A/N: Trying to make sense of cannon (ugh!!!) but mostly, this fic is written for DreamsOfSpike – for Christmas – who said she'd write smut from me! I mean.... it's for this other... yeah right... Happy Holidays!
Barney never wanted any of this.
He would have been happy chasing girls and making out with strangers. It was fun.
There was a certain thrill and rush from it all. From knowing you can do whatever you want and not worry about the repercussions; from having to actually get to know the person and finding out their flaws and annoying habits, the 'oh' moment. And it was just as nice to know that they wouldn't have to know about your flaws. That they wouldn't be able point them out and amuse themselves with it, that they couldn't tease you and laugh at you and then leave you because of it. Because they had gotten to know you and they realized you weren't worth the time.
It was just comforting to know that you never had to worry about that kind of stuff. Plus, the excitement and adrenaline rush of sex shouldn't have to be weighted down by all that emotional crap.
Ted didn't know understand any of that. He was naïve about that kind of stuff, which was nice – in its own way. Until Stella came along.
He recovered pretty quickly, though; and then he was out there again: trying to get a date, trying to find someone to connect to, trying to find the one.
Which, just goes to prove how naïve he still was.
Barney knew the truth. He knew that nothing lasts forever. That love was a temporary illusion – for the most part – and that believing that one day someone will come along and that person will love and care about you is as silly as believing in Peter Pan. The world is a cruel place, deal with it.
And that is exactly what Barney Stinson did. He adapted, he learned from his mistakes and he came to see the reality. That life will kick you when you're getting comfortable, when you think you've got it all, when you're down and when you've done nothing wrong; so you should just take advantage of any situation you can. Just have fun and go for it, because you can't lose much when it's always in danger anyways.
He knew and was devoted to this philosophy: live. Don't look back and don't look ahead, just live life to its fullest.
He made a few friends on the way – you gotta have friends.
But love – loving outside of friendship – actually devoting yourself to one single other person and trusting them with the most precious entity you could ever trust another person with... that was different.
Robin was different.
It was wonderful... he finally got the girl. And this time, things were different.
Last time, with Shannon, he was a total (as Robin would say) sap. He waited on her hand and foot, building his whole life, his whole future around her, confident of their success and happiness. But this time he knew better.
He hadn't had to play the boyfriend part in a while, so he was rusty, but some acts are hard to forget. And besides, Robin was different.
She wasn't like Shannon. She demanded elbow room, she had ambitions and dreams... and they both knew it wasn't going to last forever.
So when Lily locked them in their room and forced them to talk, the fog lifted from Barney's illusions. The summer was fun. He would never forget the summer of 2009 and would be sure to review the recorded footage in all its depth (including the times they simply nuzzled by the TV). But he knew.
As soon as Robin's giggles faded and she pointedly asked him where he thought their relationship would lead to, he knew the answer.
He wasn't meant to date. He didn't want to.
It was fun for a time, but, eventually, it would end. It was only a matter of time, and since that was the case, he should spend all his time enjoying what they had at the moment. If ever an argument began, he walked away, prolonging the inevitable... or any greater attachment...
And then it happened, and Ted and Marshall and Lily all agreed it was for the best too – because they understood. Marshall and Lily were lucky – damn lucky – but the thing they had, that was rare. Ted was a dreamer, a wishful thinker, but he was determined – which was something Barney admired (not that he'd ever tell him so). They were foolish enough to believe it could happen, and lucky enough to have found it – but Barney gave up to reality a long time ago.
Robin and he were going to break up.
Robin would pick herself up.
He would revert back to picking up bimboes.
Robin was going to be an important reporter and tell real stories, inform the people about what's going, about what makes their world turn.
He couldn't be there for that – he couldn't even get her a good job, just some crappy morning show.
They would be fine. Everything would keep going; the world wasn't going to stop on account of them.
And, maybe, Barney wouldn't mind it so much when Robin found a guy who could keep the illusion going a little bit longer.
Because at least then, one of them could be happy.