DISCLAIMER: I don't own them. We all know this.
Anyway.
"You do know this ain't an undercover operation, right, sir?"
"Sure I do," Mal says, looking all round him for familiar profiles. Bad guys. Contacts. Kaylee. Anyone who oughtn't to see him here.
Zoe's almost smirking, which is close enough to smiling for Mal not to mind it. "You know Kaylee's out the other side of town with Simon and River. Ain't no way she can spot you here."
"Ain't Kaylee I'm worried about," Mal mutters, stepping past a man selling what might have been sausages.
"Oh?" says Zoe, all innocence, and Mal can tell she's enjoying this. He ain't heard that tone in far too long. "There something you ain't been telling me?"
"I do business with the folks in this town, Zoe. I got a reputation. And that reputation don't include visiting shops like that!" He points across the square to their destination. "It sells pink things! And jewelry! And girl... things!"
"Girl things? Sir?" Zoe's doing that thing with her eyebrows and he's got no doubt it means she's laughing at him. Seems all he's going to be doing today is making a fool out of himself.
"Girl things." Mal scans the crowd one last time, figures it's as safe as it's going to be, and starts out across the square, Zoe keeping pace at his side.
"You want to elaborate on that, sir? Girl things?"
Mal shakes his head, and pushes the shop door open. Turns out there's a bell above the door that tinkles when it's opened and Mal can't help feeling like that bell's mocking him just as much as Zoe is.
This really ain't fair, but it has to be done.
Mal ain't never been much of a one for shopping. He don't like to poke and prod around at things, trying to find out the best prices, haggling and bargaining, and inevitably half the time when he gets back to the ship someone complains. Used to be he'd send Wash and Zoe for the shopping, but nowadays he mostly sends Kaylee. Girl can drive a hard bargain between those eyes and that smile.
Buys his own bullets though. That's something a man got to do for himself. Buys clothes on occasion too, when his boots wear so thin he can near see through them, or when he runs out of clothes that don't have bullet holes in them.
He'd always told himself he weren't never going to buy fripperies or trinkets or any of that. Weren't right for a man like him to spend coin on useless things, or to be seen by folks he knows, contacts and the like, loitering at them sorts of shops.
Only thing is, it's Kaylee's birthday in a few days, and either he gets her something pretty or he gets her engine parts, and much as he knows she'd love the parts they ain't fit for a present. Pretty things it is, then, and that's why he brought Zoe with him. After all, she's a woman.
It smells in this shop: incense, which he only knows 'cause of Inara (that shuttle's never smelled the same since she left), and something flowery that he can't quite put his finger on. Not only that, there's more pink things and shiny things in this one shop than Mal had figured existed in the whole 'verse. He feels mighty stupid standing here, big and gawky and out of place, and he don't like that feeling. He ain't good at not being in control.
For a second he thinks he should bring Kaylee here so he can see her eyes light up, and then let her pick. But he's always figured the best presents ought rightfully to be surprises, and he wants Kaylee's birthday to be perfect. He's always known there ain't much he can give her, not living this kind of life.
He pokes at some lengths of pink ribbon, trying to figure out what Kaylee might do with it. "Can't just go buying her anything, though."
"Well, you'll have to buy something soon if we want to make it to Boros on time."
Mal gives up on the ribbons. A little too flimsy, maybe, and not so much of a present. Anyway, he still can't think what she might want them for. Her hair? Maybe tie them on her overalls? Decorating their bunk? Hell, he ain't going to sleep looking at pink ribbons, not for any love in the 'verse, much less waking up with them in his face.
So. Not ribbons, then. Pretty underthings? There's no denying that they're real pretty - or at least, that's what Kaylee'd call them. Him being a man, a few other words might be a little more appropriate. They come in all sorts of colours: pink and red and cream and white and black and a dozen others besides.
He hooks a finger around something made mostly of red lace for closer inspection. Well, it doesn't look real comfortable, whatever it's called, but when he pictures Kaylee in it -
"I don't think that's your size, sir."
Mal steps backwards, tries to pretend he was looking elsewhere. "Don't recall asking for your input, Zoe."
"You telling me you brought me along on this little excursion just for the fun of it?"
"Brought you along to give me a bit of womanly advice should I so need it."
"Figure you need it, sir."
"When I ask for it," he says, doing his best not to sound like some old grouch, that being the best way he can think of to get Zoe teasing him even more.
