I was running. Where? Did it matter? Why? Why do you think? It's always the same thing. The Darkness. I shiver just thinking about it. Thinking about all the pain that it's caused me, me and Dark . . .
I don't remember signing on for this. I mean, yes, this is why I was created, to serve The Darkness, but sometimes I wonder . . .
No. That will never happen. Never. The Light can't be any better than The Darkness. Besides, with all the pain that I've caused Sari and Bow, they'd kill me before I could explain.
But . . . all I really want is to be free . . . Perhaps, if I could kill Sari, perhaps I'd be strong enough to defeat The Darkness . . . I'll get Dark to help me. If he can defeat Bow, then together we could have a chance of defeating The Darkness.
We could have a chance to get all we ever wanted . . .
Sari closed her eyes. "Sometimes I wish that we could just . . . leave The Light. It wouldn't really miss us anyways . . . We could get away from all of this unnecessary and stupid fighting and be with our family on our home world."
"And leave the Worlds without us to fight for them?" Bow said.
"You're right, that would be selfish . . . But if we could get Dark and Black to leave The Darkness, which you and I both know that they hate, then maybe it'll all stop . . . and we could go home . . ."
"The Darkness and The Light would just force us to do what they want."
"Why are you always like this? Every time that I try to make a better future for us you always go on saying that things will never change Have you given up on it? Have you given up and there being the slightest hope that everything can go back to normal? That Sarah can make everything right? Have you given up on all of that? What about Sarah being the True One? Have you fallen in with The Light's thinking? Do you think that she isn't the right One? What happened to when you said that maybe The Light wasn't right and that Sarah was? When you said that maybe she didn't have to follow the prophecy! Were you just saying that? Were you -" Sari couldn't speak anymore. Her sobs overpowered her will to speak out. And soon . . . she gave up . . . "Who am I kidding? We can never escape . . . it is our destiny to never be free . . . even though it's all we ever wanted . . ."
I didn't tell The Darkness about my mission to kill Sari, but somehow it knew. Just as I was about to leave for Coruscant it stopped me.
"Lure her here." It told me. "Lure her back to Lonü, then here to the Shadowlands. I will make sure that none of the other Sith touch her. I will guide her to you."
It always knew what I was thinking, and I couldn't stop that . . . I couldn't stop it . . .
Another message. If it was another note from The Light telling me that I should find a way to destroy Black, I was going to scream. I didn't know how much more I could take.
I didn't really want to kill Black . . . okay, I did, but only because of all the pain that he's caused me. And that pain never would have happened if The Darkness and The Light never had interfered!
Why did me, of all people, have to be chosen to serve The Light? What is it about me that screams, 'This is the perfect servant right here!' I just don't understand . . . I look at the message, my eyes seeing, but not understanding. I'm much too distraught to think straight . . . Perhaps a little mediation . . .
Sari hadn't responded to my message. Either she hadn't had time to see it, or she was already on her way. Perhaps The Light was trying to keep her there. Yes, that was probably it. I just had to make the situation clear to them . . . Which Jedi to choose though? It had to be one that Sari was close to. Perhaps one of her childhood friends . . . one that had already been hurt before . . . one of the survivors from the time that Dark and I had attacked the Jedi Temple on Lonü . . . Yes, Sora would do . . .
Pain caused me to stop my meditation. Screams that weren't from anywhere close by rang though my head.
[These darn Force bonds!] I thought, hands on my head, trying to keep my skull intact.
The screams wouldn't go away.
I felt the source of the screams. [Sora, he's always getting into trouble . . .]
Gradually, the screams died off.
"You didn't read the message, did you?"
Only The Light would come right after I went through unbearable pain and expect me to be able to think straight . . .
The Light repeated it's question. I was still focused on breathing.
"Answer me! Did you read the message or not?"
"No." I was finally able to say.
"Why not? You should always read every message I give you!"
"You always tell me unimportant things like how I should kill Black! Just so you know, I don't read half of the messages you send me!"
"If you don't want to read them I'd be happy to send them directly to your mind." A little of the color drained from my face.
"What was it that the message said?" I asked, changing the subject.
"It told of how Black currently has captured a good number of Jedi from the Lonüian Temple. He said that he will torture and execute one Jedi every hour until you come."
"Sora . . . he's the first one . . ."
"Yes, but I will not allow you to leave."
