Where is the LUCK?
By Sharan McQuack, Launchpad's wife
Mr. McDuck was having a bad day. Everything was going wrong. Murphy's law was in full force: the stock market was in a Tale Spin, and he was being sued left and right. Not that "nuisance suits" are unusual for the richest duck in the world, but it looked like he might LOSE the upcoming cases for a change.
Just then Gladstone Gander, who is related to Mr. McDuck somehow (1) came to visit Mr. McDuck and to complain that a similar thing had happened to HIM: his famous luck had run out!
Just then Mr. McDuck received a call from a friend in South America: somebody in South America was taking advantage of the plunging stock market to buy up stocks at bargain prices. This "person" was well on the way to taking over Mr. McDuck's title of the richest person in the world. The person's name? He called himself: El Captaine.
Mr. McDuck, upon hearing for this bellowed for Launchpad so loud that my much-beloved husband Launchpad almost did not need the phone to hear him. Soon, Launchpad, Gladstone and Mr. McDuck were heading to South America to investigate this news. (2)
Upon arriving in South America, Mr. McDuck, not being one to "beat around the bush", confronted El Captaine.
El Captaine held up a small piece of carved stone and said:
"Behold the Karma Amulet! I escaped from jail in that underground city you left me in! And I took with me this extremely powerful lucky charm, one those fools did not have the guts to use, but kept in the safehouse to protect it! This lucky charm is so powerful it makes your Lucky Dime look like - how do you say it? - A piker!" El Captaine said to Mr. McDuck
Mr. McDuck knew that El Captaine had been held in the Safehouse in a underground city of True Worth when he last saw El Captaine. (3)
"My fortune came from hard work! My Lucky Dime was the first dime I ever EARNED! Why don't people understand that if the dime seems to bring me luck, it's because I worked for it- and every other dime I've earned since then? How can a mere piece of stone you STOLE bring you GOOD luck?" Mr. Mc Duck asked.
Meanwhile, Launchpad TRIED to take advantage of this distraction and sneak up on El Captaine and swipe the Karma Amulet (so Launchpad could return it to the underground city). However, Launchpad is a LOUSY crook and isn't built for being sneaky. (There are certain disadvantages to being big.) El Captaine caught on to what Launchpad was up to and laughed in his face.
Mr. McDuck then tried to retrieve the amulet, as did Gladstone. THEN, Flintheart Glomgold popped up out of nowhere, and stole the amulet. "It's MINE! Soon, I will be the richest duck in the world!" he screamed as he ran away.
Our heroes were tangled up in each other, having gotten into each other way. "Launchpad! You're clumsiness cost us that amulet! Now Flintheart has it! He's going to take it back to that ramshackle "mansion" of his back in Duckburg, I bet! How are we going to get it back?" Mr. McDuck asked.
"I'm sorry, Mr. McD! I didn't expect El Captaine to spot me or for Flinty to put his two cents in!" Launchpad said.
"Besides, YOU'RE the one who doesn't believe in lucky charms- if that thing does nothing, why do we WANT it back?" Gladstone asked.
"There is such a thing as a self-fulfilling prophecy! If Flintheart THINKS it's bringing him luck, it'll bring him luck!" Mr. McDuck said.
Soon, Flintheart Glomgold was back in Duckburg with the Karma Amulet. He went straight home to the big, ruined house on the top of a rocky hill- almost a mountain- that he called a mansion. Flinty started searching for a safe place to put the Karma Amulet, since he does not have a Money Bin.
"I know Scroogie is too honest to steal it- but those nephews of his might, since they'll just return it to its rightful owner!" Flinty muttered, as he searched for a place safe enough to hide it.
"Let me solve that little problem for you!" an all-too-familiar voice cackled as Magica De Spell came out of nowhere, flying on her broomstick. She grabbed the Karma Amulet before Flinty could do anything and flew off with it.
Flintheart screamed and cursed as Magica flew out the window she had entered by, with the Karma Amulet. Just then, the phone rang. Flintheart answered it, in a fowl mood. "Yes? What is it?" he asked.
"Flintheart! This is Scrooge McDuck! I'm willing to buy back that Karma amulet you stole!" Mr. McDuck said.
"You're too late, Scroogie. Magica De Spell just stole it from me." (4)
"I don't like suggesting this, any more than you liked offering to buy the amulet from me...but how's about a truce? We could both work together to retrieve the amulet from Magica." Flintheart suggested.
"You'll try to steal it from me!" Mr. McDuck said.
"True. But I'll try and steal it from you regardless. This way you know where I am and can "keep an eye" on me. And I think you'd prefer me having it than Magica. I'll just use it to become the richest duck in the world. Magica would use it to rule the world. And I wouldn't like that any more than you would." Flintheart said.
"I don't know..." Mr. McDuck said.
"But here's my trump card: I know where Magica is living, right now. My "spies" found her latest hideout a few days ago, she should still be there." Flintheart added.
"I don't trust you- but I believe in keeping my enemies close. Launchpad and the boys must accompany me." Mr. McDuck said.
