I realize as I go through life, I want something more than the greater good. I want to make a difference on this world. My life has been filled with small achievements and I honestly think that why I've gotten where I am today. But I want something more. I love that feeling you get when all you can do is try not to swell with pride or grin like an absolute idiot when you realize things are going the way they should. We started here with a purpose and we've strayed from that path more times than I care to count and all I want to do is start from the beginning again. I want to do more. We need to do more. We've come so far that it would physically hurt to crane our necks around to see our path. We've done so much good. G-d, I miss that feeling. I miss that feeling of things going right. It's like a chocolate high. You're so revved up that your feet aren't even touching the ground. Where did that feeling go? Where did my patriotic sense go? When did I become this way? When did I become so cynical?

Don't answer that. I won't like your answer anyway.

I want to be patriotic again. I want to relish in all of the colors and wrap myself in the flag. I want to tread on the steps of the Capitol and feel the adrenaline rush through my blood until my heart beat drowns out the Washington noise. I want it so bad that it aches in my chest and it burns whenever I open my mouth. I have never wanted anything more in my life. I wanted this since I was little. I wanted to stand in the front of the doors and say, "I am your government! I will do the right thing! Lower taxes! Better wages! G-d forsake me! I will help you!"

Yes, I am well aware that I am not your G-d and will never be your G-d. Stop smirking. You know I hate it when you smirk.

How do I get there? I don't remember the path I took to get here and I don't know how to find my way back. I want to be like I was again. I want to be in politics more than anything else in the world and I'm out of the loop. I don't know how to get into it but I need to go back. I'm dying here and all I need you to do is reach out your hands and help me.

I've forgotten what love and passion feel like. I haven't loved someone for such a long time. I've married my job and I didn't expect my life to turn out this way. I married my job without intending to. Sure, I've had women while I'm here. Joey, Amy, and whoever else came my way. But why have you always been there? Better yet, why I am talking in circles? You're looking at me like I'm crazy and I can't blame you. I've been talking in circles for twenty minutes. I've never met anyone that could frustrate me as much as you do. I've been married to my job and you've been married to yours. So wouldn't that constitute that we're married to say people? I think there are laws against that in this country.

Okay, I'll stop trying to be funny. Funny is not working for us tonight.

I want to be the way I was, Donna. I miss the way I was. I want to go back from when I first burst through this doors, screaming your name after you left Doctor Freeride. I screwed up this time and I want to go back. I'm going to go back and be bigger and better than before. I want my patriotic spirit back and I will go hell or high water to get it. I came into this job with a different attitude that I have now. And I need to change that. I'll reform my ways. Starting here, starting now.

And my first reform, is with us.