Disclaimer- I don't own Fairy Tail, and I'm not receiving any profit for this story.
A/N This will be a 2-3 chapter story. There are a few things in here that aren't part of the actual show (such as Lisanna's fear of lobsters) and a few things I don't think could happen in real life (such as the deoderant catching fire) so you'll have to use your imagination.
Anyway, I hope you enjoy! :D
When Lucy shoved open the doors of the Fairy Tail Guild in the morning, she had, in no shape or form, could have ever predicted what would happen next.
"Luccccccyyyyyyy" Natsu hollered, charging over to her, "It's terrible! There's no food!"
"No food?" Lucy echoed, only half paying attention. It was eight in the morning, dammit, and while Natsu was a natural morning person, Lucy was not.
"The world's going to end!" Happy was flying over their heads, screaming as loud as he could, "No fish! There's no fish! No fish for me, no fish for Charle, no fish for anyone, and there's NO FISH!"
"Happy!" Lucy exclaimed, massaging her forehead in a useless attempt to stop an oncoming headache, "Stop screaming! You're too loud!"
"Tell me about it" Gray stormed over, a cold mist forming around his wrists, threatening to form icicles depending on where this conversation went. He, like Natsu, was also an early riser, "The flame brain hasn't stopped yelling for the past ten minutes"
"Shut up, you snowball! This is really bad. There's no food" Natus repeated, staring at Gray as though he had grown another head, "Why aren't you panicking?"
"'Cause I'm not little girl who can't go without food for two seconds"
As soon as he finished saying this, his stomach grumbled. Loudly. He looked away, embarrassed, as Natsu started laughing his head off.
"Don't worry Gray-sama!" Juvia said soothingly, appearing out of nowhere, "Juvia will happily make Gray-sama breakfast!" she ended it with a squeal, her eyes going misty as she began to fantasize.
'Juvia' a shirtless Gray with thick eyelashes and warm blue eyes looked up at a blushing Juvia weakly, 'It hurts. I can't go on any longer'
'D-don't worry Gray-sama! Juvia will help! H- hang in there!' A flushed Juvia encouraged.
'I'm not talking about food, Juvia' Gray whispered, pulling Juvia in close, 'I'm hungry for you!'
"Kyaaaaaaah!" Juvia screamed, clutching her heart, "Gray-sama, stop! Wait until we're married and have bought a house!"
Gray jerked back, "W-w-w- what are you saying? I-i-i- I don't get it..."
"No fish! No fish! No fish!" Happy wailed, sounding incredibly similar to the repetitive wail of an ambulance.
Lucy sighed, then said, "Well, why don't we just go to the supermarket?"
Absolute silence. Somehow, above the noise, the entire guild had heard her. Happy froze mid flight and stared at her, jaw hanging low.
"G-go to the supermarket?" Natsu echoed numbly.
"Yeah" said Lucy irritably, "Y'know, that big one across the road from the hospital. They sell a lot of stuff there. We'd be able to stock up"
The silence ensued for a few more painful seconds, then Natsu lunged at Lucy and strangled her in a bear-hug, "Lucy, you're so smart!" He cried out in jubilation, tears of relief streaming down his face, "The crisis has been averted. The world is saved! We have food!"
He released her from the hug just as spontaneously as he had instigated it, then turned to the airborne Exceed, "Isn't this great, Happy! Let's go shopping!"
"Aye sir!"
They took off, running straight out of the guild. Or at least, they were, until two armor clad hands grasped them by their backs.
"Natsu, Happy" Erza reprimanded, "Before you do battle, you must make a plan. Come, we shall write the shopping list"
In unison, they shouted, "Aye!"
"H-how did this happen again, Levy-chan?" Lucy asked her bluenette friend weakly.
"We were out of food, so you told Happy and Natsu to go shopping" Levy recounted perfectly, as always, "Before they could go, Erza made them write a shopping list. But no-one in the guild liked her suggestions, because they were too nutritional and beneficial. So now, the entire guild is going shopping so everyone can get what they want"
"Oh, Mavis, I thought I was dreaming" Lucy groaned, "Levy-chan, this is going to be terrible. Why did I suggest this?"