"He's going to die! All those innocent Jedi are going to die if I don't go!"
"Their lives are not as important as yours. They are -"
"How can you say that? That they aren't as important as me? That they're expendable?" I was sent crashing into the wall by an unseen force.
"If you want to go and die it's fine by me! I'll be easy to find a replacement for you, and maybe my next servant won't be so – so-" I was slammed into the opposite wall.
The Light vanished, and the screams came back. The last thought that I could muster was that The Light's name didn't really suit it . . .
What did The Darkness want now? Ever since Black went and captured those Jedi The Darkness has been annoying me more and more . . .
"You should lure Bow here. Make him come to you for death."
"I don't want to fight him right now."
"I don't care what you want! You will make him come here, and you will kill him!"
"I don't want to fight him!" I knew that it was coming before it struck. Black Force lightning enveloped me, shot through me. The dark energy, that would have healed me if it hadn't been so strong and infused with electricity, hurt like nothing else could. This would probably go on for a while . . .
"Where are you going?" I asked Sari.
She kept packing her bag, not even looking at me. It wouldn't take that long; it was a rather small bag. I could wait
. . . After five minutes of waiting I knew that she was stalling. I walked over to her. She didn't look up.
I placed my hand on her shoulder. "Sari."
She looked up, tears running down her face. "Sora . . ."
"I felt it too."
Sari fell into my arms, sobs escaping from her mouth. My arms wrapped around her. She was still so much like the child I remembered . . . back when she was younger . . . My fur didn't have the calming effect it usually had. Maybe it was because I was crying too.
"The Light kept me here. I could've saved him! It told me I could go, but then it went against what it said! SORA DIDN'T HAVE TO DIE!"
I held her tighter as she sobbed.
I thought that Sari would be here by now . . . just like I thought that Sora could take that one last burst of my hate. I really hadn't meant to kill him, and I really didn't want to do this now . . .
The padawan looked back at me, trying to hold back her fear, but failing. She had seen what I'd done to Sora . . . but never the less she tried to look strong.
It killed me on the inside, knowing what I had to do. I had to kill this girl, to kill Sari, to kill The Darkness.
But if it had to be done to buy my freedom . . .
I did the same thing to the padawan as I had done to Sora. In my mind, the padawan was The Darkness, weak, defenseless . . . My anger, my rage, my hate . . . I unleashed it. But something irked me. The padawan's high-pitched screams didn't sound like The Darkness'. But then again, I'd never heard The Darkness scream before . . .
"I'm going Bow. I'm going to help them."
"You're not going anywhere." The Light said as it appeared behind Bow.
"I won't let anyone else die." I said, unwrapping myself from Bow's embrace.
"You're staying here."
"He's already killed Sora! How many more will have to die before you let me go? And why won't you tell me why you won't let me stop him?"
"It's not that I don't want you to stop him. It's that you are far too rash and unpredictable for your own good."
"Oh, you just don't want me to go over to his side, huh? You don't want me to leave you. Well it's not working! You know what? I give up. I'm tired of always being ordered to kill my 'enemy'. I'm tired of going through all these 'tests'. I'm tired of waking up and knowing that I have to follow this prophecy that will result in nothing but tears. You have no more power over me … Come on Bow." I got up and headed for the door.
"Bow." The Light warned. "Don't follow her. She is on the path to darkness."
"It seems to me that she's on the path to light." Bow started to follow me.
"Bow, I am your master. You are my servant." The Light said. "I order you to stop her."
"You know, I'm kinda tired of you always telling me to kill my brother. Or do you not remember that Shadow is still inside of Dark?"
"Bow."
"Goodbye False Light. You have no more power over us."
The Light vanished.
Who was screaming? My mind told me that it was The Darkness, but it didn't sound like it. It sounded like – the little girl. My eyes filled with tears as I watched her writhe in pain. Her master's expression of horror made my tears fall with increasing speed.
[I didn't want to do this.] I thought, somehow hoping that the girl's master could hear me . . .
The padawan's scream cut through the air, cut through my heart, cut through the lies I was trying to use against myself. I stopped the Force lightning, sadness overwhelming me.
But then I remembered that this was the price I had to pay for freedom . . . The crackle of electricity was heard throughout the room . . .
"I have to go alone Bow."
"I understand."
There was silence between us as I opened a teleportation portal.
"Bow?"
"Yes?"
"Thanks for standing by me."
"It was nothing."
