Written for a friend's birthday~!
It wasn't often that Minato had dreams. When he did, it was always the same cryptic dream, one that he never truly understood. It was so familiar and yet so distant, almost as if it had happened countless times before.
*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*
Minato woke up in cold sweat, breathing heavily. He blinked rapidly, eyes trying to adjust to the dimness of his room. He ran a hand through his hair as he tried to get his breathing under control. He looked at the small clock beside him, the red display glowing 12:00. He heaved out a deep sigh, falling back against his pillow.
It had been a long time since Minato had last had a dream. The last time he recalled was several months ago, when he had first moved into the dorm. That wasn't the first time either, he'd had this same dream even as a child. For some reason it had always been there, almost as if it were a part of him. Minato laid his arm over his eyes, trying to recall the dream before it faded away from his mind once more.
*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*
It was cold and dark, but he could hear a myriad of voices surrounding him. Minato tried to turn to see who was calling him, but he was unable to move an inch. It felt as though he was suspended in place, unable to reach the desperate cries of his name that were coming from all directions at once.
He tried to open his eyes, but all he saw was darkness. Moving was impossible, and so he chose to listen to the voices in hopes of finding out where he was. It was a mixture of voices that seemed impossibly familiar calling out to him. It felt as though he had known these people for a lifetime, though he barely had any friends at all.
Each voice pierced his heart, he could feel so many emotions being conveyed. Determination, pain, anger, love, hope, despair, all trying to reach him. He felt tears forming in his eyes, overwhelmed by the feeling that was reaching his soul.
Minato tried pulling against his unknown restraints with all his strength. He wanted to break free from the chains that were binding him. He wanted to see the people calling out to him. He wanted to meet them, he wanted to finally have a place in the world. He wanted to love, and be loved. He didn't want to be alone anymore. He didn't want to fighting a battle that could never be won, risking the lives of his friends and the world.
Minato didn't want to die.
He wanted to live.
It was impossible however, to have such a fate. He could hear the voices fading away as he screamed out to them, begging them not to leave him. Eventually, he was left alone, the silence bearing over him. He could see nor hear anything, for what felt like centuries.
He found peace in the solitude, his mind continually replaying the calls that had long since vanished. He was always destined to be alone, never to connect with another. He was trapped in a place where nobody would ever know of his existence, a place in which nobody could ever find.
That was until he heard the slight echo of footsteps walking towards him. At least now he knew that there was stone flooring around him. He reasoned that the intruder was a figment of his imagination, but the voice sounded so real that he couldn't help but hope that someone had come to rescue him. Minato felt his heart stop as the footsteps came to a halt.
"Open your eyes," a smooth voice called out to him.
He obeyed without hesitation. It was as if a spell had been lifted from Minato, his surroundings appearing before him. His vision was blurry from lack of use, slowly focusing. Once his eyes adjusted, he could see a figure walking towards him. Its body was disfigured, as if transforming between human and… Persona?
He tried to speak, no sound coming out. He watched as the figure drew closer, eyes widening in recognition. The figure gently cupped Minato's cheek, eyes boring into his with nothing short of pure adoration. He could feel the warmth radiating off of the stranger figure's hand, an odd feeling of completion flowing throughout his body.
The figure leaned in closer to Minato, their lips millimeters away from one another. Minato could feel the ghost of a smile form on the figure's lips before they kissed him. Only this time, he felt no warmth. He felt a chill run down his spine as the figure pulled back, transforming before his eyes.
"We shall never be apart Minato. We are one and the same, our destinies are forever entwined."
*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*
He softy exhaled, trying to decipher the meaning of the dream. Unlike all the previous times, much more of it felt familiar. He knew who many of the voices belonged to now, each corresponding to one of his links.
Minato turned his head to the side, staring at his evoker lying on the bedside table. If the people calling out to him were all of the links he formed, then it must have something to do with Personas. Perhaps it was something to do with the final battle against Nyx in the coming month. To go against the one who would bring about the Fall would require all of their strength combined.
