. She focused on her friend, noticing the hitch in the tone of her voice just before she stopped speaking, as if she were about to cry. She saw the small trembles Kagome tried to shake off, and her shaking hand reaching towards her chest to clutch at the pain she was feeling. She saw the tears swelling in her eyes. Sango saw her pain, and she ached for her friend in return. Would the wounds inflicted onto Kagome during those Kikyo years ever heal? Sango doubted.

"Then… Then he told her something… and it tore my heart to shreds!" Kagome let her tears fall down her face and onto the hand that struggled to grab at her heart. She struggled to breathe, the roots in her weak heart twisting and tightening till she could feel every throbbing heartbeat. She was certain this was the feeling of agonizing death. Only death's relief would never come for her, and she was condemned to her suffering.

"What did he tell her?"

"He… he told her… that he wished i was more like her." The sentence fell out with a gasp of pain, and Kagome doubled over, nearly collapsing from the pain, but held herself up by pushing against the well. Her tears fell without resistance, and she succumbed to the internal pain. She no longer cared that Sango was watching. It hurt too much to hold back the pain.

"What happened next Kagome?"

"I woke up." She said wiping away her tears with a sniffle. "But i went to Inuyasha's hut, looking for some sort of assurance i guess. He was asleep of course…"

"And?"

"It's stupid."

"Tell me anyway."

"That idiot Inuyasha. He's never talked in his sleep before. But i walk in and he just kept saying 'Kikyo, Kikyo, Kikyo' over and over again in his sleep, and i just snapped!" Kagome expanded her fingers at the side of her head to exaggerate the moment she had snapped. The memory of it all was so fresh, she could practically see it playing before her eyes, just as she could feel everything she had felt at that time all over again.

"I see."

"You think i overreacted?"

"Well, yes and no. Yes because they were only dreams, but no because i believe that he had it coming. That he deserved it. There have been plenty of times i've wanted to hurt the little idiot, and i'm speaking recently."

"Huh? You have?" It wasn't as though Inuyasha had been causing trouble or partaking in stupid antics. In fact, Inuyasha hadn't behaved this well since ever. Always willing to help out in the fields or take care of the village children, Inuyasha had been a shining example of civic service and a well behaved citizen. It was rather surprising, and a little strange actually.

By this point, the sun was beginning to rise, radiating warmth onto Sango's back. With each second, the coolness of the morning was rushing away to be replaced with heat, and time was ticking for Sango. She had to get back to her ever growing family. The monk Miroku had already started to come up with names for a fourth child, something she herself was very excited for. But before she could return to them, she needed to tell Kagome what had been plaguing her mind after only two weeks since Kagome had returned. She had held it heavily still for another week and two months, hoping throughout that time that perhaps something, anything, would change. That perhaps Inuyasha would finally start acting how they had all expected him to. But that hope had dwindled away into nothingness now, and Sango was tired of watching her friend go through what seemed to be a never ending pain. Sango was ready to 'get it off her chest', as Kagome would say.

"Kagome, you know I've always supported you and that i respect you not only as a comrade in battle but as a close friend as well. You are like a sister to me, and your happiness is very important to me. Which is why I must tell you, I think you should give up on Inuyasha. I think you should leave him."

"W-What did you say?!"

"You've sacrificed so much for him, Kagome. You've given up ever seeing your true home again, of ever seeing your friends, or even your family. And what has he done for you?-"

"Sango-"

"Please, let me finish. When you returned after 3 years of uncertainty that we would ever see you again, we were so happy. But we were also… expectant. We were excited for the day you and Inuyasha would marry, and at first it seemed to be going in that direction. You even called Lord Sesshomaru older brother a few times, but it never happened." Kagome sucked in a breath at the thought of marrying Inuyasha. Her and Inuyasha, married? At one point she had expected they would be too, eventually, but now it felt more likely that she would wake one morning with two heads rather than her and Inuyasha getting married. Where had their love gone? "Everyone was so certain it would happen soon, that we all built a hut for you two because we assumed that you would want to move in together as soon as possible. We never told you that was the purpose, but now Inuyasha stays there, and you continue to live at Kaede's. Not only that but it seems you are even worse off than before. Even the oldest, most bitter couple in the village show more affection to each other, and they swear to kill the other off everyday. It's like Inuyasha keeps you at arm's length, avoiding to even hold your hand, yet keeps you around like you're his back up."

