Rating: M

Warnings: shounen ai/yaoi, lemon, PWP

Pairing: Platinum, others implied

Yagyuu Hiroshi was a talented person. He was exceedingly intelligent, socially graceful, and a natural athlete. On top of that, he was blessed with amazingly handsome and strong features, something that drew women and men alike to him. He was pragmatic and intellectual and always polite and considerate, and as Niou Masaharu sat cross-legged on his bedroom floor, staring hard at the photographs he'd taken of him just over the past weekend, he began to think more and more that Yagyuu Hiroshi was his ideal.

He sighed, finally sitting up straight and relieving his sore spinal cord, swiping long, silver bangs away from his face. He stood up and yawned, then padded over to one of the full-length mirrors hanging on his wall and stared at himself. His black, super-tight tank top hugged his thin, fat free torso, and his shapely hip flexors jutted from the waistband of the black lounge pants that framed his long, lean legs.

His long hair was shiny and beautiful, and his bright blue eyes were perfect to contrast against his mid-tone skin, which was clear and glowing with health. The only flaw on his perfect face was the huge frown on his smooth, thin lips. Niou sighed and slumped down to the floor, unable to stare at himself for another second. He may have been able to get almost any gay man he wanted, and maybe even a few straight ones, but the terrible reality of his life was that he'd never get Yagyuu.

He pulled his knees up to his chest and rested his chin in the dip between them, knitting his eyebrows in resolution. There had to be a way to make his double's partner fall for him. And as Rikkaidai's Trickster, it couldn't have been anything too hard to figure out. Suddenly, he stood up, skidded over to his dresser and groped for his Palm Pilot. He powered it up, then made note of every idea that popped into his head.

He paged through his recent tricks and rattled them off like ice cream flavors. "Whipped cream, shoelaces, roller skates, fake I.D., changed cell number, staged suicide, staged homicide…" Niou sighed loudly and lay back on his bed, his soft hair becoming a shiny blanket for his freakish dolls. The problem was, he had never had to trick someone into falling in love with him. He didn't have a plan A, a plan B, a plan C or a plan D for anything like that. He tapped his chin with the stylus.

"Help me!" he groaned, slapping his right shoulder. A miniature version of Yukimura, complete with a halo and wings, appeared and sat next to his ear.

"If you and Yagyuu are really meant for eachother," he began softly, tugging on a piece of Niou's hair, "then you won't need to do anything."

"True," he replied, frowning slightly at Yukimura angel's contented smile, "but what if we're not? How can I make it so that we are…?"

He glanced to his left, where Kirihara was suddenly standing in devil form, only this time with adorable horns and a tail. "Don't listen to him," he sang, stomping happily on Niou's bony shoulder. "You can always force him…"

"What do I do?" asked Niou, exasperated. Had it really come to hallucinations?

"Hm, tie him up," replied Kirihara devil smugly, folding his arms and gazing at Yukimura angel. "That's what I'd do…"

"Huh, that has good trick potential, I guess…" Niou bit his thumbnail and looked at his closed door, trying to work out the situation in his head.

"Oh, so that's how you wanna play it, huh?" Yukimura angel's voice was dripping with venomous jealousy. What made Niou choose him as his angel he would never know. "Beat him with one of his golf clubs and knock him out!"

Kirihara devil flailed indignantly, nearly falling off Niou. "Set him on fire!" he shot back, and Yukimura angel stood.

"Poison his food!" he shouted, fluttering his tiny wings and glaring blatantly at Kirihara devil.

"Push him out a window!" he retorted heatedly, swishing his pointed black tail and hunkering down in frog position.

"Feed him to junkyard dogs!"

"Lock him in a room full of hyper kindergarteners!"

"Drown him in a bathtub!"

"Superglue him to the back of a bumper car!"

"Stop!" Niou interjected, burying his face in his hands. "I wanna make him love me, not kill him!"

The good and evil consciences, who were both acting very evil actually, let out loud sighs, then fell silent in thought. It took them a few minutes, but they both seemed to agree on the next suggestion. "Seduce him!" they both exclaimed at the same time. Niou stood up, grinning.

"That's perfect!" he cried, once again alone in his bedroom. He glanced to either side of him, just to make sure, then covered his face with the pillow. "Well, it would be perfect… There's just one problem…" Niou groaned, tossed the pillow, and rolled onto his stomach. He had never had sex before. He had no idea how to seduce Yagyuu.

He sat up again and thought as hard as he could. He was in love with Yagyuu. He needed Yagyuu to love him back, he needed Yagyuu. Failure was not an option. Then the solution came to him—use the weakness as an advantage. He lay back down, beaming and clutching his pillow tightly. Soon he wouldn't need it anymore—he'd have Yagyuu.

okokokokokokok

"Please help me…"

Renji heard the pathetic voice murmuring from behind him as he scribbled into his notebook, trying to pay attention to the oh-so boring assembly. He just wished he hadn't.

"Renjiiiiii… Hellllppppp….Puuuuriiiiiii…"

He sighed as he pushed too hard and broke his pencil. Then he whipped his head around and glared at Niou. "What?" he hissed. "I'm trying to pay attention."

