this is so rated M. I would like to strongly emphasize the fact that this is my very first trollfic. Also, please don't read this.
Written for the Pewdiepie Mountain Dew fanfiction contest.
So one day, captain pewdiepie was feeling very bored on his spaceship. his spaceship was really huge (like Enterprise size but bigger), it had a bar and a jacuzzi plus a special huge room where he could watch TV (porn) with Ken and Cry without Marzia watching because he was scared Marzia would get jealous and take part (sometimes the room would get too hot for reenactment). Then suddenly, pewdiepie's monitor thingy (you know in the front where there are lights and button-thingies) flashed and his captain was online on the monitor sucking too hard on a mountain dew bottle (like because his wife was missing and he had to give someone the tongue), wiggling his elongated tongue down the bottle and in and out (he was super into it) until pewdie screamed
'OI CAPTAIN WHAT DO YOU WANT'
the captain dropped the bottle and growled at pewdie. He said 'PEWDS! I HAVE A MISSION FOR YOU." Pewds was very excited because he was bored and also Cry kept eating his doritos. "WHAT IS IT CAP'N" he screamed back. Marzia stared at him and shook her head because her boyfriend was insane.
"I NEED YOU TO FIND MY CAR KEYS."
There was a pause and everybody looked at Ken who was jumping on a sofa. He stuck out his tongue and on it were the car keys. "KEN," the captain screamed. "WHAT ARE YOU DOI-"
SUDDENLY there was a HUGE EXPLOSIONS (like bigger bigger than Michael Bay kind). A tentacle swooped into the control room and grabbed Marzia who quickly grabbed Edgar and Edgar ate the tentacle. Pewdiepie got hot and was rubbing his nipples while another tentacle swooped in and grabbed Cry. "NOOOO MY DORITOS" Cry cried cryingly cringing from the crass crude tentacles.
Anyway, Cry died.
There was a lot of explosions, and the car keys slipped out of a hole into space, together with Ken who was in a tiger suit. Meanwhile, a mountain dew bottle dropped from a shelf, rolled and fell into Pewds pants.
Anyway, that was how he lost his virginity.