A Hundred Envy Sentences
Breathe
His first breath in his new life is ragged and gasping and terrifying and wonderful all at the same time.
Heartbeat
It's been centuries since his heart last beat, but not long enough to have forgotten the feeling.
Eyes
Not one of the other Homunculi, not even Wrath, had the same biting loneliness hidden within the recesses of his eyes that he saw every single time he looked in a mirror.
Near
When he was human, he recalls, he was always near his family, because there was no better place to be.
Far
Regardless of what he tells himself, Dante and the others aren't family – the only person he considers family (though he won't admit it) is far, far away.
Hello
He probably should have seen it coming, but he'd be damned if it hadn't hurt when That Bastard had seen him – four hundred years later – and spoken only one word (but, really, what else could he say?).
Goodbye
As he is sacrificed to open a portal to Amestris, he wonders if it was ever really worth it, and silently says goodbye to the boys who, had things been different, might have called him 'brother'.
Truth
Ed calls it 'Truth', he knows, and while he's not sure that that's the best way to describe it, he can't think of a better one.
Lies
Everything about him is a lie, even his appearance, and it kills him every time he looks at someone who hasn't spent the last four centuries lying to themselves in a pathetic attempt to feel remotely human.
Life
He doesn't quite understand why humans cling so desperately to life – they'll all die in the end, anyway.
Death
Unlike the other Homunculi, his bones are long gone, having returned to the Earth they came from, taking with them his only chance of redemption.
Red
The tattoo on his thigh seems to glow at times – like a highly luminescent bloodstain that can never be washed away.
White
White is the color of innocence, he thinks, and he chuckles quietly to himself when he realizes that Dante has never – not even for a wedding – worn a white dress.
Blue
Wrath's eyes were blue, before he corrupted him, and he wasn't sure why he remembered, or whether or not it was bad that he did.
Black
Nothing about him is black, he's certain of it, but when that deep, bubbling hatred inside of him rises to the surface, he can't help but see it as black.
Yellow
He remembers summer, and running through the yellowing fields with his friends, although the fields have been long destroyed.
Purple
Purple symbolizes royalty, so it's a little odd that Pride, the leader of an entire country, is the only Homunculus without purple eyes – his are green, ironically enough.
Green
His hair is green, he knows (and Dante knows it too, that bitch), because of the stories his father had told him about dragons when he was a child.
Orange
Orange shouldn't be a color, he thinks, because people could too easily confuse it with a fruit (just as they could too easily confuse him as a girl).
Human
He claims to be the only Homunculus without any desire to become human, but he can't help but wonder if becoming human would make his father love him again.
Homunculus
When Dante had come up with the name for the species, he had protested, saying it was demeaning – she hadn't cared.
Tears
Sometimes, when it's just him and there's nobody else home, he sneaks up into his room, crawls on the bed, and cries.
Mother
He wonders if she loves him – if she ever did – but decides that some things are better left unsaid.
Father
He tries not to think about That Bastard, but it's so difficult when they look so similar – even after he's changed everything about himself, he can still see the hated resemblance that he secretly craves.
Her
He remembers Her face – not Her name, never Her name – and he thinks he might have loved Her once.
Him
He thinks about the man who had been his best friend when they were children, until the boy's mother said that the Emperor of Xing's thirteenth son should not be seen in the presence of the son of a slave.
Armor
Greed's shield, Ed's mask, Al's (quite literal) armor – none of them compare to the facade he has been holding onto for centuries.
Weapon
He is the most efficient weapon Dante has, because he'll do anything to ensure she doesn't abandon him and she knows it.
Shield
He's taken a bullet for her more times than he's needed to, and, as he watches from the shadows, he realizes that he doesn't intend to stop.
Master
It can be hard to tell who's really in charge, or who's manipulating whom.
Slave
He knows his father was once a slave, and he wonders why that particular memory has been so firmly fastened to his mind.
Love
He can remember it, the way it felt, how it made his heart beat faster every time She walked into the room, and it takes decades to convince himself that he doesn't care.
Hate
It's not his father he hates, nor his mother, Greed, Pride, siblings (biological or otherwise), alchemists, or humans in general – it's himself.
Silence
Everything seems to quiet down as his father's alchemically created spear pierces his heart, and, as he takes the blow meant for his mother, he wonders if anybody will miss him, because it would have been nice if his existence had meant something to somebody.
Noise
Babies, he knows, are loud and annoying and stinky and do gross things, and he doesn't quite like (or understand) the memories that show up in his head when Dante tells him to hold Rose's baby while the hypnotized girl dances.
War
He wasn't a part of the Ishvalan War, though he did watch as the instigators were turned into chimeras, and he's kind of glad he wasn't the one to pull the trigger – killing children is hard, even for him.