"Lu-chan, don't be so pessimistic!" Levy said, "It's just shopping. I'm sure it'll be fine"
Lucy slumped, "I doubt that"
They walked around the corner, and came face to face with the shopping centre. It was worse than Lucy could've imagined.
They were only two minutes later than everyone else, yet the supermarket looked like a war zone. Windows were cracked, and there was large, gaping hole where a wall should've been, which allowed Lucy and Levy to see inside. After standing still in pure, stunned shock, they ran inside.
The first person Lucy saw was Natsu, "Natsu!" She scolded, snatching away a pack of matches from him, "What are you doing? Have you paid for these?"
"Paid for these? Why would I pay for them?" He questioned, confused. In his right hand he held a flaming match, which he popped into his mouth, devouring the flame in an instant and spitting out the stick.
"W-why would you pay for them?" Lucy shrieked, outraged, "Oh, I don't know. Why would you pay for a house? Why would you pay for a book? Why would you pay for ANYTHING AT ALL!?"
"Lucy, you're being weird again" Natsu not so helpfully pointed out, snatching back the pack of matches. He took out a match and immediately lit it up perfectly on the first try.
"Oh, I'm being weird, am I?" She hissed, grabbing the pack of matches back from him, "Being a sensible, law abiding citizen? I'm the weird one?"
"Yeah" he told her, "You are. And stop taking my matches!" He swiped them out of her grasp and held them high, out of her reach. She stood on her tip-toes desperately trying to reach the pack. However, she lost her balance and fell against him.
"Give them!" She wailed, "They're not yours! You haven't paid for them!"
"GRAY-SAMA, SMELL JUVIA! DOESNT JUVIA SMELL WONDERFUL!?"
This odd statement made them both pause, still pressed against each other as they watched the developing scene in front of them.
Juvia had two cans of deodorant in each hand, and she was frantically spraying it all over her body as she chased after a horrified Gray.
"No! Stay back!" Gray shrieked, running faster than was humanly possible, "Go away!"
Juvia dropped the cans and started running faster, "Gray-sama, wait for Juvia! Is Gray-sama trying to be hard to get, like the magazines warned Juvia? Ahh! How wonderful! That means Gray-sama is secretly in love with Juvia!"
Natsu started laughing uncontrollably, "He sounded like a little girl! What a loser!"
The laugh reverberated throughout his entire body. There was no consequence to this, except that Lucy, whose head was currently pressed against that oh so wonderful chest... felt it, and that combined with the scent that was so inexplicably Natsu, sent the color rushing to her cheeks.
"Get away from me!" She screeched, face flushed. She jumped back, her hands shoving into his really nice chest with considerable strength as she struggled to get away.
"Lucy, what are you- woaaaahhh!" He toppled over, dropping the currently alight match into the sea of deodorant that Juvia had left behind. The deodorant immediately lit up, letting off a scent not unfamiliar to scented candles.
"Natsu, that stuffs flammable! What were you thinking?" She shouted, "Do you want to burn down the entire building?"
"I wouldn't have done it if you hadn't pushed me!"
"And I wouldn't have done it if you hadn't been eating stolen matches!"
"I wasn't eating the matches!"
"Oh, then what ate them? Did the floor eat them? Did the ceiling eat them? Oh wait, I know, the packet ate them!"
"I didn't eat the matches! I ate the fire! There's a difference"
Their quarrel was stopped by Erza, "Who started the fire?" she demanded, storming over to Natsu, grabbing him by his shirt and holding him up to her eye-level, "Natsu, why would you do something like this?"
"It wasn't me!" He protested feebly, "It was Lucy!"
"Don't lie! Why would Lucy start a fire?" Erza scolded, "Go! Fix it! Eat it quickly, before it burns anything important!"
She then threw him into the rapidly escalating blaze.
"But Erza!" He whined, "I don't wanna! It smells disgusting!"
The Requip Mage summoned a sword into her palm and pointed it at his throat. Natsu swallowed, eying the blade warily, as though weighing his options, then began to eat the flames. Only when all the flames were eaten did she sheath her sword. Ezra's methods were unorthodox, but effective. Apart from a few scorch marks, the main disaster was gone.