Then what had become of Minato? He crossed his arms behind his head, staring at the green glow of the crescent moon. He was trapped, but where? He had heard the sound of steps on stone. Did that mean he was in a dungeon? He remembered that it was as if he was suspended, unable to move any part of his body. Being tied up was the only logical explanation, but it couldn't have been somewhere he knew.
He couldn't have been trapped in Tartarus then, as none of his friends were able to reach him. If all he could hear were voices, then it meant that he was separated from them. The place must have been isolated like another section of Tartarus.
Maybe it had something to do with the Nyx Avatar? If that was the case, then he must have been trying to stop it. Which could only mean one thing. He had tried to seal it away. That would explain his restraints, and the place in which he was trapped.
The figure at the end however, still remained a mystery. The cryptic words were what he remembered most vividly. Already, the dream had begun to fade from his mind. The figure that reached out to him had become too blurry, but he felt as though he knew who it was deep down. The moment their lips had touched him, it felt so empty and dark. Almost as if death itself was reaching out to him.
The most curious question however, was how he knew so much about the events he had yet to experience. How could he be piecing together such information, without knowing a single thing about Nyx or the consequences that would follow?
"Minato?"
Minato sat up in shock, staring at Pharos with wide eyes. Pharos gave a slight chuckle, laughing at the startled reaction he had obtained. Minato slowly relaxed upon recognising who had called his name, giving a slight nod of acknowledgement.
"Is something wrong?"
"The end of the world."
Pharos smiled. "I didn't know the dark hour was a time for jokes."
"It's the only time dark jokes are appropriate," Minato replied with a hum.
Pharos hopped off the edge of Minato's bed and walked up to the window, staring into the night sky. "You're rather talkative tonight. How come?"
"Shouldn't you be gone?" Minato asked quietly, staring at Pharos' back.
"Gone?" Pharos asked, a puzzled expression on his face as he turned towards Minato. " I am a part of you Minato. If you yearn for me, then our bond will call me to you." He turned back to face the moon once more, its green glow captivating him.
Minato felt his heart skip a beat, the words tugging at his heartstrings. The way Pharos had said it was so genuine, as if Minato was the only person who truly mattered to him.
Then why was it, that those words felt as if they were coming from somebody else? "If only you'd visit me outside of the dark hour," Minato said with a yawn.
"I'd assume you'd rather be asleep now than talking to me then?"
Minato blinked, worried that he had offended Pharos. "N-no. If you were here outside of the dark hour… we would have more time to talk."
Pharos linked his hands behind his back, almost bouncing in place. "You enjoy talking with me?" He asked with genuine curiosity. "You aren't the most talkative person Minato, even I know that. You barely respond to anyone who tries to hold a conversation with you."
Minato sat up and crossed his legs, stretching his arms. "I feel comfortable talking to you though."
This time Pharos let out a laugh, the sound causing Minato to inadvertently smile. "You find comfort in the strangest things, don't you Minato?"
Minato raised a questioning brow. "Strangest things?"
"Oh you know," Pharos began, turning around to face Minato. "Considering you're going to fight the Nyx Avatar to stop the Fall, I think you've found your peace with death."
Minato could only furrow his brows in confusion as Pharos' figure distorted momentarily, merging with Ryoji's. Before the question on his lips could be asked, Pharos cut him off.
"It seems as though the dark hour is playing tricks on you. Maybe you should get some rest?" He diverted, hoping that Minato had not noticed.
Minato frowned at his comment, his heartbeat skyrocketing. "How can you know about our decision to fight the Nyx Avatar? We haven't even discussed it yet. And Ryoji..." he trailed off. He glared at Pharos as he continued. "What connection do you have with Ryoji?"
Pharos' eyes widened, caught off guard. Regaining his composure, he narrowed his eyes at Minato as he assumed a defensive position. The latter already had his evoker at the ready, eyes trained on Pharos, waiting for any sign of movement.
Minato's next question was just as unexpected as him setting his evoker aside, almost bowing his head towards Pharos.