"No you're not," mumbled Niou, glancing to the floor and pouting. "I really need to talk to you… In the bathroom…"

Renji turned around and closed his book, rolling his eyes at the sound of Niou's giggle. He stood up and worked his way through the row of already cramped legs and followed his friend to the bathroom. Niou quickly glanced around to make sure there were no outsiders listening in, then sighed loudly and began. "I need to seduce Yagyuu," he blurted, and Renji frowned.

"So?" he asked at length, folding his arms. "Just do it then."

"Nooo…" moaned Niou, threading his fingers through his hair. "I don't know how…"

"Oh." Renji fluffed the back of his hair. "Well, um… You know, just do what comes naturally…"

Niou straightened up suddenly and gazed up at him with renewed hope. "So… it's that easy?"

Renji stiffened his shoulders. "Ah, well, I've never really done it before, but… I mean, how hard could it possibly be, right?"

He didn't seem satisfied. "So… you've never done this before?"

"Eh, well, no, of course not… I'm only fourteen…"

Niou raised his eyebrows as if Renji had just said the most surprising thing in the world. He closed his eyes and sighed. "Yeah…" he murmured softly, as if he'd known that all along. Renji giggled a little.

"I'm sure you'll do fine, Niou—" Renji flinched as Niou suddenly seized his shoulders.

"Wait, Renji!" he shouted, bouncing up and down on his toes. "I can use this to my advantage!"

"What?" asked Renji, shrinking back, slightly surprised. "Use what?"

"There's no way that Yagyuu's a virgin, being as sex godly as he is, and… I'll just tell him that I want to have sex with someone experienced!"

Renji shook his head. "Niou, I don't think you understand… Yagyuu's probably a virgin, too."

Niou knit his thin eyebrows. "That's… He's not. There's no way." He laughed softly, then stalked out of the bedroom. Renji sighed and rolled his eyes. Anything was better than the boring assembly.

okokokokokokok

Yagyuu stared down at his doubles partner as he opened the door to his lonely A frame house. He had asked him to come over that day, like he frequently did since he was always home alone. He was dressed in super-tight light was jeans and a close-fitting t-shirt. Yagyuu shifted slightly. "Hi, Niou," he said, watching the smile spread over his mischievous friend's face. "Um, I just came from golf, so where can I put my clubs?"

Niou shrugged. "Anywhere," he replied, bouncing away. Yagyuu walked in, staring after him. He was typical for a Saturday, jeans and a t-shirt, but there was something different. His hair was straight and loose, his skin was glowing, and his smile was brighter than usual. He set his bag down by the door and followed him.

"Niou?" he called after him, glancing around. Niou didn't usually run off and hide during Yagyuu's visits, but somehow, he wasn't surprised.

"In my room," sang Niou, and Yagyuu began to climb the stairs, his skin prickling. Niou didn't usually play tricks on him, but it wouldn't hurt to be cautious. He really wouldn't have put it past him. He pushed the door open gently and looked around.

"Niou?" he asked, taking a few steps toward the back of the room. He knitted his eyebrows. "Niou," he barked, taking another giant step forward. "This isn't funny. Where are—" He slipped on a piece of paper and fell face first, hitting his head off Niou's black dresser. He groaned, pushing himself back up.

"Yagyuu?" called Niou's voice from behind him. "Are you okay?" He heard him walk up behind him and touch his shoulder gently, but he shoved him off.

"I'm fine," he growled. "Where were you?" He glared at him, and Niou recoiled slightly.

"Um, the bathroom, sorry…" he muttered.

Yagyuu frowned. It didn't add up. "The bathroom? There's no way you could've—" He stopped mid sentence when he saw Niou's hurt face. "Never mind…"

"Are you bleeding?" asked Niou quietly, touching where Yagyuu had hit his head. He flinched, and Niou pulled away. "Sorry," he said, helping him up. "Here why don't you just sit down, okay?" He pushed him down onto his bed, then straddled his lap and kissed his injury gently, running his fingers through his hair.

"What are you doing?" asked Yagyuu quietly, and Niou pulled away and stared down at him.

"Kissing it better," he replied softly. They locked eyes for a few seconds, and Niou closed the space between them. He kissed his lips sloppily, rolling his hips against Yagyuu. The Gentleman blushed, his body stiffening as Niou's lithe fingers clumsily unbuttoned his shirt. He pulled away.

"What are you doing, Niou?" he asked. Niou's face turned bright pink, his expression becoming frenzied.

"I-I don't know!" he exclaimed, gasping as if he was having a panic attack. "I-I-I just thought that… I mean, that you… I… I…"

Yagyuu adjusted his glasses, overcome with pity for his doubles partner. He was attracted to him. He was trying to come on to him. "Niou," he said gently, lifting him off him and putting him down on his bed. "I think that I should go. You'll be okay, right?"

"Puri." Niou bit his lip and nodded, and Yagyuu turned to go. He didn't want to make Niou feel more embarrassed and uncomfortable than he already did, and he really didn't want to make him cry. He sighed, unable to believe that he had been so oblivious. The corners of his mouth turned upwards as he closed Niou's door behind him. He was going to show his partner just how well he could be him. He had a few tricks of his own.

A/N: It's broken into two parts! Hurry up and click the next chapter!

Disclaimer: I don't own Prince of Tennis. If I did, the homophobes would certainly disapprove.