Natsu fell over, groaning and clutching his stomach, "That tasted horrible" he moaned.
"Lucy" Erza rounded on the blonde celestial Mage.
"Y-yes?"
"Take him home. He needs rest. We will get the rest of the food"
"But Erza-"
It was useless protesting. "Go!" Erza snapped.
"A-Aye!"
A few minutes earlier-
Levy ran along with Lucy into the increasing disaster that was the Fairy Tail shopping trip. Her eyes saw one person and immediately focused on him, and she bolted over there, dimly registering that her blonde friend was no longer beside her.
"Gajeel! What are you doing?" She scolded, snatching the crowbar he'd been gnawing on, "You know that eating stainless makes you sick! And did you pay for that?"
"Calm down, shorty" Gajeel said lazily, eying the fiery bluenette in front of him. On a first glance, Levy did not appear frightening. She was petite, and, Gajeel grudgingly supposed, kinda... Cute, too. However, after taking a second glance, it was obvious she had a bit of bite to her. Like a kitten, Gajeel reckoned. Soft and cute and cuddly but if you step on its tail then its claws are out and its hackles are raised.
Those hackles were definitely raised now. Because of worry. Because of worry for him, "I will not calm down!" She glared, "Haven't you seen what's going on? It's a disaster!"
Gajeel glanced around, taking in the scene properly for the first time since he'd entered the store. Juvia was chasing after Gray with bottles of deodorant, spraying herself so intensely that a trail of deodorant was left behind her. Elfman was filling his cart with sports drinks and coffee, shouting "Energy is manly!". Evergreen was trailing after him, shouting something incomprehensible. Salamander was eating fire while Bunny-girl tried to stop him. Happy was over by the deli, stuffing his face with fish whilst Charle put herbal tea in her shopping cart and informed him that 'This isn't the time for that!'
He looked over to the other side of the centre, and saw Makarov looking at a magazine of Sorceror weekly (most likely the modeling page). Mirajane was beside him, holding a gossip magazine and squealing to her younger sister about 'how surprising the couples are!'. Cana had found her way to the alcohol section and was drinking herself senseless, whilst Macao and Wakaba tried to flirt with the terrified workers. The workers had huddled themselves into a corner, watching the events unfold with morbid fascination.
He returned his gaze to Levy, and admitted, "Yeah, it is pretty bad. What did ya expect?"
At his admission, Levy calmed somewhat. 'And just like that' Gajeel thought to himself, 'The claws are sheathed'
"I don't know what I expected" she sighed, "Just not this. Anyway, stop distracting me! I've told you a million times to stop eating stainless steel! It's not good for you! It messes with your diet and you know it!"
"Why do you care?" Gajeel demanded, "It's my diet, it's got nothin to do with you"
Levy blushed, her face burning a deep crimson as she crossed her arms and feigned indifference, "I don't care!" She scoffed, "Do what you want!"
They stood still for a few seconds, at an impasse, as they usually ended up being in. As always, it ended with one of them relenting.
"Fine" Gajeel rolled his eyes, "I won't eat the stainless steel. You happy now, Shorty?"
"I'm not happy because I didn't care in the first place!"
"Then why did you tell me to stop eating it?"
Her voice wavered, then became firm, "Principle?"
"Principle?" He repeated, dumbfounded.
"Yes! Morals, values and principles! We've had this conversation before, Gajeel, and I think we need to have it again!"
Gajeel found himself panicking. It wasn't that he was scared. He was powerful, the big bad wolf. He was the top of the food chain, the main predator. Others feared him. But Levy's lectures...
He had a full body shudder just thinking about it. She either screamed at him- and damn, she had a set of lungs on her- making him feel like the worst person alive, or she used giant words that he would never ever understand. And if he argued, or God forbid, answered back, she would grab whatever weapon was closest to her (usually a book) and beat him senseless with it. And those books hurt. They were giant books, with hundreds of pages, and Gajeel was powerless to fight back because he wasn't a bad guy. He wouldn't hurt a female, let alone his own nakama.
