Gone for the Last Time
Disclaimer: Gilmore Girls does not belong to me.
It was raining and I had just finished another chapter of my story "Café Visitor" also a GG fic, when I felt the urge to write this. This is a oneshot. If there are any similarities between this and another story it was completely unintended.
The diamond sparkled in the early light, with the gold casting off a warm reflection. The wedding band was comfortably snug on the pale finger, and it was constantly being touched and looked at. Rory could not believe she was married. Now on the third week of her honeymoon in Southern Italy, the shock and delight had not soaked in. Her glance drifted to her recently photographed wedding picture, with her in her white dress and her husband Logan in a black tuxedo.
The wedding had been extravagant, though not designed by her, but Emily. It took place in Stars Hollow only after Rory and Lorelai's consistent begging. It was nice ceremony with all her friends and family, but there were also people whom she had no idea who they were. Rory didn't have any complaints though. She was happy and content.
Then the call came.
"Hey Logan, get the phone!" Rory called into the bedroom of their rented villa.
Logan appeared at the door, "It's for you Ace. Luke."
Rory looked at the phone puzzled. Why would Luke call her? "Hello?" she asked.
"Hey Rory," Luke's breathing sounded strange. "Something happened." Rory could tell by the tone of his voice that it was not good.
"Is everything ok? What's wrong? Oh my god, is it my mom?"
"No, no Rory your mom and I are all right. It's…" he broke off. In the background, Rory could hear her mother in a soothing voice say 'it's ok'.
"Hello?" Lorelai asked.
"Mom!" Rory cried out, "What's wrong with Luke?"
Her mother's voice came out shaky and unsure, "Honey, we agreed that it would be best to tell you when get here. Stars Hollow. You have to come now. It is important. Please, Rory."
"Ok," spoke Rory, worried. "I'll tell Logan to pack our stuff. We'll be there soon."
"Sure, sure, ok. I love you."
"I love you too," and they both hung up. Rory nerves were frazzled. What was wrong? What could have happened? She told Logan about the conversation and they immediately began to pack up. They drove to the nearest airport, bought tickets, and departed. After a long flight, and a long drive they arrived at Stars Hollow just as the sun started it's journey down.
Rory ran into Luke's Diner at full speed. "Mom! Luke! I'm home!" she called out.
"Rory!" Lorelai cried with her arms out. They embraced happy to be together, but one look to Luke's face brought her back to reality. Luke's eyes were red, and swollen. He had been crying. The only times Rory could remember having ever seen Luke cry was at her high school graduation, and at her wedding, but it was nothing to this. Lorelai, in turn, also had a puffed face. She was looking sadly at her daughter a few tears escaping. Rory looked between the two of them in horror.
Logan walked in, "What wrong? Lorelai?"
"Rory," Luke started but seemed to choke. Instead, Lorelai took up talking.
Her voice was the same as it was on the phone, shaky and unsure of it's self, "Rory, baby, there was an accident. It was Jess," Rory took in a breath and hung her head. "He was going back to his apartment from work and a car, a drunk driver, slammed into Jess's car." All Rory heard was Going back…a car…drunk driver…slammed…Jess…He's dead. Rory's head shot up.
"What?"
"He's dead Rory. Jess didn't make it out alive. He's gone."
Her blue eyes grew wide in disbelief, and they welled up with tears. A ragged sob came from her mouth. She clutched onto the counter. Another breath and moan. She slowly slid onto the floor. The tears were falling, faster and faster. Her mouth hung open and tears slid in; her red lips wet and salty. Dead…Jess…He's dead…he left again. Her thoughts came in clumps and scrambled words. She vaguely felt arms wrap around her. Her body cringed at the touch and she let out another cry. Gone.
"Damn it Jess!" she cried. Through a hazy, dazed vision she could see her mom crying beside her, Logan sitting, looking out a window uncomfortable and Luke standing above her shaking. Her own body was shaking, her face flushed. She needed to get away. "I'll be back."
She ran to her own house, into her old room. The familiarity hit her like a hurricane. She stumbled over to the bookcase, and quickly began fumbling for her thin paperback. She found it, and hurried out of the house. She ran, eyes red, breathing irregular, half knowing where, and half having no idea where she was headed.
She ended up on the bridge. Rory collapsed on the wooden structure, breathing hard. She clutched the book between both hands so tight that her knuckles turned white. Howl. She flipped open the pages to controversial poetry and small, decent script. She read his words laughing, and crying at the same time remembering his sarcasm as he wrote it on the page. Seems like our Allen had himself some great sex. Did I get you to blush? Rory touched her fingertips to words, smiling about how she had blushed when she first read that.
She softly closed the book as if it were extremely delicate and held to her chest. Distant thunder brought no comfort as she inhaled Howl's musty scent and sighed. She looked out across the water. Rory's mind floated back into the past, the perfect past. Intact, golden, and with a young man still alive. Jess.
She hated this. This feeling that raged her body, her every being. A feeling of total loss. A feeling which you only get when you lose something you truly love. She hadn't loved him had she? Rory felt confused, but then she remembered that feeling she got when he had told her that he loved her for the first time and fled. She had hadn't she. Even after all the times he had gone, she had loved him. And now, here he was once again, "Gone."
The word fell from her lips like lead. The pain welled up again, and she cried. Not the ragged, choking sobs she had had back in the diner, but soft, withered tears. Tears of old broken heart barely figuring out it was broken.
Rory lay down on the aged bridge, clutching still to her chest the paperback, and wept. The thunder was closer now. A summer storm had picked its date perfectly, with the young woman still lying down. It let down its rain, lightly, as if not to disturbed her. All Rory did was protect the book from the water, and pull her legs to her chest.
Underneath, the wood pounded with footsteps. Lorelai was calling her in worried voice just behind Logan who was less than two steps away from her limp, wet body. Luke was still at the beginning of the bridge unable to step forward. Lorelai and Logan reached her and tried to help her stand.
"Gone. Again. The last time," she whispered and in some morbid way, the last three words brought her comfort.
Review. Tell me what you think. Love it, hate it, hate me…whatever. I just want some kind of feed back. Thank you.
Much Love,
Mira