Well you don't have to say it so bluntly. Words hurt you know? Kagome thought to herself. And it's not like we're really that bad, are we? But she pondered. Then pondered some more. The things Sango were saying, she came to realize, were quite truthful. Inuyasha did avoid showing affection to Kagome, and their bickering had no end. They're relationship was rotten and always full of hurt. But… we're in love… Thoughtful words with shallow meaning and shallow convincing echoed in her mind.

"I never see you kiss, or hug. Whenever you lay your head on his shoulder, he turns away making sure not to hold you. Sometimes, I swear I've seen him squirm, like he's looking for a way out."

Another hurtful sting. Kagome felt the heaviness of Sango's words, as though she were packing on the pain. Kagome was feeling worse and worse, but she knew Sango never said anything simply to hurt someone. If her words did hurt, it was because she was trying to bluntly tell a hurtful truth. Kagome, however, was resilient to thought that what Sango was saying was true, even though she found herself agreeing with almost everything she said..

"It's only getting worse everyday. I Know you two hold feelings for each other, but Inuyasha seems to only show his when we are in peril, and he is in danger of losing you. It's just like those wise words you told me. 'When something disappears, then you realize it's value'-"

"You don't know what you have until it's gone?"

"Yes, that one exactly. Anyway, that is what I have observed. Take my advice or not, I will support your decision no matter what, but I suggest you 'make trash of him'."

"Dump him?"

"Yes, Dump him." Sango stood from her seated position, and gathered the boar onto her back, preparing to leave without giving Kagome a chance to respond to what she just said. She had wasted enough time, and her little ones were most likely starting to wake, full of energy as always. She smiled at the thought of her return to her bustling home where her lovely children and overly affectionate husband resided. But before she could leave, she had one more thing to say.

"Kagome, if Kikyo was in your position, do you think Inuyasha would treat her in the same manner that he treats you now?"

She left without Kagome speaking, but the air resonated with the answer.

No.

Kagome slumped to the ground, knowing exactly how Inuyasha would have acted if Kikyo were here instead of herself. He would have showered her with affection that would have made the whole village blush. With every moment that he saw her, he would have whisked her into his arms. There would not be a single moment that passed without some form of love passing between them. They would be everything to each other.

"The moment she returned to the village, he would have marri-"

No! Kagome was not going to complete that thought. She couldn't believe this! Kikyo was gone and she was still competing with her! Did Inuyasha not think she was good enough!? Of course she wasn't. If Kagome took an honest look at herself, she couldn't help but feel inferior to the famous Kikyo. Kikyo was more graceful, confident, strong, powerful, wise,and extremely beautiful. More beautiful than her, even though they looked almost exactly the same. But Kikyo could wear the baggy priestess drab and still look stunning, while Kagome felt awkward and insecure. And her hair! Arg! There were so many times that she wished she had Kikyo's hair.

"Ugh! Get a grip girl! Why do you torture yourself like this!?" But as much as she tried, she couldn't pull herself out of her rut. Was it true? Was she so insignificant to Inuyasha?

It was the sound of wind from up above, out of place and going against itself creating the sound of rushing wind, that pulled Kagome from her slumped position. Sesshomaru was flying from above, heading towards the village with Jaken and Ah-Un following close behind. In his left arm was a purple and turquoise-blue kimono swaying gracefully from the push of the wind. Another gift for Rin. It was strange seeing him with his arm back. Three years and three months with it back though, he probably had forgotten all about how it was like to not have one, especially given his almost immortal status as a demon.

"Perfecting timing as always." Kagome said sarcastically. The villagers never took Sesshomaru's visits kindly, and he, likewise, was never eager to meet their opposition. Tension always rose between them, and a fight was always ready to break out. The only reason any of the villagers were still alive was because of Rin, and her kind request for Sesshomaru to not kill any of them. Of course, since she had never mentioned it, Sesshomaru was always willing to threaten the villagers with the fear of inflicting harm on them, since that technically wouldn't be killing them in the end anyway. It baffled Kagome how on earth the villagers and Sesshomaru had managed to withstand each other for the three years she was gone since peace seemed to be placed solely on her shoulders; they would only calm down whenever she was around!

