You know that feeling, in which you are so happy, but that happiness is overshadowed over worries, scariness and sadness, well that was not the feeling Remus Lupin was feeling right now. Was it still there? Yeah, yes it was. Did he knew it was there, even if tried his hardest to forget? Yeah, he knew. Does that now necessarily means that it must overpower any other emotion? Well, for most people it does, and in so much situations he was 'most people.' But this time, to his utterly surprise, and probably any other person his knows, or to be more specific his parents, he was more happy than sad. He met people in his life that always felt like this, he was jealous. How can one be happy even when sad? Well now he knows, it is about stuff and miracles that happen.

Miracles. Ha. You always hear about them, but do they happen? Well people will say no, and he would too, but he knew they actually did happen. How did he knew? Well it happened to him, but it isn't one of those, 'i won a lottery' or 'i got a O without touching book',no, his miracle was a big one. It started maybe when he was born, maybe when he said his first word, maybe at age of 4 when that happened, and maybe at September 1st, of 1971. Or much later, but he did hope for it, and it did came.

He believed it happened at September 1st, and that is the time he should start his tale. And for sore warning, this tale is not like any other. For starters it is actually real, it is covered with tragedy and sadness, and most importantly, oh god it does not have happy ending.

Thrilled. If he needed to choose any word to describe his current situation it would be thrilled. Why? Well it sounds smart, better say thrilled then happy or joyful. Then some people may be confused at what it actually means, there are some really dumb people that can't even process some easy word like sad, let alone thrilled. And now why he was thrilled? Well his only dream has come true, now that was a lie, he has many other dreams, but they are impossible to achieve. Well, he did get this one, which one month ago looked like it was miles away.
What happened, you may ask. Well lets just say you are sitting there, 'it' never really looked out for you. 'It' was just some 'stupid idea' or 'stupid dream' your mom says, but you know 'it' is something you need, that can help you, 'it' is somewhere where you belong, maybe you will not be excepted, but it is somewhere you want to be. By now, 'it' was shadowed, with your mom talking about how it isn't going to happen, how you aren't in a place right now to go or do 'it', and sadly your dad agrees, he nods his head saying 'give up', not really saying it, but you can see the look in his eyes, that look always spoke what he thought. So you are now accepting that 'it' is never going to happen, but boom- it does happen. You are happy. Your parents say there are happy, you are to disinterested at their opinion to notice the unhappiness. You are yourself, you can be happy for something without thinking about what may happen.

Well Remus was that person right now, and 'it' was Hogwarts, and 'boom' was Albus Dumbledore.

He was happy month ago, now he was thrilled, excited and worried.

Thrilled – he already said, no need to go on about that again.

Excited- not something he needs to explain, it is far too easy to understand.

Worried- he maybe needs to get into this one. His worries split into four topics. He counted them, did not write them tho, only memorized every word of his thoughts.

He had his worry number one.

What if he doesn't fit in any of the houses? What if he is an outcast, again? Well this worry wasn't completely original. Let's just say it is copy-paste worry every first year gets. But still, doesn't make it any less worthy thought or scary idea.

Now to his worry number two, being bad at magic.

One more unoriginal thought, but equally scary like any other. He comes there, with his wand and can do the easy 'lumos' or he can't make one easy potion.

Then there is worry number three.

Him being his antisocial self, he doesn't think any of 'really friends' would happen to him this year. He was far too unlikeable and paranoid to be social. So he would find it completely normal for people to dislike him, god, even he dislikes him!

And final, him making friends.

This is the worst worry of them all. Because he hoped it would happen. He can't do friends! But he wants too. Even if he finds them, he can't keep lying to them forever! They wouldn't be stupid, they have calendar. They would leave him in less then minute, and he will be at stage one, the stage 'worried first year' even if he was seventeen. He knew there was someone on this planet who would actually accept him, but in this practical school? Well, no sir. While he was getting on the train he could see faces. He could see happy ones, those kids who just ended their forever-looking hugs with their parents, who wait for their best friends , or are already with them. They all just stay in that one place smiling and talking. Oh god, they all looked like plastic dolls. Only with much more facial expressions and a lot more problems.

