This is written from Severus Snape's point of view.  I don't own Snape, though I wish I did.  He's one sexy guy.  : )  J.K.R. owns him, and Placebo owns the song, "I Know."

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It's cold.  So cold that I can feel my fingers cramping up inside of my black leather gloves.  The hot tea that I'm holding doesn't seem to be helping, so I toss it to the ground and shove my hands deep in my pockets of my robes.

I know you love the song but not the singer
I know you've got me wrapped around your finger
I know you want the sin without the sinner
I know, I know

The wind hasn't stopped blowing since I've left my manor.  If that's not a sign, I don't know what is.  My body tells me that that it's cold, but my brain tells me to keep walking.  Just keep walking, and hopefully the thoughts and feelings will eventually be left behind. 

I walk down to the lakeshore and sit at the least snow-covered bench.  My teeth are chattering, but I honestly don't care.  True, that tea would be nice right about now, but it was still more of a nuisance than it was worth. 

I know the past will catch you up as you run faster
I know the last in line is always called a bastard
I know the past will catch you up as you run faster
I know, I know

The lake is frozen over, nothing but a white glistening surface.  It's a beautiful sight, one that makes me wish for someone to share it with…  

I guess I should be used to it by now.  It's been so long since I've had someone to sit with here.  To share the winter's beauty with...  For every Yule that passes...  it just gets harder.

I'm starting to feel as though I'll always be like this.  Alone. 

I know you cut me loose from contradiction
I know I'm all wrapped up in sweet attrition
I know it's asking for your benediction
I know, I know

Gods, why did you leave me, Sage…  I loved you so…  The first time I saw you, you took my breath away; you were so beautiful.  Long black hair, so soft to the touch.  Sparkling emerald green eyes that danced with mischief when happy, but when angry, those same eyes seethed.  And your kindness…  How you were sorted into Slytherin is beyond me.

And the fact that you chose me.  You chose the slimy git over all others.  You let me court you.  You let me marry you.  You were to bear my child. 

But it is me who killed you.  I left Voldemort, choosing the side of light.  And he took his anger out on you, my love. 

I know the past will catch you up as you run faster
I know the last in line is always called a bastard
I know the past will catch you up as you run faster
I know, I know

I glance up at the moonless sky.  The stars are out tonight, shining brightly on my face as I look up.  I find my favorite constellation, Cassiopeia.  We used to look up at it, our hands entangled in one another's.  I fight the urge to let that one errant tear fall.  It's a losing battle.

I guess I just came out here, to let you know...  That I loved you.  That I always will... 

I know the past will catch you up as you run faster
I know the last in line is always called a bastard
I know the past will catch you up as you run faster
I know, I know

I pull a small object out of my pocket, a dainty silver ring, and grasp it in my hand so hard that it hurts.  I look back up at the sky, that tear finally falling.  I repeat my last words to my beloved to the sky.  I love you.

"I know…"

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