Hey Yall.
It's Fred's Last Angel (formerly iluvroxasXII) again with a Harry Potter story.
I have no clue where the flip this came from.
Got the title from the chorus of Ruin by Lamb of God.
I don't own Harry Potter but I wish I did.
Lub Ya!
-Fred's Last Angel
Fear, Pain, Hatred, Power
The fear. The fear of losing him to Voldemort. The fear of him actually beleiving his parents' and Voldemort's 'Pure Blood' idealology. The fear of him killing me before he even got to know me.
The pain. The pain of him spewing horrid things from his mouth. The pain of being attracted to his good physique and not getting anything in return. The pain of not knowing what is going to happen between the two of us, if anything was to happen at all.
The hatred. The hatred of my smarts. The hatred of the cruel ways of pure-bloods. The hatred of cheap things that he hangs off his arm. The hatred of the people who think they understand me but they don't.
The power. The power that he holds over me is like a puppet with its strings. The power that his beautiful grey-blue eyes have on me when he looks me in the eye and questions my logic. The power that he has on my heart terrifies me.
We sit in the prefect rooms, careful not to be seen by others. For some reason, he actually has become the person that I confide in when I don't want to confide in anyone else. I tell him how much I hate myself and how much I hate my life. I tell him about the facade that I wear daily and how the clay mask that I have molded for myself is slowly cracking letting my real self show through.
He knows that I think I'm rotten, vile, putrid, but he thinks nothing of it. He laughs at my tendencies to be perfect but I know he's the same way, too.
He tries to live up to his parent's expectations but he's slowly breaking inside. He tries to insult others and make up lies and beat on people but I know he's empty. Everything he does is empty. He's too far away from comprehension of the things he does that he does things without knowing. He only does things by instinct.
The fear. The fear of letting my parents know that I love a muggle-born. The fear of the Dark Lord taking her away from me. The fear of losing her.
The pain. The pain that I feel when I insult her. The pain that I feel when I'm in a freaking girl's bathroom crying to a ghost. The pain that I feel when I put on the clay mask that I wear every day, shutting off all emotion.
The hatred. The hatred when I see the Weasley making moves on her. The hatred that I feel when Snape insults her in class. The hatred that I feel when I see her crying alone and can't help her.
The power. The power that I have to make her mine. The power that I have to make an influence on people to do what I want. The power that I have to sever all the ties that I have and manage to stand alone.
She shows me that I can't be Mr. Superman. I can't hold in my emotions all the time. I can't hide anything from her, because she's the same. She has a mask just like mine and it's breaking just like mine.
She knows that I think that I'm nothing, stupid, weak, but she doesn't care. She laughs at my attempt to be perfect but I know she's the same as me.
I know that she's slowly dying inside just like me. I know that the constant strain of trying to be happy isn't going to last long. In the classes that we have together, I can see the clay mask of hers crack a little bit more every day. It starts with the mouth, how it turns down just a bit. Then the eyes, how they're more red and the circles underneath darker. After that is the body, how it becomes more frail and tiny. I'm just waiting for her mask to fail her and let her true colors show. Maybe then I can save her.
They know that the love that they feel for each other is wrong. They know that the chances of them surviving together is miniscule and if it were to survive, to be looked down by others.
The girl doesn't care. She doesn't have anyone left. Sure, she may have friends, but do they understand her like the boy? No, they don't. They don't understand the pain that she feels when she's alone, when she cuts her wrists in the bathrooms and tries fruitlessly to stop but just can't for the fear of breaking.
The boy doesn't care, either. He feels so alone. Sure, his lackeys and good for nothing parents are there, but is there any love? No, there isn't any love. They don't understand that he needs love and not coldness. They don't understand that he only complies with their wishes and demands because that's all he knows.
They know their love defies all logic and they don't care. They embrace each other in secret moments the have to themselves and kiss with all the emotion they have to give. They give themselves to the other knowing that it will be the end if the other lets go.
They know that their love will last as long as they want it to last. They're afraid of letting each other go. They want to stay together forever.
The girl is Hermione Granger and the boy is Draco Malfoy. Let us wish them the best in the afterlife.
Yah...the last line is very confusing.
Let's just say that Voldemort has a look into Draco's mind and sees Hermione and kills her (cuz she's a Muggle-born) then Draco follows cuz he knows no one understands him like she does.
I dunno. Think of something if you want, I don't care.
Please review.
-Fred's Last Angel