Peace
He stands over the grave he made, knowing the Elric Brothers are behind him, waiting for the opportunity to attack, and he wonders if they're surprised when he kneels down in the dirt and softly tells the woman who was once his mother that he hoped she'd found peace in the end.
Sun
The sun shines brightly on the freshly spilled blood, turning it into fallen orange peaches, and he hates himself a little more each time he notices.
Moon
The moon, he decides, is a good thing, because it makes him feel like he's not alone in the world – like he's surrounded by a million glittering stars.
Religion
As an Alchemist, he never was one for religion, but he thinks that maybe that Rose girl is right – believing in something can be nice.
Angel
He remembers Her face (but he denies it; always denies it), more beautiful than anything he's ever seen, and he thinks that maybe angels do exist.
Demon
Their corpses litter the streets, blood slowly painting the sidewalk red, and, trying to remember a time when he still cared, he thinks that maybe all those religious nuts were right – demons are real.
Brother
He refuses to think of Edward or the other Homunculi as his brothers, but he doesn't think he'd mind it if Alphonse would call him 'brother' for a change.
Sister
Lust, he declares to himself, is the most wonderful thing in the world, because he can talk to her and she won't tell anyone, because she understands how much rejection hurts, and because she's willing to love him, even when no one else will.
Daughter
He watches Nina Tucker's transformation into a chimera, and feels sorry for the girl – having your father turn you into a monster is never fun.
Son
Selim Bradley, he thinks, is quite a bit like he used to be – always wanting to please, but never quite measuring up to expectations.
Water
Water should be a clear, crystalline color, and he can't quite explain why the Red Water makes him feel sick to his stomach.
Fire
He watches the Alchemist snap his fingers, burning his enemies to death, and he thinks that maybe lack of emotions can be a good thing.
Earth
That Winry girl is really something, he laughs to himself, watching her brain Ed with a wrench, sending him face first into the dirt.
Air
Lyra, Dante's newest apprentice, uses some sort of Wind Alchemy, and he vaguely recalls having known someone else who did that as a human.
Lightning
Lightning (or lightening, as it was once spelled) is a very strange thing – like him, it is both beautiful and deadly, an unstoppable force of nature.
Thunder
When Wrath sneaks into his bedroom, terrified of the roaring winds and raging thunder, he can't help but feel sorry for the boy, and he pretends not to notice the small body curling against him as the shaking subsides.
Smile
It's been so long since his last true smile, but when Dante wraps her arms around him, assuring him that she still loves him, he can't help but grin like an idiot for the rest of the week.
Joy
He is surprisingly glad when he learns of Lust's death, and he thinks it's because he's happy for her – she got what she wanted, after all.
Sorrow
He is sad when he hears of Selim Bradley's death, because the boy had had such a long life ahead of him, and it had been cut off just as abruptly as his own – sometimes he wonders if anybody in the world is a good father, until he thinks of Maes Hughes, and wishes that the man didn't have to die.
Hugs
He wraps his arms around the girl whose father he had shot and hugged her, apologizing, saying he'd try to be there for her – and he would try, he had to, because nobody had been there for him.
Kisses
He kisses his mother's worn, leathery cheek and assures her that she's still beautiful to him.
Birth
When Dante looks at her son, she can't help but remember the agonizing pain of giving birth, and decides that, really, it wasn't worth it.
Rebirth
How ironic, he thinks, that now his mother adored him and his father ignored him, whereas before it had been the other way around.
Replacement
He watches Edward Elric playing with his father (no, my father, mine), and feels a sting of resentment towards his… replacement.
Clone
If Edward was his replacement, then Wrath was his clone – the boy dressed and acted exactly the way he did, making him think it was hero-worship.
Alchemy
He despises Alchemy, because, despite having once been an Alchemist himself, Alchemy has destroyed so many lives – his included (but it's also saved so many, and he can't help but wish he could do Alchemy again).
Mortal
They'll all die eventually, he knows, and all he needs to do is wait – after all, they're only human.
Immortal
Homunculi will live forever (unless they're killed enough times) and humans won't (unless they switch bodies like his mother and father), so he pretends to ignore the fact that, sometimes, the exception doesn't prove the rule.
Pain
As much as he hates pain, he also craves it, because it's a reminder that he can keep moving, that he's stronger now.
Apology
He smiles at them as he dies, congratulating them on a job well done, and apologizing for not being the older brother he should have been, and he's glad to see that, somehow, they've managed to forgive him.
Books
Books were always his favorite source of entertainment as a child, and he still enjoys reading quite a bit (although not as much as he enjoyed the look on Ed's face when the blond bumped into him in the library).
Memory
He remembers a little girl running through those beautiful fields, and he thinks she looks a lot like the gorgeous woman – but she also looks quite a bit (terrifyingly so) like him.