"How do you know about any of these events, and how do I know about them? What are you? What am I? " Minato's voice broke as he asked his last question. His mind was a mess, jumping between the past and future. He felt confused and alone, unable to make sense of anything going on in his life.
Pharos' form distorted again, this time solidifying as Ryoji. Minato watched him silently, holding back his tears.
"Minato," Ryoji said reaching out towards him, his honey like voice easing the pain of Minato's heart. "Don't cry, please." He gently wiped away the tears at the corner of Minato's eyes, who leaned against his cold palm for comfort.
The sight of Minato like this, broken and lost, hurt Ryoji's heart more than he could describe. He hugged Minato, gently stroking his hair while whispering words of comfort to him. Minato could only hug him tightly, trying to forget what he had seen. He wanted to remain in this moment forever.
After a few minutes, Ryoji let go of Minato, sitting on the bed opposite to him. The silence between them was comfortable, and Minato found himself calming down. He was ready to finally get answers to his questions, and Ryoji was going to answer them.
*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*
"What do you wish to know, Minato?" Ryoji asked, already anticipating what he would ask.
"I want to know who you are."
"That…" Ryoji frowned, staring and his hands. He looked up at Minato again, who was patiently waiting for an answer. He took a deep breath before asking, "You won't think any differently of me if I tell you?"
Minato gave a soft hum, unfazed.
"Very well." He toyed with the edge of his scarf, Minato easily identifying the nervous habit. "I am Death."
Minato's blank stare was almost amusing, had his face not paled almost instantly. "This is why you should have waited, Minato. Now is not the time to tell you... nor is it the time I should be aware," he finished quietly.
Minato was taken back by the response, but Ryoji's serious tone was enough indication that he wasn't joking. The last part of his sentence weighed heavily over Minato. Time itself was being distorted, and the present had broken through to the future.
"Minato, there are some things you are better off not knowing until it is the right time." Ryoji gave him a sad smile, the implications of telling him before the correct time bearing down on him. He blankly stared at the clock, the time blinking 12:01.
"I… believe in you Ryoji, but… I need an answer."
Ryoji looked back at Minato, contemplating his response. He gave a soft sigh before speaking. "The dream… will make sense in time. It is a blending of the past, the present, and of the future. Moments that are yet to happen, and moments that have already happened countless times before."
"What does that mean," Minato whispered, afraid of breaking Ryoji's reverie.
Ryoji closed his eyes, the honey like lilt of his voice fading. "It means that your dream has already happened, and has yet to occur." He opened his eyes, his pupils dark as they pierced Minato's soul. "I cannot tell you more than this, only to let time flow as if it never happened—"
"—To let time flow as if it already has occurred," Minato finished. He smiled at Ryoji, who mirrored it back.
Ryoji stood up, his body beginning to fade away. "This will not be the last time we meet, though, it is the last time I will meet you for a long time."
Minato watched in despair as Ryoji's body faded away, his arm reaching out to touch him, only to pass right through him.
The last piece of the puzzle clicked in place as he sat alone in his room, illuminated only by the bright light of the crescent moon.
*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*
The days passed by as if the entire conversation had never happened. The decision on December 31st came to pass, with the group choosing to fight against the Nyx Avatar. Minato's days were filled with training and building his social links, preparing for their final battle.
It was only during the battle itself, did Minato remember the events that had occured in early December. Parts of his dreams melded with reality as he found himself following Nyx to the moon, calling upon the strength of all his links to seal away Nyx once and for all.
The dream that had plagued him from childhood had finally manifested, just as Ryoji had said it would. He felt his soul weaken, splitting apart in two. It was time for his final goodbye, before he let himself succumb to the loneliness of his dreams… his reality.
*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*
Minato found himself walking towards a large gate, where a familiar figure was guarding it. It was almost like an out of body experience, except it was, watching a statue of himself guarding the gate to Nyx. He closed his eyes, letting his soul reconnect with the half that was sealing the gate.