But damn, when the kitten drew her claws, she was out for blood.
"No, I think I understood it the first time" he winced, his head hurting at the mere suggestion of one of Levy's torturous lectures, "You don't have to remind me"
"I think I sho-"
She was interrupted by the rapidly rising voices of Lucy and Natsu. They looked over towards the squabbling pair who seemed oblivious to the fire that was steadily escalating beside them. Erza stormed over to them and barked orders at Natsu, who was then forced to swallow the foul-smelling flames. Even though there was a distance between Gajeel and the flames, he could smell them from where he stood. They were putrid, climbing into his nose and blocking off all other scents.
He coughed, "What is that?"
Levy frowned, then grabbed Gajeel's arm, her nails digging in, "Poor Natsu, he looks terrible. Those flames must taste awful"
"They smell it" Gajeel growled, trying to regain control over his breathing. A pleasant smell invaded his nostrils, something of a mix of lemon and... Something else. Gajeel never was too good at the whole identifying different scents. There were too many names to remember.
He focused, and realized it was coming from... The petite, blue haired girl who was clutching his arm in a death grip. Specifically, her hair.
"Your hair smells nice" he murmured unconsciously, before realizing what he said and freezing.
Levy's nails dug deeper into his arm, if that was possible, "What?"
A light pink blush dusted his cheeks. He looked away, "What? Your hair smells nice. Did ya buy something expensive? Ya shouldn't waste money like that, y'know. You'd smell good no matter what you use" he was rambling now, and was relieved when Levy interrupted him.
"G-g-Gajeel!" Levy exclaimed, blushing darker than he'd ever seen on her face before, "s-s-s-st-st-st-stop sniffing me!"
"I wasn't doing it on purpose!" He retorted.
She buried her face into the arm she was clutching, "Thanks" she whispered, a small, beautiful smile gracing her face. All of a sudden, Gajeel felt really uncomfortable, like he'd been stuck in a cage. His heart beat was out of control, and his breathing was irregular. Trying to calm himself, he took a deep, slow, breath.
And the smell of her hair wafted into his nose, reminding him just why he'd been embarrassed in the place.
"It's like a never ending cycle" he muttered darkly.
"What?" She looked up at him, her eyes shining. She looked so genuinely happy, standing so close to him, clutching his arm. Oh, what the hell. She might as well stay there. It wasn't hurting anybody.
"Nothing" he said gruffly, "Look, bunny-girls taking the Salamander home. Wanna help me shop so we can head home soon too?"
She beamed, though her face turned a shade darker, "Sure!"
He got a few odd stares, but it didn't matter. If they were confused as to why the big bad wolf was hanging around with a kitten, that was their problem. At least he'd avoided one of Levy's lectures.
Meanwhile-
"Juvia, stop!" Gray yelled, "I will NOT smell you. Cut it out!"
"Gray-sama, you must advise Juvia on how to smell so that when we are married there will be no issues!"
He stopped running. They'd been running around the supermarket, and Juvia had still not left him alone, so Gray realized that the only option left was to stand and fight.
"Gray-sama!" Juvia called out happily, running towards him with her arms spread out wide. As soon as she was close enough, she was going to lunge at him and envelope him in a crushing hug which she hoped would convey her never-ending love for him.
Just as she was about to make the leap for him, however, two attractive looking women sauntered over to Gray and started talking to him. Juvia froze mid-jump and fell. She lifted her head quickly, staring at them in horror.
"You're THE Gray Fullbuster, right?" One smiled slyly, running a finger over his bare chest (he'd left his shirt somewhere during the chase from Juvia), "The one who uses ice-magic?"
"Uh, yeah" Gray muttered, scratching the back of his neck in embarrassment.
"It doesn't suit you" her friend said, tracing a finger around his jaw, "You're way too hot to be an ice magic user. Say, are you free tonight?"
"LOVE-RIVAL!" Juvia screamed, scrambling to her feet, "WATER-SLICER!"
Gray's eyes widened, "Juvia, wait!"
"GRAAAAHH!" Juvia launched a sharp, deadly blade of boiling water at the love-rivals.