As he didn't have any reason to stay outside he found an empty compartments. He first wanted to be in one at the end of train, where there was no one to distract him, but then he remembered, how can he make friends if they can't even find a way to him? So he sat there. Does compartments smelled really good, like chocolate, they were comfy too. He could easily fell asleep. The train ride is four hours long. He can sit there and wait for some hopeless kid to join for one hour, and if nobody comes he can fall asleep. That did sound like a plan, a plan he is going to follow.

He watched as kids went and went, not even spearing him a glance, and those who did didn't even try staying for more then minute, it was like 'I AM WEREWOLF' was written on his forehead, that really wasn't the way he wants his classmates to find out, there actually isn't one.

Maybe he can smile, there is no reason, but he will smile. Smiling is major turn on for friendships. Be happy and have a grin from ear to ear. People don't like when you are gloomy, his father told him that. So it is best to keep smiling, smile and smile. Remus didn't smile often, didn't have a reason. No one ever told him 'you have a nice smile', so he didn't know how he looked like. Maybe he had one of those charming smiles, maybe it looked forced, or like it is trying to hard. He won't know unless someone tells him, he will ask the first person that comes in what kind of smile he has. That was something he will do.

He was smiling to himself that he didn't even catch a small boy who stood there for god knows how long. Boy looked uncomfortable, so he had that kind of smile, nice. He started gazing at him like there was something on his face, wow maybe that werewolf thing did happen. 'Hello.' Remus splattered, boy looked freaked out, and Remus kept smiling, yeah maybe he should stop that.

'I said hello.', yeah that will help you find friends buddy.

'I heard.', okay, no need to be rude, maybe try to turn a new page, yeah that'll work.

'Can we start over?' boy gave him a short nod, maybe this will turn out good, 'My name is Remus Lupin, and yours?'.

'That's a kinda odd name... And yeah I'm Peter.'

'I guess it fits my persona.'.

'I guess it does.'.

At other part of the train, another tale was at it's beginning. The skinny boy was talking to his parents, he didn't really listen to them, just nod with every basic thing that they would say every they, but he would still fail to do that. 'Don't cause trouble.', like his late grandma said, trouble usually finds him, 'Be nice.', well he could do that, but there are some people who don't deserve 'nice'. The list of pointless rules of his beloved mother could go on and on... The point was he still won't listen to her, it wasn't like he had time, he was to busy being stuck in his own world.

On this trip to Hogwarts he was going sure, he was sure what house he was going to be, he was sure that he will make a lot of friends, and of course he was sure in himself and his skills. On that train station he eyed every single kid, he doesn't really wanna be friends with someone to sloppy, of course blood status didn't matter, he already had friend, Marlene McKinnon, but that girl was too clumsy, and he wasn't really bothered to wait her, so he saw some other boy, he looked nice enough, maybe he should talk to him.

'Hi sir.', he just looked at him, the boy had long hair, he didn't look like he is wishing a conversation with James, but it wasn't like he was giving up.

'Not much of a talker are we? Let's start nice, I'm James, and you are?'.

'Sirius, pft James, kinda basic isn't it?' Sirius said, well to can play that game buddy.

'Oh I'm sorry Sirius, at least my name doesn't sound older then Merlin's left sandal, it's modern.'.

'Sirius is name of a star you big dog, and it's old fashioned and nice, and what's your last name James?'.

'Potter, it's really nobel, i wear it like a crown, so you better not insult that.'.

'Oh I'm Black, i wear it like a lot of stuff, but surely not crown, if you not what i mean.'.

'They are really bad?'

'I will tell. I like you James, you aren't that bad.'

'We share opinion, now what house do you wanna be?'

Remus and Peter talked for hours, their full Hogwarts trip. Remus liked Peter, he wasn't bad, he was nice enough, and he was a talker, which really helped. They were almost there, He was happy, really really happy, he had a friend, and if Merlin gave, they will stay friends, and maybe be at the same house.

The point was Remus was happy, which didn't happen in a long time.