Minato felt the familiar emptiness that he had in his dreams, the same desolate atmosphere. This time, there were no voices calling out to him, and the memories in his mind were only of his most treasured moments with his links.
He didn't feel as lonely and lost this time. He had completed his duty and protected those who were close to him, and the entire world. He watched the path to the gate with newfound vigor, though he knew nobody would ever reach him. Except one particular person.
Ryoji slowly walked towards Minato, flashing him a charming smile as his boots clicked against the marble flooring. If Minato was able to smile he would have, instead he was trapped within a stone shell, only able to forever guard the gate.
"You look like you've been through hell and back," Minato's voice echoed in Ryoji's mind.
"I didn't know that the Great Seal could crack jokes," he laughed.
"There's not much else to do here."
"Aside from protecting humanity from the Fall," he replied, putting his hands in his pockets.
"I thought I'd never see you again."
Ryoji faked a hurt expression, one hand on his heart as if he'd been stabbed. "Did you forget what I said already, Minato? How could you!" He finished dramatically.
Ryoji could almost see the bemesument on Minato's face in his mind as the voice replied, "You never were talented at drama."
"If I knew I was going to be insulted by a rock I wouldn't have come to visit," Ryoji joked as he shifted his scarf. He looked directly into Minato's stone eyes as he spoke. "It's good to finally see you again, Minato."
"I'm glad I can see you this time."
Ryoji walked up to Minato, smiling at him. He gently reached towards Minato's face, feeling the cool touch of the stone in place of his once warm body. "How busy would you say you are?"
"I have nothing pressing to do for the next eternity, so conversation would be helpful to pass time."
"I'll have to check my schedule," Ryoji replied playfully, withdrawing his hand.
"Schedule?"
Ryoji hummed in agreement as he sat down in front of Minato, making himself comfortable. "Yes, you see it says that I'm due to sit in front of the Great Seal for the next eternity."
"What a thrilling schedule. I'm sure you could squeeze in conversing with a rock somewhere."
"Years of being a seal has done wonders to your sanity," Ryoji quipped. "You once enjoyed my company."
"I still enjoy your company."
The response was short, almost reminiscent. Minato was unable to express any emotion with his voice, but Ryoji could hear it perfectly.
"I have an eternity to spend with you Minato, tell me what's on your mind."
The reply he received was almost instantaneous. "You."
The light dusting of pink on Ryoji's cheeks and his flustered expression was not missed by Minato. The latter found his reaction adorable, and wished nothing more than to be able to hold Ryoji in his arms.
"I-I'm sure you didn't mean that the way it sounded."
"And if I did?"
"I'd wonder how you could genuinely mean it with such a stone-faced expression."
*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*
Neither of the two could remember the last time they felt so complete and happy. They had talked for what seemed like hours, days, perhaps even months endlessly. Time no longer flowed around them, forever locked in stasis as they enjoyed one another's company.
However, at the back of his mind, Minato was still waiting for his answer. The burden of his soul and duty was finally eased, and Ryoji could sense that it was now the right time to reveal the meaning behind Minato's dreams.
"Minato." Ryoji's voice cut through the amicable silence that had formed. "You've waited long enough."
"I was beginning to think you had forgotten."
"I had previously told you, that I am Death. I had also told you, that your dreams were a mixture of the past, present and future," Ryoji explained slowly. "It is not as simple as that, and so…" He took a deep breathe, "I will have to explain from the beginning."
"I'm not going anywhere."
"Good, because it's a long story."
*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*
"This entire scenario has happened before, countless times. You living through this year, forming your links, fighting the shadows, meeting me in all my forms, battling Nyx and becoming the Great Seal."
"That's impossible."
"It isn't. How else can you explain knowing these events before they have happened? You are much too familiar with how things will play out, surely you had noticed."
Ryoji was met with silence, Minato no doubt trying to contemplate the meaning behind his words.
"The reason this is possible, is because of me."
