Title: Bittersweet
Author: xofalling2deep
Summary: It's just another bittersweet love song and now I'm just rambling. Sharpay's bitter refusal to admit that there's a reason behind her decision to start singing a love song.
Word Count: 855
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It's just another bittersweet love song.
I love you. I need you. I messed up, but I can't live without you.
I've heard these lyrics before, played this simple melody one too many times. It's always the same, really. Heartbreak comes and goes. These songs, pathetic as they are, were designed to help you move on. The most pathetic people never even realize they've done this a million times before. Me, on the other hand, I guess I'm one of those people.
I don't even know who I'm singing about this time. This song sort of started playing itself using my hands and my voice. Maybe it wanted to choose the best? Or maybe, just maybe, I'm feeling that broken heart thing again.
Sure, he chose her over me. And sure, she's smarter than me...maybe a little more sophisticated, you never really know. But she's not prettier than me. We both knew that from the start. Is that why he picked her? To prove that even the ever-popular basketball boy finds personality more important than looks? Hah. He doesn't even believe that himself. And I don't care. I really don't.
What does she have that I don't? Let me show you that I can love you more.
It was never a question of whether I deserved him or not. It was a matter of whether he was willing to admit that I'm better for him. I guess he chose not to. It's understandable, really. After all, I'm heartless, right? But if I was heartless, then this song wouldn't be playing and my heart wouldn't be breaking.
So I admit it. This matters to me a little. Or maybe it matters a lot. Still, he's just the basketball boy and I'm just the drama queen and together can never be an option. As the resident Ice Princess of East High, the rules of Breaking Free just don't apply. And, gosh, now I'm rhyming in these bitter thoughts of mine. This love song, this useless love song, is affecting how I think. How sad.
Look me in the eyes and tell me you don't feel this. Tell me you don't love me and please mean it.
I don't really need him. After all this time, I've learned to get by. Not like I've ever wanted...needed...loved him before anyway. There hasn't been one night I've cried myself to sleep because of him. There hasn't been one day I've needed to just hear his voice or see his smile. That's what love is, right? Not being able to get through life without knowing that person feels the same way? So I can't possibly love him because I can definitely live without him.
What is this even for? Why am I still playing this song and singing these lyrics? Only people who have nothing better to do than think about their silly broken heart listen to these love songs, let alone sing them. There are so many other songs I can sing. Real songs from musicals—any musical except for Twinkle Towne would be better than this song.
I've got to move on. I can't keep feeling this way for someone who doesn't care.
If he loved me...there's that word again. But if, for some reason, he loved me, he would've chosen me. Not the brainiac he's constantly seen with now. He chose her. He loves her. I don't...It shouldn't matter to me. And, as many times as I tell myself it doesn't matter, it still can't be the truth. But why, why does he matter to me?
Maybe it's because there was something there before the 'uprising' of the student population. Maybe it's because we have more in common than he'd ever admit. Maybe it's because of the whispered apologies he's given each time my façade betrays my emotions and I actually look hurt for a split-second. The secret glances he used to steal when he thought I wasn't paying attention, the smile he reserved just for me—maybe that's why I care so much.
But this broken heart will mend and I'll learn to smile again. But I'll always love you.
Then again, this is just a bittersweet love song that has no actual purpose. I'm over-thinking things and he just doesn't matter to me. I sing in musicals, of course I'd start singing a sappy love song. Every respected musical has one—All I Ask of You, Phantom of the Opera; I'm Not that Girl, Wicked; Hopelessly Devoted to You, Grease. That's all this is. It's just a release of creative energy which just happens to be in the form of a love song. Nothing more, nothing less...this is what it is and I shouldn't make it anything more...if that makes any sense at all.
He's just a boy and I'm the girl he didn't choose.
He's just a boy and I'm the girl that deserves better than him.
He's just a boy and I don't even care.
He's just Chad Danforth, I'm just Sharpay Evans, and nothing has changed.
And this...this song?
It's just another bittersweet love song.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A/N: Gosh, I can't believe you actually sat there and read this. It was painful to read over once again, but I hope that somewhere inside a part of you enjoyed it. This took maybe 20 minutes to write after I heard yet another love song on the radio. This might just be one of the worst things I've written in a while, but I'd still appreciate reviews. I have no beta, all the mistakes you might find are my own. Like I said, please review.
To those readers who are waiting for an update for Dreams, Secrets, and True Love or A Few Simple Lyrics, I'd like to say that it's coming but honestly I've lost all inspiration for those stories. Not even watching the movie for the umpteenth time is going to help me, trust me I've tried. I do, however, have a few one-shots on my computer I just might upload.