Game
It's all a game to him, really, but once you've lived for four hundred years, so is pretty much everything.
Shot
He doesn't regret pulling the trigger, because, in his eyes, he's doing the human a favor – this way he doesn't have to be part of a Philosopher's Stone.
Friend
He never really believed in them, but, watching Greed partying with those Chimeras, he thinks that having friends might be a good thing after all.
Enemy
The enemy, to him, has always been his father, but sometimes he thinks it might really be himself.
Thanksgiving
He's not all that thankful for anything, really, until Lust wraps her arms around him and Gluttony, pulling them into a bear hug.
Birthday
Dante's forgotten again, he knows, so he goes back to where Xerxes once was (home, he thinks absently), and sits on his grave until sunset – he pretends not to notice the shadow behind him as it sets down a small box wrapped in brightly-colored paper with his name on it.
Away
His father is gone, his mother says, far, far away, and it's his fault, and sometimes he can't help but wish his father had taken him away too.
Home
Home, he decides, isn't a place anymore (because Xerxes is gone now), but a person instead, and when Lust wishes him a happy birthday and apologizes for forgetting, he thinks she might be 'where the heart is'.
Milk
Edward's dislike of milk makes no sense, seeing as he likes stew, but it also makes no sense because he says he won't drink it because it's from a cow, and he wonders if Ed would've liked the goat milk they'd had back in Xerxes.
Chocolate
Chocolate is one the best things ever, and can solve any problem at all, from sibling rivalry to attempted patricide.
Scream
Sometimes, when he's alone and there's nobody else around (except Lust and Gluttony, who are always there, because they're his… friends?), he walks out into the woods and screams his lungs out, scaring off the birds and stray humans, because even the Ultimate Liar can't keep things bottled up forever.
Regret
He can't feel regret, of course, or anything like it, but, as he watches Maes Hughes's body fall to the ground, he thinks it would be nice if he could.
Phone
He talks to Sloth – who is still pretending to be Juliet Douglass – over the phone, and thinks that maybe his father wouldn't have abandoned him had Trisha Elric been his mother.
Funeral
He stays for Hughes's funeral, though he's not sure why, and watches Mustang cry for the man, wondering if anyone ever cried for him.
Gain
Dante does not allow the Homuculi to have possessions, which is probably why Greed left, but he knows that he doesn't need any possessions, because he is a possession – hers, obviously – and she easily gains his trust and love, only to shatter it by abandoning him (like everyone always does).
Loss
His father apologizes to him, even as he's biting the man like a dog bites a bone, and if dragons had tear ducts, he'd probably cry.
Door
Hohenheim stands outside the door, listening to the beeping sound coming from his eldest son's heart monitor, and hopes that maybe Ed and Al can forgive him for what he's about to do.
Gate
He tears open the Gate, kicking and screaming, demanding to see his father, and Ed watches the doors slam shut as he cries for the older brother he never knew he had.
Secret
He has a lot of secrets – some that Greed knows, some that Dante knows, some that Lust knows, etc. – but he thinks his best-kept secret is about Wrath (sometimes he wishes the boy weren't a Homunculus, because nobody that young should be).
Dance
Rose, he thinks, is a lot like that nameless girl, and he hates that he can't really help but love her for it.
Mirror
He looks in the mirror, sees golden eyes and tawny hair, and smashes the mirror with his fist – the image remains.
Fight
His body twists and turns as he effortlessly dodges his younger brother's attacks, and he can't help but notice how similar their fighting styles are.
Taunt
Edward's face taunts him in his sleep, and, though he can't help but despise just how much the boy has taken from him, he almost feels sorry when he kills him – almost, but not quite.
Dream
He remembers things from his past when he dreams, and sometimes he wishes he could just go to sleep and never wake up.
Nightmare
He's woken up screaming before, Lust thinks, but he's never needed to cry into her shoulder – sometimes she wonders just how much he's been through, and how long it took him to break.
Pride
He despises Pride, mainly because the man is an arrogant prick, but also because Dante favors Pride over him.
Lust
Lust is not a lover or a sister or anything like that to him, and he isn't quite sure he knows what she is.
Gluttony
Gluttony is as small and stupid as a child, and he knows that the fat man isn't trying to steal Lust from him, but hates him for it anyway.
Greed
Greed had once been his stepfather (still was, in a sense), and he wondered if the younger Homunculus had ever actually loved Dante – or if he still did.
Wrath
Wrath confuses him at times, but he isn't surprised when the boy ends up helping the Elrics in the end.
Sloth
Sloth reminds him of Trisha Elric, obviously, and sometimes he wishes she were still the woman his father had loved.
Envy
He can't help but blame others for having something he doesn't, even if it isn't their fault, because that's just how he is – because his name is Envy.