"…"
"A long time ago, when we had met for the first time, I as Pharos, felt an unbreakable bond with you. I realised that we would eventually have to face one another, with you fighting to prevent the Fall and I assuming my position as Death in the form of the Nyx Avatar."
"Did you meet me as the Great Seal?"
"Yes."
"… Did you feel remorse for upholding your fate?"
"You could say that. When I saw you as the seal, my heart broke. You wanted to live, to experience life, and yet here you were, a sacrifice for humanity. You were denied your life," Ryoji growled, unwilling to finish his sentence.
Minato knew better. "Because of you."
"When I touched you, I could feel how empty and lonely you were inside. I could feel you yearning to live, to reconnect with the bonds you had formed."
"What did you do?"
"I wanted you to live, Minato. I would do anything for you, you are my world. I wanted you to experience the joy when you were in SEES."
"You… reverted the year back for me? For my happiness?"
"I used the power of the Fall to erase everyone's memories. It was useless trapped behind you after all, however..." Ryoji looked up at Minato fondly, his tone soft. "I was still able to manifest the power in a different form."
"The Fall was used to restore the world instead of destroying it?"
"Yes and no. I was too weak to modify its power much, which created the first loop. I used the Fall's strength to wipe the memories of everyone on Earth, in hopes of depleting its power.
"Negating the need for my soul to seal away Nyx."
"Correct, however I was too weak to control the effects of modifying the power. The Fall destroyed the world, however it restored it to a point before it had been triggered. The world itself was recreated, as if it had never happened, and everyone had forgotten that the events had ever happened. There was only one problem."
"You retained your memories?"
"You always were smart. Perhaps those loops had something to do with it?" Ryoji chuckled, the echoing of Minato's voice resembling a laugh. "Correct. I was the only one who retained my memories. I, as Ryoji, became a separate being to Pharos. In order to keep the laws of time intact, I acted the same as the previous loop, only revealing myself at the right time."
"Within the first loop, was I slightly aware?"
"Perhaps you were, but nowhere near as much as this loop. This time, your awareness had manifested at an incredibly fast rate, in your childhood that was devoid of me."
"How… Why?"
"Well…" Ryoji started, dodging Minato's straightforward gaze. "I don't know."
"You don't know?"
Ryoji shot Minato an offended look, sighing in defeat. "I have an idea as to why, but it is not as simple as that."
"Please enlighten me."
"Your links."
"What significance do they hold? You told me everyone's memories were wiped."
"The links you formed were never truly destroyed. Somewhere deep inside, the remnants remained, through each loop. They called out to your friends, and strengthened through each loop even as you forgot them again and again."
"Because I had already forged the link in the first world."
"Yes. The links got stronger through each loop."
"I still… don't understand."
"Your seal," Ryoji said as he gestured to the statue of Minato. "It was formed through the links you forged with your friends. As your links got stronger each time you repeated them, your memory of becoming the seal became stronger."
"So I began to recall events that had not happened as memories from my 'sealed self' became stronger?"
"You are correct, however there is one important fact you have missed."
Minato's mind was racing with all the information Ryoji was giving him. It felt as though he was on the verge of finally being able to see through the cloudiness of his mind. " What am I missing, Ryoji?"
"Links work both ways, Minato."
"If my memories strengthen, and I am able to remember…" Had Minato's heart been beating, it surely would have stopped. "Then the links I had formed will also start to become aware."
"And that's where the problem starts."
*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*
"You mean to tell me, that my friends will become aware of the world as well?"
"Minato, your awareness came to me as a surprise. It's only natural to assume that if you have begun to recall memories of the previous loops, that they can as well."
"But I… I-I never had awareness of anything except you and the seal…"
"Didn't you find it strange that you could almost predict the way your links would go? Seeing how things would end up depending on what you said? An innate feeling within about where the relationship would go?"
"…"
"It was not conscious, but it was there. Although, there is a much bigger problem that comes to light from this information."
"If I could predict their futures—"
"—Then they would be able to see yours."
