Summary: When Father tries to absorb God, the Gate opens. Meanwhile, in a parallel universe, Ed is killed by Envy and resurrected by Alphonse. Due to how close the three are to the Gate, they, along with Rose, her baby, Wrath, and Hohenheim, get pulled into the wrong world. Hilarity ensues.

No matter how similar two worlds are, they will never be the same. No two things will occur at the exact same time and place in two different worlds. Unless, of course, one has a Philosopher's Stone. So Edward Elric, Alphonse Elric, Father, May Chang, Izumi Curtis, Van Hohneheim, Roy Mustang, and Pride were all shocked when the Gate opened up in front of them and dropped out six figures, five of them male, four of them vaguely recognizable, three of them yelling, two of them fighting, and one of them holding a baby.

Ed stared at the suit of armor, so similar to his brother's. Hohenheim stared at the man who looked like a younger (and less blonde) version of himself. Al stared at the girl with the baby who looked suspiciously like Rose Thomas, save for her dark skin color and pink bangs. Izumi stared at the boy lying on the ground in pain (presumably due to the recent loss of his left leg and right arm) who looked like an older version of her dead son. Pride looked at the baby, vaguely curious (no one had told him how babies were made, as Father had decided that only Lust and Greed had really needed to know). Father stared at the two boys trying to murder each other, one of them almost identical to Edward Elric, and the other similar to Envy (save for coloring and the fact that he (?) actually seemed to know how to fight). Mustang didn't stare at anything. Firstly, Madame Christmas had taught him that staring was rude. Secondly, he was still blind and couldn't have stared at anything even if he had felt obligated to. Luckily, May was there and stared for him.

"Die, pipsqueak!" the Envy-lookalike was yelling.

"WHO'RE YOU CALLING SO SMALL HE COULDN'T EVEN REACH THE KITCHEN SINK?" the Ed-lookalike yelled right back.

"How did I get here?" the Hohenheim-lookalike asked.

"What's going on? Where am I?" the Rose-lookalike asked. She looked down at herself. "What am I wearing?"

"I want my mommy!" the unknown child wailed. The two suits of armor glanced at each other.

"Hi, I'm Alphonse Elric." One of them said, extending his hand.

"Really?" the other asked. "What a coincidence – My name is Alphonse Elric too! That's my brother Ed, our friend Rose, our dad, and our enemies, Envy and Wrath." He glanced at his brother. "I should help Brother out." This turned out to be unnecessary, as Hohenheim-lookalike's question had caught the other Envy's attention, and the Homunculus had decided to try and kill him instead. Oddly enough, the other Ed didn't seem to want to help him. Eventually, Hohenheim took pity on his doppelganger and created a wall between him and Envy.

Envy would have probably thrown a temper tantrum had the child on the floor, who was somehow still alive, grabbed his ankle. Distracted, the green-haired shape shifter glanced down.

"Envy," the kid whined. "It hurts." Envy stared at him.

"Duh, moron." He sneered. "You got your arm and leg torn off."

"So do something," the boy complained. Envy's gaze was nothing less than incredulous.

"Wrath." He said flatly. "You are a Homunculus. You can re-grow your bloody limbs." The kid pouted.

"But then I won't be able to do alchemy," he pointed out. Envy rolled his eyes.

"So? Make like the rest of us and deal with it." He grinned. "Then again, if you hadn't gone and pissed Master off, you might have your arm and leg still. Hell, you might even be human now. That's what you wanted, right?" The boy nodded, but the Ed-lookalike cut in before the child could say anything.

"Dante wouldn't have made them human even if she knew how!" he yelled, pointing angrily. "And they were my limbs in the first place!" the boy – Wrath – stuck out his tongue and pulled down his eyelid with his remaining arm.

"Finders keepers, shrimp," he taunted. Ed's eye twitched.

"WHO'RE YOU CALLING AN ITSY BITSY LITTLE BEAN?" he yelled. The first Ed groaned.

"Was I ever that loud?" he asked. There were several nods. Hohenheim's double stepped out from behind the wall.

"I don't suppose you know where we are," he said. "It's not our world, and it's certainly not the world beyond the Gate." He never got an answer, because Envy and Ed – for the first time in history – teamed up to kill him. Al sighed.

"Why is everybody I know extremely immature?" he grumbled to nobody in particular. Rose was still very confused.

"Why are there two Ed's? Why are the two Al's? Who are you? Does anyone have a spare diaper? Where am I? Why does it look like Amestris exploded? Who's the guy in the toga? Where did Lyra go?" she asked.

"You ask a lot of questions," Envy told her, annoyed. She blinked.

"Do I?"

"Yes!"

"All stupidity aside," the other Ed broke in. "Rose has a point." It was Envy's turn to look surprised.

"She does?" he asked. Other Ed nodded.

"Yeah, see, the last thing I remember is an asshole with daddy issues stabbing me through the heart and killing me, then jumping into the Gate shrieking like a howler monkey and– holy crap, are you Scar?" Scar, having just arrived at the surface, looked completely clueless.

"Aren't I usually?" he asked, slightly sarcastic due to having an extremely angsty backstory that he was certain would never be resolved.

"Yeah, but you turned into a Philosopher's Stone!" Al told him. Scar stared.

"Are you sure?" he asked. "I think I'd remember that." Envy snorted.

"No, it was definitely you," he said. "I remember because someone–" he shot the child on the ground a dark look, "–killed Lust just a bit after." The child scowled.

"She was a traitor." He whined. Envy started stomping on his back. "Ow!"

"Shut up," Scar told Envy. "You don't have the right to talk after what you did." Envy shrugged.

"So I killed Ed – whoop-de-do." He continued stomping on Wrath.

"But I'm still alive," Ed pointed out. "Besides, you killed Hughes."

"You killed Hughes?" Other Ed asked, turning to look at the Homunculus.

"Uh, who's Hughes again?" Envy asked. "I've killed a lot of people. I can't be expected to remember them all."

"You turned into his wife and shot him," Mustang spoke up. "You can't tell me you've forgotten, especially not after you bragged about it." Envy stared at him.

"'Hi, I'm Envy, nice to meet you too,'" he said sarcastically. "I know who you are, kind of, but where do you get off acting like we've met before?"

"We have," Riza told him. "Ed was there too."

"I was?" Other Ed asked. "I don't remember that."

"No – she means me," Ed told him. Rose started smacking her head against the nearest wall, hoping that something would start making sense. It didn't.