Una Urosevic
04/02/02.
1 The Life-Giver
Severus Snape stepped out of the fireplace of his family's summer home. He was tall, lanky young man, about sixteen years of age, with midnight-black, shoulder-length hair, pale skin, penetrating, dark eyes, and a rather long hooked nose. He had gotten here by Floo powder, and he still held his suitcase by his side in a thin, long, almost graceful hand.
There was a sound behind him, and his mother, brushing soot off her sleeves emerged from the fireplace.
"Oh dear, this place is a mess," she said, looking around the room. There was an inch of dust covering everything in the house. Another sound, and Severus' father came out of the fireplace.
"Now, Severus dear," Mrs. Snape said, "leave your things in your room and go outside for a while until your father and I clean up the house." And with those words, she pulled her wand out of her robes and conjured a duster.
Severus walked down the familiar stairs to his basement room. He opened the door and paused to gaze around. Everything looked the same as it always had, every single dull summer of his life in this place.
The Snape cottage was located on the west coast of Lake Magus, the largest non-Muggle tourist destination in all of Britain. Severus had spent every summer in his memory here, and things were always the same. His parents would urge him to play with people he didn't like, people who didn't like him; they would drag him to luncheons and dinners and parties, and expect him to be charming and funny and pleasant; they would persuade him to wear bathing clothes, to get a suntan. Severus sighed and walked back upstairs and out the front door.
The glaring sun shone impudently at Severus Snape. It was a gorgeous day outside, but he felt nothing about it. He walked down the beach, lost in though. This last year at Hogwarts had been particularly dreary. His house, Slytherin, had lost the Quidditch Cup to Gryffindor, all because of that James Potter. James, with his skill and speed and cheering friends. Severus could still see Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew going wild with joy as Gryffindor won the match. He could see them hugging James, laughing with him…The truth was, although he would never admit it to himself, that Severus longed to have a group of friends like them. He felt so very lonely. His Slytherin buddies were nothing. He knew that they were below him; they were too stupid to be of much interest. Lost in his dismal thoughts, Severus sat down on a large boulder, staring into the lake.
Severus Snape could never have told what it was that made him look to his left at that moment. But look he did, and he saw a girl, sitting alone on a log, reading a book. She sensed him looking at her and turned to meet his eyes. Severus, however, did not look away; he simply could not. The girl smiled, stood up, and walked over to him.
She was a fair bit shorter than he was, with wispy, ashen hair that hung around her shoulders in loose curls. She was not beautiful: her happy grey eyes were rather large for her face, and she was pale, but Severus did not notice any of these things. He simply could not tear his eyes from her.
"Hello," she said, "I'm Eva."
"I'm…Severus." The two looked at each other for a split second, and then they both broke into peals of laughter, and immediately felt as though they'd known each other their whole lives.
She sat down beside him, and they talked of everything and anything. She lived in Bristol and did not go to Hogwarts because her father had been a teacher and he taught her at home. She had travelled everywhere with her parents but this was her first time on Lake Magus. She didn't know anyone, that's why she'd been sitting alone…The sun had already set when the pair decided that they'd probably best be going home.
Severus left Eva at her hotel (which was quite close to his cottage), and walked home a changed person. That afternoon was the first in many he'd laughed out of pure joy, not malice or sarcasm or mockery. He was so utterly, ridiculously happy that he gave his mother a fond kiss on the cheek as he came into the house.
The next morning, Severus gobbled up his breakfast as quickly as was possible, and ran out of the house, much to his parent's surprise and pleasure.
Eva was waiting for him on the beach. A wave of delirious bliss washed over young Snape. Severus and Eva spent the day laughing and eating ice-cream, having their pictures taken and catching up on the past sixteen years of their lives. The next three weeks of summer passed in much the same way. Severus found himself feeling loved, and he lover furiously in return.
On one particular evening, as they were lying on the beach, looking at the stars, Severus glanced at Eva and had a wild urge to kiss her. He leaned over her, his long hair falling like a curtain around her face. Their lips touched, and Eva, almost surprisedly, kissed him in return. Her hands wandered to his face and her fingers lingered through his hair. When they broke apart, he placed his head on her chest, her heart beating against his face, and he felt perfectly content.
Severus went down to the beach one morning near the end of the summer to meet Eva. She was nowhere to be found. He waited around for a bit, convincing himself that he was earlier than usual, and that she would come in shortly. She did not.
Confused, Severus walked to Eva's hotel, climbed the stairs to her room, and knocked on the door. An older man opened it. He was Eva's father and, from his expression, Severus could tell that all was not well.
"Who is it, daddy?" Eva's voice asked from within the chamber.
"It's your friend, dear," said the old man, his voice faltering.
"Severus? Oh, please tell him to come in!" Perplexed, Severus followed the man into Eva's room.