"Ice-make: Shield!" He called out, splaying both palms in front of his body. The boiling water hit the ice and it melted, the steam filling the room with a hiss.
The two girls started screaming and sprinted away from the obviously agitated Juvia. Anyone would've done the same thing in their position; Juvia had a deadly aura emitting from her, and her eyes were narrowed into slits of pure rage.
"Juvia" Gray said, walking over to her one step at a time, arms raised in surrender, "It's okay. Just calm down"
"Love-rivals, bitches, ugly" Juvia muttered, water swirling around her, "Trying to steal Gray-sama away from me... Hah! As if Gray-sama would be interested in the likes of them"
"Oi, Juvia, snap out of it" Gray took another step closer, "C'mon, pull yourself together"
Juvia looked up at him, hurt replacing the anger on her features, "Gray-sama?" Juvia asked, distraught, "How could you let them touch you? How could you protect them? They are filthy, not worthy of your time-"
"Knock it off, Juvia!" Gray glared, "I'm a mage of Fairy Tail. In case you haven't noticed, we don't stand around and let innocents get killed. You should know this by now, Juvia!"
Juvia flinched, "Yes" she said sadly, "I know. But when Juvia saw those... People, touching you, Juvia got angry. I beg your forgiveness, Gray-sama"
"And that's another thing" Gray continued, exasperated, "Stop treating me like I'm the worlds savior or something. I'm no-one special, Juvia. You shouldn't be willing to kill people for touching me- heck, you shouldn't be killing people for me at all! I'm just me, Juvia. I'm not worth your love, or whatever this is"
"Your wrong, Gray-sama!" Juvia protested, "Gray-sama is kind, and gentle, and he is worth all of Juvia's love!"
"No, you're wrong Juvia!" Gray took a step closer, "I'm not. You've just said that I'm kind and gentle. When have I ever been kind and gentle to you?"
"You shouldn't have to ask, Gray-sama! You always are!"
"When, Juvia?"
She paused, staring at him, trying to call forth a sufficient answer. She couldn't.
"Exactly" Gray said, "Juvia, are you sure you actually love me? Or do you love your fantasies of me?"
It struck Gray as odd, that he was finally talking to Juvia about her romantic feelings for him inside of a supermarket.
"I love you, Gray-sama" Juvia said, and the conviction in her voice made Gray's eyes widen a fraction, "Juvia loves Juvia's fantasies of Gray-sama, but Juvia loves the real Gray-sama more. So please, don't let people touch Gray-sama like that again" Juvia gave a full body shudder, "Please grant Juvia that one piece of selfish desire"
"Juvia..." Gray murmured, stunned. Of course, he hadn't been oblivious to Juvia's feelings before, but he hadn't realized that they'd been so real. He'd thought for sure Juvia was in love with the idea of him, not the real him. And all of a sudden, it felt as though a huge burden had been placed upon him. Mavis, this girl was actually in love with him. Even though he'd been nothing but a douche to her, "I'm sorry" he apologized, sincere, "I'm sorry for treating you the way I have. I'll try to change"
Juvia waved her arms around in panic, "Don't do that, Gray-sama!" She protested, "Juvia loves Gray-sama the way he is now!"
"Please, grant me that one piece of selfish desire" he said, quoting her.
Juvia stared at him, then smiled and bowed, "Of course, whatever you wish, Gray-sama"
"Whatever I wish?" He echoed, grinning, "Firstly, cut the Gray-sama. Just call me Gray. Secondly, if you want to talk to me, don't hide behind a pole and stalk me, just walk up and-"
"Wait, Gray-sama!" Juvia interupted, "Let Juvia find a notepad. Juvia must take notes!"
Makarov sighed as he viewed the wreckage of the shopping center. This was most definitely going to require paperwork, and Makarov hated paperwork. Especially ones about reparation costs and reasons for wreckage- those were especially tedious, asking stupid questions like, 'When did the incident take place?' Or, 'Where did the incident take place?'