"When you ask for it. Sir." Zoe comes close to smiling again. "So you're not asking for it now?"
Mal grits his teeth. "Zoe, maybe you should go look at them ribbons. Might find a colour you like."
He watches from the corner of his eye as she bypasses the ribbons and goes to loiter by the door. He's fairly sure she's doing better these days. Seems different, anyhow - not so much happier as more peaceful, though there's still a real edge to her when she's roused. He took a gamble asking her to come with him today, not wanting to rub in her face that he's got someone and she's still mourning her husband but it seems to be paying off okay. She's still here, for one thing, and she's smirking at him for another.
Well, then.
So, not pretty underthings for Kaylee. It occurs to him that he mostly likely wouldn't get the right size, and that could be a little embarrassing.
Perhaps next time they're in town he'll bring her here without Zoe in tow and they can see about some of them underthings.
Across the other side of the room there's rows of pretty perfume bottles on shelves. Mal goes over, steadfastly ignoring Zoe playing sentinel at the door, and starts picking up bottles at random and sniffing at them. They're all pretty nice, 'cept for the combination of a dozen scents and the burning incense is threatening to give him a headache. He's not sure how a man's supposed to figure out what a girl wants to smell like. And would she get the idea Mal thinks she smells bad? 'Cause she don't. She smells pretty nice, most of the time, when she's not covered head to toe in grease and oil.
Well, you can always count on Kaylee to take a gift the right way, all happiness and excitement. There's probably no need to worry, but even so he doesn't want to try and figure which of these bottles she'd like best. Chances are he'd make a wrong call.
On to the jewelry, then; necklaces and bracelets and earrings and other sparkly things. There're some stuff Kaylee might like, with hearts on them, or flowers, or the symbol for "love", but none of them sit quite right with him. They're akin to the cheap and tacky necklaces that were all the rage as gifts when he were in school, and Mal's all grown up now. He wants something that really means something.
'Sides, Malcolm Reynolds don't buy things with hearts on 'em, not even for Kaylee.
Well, he would if she wanted it. Seems he's a bit of a sucker for his girl and her eyes. But even so. There's something not right about a man buying things that are all over little pink hearts.
Hanging behind the heart necklaces is one made of a delicate silver chain with a bunch of shining silver stars dangling from it.
Stars. Stars for pretty Kaylee, who likes being out in the black just as much as he does. Seems right, somehow. Mal detangles the necklace from the others and lays it over his palm. The price tag indicates it's a bit more than he's been planning to spend, but this is something to last longer than strawberries and kisses.
Kaylee deserves to have something to hang on to for the day he comes back to the ship all corpsified, 'cause that's day's going to come sure as eggs is eggs. He knows it, and he's fair sure she's trying not to know it.
Mal's pretty sure he doesn't need Zoe's advice on this one. Could have left her on the ship to play Tall Card with Jayne - but no, it were kind of nice to have to company, to feel like old times just for a bit listening to her talk. He pays for the necklace and watches as it's wrapped away in pink and silver paper. He tucks it away in a coat pocket with a few stray bullets and a knife and, hoping they ain't been seen by any folk as knows him, he and Zoe head back to Serenity in time for Zoe to stash the necklace in her bunk to make sure Kaylee won't stumble on it between now and her birthday.
"First time you've bought a girl a present?"
"Could be."
Zoe raises an eyebrow and smirks again. Mal's just about to come up with some cutting remark when three folk in boots come clattering in, River at full tilt, Kaylee close behind, and the doc being all sedate as usual, carrying River's picnic basket. "Take it you had a good picnic then?" Mal asks as Kaylee pokes River in the arm, apparently the conclusion of some game they've been playing, and comes over for a kiss.
"Sure. River fed the ducks and we all had strawberries."
"Quack," says River, solemnly.
Mal doesn't laugh. That would be undignified and uncaptain-ly. "Well, then. Glad you all had a good day." Being unable to resist, Mal puts an arm about Kaylee's shoulders and squeezes her tight. "So, if we're all present and accounted for, might be time to get ourselves off this rock. It's a long ride to Boros."
Serenity breaks atmo near on ten minutes later. With River at the helm and Simon, as always, hovering over her shoulder it gives a man a chance to steal a few hours in his bunk with a pretty girl, and to think about lacy underthings.
Definitely got to visit that shop again next time they're in town... might be an idea to leave Zoe behind, though.
THE END