More silence.
"Bow?"
"Yes?"
"Did we really just do that? Did we really just disconnect ourselves from The Light?"
"I think so."
The portal was complete, but I didn't step through. "Bow?"
"Yes?"
"Do you think that Black is doing this because of The Darkness? Do you think that he's trying to do what we just did? Do you think that he's trying to be free?"
"I know he is, that they are. Black and Dark are more like us than we care to realize. They're caught in the maze that we just got out of."
"Thanks Bow, for everything." I hugged him one last time before I stepped into the portal.
It was probably time to end it. To prolong the Padawan's suffering any more was unbearable for even me to think about.
The hum of my lightsaber filled the room. The Jedi knew what was going to happen before I even started walking towards the Padawan. They couldn't bear to watch . . . The Padawan lay below me, her sharp intakes of breath were one of the many indicators of how much pain she was in. I was doing her a favor in killing her . . . She wouldn't feel any more pain.
[But she wouldn't be able to be free either. She wouldn't be able to live her life. It would be taken from her . . . by me.] I thought. [But it's her freedom, for my freedom.]
I brought my lightsaber close to the Padawan's neck . . . She felt so peaceful . . . underneath the expression of pain . . . I couldn't possibly . . . I would do what I had to for my freedom . . .
The first thing I saw as I exited the portal was Black holding his lightsaber blade to a Padawan's neck.
A Padawan.
A child.
I almost let my anger against him build, but I stopped it. I had to save the girl. All heads turned towards me as I ignited my lightsaber. The Jedi were happy, and strangely, so was Black.
Black eagerly moved his blade away from the Padawan and turned towards me. A smile crossed his face. He pushed the Padawan towards her master and the other Jedi and advanced towards me, murder in his eyes.
He brought his blade down hard against mine, but I held my block. He slammed his blade against mine again, hoping to break my block with sheer power. I kicked him backwards. He rolled once before righting himself.
I couldn't defeat Sari using my power. I had to use my speed.
Only now did I realize that I should've used the Padawan as a way of getting Sari to surrender. But then again, I didn't want her to surrender, I wanted to be stronger.
This was going to be harder than I thought . . .
After I got up, Sari went on the offensive. She slashed at me, not giving me any time to counter, then pushed me into the far wall. The impact stunned me for a second, but I recovered quickly and lunged for Sari.
She should have been impaled on my blade, but at the last possible second she twisted out of the way. Suddenly, she was in the perfect position to attack me.
She had every reason to bring her blade down and cut my arm off. I wouldn't have blamed her if she had. That would have been the end of the battle, and probably, the end of me.
But she didn't . . .
I don't know why I didn't attack him when I had the chance. After I dodged his lunge, he recovered quickly and came at me, his lightsaber a blur. I ha – extremely disliked it when he attacked with speed. It was a challenge trying to keep up with him . . .
This was getting tiring for both of us. I don't remember fighting Sari being this hard, but then again, Sari had been hurt or tired nearly every time that I had fought her before. I felt myself slowing, but I wanted my freedom! Driven on by my emotions, I pressed my attack.
I don't know how many times I pushed Black away from me. Every time that he forced me close to the wall, I pushed him back, but I could tell that I was tiring. Black was coming at me and I sent a blast of energy his way, but his own blast of power overwhelmed mine and pressed me against the wall …
But I needed to win. I needed to save –
Who was I really trying to save? My mind said the Jedi, but . . .
I wanted to save Black. I wanted to save him from the maze . . .
I didn't know that she would have so much reserve power. Light energy enveloped me and I fell to the floor. Sari stood over me, light flowing from her fingers. I was defeated. This was the end.
The light energy stopped and I waited. Waited for more pain. It seemed like I could never escape from it . . . Unless she'd be so kind as to run her lightsaber through my neck. Perhaps death was my freedom . . . Perhaps it was the only way to be free from The Darkness . . .
"Black, why do you want to kill me so bad?" I had to know. I had to hear it from him . . .
"I don't really want to kill you, but I want to destroy The Darkness. The only way to do that is to become stronger. The only way to become stronger is to –"
"You think that if you kill me, you can DESTROY The Darkness? You think that you can actually defeat it? No . . . you can't destroy it, but there is a way to be free of it . . ."
Sari held her hand out towards me. "Come with me." She said. "I can give you freedom." I took her hand.
It was all I ever wanted …