"Fine! You want to me be backed up by three ten year old boys, that's your business! And somebody has to fly us to Magica's! If YOU want to pay for that, fine by me!" Flintheart said.
"What's this about Flintheart Glomgold coming with us, Mr. McD?" Launchpad asked.
"I don't like it either. But he knows where Magica is living and we know better than to trust him. He'll try and steal the amulet back, that's for sure." Mr. McDuck replied.
"Maybe he'll try to steal it from MAGICA? We could sort of hang back and let the two of them fight each other. " Launchpad suggested.
"I would not cry any bitter tears if she hurts HIM. I would not let her hurt him too badly. But let's face it, once one of US grabs the amulet, she'll forgot about Flinty and be after it."
"Hmmm... we might be able to grab the amulet while the two of them are fighting over it. Let me talk it over with the boys and Gladstone. We don't want to get in each other's way, like we did before." Mr. McDuck said.
"Perhaps, you should try to grab the Amulet, Gladstone, while the rest of us distract Magica and Flintheart. You have the most faith in Luck- you've depended on luck for all of your life. Since you believe in luck, it might "work" for you." Mr. McDuck said.
"You trust ME with that kind of good-luck charm? You know I've always lived on luck and I'm too lazy to work!" Gladstone asked.
"Yes, I know. The charm might give you your luck back- and a return to normal doesn't scare me.I'd rather you have your old luck back to having you trying to mooch off me! But I'd give it back to that underground city, if I were you! Something tells me there is a VERY good reason they locked that thing up." Scrooge replied.
" I'll hate doing it, but I agree. I've depended on luck for so long, I'll be sorely tempted to keep it. Even if I learned the hard way what happens if I use my luck for evil- (5) and keeping a stolen item is wrong. I don't want to risk losing my luck and having to- gulp- WORK for a living!" Gladstone said.
Launchpad flew them to Magica's hideout. The unlikely allies snuck towards Magica's latest "haunted house" nervously. "From ghosts and ghoulies and long-legged beasties and things that go bump in the night, Good Lord, protect us!" mumbled Launchpad before entering the spooky old house.
"That's an old SCOTTISH prayer!" said Mr. McDuck "
"I know. That's why I said it." Launchpad replied "I'm surrounded by Scotsmen!"
"Now, everybody be quiet! We don't want Magica to know that we are here- since she thinks I don't know where she lives, we might be able to take her by surprise. That means no dumb jokes or any other comments, Launchpad!" Mr. McDuck said. Launchpad mimed zipping his lip. They nervously "tiptoed" into the spooky old house.
They soon came upon what seemed to be a dead end. In front of them was a wall with weird symbols painted on it. Mr. McDuck read the symbols, and pointed out a button that the symbols also pointed to. Mr. McDuck was about to press the button when Launchpad stopped him.
"Why did you stop me?" Mr. McDuck hissed, under his breath.
"Would YOU write instruction on your Money Bin telling crooks how to break in? (6)Why would Magica write instructions on her wall telling how to open a secret passage?" Launchpad answered in a whisper.
"Can I borrow your cane?" Launchpad asked. Mr. McDuck handed his cane to Launchpad. Launchpad stood far away from the wall. The others automatically did likewise.
Launchpad extended his arm out fully and with the cane, just barely pressed the button. A deep, deep pit opened up between them and the wall, which slowly rose up.
The uneasy allies looked down the DEEP pit at the nasty looking spears pointing up from it's bottom. "What's that green sticky stuff on those spears?" Mr. McDuck asked.
"Er- I think its poison, Mr. McD." Launchpad said.
"I'd thank Launchpad if I were you." muttered Gladstone.
"Thanks, Launchpad" said Mr. McDuck in the same tone he thanks whoever prepares his taxes. (7)
The pit was deep but not very wide, they all managed to jump over it without trouble. Soon, they were in front of the passage the opening wall had revealed.
"I think we can stop whispering now. Pressing that button probably told Magica some intruder is in here." Gladstone said, quietly lest Mr. McDuck disagree.
"Maybe she'll think the trap worked if we're quiet enough." Mr. McDuck replied, as they walked thru the recently revealed passage.
"And maybe my boss isn't that dumb." said a large duck who practically had "hired thug" written all over him.
Launchpad automatically came forward to meet the challenger- and gulped. It isn't terribly often that my Launchpad has to look UP to talk to somebody. Launchpad was looking up now. This guy was BIG AND TALL enough to make my Launchpad look little.
"What da you, want, shorty? The boss lady Magica says nobody disturbs her. Nobody disturbs her. So scram, all of you?" Tall Thug said.
"Er- is Magica actually paying you? I had the feeling she was broke." Launchpad asked, having noticed that Magica always stays in total dumps.
"Listen, shrimp, she's a witch! She made me this big when I used to be shorter than that old geezer over there. I owe her- and she can pay me for my services in more magic!" Tall Thug explained.
"That "old geezer" is my boss, Scrooge McDuck. And nobody makes fun of him with ME around." Launchpad said.
