Borders
Finland nervously looked around the small, uninhabited island that he stood on. The island was entirely deserted of human life except for the people who manned the lone lighthouse on the island, which could be seen from miles around.
"Hej," a deep voice suddenly said from behind him.
Finland jumped in surprise, letting out a small yelp. He turned around, and found a tall, menacing man with a scowl on his face. Trying to suppress his fear—he had lived with this man for quite some time; he should've been used to the glares—Finland greeted him, "Moi, Sweden."
"Nice view here," the other country said, looking around calmly. "B't you didn't call me here t' watch the sunset together, did y'?"
"Haha, no," Finland said, chuckling nervously. "It's actually something of a different nature. Um… you remember that time when you gave me over to Russia?"
"Mm," Sweden said, expression not changing.
"Uh… well, a lot of ships passed through this area, and there's not much around as far as landmarks go, so Russia and I built a lighthouse on this island nearly a century ago in 1885 to guide sailors."
"Mm."
Floundering under the unflinching gaze of the other nation, Finland continued, "Well, the lighthouse is still standing over there, but… well, our border passes right through this island." Finland took out a map from his pocket. "See? The border runs straight down the middle of the island, but the lighthouse is over here, on the Swedish side. The Finnish lighthouse has been operating on Swedish soil for nearly a century."
"…I see."
The quiet words were frankly more unnerving than any outwardly angry response would have been. "…S- so what is your opinion on this, Mr. Sweden?"
"Mm…" Sweden said. "Not sure." He paused a moment, Finland shaking nervously as he thought. "Well, why don't you take the island?"
"I'm sorry!" Finland burst out. When Sweden have him an odd look, Finland mentally backtracked. "Oh, you… you meant you would just let me have this land?"
"Mm," Sweden said. "The island's small; if you want it, it's not too much to give to you."
"And I don't give anything back to you?" Finland said. "That wouldn't be fair to you!"
" 'Ts fine. 'Sides, I like you."
"No, no, really! If you give me the island, I'll also have to give you land in return." Finland pointed again at his map. "Here, look. It's just the lighthouse that's kind of awkward. If we just kind of… loop the border around the lighthouse so that it remains on the Finnish side…" He took out a pencil and sketched out the notch in the border. "But then I'll have to give you back some land, too—why don't we just take part of this island and put it back on the Swedish side?"
"If that's what you want," Sweden said. "As I said, 'm fine with whatever you choose."
Finland paused and looked over at the other nation. "You know, Mr. Sweden, I always forget how nice you are inside. You're no longer a Viking, though you still look super intimidating."
"I know," Sweden said. "B't as I said, I like you. A little uninhabited island's not worth fighting with a friend over."
Finland looked up and down the tall nation before breaking into a big smile and throwing his arms around him. "Mr. Sweden, you're the best neighbor a country could ask for! Thanks for making this border discussion so painless for me! I hear other countries have horrible border disputes and they wage wars over them and I was so scared I was going to have to fight you and you know I can't even hope to match up to your strength and besides I don't want to go to war with a friend and…"
"R'lax, Finland." Sweden's expression just barely softened as he returned the hug. " 'Re's no war. Everything's fine b'tween us—and I hope it'll always be."
Märket Island is on the Swedish-Finnish border, and has the strange border as described in this fic for the reasons listed. It was established as the boundary in 1805 (when Finland taken as part of Russia). The Finnish lighthouse was built in 1885, but either no one cared or no one noticed that it was on the Swedish side until 1981. Presumably, the negotiations weren't actually as carefree as described here, but as far as I can tell they were indeed quite friendly, since there's no animosity between the two countries.
Published January 31, 2016