Eva lay on a bed bathed in sunshine. She was like a shadow of her self. The blue circles under her eyes made them even larger, unnaturally, hauntingly dark against her horribly pale, thin skin. She smiled a weak smile at Severus, on whose face was mingled a look of pure panic and shock. He kneeled on the floor beside her bed.
"Daddy could you please- -"
"Of course dear." And the old man stepped out of the room.
For a minute or two, they sat in silence. Severus, stunned, could not bear to look at her face, the face that had once radiated delight and spirit, now wasted, defeated. At last, he said,
"What's happened to you?" With a sad smile Eva replied,
"I guess I forgot to tell you that- -that I'm dying…"
"Dying? Wha-? How long have you known? Isn't there anything they can do? Can I do something? Eva…" His voice trailed off in agony.
"Severus," Eva said gently, "I've been dying my whole life. And, always, everyone I've ever loved has left me because of it." She saw a look of anguish come over his face. "There's nothing anyone can do about it. We've tried everything…That's why we've been travelling all these years…That's why I don't go to school…"
Snape's one happiness in life was slipping from him. There was nothing he could do about it. He'd finally found someone who made him feel like he belonged, made him feel loved…
"But there must be some place where you—where they can—"
"Even if they can, I don't want to. I've been dragged to enough specialists, Muggles and wizards. I just want to rest from them all. I can't do it anymore. I know I can't win…"
"But you—you're so—so full of life, you—"
"I love life, Severus, but I just can't take it anymore. I feel myself fading with every breath I take. I want to die, if only to make it all stop."
"But Eva I—I love you…" Snape said in a defeated tone, fighting against his tears. Eva laughed.
"Oh Severus, I know you do! Oh and I love you so very much too. You've given me the best time of my life…I'm glad I've had it. I wish—I wish I could be with you always…Please don't forget me."
"Forget you!" Severus cried, "As if I could ever forget you! Nothing, not magic, mortal, or god could ever make me forget you. Eva!" He embraced her, buried his head in her neck, and sobbed. His thin shoulders shook, and she held him as if she could never let him go.
Eva died three days later. Her poor parents were shattered, inconsolable. Snape could not shed a single tear. It seemed that he'd cried himself dry in Eva's arms. All that remained was a gloomy, gnawing loneliness in the pit of his stomach.
He returned to Hogwarts in September, the same as always. He looked just as pale, tall, and thin as he always had. The same, unchanging Severus Snape, with only criticism and nastiness to offer to anyone who asked for it. Who could have dreamed that mean old Severus Snape had ever been loved?
04/02/02.
1 The Life-Giver
Severus Snape stepped out of the fireplace of his family's summer home. He was tall, lanky young man, about sixteen years of age, with midnight-black, shoulder-length hair, pale skin, penetrating, dark eyes, and a rather long hooked nose. He had gotten here by Floo powder, and he still held his suitcase by his side in a thin, long, almost graceful hand.
There was a sound behind him, and his mother, brushing soot off her sleeves emerged from the fireplace.
"Oh dear, this place is a mess," she said, looking around the room. There was an inch of dust covering everything in the house. Another sound, and Severus' father came out of the fireplace.
"Now, Severus dear," Mrs. Snape said, "leave your things in your room and go outside for a while until your father and I clean up the house." And with those words, she pulled her wand out of her robes and conjured a duster.
Severus walked down the familiar stairs to his basement room. He opened the door and paused to gaze around. Everything looked the same as it always had, every single dull summer of his life in this place.
The Snape cottage was located on the west coast of Lake Magus, the largest non-Muggle tourist destination in all of Britain. Severus had spent every summer in his memory here, and things were always the same. His parents would urge him to play with people he didn't like, people who didn't like him; they would drag him to luncheons and dinners and parties, and expect him to be charming and funny and pleasant; they would persuade him to wear bathing clothes, to get a suntan. Severus sighed and walked back upstairs and out the front door.
The glaring sun shone impudently at Severus Snape. It was a gorgeous day outside, but he felt nothing about it. He walked down the beach, lost in though. This last year at Hogwarts had been particularly dreary. His house, Slytherin, had lost the Quidditch Cup to Gryffindor, all because of that James Potter. James, with his skill and speed and cheering friends. Severus could still see Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew going wild with joy as Gryffindor won the match. He could see them hugging James, laughing with him…The truth was, although he would never admit it to himself, that Severus longed to have a group of friends like them. He felt so very lonely. His Slytherin buddies were nothing. He knew that they were below him; they were too stupid to be of much interest. Lost in his dismal thoughts, Severus sat down on a large boulder, staring into the lake.
Severus Snape could never have told what it was that made him look to his left at that moment. But look he did, and he saw a girl, sitting alone on a log, reading a book. She sensed him looking at her and turned to meet his eyes. Severus, however, did not look away; he simply could not. The girl smiled, stood up, and walked over to him.