"They should never know about that. They're not a part of SEES, they aren't involved with the dark hour."
"Their awareness would change the way the world functions, the way the loop acts. This means that the events you experience would be different based on their introduction."
"They're in danger because of you." Ryoji could feel the venom in Minato's words. He lost his confidence momentarily, unable to bear the weight of Minato's disgust. He hung his head, unable to meet Minato's eyes.
Minato had said it in anger, but he could feel a pain deep down inside of him. Ryoji had only tried to let him live, he had done what he did for him. There was no way he could have predicted the events unfolding in this loop, or the consequences it would have for the future. "Ryoji… I'm sorry. I didn't mean it."
Ryoji didn't answer him, rather, he couldn't. Minato was right. No matter what he did, even with good intentions, he could not change the fact that he was Death. It would've been best if Ryoji had never met with Minato, at least then Minato wouldn't be in so much pain.
"Ryoji please answer me. I couldn't live knowing that I've hurt you." Minato could only watch as a single tear rolled down the side of Ryoji's beautiful face. He was unable to move a muscle, so he did the only thing he could.
"I'll be right beside you, waiting until the time you feel comfortable enough to talk to me again. I won't ever leave you alone on your own. I can't live without you."
Ryoji slowly lifted his gaze to Minato, blinking back tears. He wiped a stray tear from his face as he gave a small smile to Minato. "You can't live without Death?" He asked quietly, his voice barely reaching Minato's ears.
"You granted me life, Ryoji. You only ever wanted me to be happy, but you are what makes me happy."
Ryoji could feel his heart almost burst at the declaration. He reached his hand to feel its rapid beating, a full smile on his face. "Thank you for accepting me."
"Thank you for never giving up on me, and loving me for all this time."
"You have an amazing way with words despite not being too talkative."
"I already told you, I feel comfortable talking with you - or have you forgotten?"
"I never forget."
"Well, that makes one of us."
"Soon the whole world will remember."
"Isn't that going to be a problem?"
"It doesn't have to be, however the solution is the biggest problem."
"What is the solution?"
"The Fall."
"How is the Fall a solution to anything?"
"The Fall will become crucial if the world begins to remember the loops."
"Won't the Fall just kill everybody? What point is there to me sealing Nyx then? If the Fall occurs, then we can't be together."
"The Fall won't kill everybody. I've gotten stronger through each loop."
"You would modify the power of the Fall?"
"Yes. I would be able to properly wipe the memories of everyone, and restore the world again. Only when that happens, it will be different."
"Different?"
"I will be able to deplete my power, or diminish it significantly. The world will revert back to its initial loop, where all memories and links will fully be dissolved, forming for the first time."
"With Nyx's power diminished, we would finally be able to defeat you."
"And you won't have to sacrifice yourself as a seal. You'll get to live your life the way you want, free from the dark hour. Even I will be free. Free to be with you, eternally."
Ryoji stood up, bringing himself face to face with Minato. Minato was already anticipating Ryoji's next move, even if he was unable to respond to it. He felt the warmth of his lips connecting to his own stone cold ones. Ryoji pulled away from Minato, a sad smile on his face.
"We will have to part, won't we?"
"…Yes."
"How many more loops must we endure?"
"Once the world becomes aware. It should be soon now, you're proof of that."
"Do you think I'll remember this at all?"
"I think that you will. In some way, it'll still be there."
"Ryoji… will you wait for me? No matter how long it takes?"
"My love for you is eternal, Minato. I would wait for all of eternity if it meant I could see you once more."
Ryoji placed both his hands on each side of Minato's face, his forehead resting on Minato's. His form began to distort into Thanatos, into Nyx, and into Pharos repeatedly.
Minato could feel the power of the seal bursting behind him, and power from Ryoji flowing freely within him. He could feel himself beginning to forget, his body slowly becoming free from its confinements. He hugged Ryoji's rapidly transforming form, who held him tightly in response.
"For eternal love," Minato whispered as he began to fade from Ryoji's hold.
"For eternal love."