It was at this time that Sesshomaru, fully aware of Kagome's idle position at the well, shot her an annoyed look. With a sigh, Kagome stood, knowing fully well that he was telling her to hurry up. It wasn't the first time, nor would it be the last, that he would rush her to her post in such an arrogant manner. At first, it had aggravated her immensely, but as time passed on she became rather understanding. It took a tall order, and extremely tall order, to place herself in the position of the overly proud and haughty Sesshomaru for her to finally come to the conclusion that if she were greeted every time with annoying, rather pointless, resistance whenever she went to see someone close to her, she'd treat the buffer, whoever that me be, in the exact same manner if they were never there on time; she never was.

So she stood, exhaling a sigh, and walking, ever so slowly away from the well and towards the village. She had no desire to leave. If given the chance, she would have stayed there for the rest of the day, releasing the pent up waters of anguish that she held within herself, and enjoying the comfort of her own solitude. But such pleasures were out of reach in her new life. Her presence was required at the village for the sake of peace; inner peace was a luxury she was no longer welcomed to. Uncomfortably, she tugged at her clothing, reminded of how self conscious she felt in the priestess garb and how flawless Kikyo glided in them.

Sesshomaru watched from above, his flight smooth and effortless as he flew towards the village. It sparked his curiosity to see the priestess walk in such a way. Her head was low and she fiddled with the seams of her hakama as though something was wrong with them. The scent of her tears lingered in the air, and briefly, for a short, almost non existent moment, Sesshomaru worried for her and was compelled to try and ease her sorrow. But he brushed the sentiment off as soon as it arose in him. He wished he could say it was the first time he had felt that way, but it wasn't. He wished he could say he never felt that way at all towards her, but he found himself becoming more and more preoccupied with how she was doing physically and emotionally. It was something he never admitted to anyone, and struggled to admit to himself, but he desired to protect her. Naturally, he grew angry with himself anytime these "emotions" stirred within him and shook them off violently in his mind. He was Lord Sesshomaru after all. Caring for a human, much less a priestess, such as her was, for lack of a better saying, pathetic. He would allow very few to become something of importance to him. So few in fact that he, decidedly, swore he would only care for the well being of Rin and no one else.

So to push the emotions he had briefly felt away from his mind, he began to chastise the priestess.

Cease your useless daydreaming, priestess. I have no patience to deal with the annoying villagers, or the more annoying and brash, Inuyasha.

The thought alone was enough to enrage him. He was impatience as it was already, more so than usual since he was already partially angry at himself, so his anger towards what his visit would entail was doubled.

"Lord Sesshomaru?" Jaken's irksome voice called from behind, the sound of a frog struggling to escape the clutches of a hungry cat.

"What is it Jaken?"

"Not to be rude mi-lord, but why have we come from this direction? Isn't much faster to reach the village from the direction we usually take?

"Jaken, are you questioning my decision?"

"N-N-N-N-No! Not at all mi-lord! It's just that, I-I-I… I'll just shut up now." Jaken trailed off in an impish manner that suited him well. As he waited patiently, noticing that his lord continued to stay silent, Jaken became overwhelmed with the fear that he may have angered Lord Sesshomaru, and had, consequently, shortened his lifespan. With never ending tremors, Jaken slinked back to hide himself behind Ah-Un's he could not shake from his mind just how strange his Lord had been acting lately.

Lord Sesshomaru, on the other hand, had already forgotten about Jaken. Instead, that rather short conversation had brought his thoughts back to the priestess. It was because he had sensed her here, after all, that made him decide to take this route rather than his normal journey.

That priestess would have never returned to village without my interference. Sesshomaru thought, but that wasn't true. He had come this way because he wanted to check on the priestess and see that she was alright given how far away she had traveled from the village. Another bothersome impulse brought upon by emotions Sesshomaru would deny should anyone ever ask him.

That's all for today!

Please let me know what you thought about it!

I hope yall enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!

Look out for chapter two which will be coming out soon!