She was a fair bit shorter than he was, with wispy, ashen hair that hung around her shoulders in loose curls. She was not beautiful: her happy grey eyes were rather large for her face, and she was pale, but Severus did not notice any of these things. He simply could not tear his eyes from her.
"Hello," she said, "I'm Eva."
"I'm…Severus." The two looked at each other for a split second, and then they both broke into peals of laughter, and immediately felt as though they'd known each other their whole lives.
She sat down beside him, and they talked of everything and anything. She lived in Bristol and did not go to Hogwarts because her father had been a teacher and he taught her at home. She had travelled everywhere with her parents but this was her first time on Lake Magus. She didn't know anyone, that's why she'd been sitting alone…The sun had already set when the pair decided that they'd probably best be going home.
Severus left Eva at her hotel (which was quite close to his cottage), and walked home a changed person. That afternoon was the first in many he'd laughed out of pure joy, not malice or sarcasm or mockery. He was so utterly, ridiculously happy that he gave his mother a fond kiss on the cheek as he came into the house.
The next morning, Severus gobbled up his breakfast as quickly as was possible, and ran out of the house, much to his parent's surprise and pleasure.
Eva was waiting for him on the beach. A wave of delirious bliss washed over young Snape. Severus and Eva spent the day laughing and eating ice-cream, having their pictures taken and catching up on the past sixteen years of their lives. The next three weeks of summer passed in much the same way. Severus found himself feeling loved, and he lover furiously in return.
On one particular evening, as they were lying on the beach, looking at the stars, Severus glanced at Eva and had a wild urge to kiss her. He leaned over her, his long hair falling like a curtain around her face. Their lips touched, and Eva, almost surprisedly, kissed him in return. Her hands wandered to his face and her fingers lingered through his hair. When they broke apart, he placed his head on her chest, her heart beating against his face, and he felt perfectly content.
Severus went down to the beach one morning near the end of the summer to meet Eva. She was nowhere to be found. He waited around for a bit, convincing himself that he was earlier than usual, and that she would come in shortly. She did not.
Confused, Severus walked to Eva's hotel, climbed the stairs to her room, and knocked on the door. An older man opened it. He was Eva's father and, from his expression, Severus could tell that all was not well.
"Who is it, daddy?" Eva's voice asked from within the chamber.
"It's your friend, dear," said the old man, his voice faltering.
"Severus? Oh, please tell him to come in!" Perplexed, Severus followed the man into Eva's room.
Eva lay on a bed bathed in sunshine. She was like a shadow of her self. The blue circles under her eyes made them even larger, unnaturally, hauntingly dark against her horribly pale, thin skin. She smiled a weak smile at Severus, on whose face was mingled a look of pure panic and shock. He kneeled on the floor beside her bed.
"Daddy could you please- -"
"Of course dear." And the old man stepped out of the room.
For a minute or two, they sat in silence. Severus, stunned, could not bear to look at her face, the face that had once radiated delight and spirit, now wasted, defeated. At last, he said,
"What's happened to you?" With a sad smile Eva replied,
"I guess I forgot to tell you that- -that I'm dying…"
"Dying? Wha-? How long have you known? Isn't there anything they can do? Can I do something? Eva…" His voice trailed off in agony.
"Severus," Eva said gently, "I've been dying my whole life. And, always, everyone I've ever loved has left me because of it." She saw a look of anguish come over his face. "There's nothing anyone can do about it. We've tried everything…That's why we've been travelling all these years…That's why I don't go to school…"
Snape's one happiness in life was slipping from him. There was nothing he could do about it. He'd finally found someone who made him feel like he belonged, made him feel loved…
"But there must be some place where you—where they can—"
"Even if they can, I don't want to. I've been dragged to enough specialists, Muggles and wizards. I just want to rest from them all. I can't do it anymore. I know I can't win…"
"But you—you're so—so full of life, you—"
"I love life, Severus, but I just can't take it anymore. I feel myself fading with every breath I take. I want to die, if only to make it all stop."
"But Eva I—I love you…" Snape said in a defeated tone, fighting against his tears. Eva laughed.
"Oh Severus, I know you do! Oh and I love you so very much too. You've given me the best time of my life…I'm glad I've had it. I wish—I wish I could be with you always…Please don't forget me."
"Forget you!" Severus cried, "As if I could ever forget you! Nothing, not magic, mortal, or god could ever make me forget you. Eva!" He embraced her, buried his head in her neck, and sobbed. His thin shoulders shook, and she held him as if she could never let him go.
Eva died three days later. Her poor parents were shattered, inconsolable. Snape could not shed a single tear. It seemed that he'd cried himself dry in Eva's arms. All that remained was a gloomy, gnawing loneliness in the pit of his stomach.
He returned to Hogwarts in September, the same as always. He looked just as pale, tall, and thin as he always had. The same, unchanging Severus Snape, with only criticism and nastiness to offer to anyone who asked for it. Who could have dreamed that mean old Severus Snape had ever been loved?