The answers Makarov put were, respectively, 'When the giant explosion was heard' and 'Wherever that spoiled brat Natsu is'
According to the council, these answers were not satisfactory. But after years of answering the exact same questions repeatedly, Makarov's patience was long gone. It was replaced by a weary reluctance that there would never be another person whom he could entrust Fairy Tail to. After all, they were his brats, and his problems. He just wished they weren't his paperwork.
"Master?" Mirajane asked, a beautiful smile gracing her face. She was holding up two different detergents, "Which one should I buy?"
He pointed to the one on the right, "That one"
Honestly, he had no clue what either of them where. But since this was the fourteenth time Mira had asked for his opinion on all sorts of mundane items, Makarov had decided to pick the item on the right every time. It saved him a headache.
"I see! Good choice, Master!" Mira beamed, placing the detergent in her basket. She then began to hum a tune unknown to Makarov as she continued to browse through the items.
"Hey, Mira-nee" Lisanna asked, "We need milk, don't we?"
"Ah, you're right, we do!"
"Before that" Makarov sighed, "Can you go stop Cana? She's had a bit too much to drink"
The Strauss sisters glanced over to the liquor section, but Cana was no where to be found.
"Not there" Makarov corrected, pointing over to the deli section, "There"
Cana was clutching a bottle in her hand, threatening the shopkeeper. She waved the bottle around in agitation, then pointed at the lobster section. The shopkeeper was saying something, though he was clearly intimidated by the drunk Fairy Tail mage.
Mirajane walked over to her, "My, my, Cana, what's wrong?"
"They're keeping the lobsters here!" Cana slurred, her body swaying in different directions as she tried to keep her balance, "They're keeping the lobsters here against their will!
"Yeah, they are, Cana" Lisanna said, puzzled, "This is the deli section. They sell seafood"
"How can there be democracy if the lobsters don't have a vote!" Cana demanded, pointing her bottle at the mildly attractive shopkeeper, "Just because you're hot, doesn't mean execution is fair!"
Mirajane grabbed one of Cana's arms and started leading her away, "Cana, let's leave for now, okay? We'll free the lobsters some other time"
With surprising force, Cana pulled her arm away from Mirajane and half ran, half toppled towards the bucket with lobsters. She crashed into it, and the lobsters spilled out, crawling all over the floor.
"M-Mira-nee!" Lisanna screamed, pointing at the lobsters, "Get rid of them! I hate lobsters"
Cana glared, "All living creatures deserve liberty! Whether you like them or not!" She lunged at Lisanna and the two fell to the floor. It turned into an epic cat fight, with sharp nails and both sides yanking each other's hair.
"Get off me!" Lisanna screeched, "Let me get up! They'll crawl on me! We're right next to them! Cana, you bitch, get off of me!"
"No!" The drunk Cana hollered, "Let them crawl on you! Let them crawl over your hate in their righteous quest for freedom!"
"When did you become an activist for animal rights!?"
They were so engaged in their fight that they didn't notice Mirajane transform into Satan Soul. She stormed over to them and grabbed them up by the front of their shirts.
"Enough!" She commanded, and both girls nodded fearfully, "Cana, you know Lisanna hates lobsters! Put one near my sister again and I will kill you. Slowly" she then rounded in Lisanna, "Lisanna! Don't ever fight like that again! I thought I taught you that violence doesn't solve anything!"
"That's just 'cause you're a wimpy pacifist" Cana said, her voice surprisingly clear despite her inebriated state, "You wouldn't hurt a fly, you wuss"
It took Mirajane ten seconds to prove Cana wrong.
"C-Cana! Are you okay?"
"Okay? I'm okay. I'm fine" Cana was rocking in the corner, the lobsters she'd freed crowding around her, forming a protective circle of comfort, "Mirajane isn't scary. She isn't scary at all"
Lisanna would've comforted her, but Cana was surrounded by lobsters, so she stayed away. Looking around for her older sister, she saw that Mirajane was now back in normal form and speaking comfortingly to the shopkeeper, who looked both flattered by the attention of a woman as pretty as Mirajane and frightened by what he'd seen her do moments earlier.
Lisanna watched the scene and smiled. There was nowhere else she'd rather be.