"Oh, really?" said Tall Thug and he tried to clobber Launchpad. Launchpad ducked and Mr. McDuck tripped Tall Thug with his cane. Tall Thug fell in the pit behide him. Launchpad grabbed Tall Thug and idiotic Tall Thug almost pulled Launchpad down with him because Tall Thug was still mad.
"Hey, stupid, look where you are and ask if you really want me to drop you!" Launchpad said. Tall Thug looked around and saw the pit and the spears for the first time. It was Tall Thug's turn to gulp. "Save me!" he said, grabbing onto Launchpad.
By this time, Mr. McDuck and Gladstone had grabbed Launchpad's legs (lest Tall Thug drag Launchpad down the pit)and helped pull both of them to safety.
"Thanks, Mr. McD!" Launchpad said.
"You're welcome. But I'll have you know I can fight my own battles Mr. "nobody makes fun of Mr. McD with me around"!" Mr. McDuck replied.
"I KNOW that! But sometimes I get worried that one of these days you're going to bite off more than you can chew! That guy is awfully big! And you're not as young as you used to be!" replied Launchpad, the last sentence a barely audible mumble.
"Well, Magica HAS to know we're here, now!" Gladstone said.
"Hey, you...we just saved your life. Can we trust you to show us a way to where Magica is...preferably a back way so maybe we can take her by surprise?" Launchpad asked Tall Thug.
"I tried to kill you guys and you saved my life. Yeah, I think you guys can trust me THAT far. Follow me." Tall Thug said.
"Are you SURE he's not leading us into a trap?" Mr. McDuck whispered to Launchpad.
"No." Launchpad replied "I'm not sure. But I don't know a back way in and he might...so I'm giving him a chance."
Tall Thug did NOT lead them into a trap, he showed them a back way to Magica's "office". Magica was there and she was a wreck. She looked awful-er than usual and it looked like she had been CRYING. Magica turned and saw them. The unusual allies braced themselves for a fight.
Only Magica came to them, put the Karma Amulet into Scrooge's hand and said: "Here! Take the horrible thing away! Please! I'm begging you! I wish I never saw the thing! I wish I never heard of it!" Scrooge was doubtful, thinking it had to be some sort of trap- but if it was, Magica deserved an Oscar for Best Actress. She was clearly this close to madness and total desperation.
"I will take that, now. You do not want it, any of you- believe me." A figure behide them said. they turned.
"Lan!" Mr. McDuck said, recognizing the leader of his people "From the Underground city of True Worth!"
"I have come to retrieve the Karma Amulet which was stolen from us. By now this woman must have found out the "catch" to its powers." Lan stated.
"It first brings its user great good luck. All the good luck they will ever deserve- all at once and highly multiplied." Lan said
" THEN it brings it's user all the BAD luck they will ever deserve- whether it is still in their possession or not- even more swiftly and MUCH more multiplied. Few people, if any, can use it and not greatly regret doing so. THAT is why we locked it up and not because we were too cowardly to use it. We simply knew better." Lan explained.
"No wonder Magica's a wreck, then! Considering how evil she is, I don't WANT to know what that amulet's DONE to her!" Launchpad said, ALMOST feeling sorry for her.
Flintheart HAD intended to steal the Karma Amulet back BEFORE this. Upon hearing all this, he somehow changed his mind. NOW, he thanked his lucky stars Magica had stolen it from him before he had a chance to use it.
Lan took the Karma Amulet back to the City of True Worth and the temporary allies went home and broke off their truce.
"I suppose there is no point in even hoping we are no longer enemies, Flintheart?" Scrooge asked.
"Of course we're enemies! I won't stop 'till I'm the richest duck in the world, and YOU stand in my way! We just had a mutual enemy this time, that's all!" Flintheart replied.
The End.
(1)Luiz4200 of fanfiction says Gladstone is related to Scrooge by the marriage of Donald's parents Gladstone's uncle Quackmore and Scrooge's sister Hortense
Mister Matthews of tv com says Gladstone is the son of Scrooge's sister-in-law.
There is a certain about of arguing about how A is related to B even in REAL families.
(2) There used to be an internet "coloring book" that had several coloring web pages of Ducktales, including a picture of Mr. McDuck, Launchpad and Gladstone about to board Launchpad's plane. Said coloring pages evaporated and took nearly all evidence that it was ever there. Weird, no?
(3)See "Whose story is it, anyway?"
(4) Question for anybody who actually thinks Magica might like Mr. McDuck: How come she isn't the slightest bit interested in Flintheart Glomgold, then? He looks just like Mr. McDuck, only with a beard and is evil besides?
(5) "Dime Enough for Luck". Thanks, Luis4200. In case YOU didn't know this either, Gladstone is a bum who lives off his luck, being too lazy to work. Therefore, he deserved his luck going sour when Magica duped him into stealing #1 dime.
(6) I think something similiar happened in "Treasure of the Lost Lamp". Why would Calla Baba write instructions on how to open his pyramid on his pyramid? So a crook could rob him?
(7) Fenton, maybe? He is Mr. McDuck's accountant, after all..