The Moment I Knew
Author's Note: Hey guys, here's a songfic I wrote, I heard "The Moment I Knew", and I just wrote this from it. So yeah, I hope you like it.
Well it's here again, my birthday. 21 today, whoop-whoop. Note my sarcasm. I wouldn't have even remembered my birthday was today unless my brother rang me this morning with that "Happy Birthday Call" as he has always called it.
I know Trish and Dez are throwing me a "surprise party" because they throw one every year in the same place, and the same time - that and Dez let it slip to me over the phone last night.
I really didn't care who was there, as long as he, and Trish, and Dez were there. He and I hadn't spoken since we broke up two months ago, but I still love him, and he's the person I want there most, we had been best friends for two years before we tried dating, and then we dated for four years. So, in other words he has been my best friend for six years, and was my boyfriend for four, so I need him there.
A few hours later, I had just arrived to the "surprise party" I had been blindfolded by Trish, and was dressed in my party dress, it was a little red flow-y dress that was cut off just above my knees. It matched my red lipstick, dark orange eye-shadow and my red-strap high heels I was wearing, along with the necklace he bought me for my seventeenth birthday.
When my blindfold was taken off, I saw the walls decorated with "SURPRISE" and "HAPPY BIRTHDAY" signs. There was a table full of wrapped presents, but my eyes were on the door. He wasn't here.
You should've been there
Should've burst through the door
With that 'baby I'm right here' smile,
He might not be here yet, but he should be, we should be laughing together right now. He should've burst through the door like he did at my Sweet Sixteen party, or he should've come with me, like he had done for the last four years. He should've been the one to lead me in that blindfold, like he had done for the past four years.
He could've burst through the door, and ran to me with that "I'm Here" smile on his face, then he could've of hugged me with that "Happy Birthday Baby" whisper, like he murmurs in my ear at every birthday party I've ever had since I was seventeen.
And it would've felt like
A million little shining stars had just aligned
And I would've been so happy,
But if he had burst through the door; smiled that smile; whispered that whisper, and we were laughing together right now, I wouldn't be feeling so sad right now.
I'd feel like everyone did when he performed on Time Square on New Year's in New York, like everything was set right. Like a million stars had just aligned before me. I would be so, so happy.
Christmas lights glisten
I've got my eye on the door
Just waiting for you to walk in,
Looking out the window - I see the sparkling Christmas lights, my birthday was near Christmas and I'm still staring and gazing at the opened doors. Still awaiting your arrival. I didn't see who was here, I'm just stood by an empty table on the side of the hall - just looking at the door like an idiot.
But the time is ticking
People ask me how I've been,
Now I know who's here, because loads of the people here keep coming up to me and wishing me a "Happy Birthday" and asking me how I've been for the last few months.
How do I answer that?
'Yeah, I've been awesome, me and my boyfriend broke up - I've been in a pit of misery that I call my apartment. He hasn't spoken to me in two months, so yeah. I'm just a ball of pure happiness!' That's an amazing answer!
As I comb back through my memory
How you said you'd be here
You said you'd be here,
Two Months Earlier...
"Are you breaking up with me?"
"My God," I breathed. "I am. I guess so." I murmured, only realizing to myself what position I was putting herself into.
"Okay then. That's what you want?"
"We have to."
"Am I still your best friend? Your Austin? Or am I stranger now?"
"You're my best friend. You always will be my Austin, and that's because I love you, but this has to end."
"I love you too, I'm sorry - for what it's worth. If I'm still your best friend, I'll be at your birthday. You mean everything to me, I'll call you later."
End Of Flashback
That call never existed.
And it was like slow motion
Standing there in my party dress
In red lipstick
With no one to impress,
I look around the room, noticing everyone, from my aunts, to my uncles, my nan and my two grandads. My mom and dad, my friends. Trish and Dez. Everyone was here, apart from him.
I search the room for him once more, I search for him, and I find no-one who even looks like him. I have no-one to impress on my twenty-first birthday.
And they're all laughing
As I'm looking around the room
But there's one thing missing
And that was the moment I knew,
Everyone's having a great time, the DJ's playing mine and his song, "Chasing Cars" by Snow Patrol. Me and him used to lay on the grass, any grass we cold find, and he'd sing that to me as we lied there. When I was upset - he would sing that to me, when I couldn't sleep, I would call him - and he would sing that to me.
It was even played at our senior prom, and we danced, and were crowned King and Queen.
Everyone was laughing, apart from Trish and Dez, who were looking at me as if I were some diseased puppy. Sympathy looks.
That was the moment I knew. I told them that I didn't love him any more, that I moved on, and I believed myself. But now was the moment I know that I was lying. It was the moment I knew I still loved him more than life itself.
And the hours pass by
Now I just wanna be alone
But your close friends always seem to know
When there's something really wrong,
Hours pass by, and soon it's 11:30PM and he still hasn't shown. That meant he wasn't coming, I knew there was no point in staring at the door now.
I just wanted to be by myself now, I knew this place really well now, so I exit the hall and ran down the hallway to the cleaner's room. It wasn't very big, it was filled with mops, and detergents, and cleaning supplies. I slid my back down the wall to the ground, hugging my knees.
So they follow me down the hall
And there in the bathroom
I try not to fall apart,
Trish and Dez open the door, and they grab a box each and sit on them, after putting them on the ground upside down. They knew when I was upset, or down, or whenever I was feeling dark, and they were always beside me after that break-up. Well, they were if I let them.
I try to stay strong in front of them, because no-one wanted me to look like a clown tonight.
And the sinking feeling starts,
As I say hopelessly,
"He said he'd be here."
But as the feeling begins to eat me alive, I let my guard down, and let the tears fall down my face. As I look up at them, and they take my hands.
"He said he'd be here." I say, hopelessly.
And it was like slow motion
Standing there in my party dress
In red lipstick
With no one to impress,
"I know, but he hasn't shown. And no guy is worth your tears. So, we're gonna fix you up, and get you back in there. And you're gonna have a great birthday." Trish tells me, wiping away my tears with a rag she found somewhere.
So, they fix me and lead me back into the hall.
And they're all laughing
And asking me about you
But there's one thing missing
And that was the moment I knew,
They were all laughing, but when they saw me, they saw that I had been crying. My family surrounded me, as my friends continued to dance along to the music, with Trish and Dez were stood beside me.
What do you say
When tears are streaming down your face
In front of everyone you know?
They were all murmuring the same question, "What's Wrong, Sweetie?" and what do you say to that? When tears a rolling down your cheeks.
And what do you do when the one
Who means the most to you
Is the one who didn't show?
'Oh, I was crying in the cleaner's closet with Trish and Dez because the guy I wanted here most, was the one who didn't show.'
You should've been here.
And I would've been so happy.
I gaze at the door one last time, as my family move away from me, and see the midnight moon - which just reminds me of him more - and imagine what I night I would've had if he did show.
And it was like slow motion
Standing there in my party dress
In red lipstick
With no one to impress,
I would've had an amazing night, and I would have been so happy. Because I would've had someone to impress tonight.
And they're all standing around me singing
"Happy birthday to you"
But there's one thing missing
And that was the moment I knew,
Midnight comes by, and then the band begins to play "Happy Birthday" on the acoustic guitar. The tiger-striped guitar he played before he told me he was afraid of umbrellas, the one he played to me as he sang "Can't Make It Without You" that time he thought I was leaving for MUNY. That was his guitar, and he was supposed to be playing it right now.
As they sang the Happy Birthday Song, I couldn't hear his voice sing, and I couldn't see his mop of blonde hair in the room.
That was the moment I knew I loved him more than I had ever loved anything.
Ooh, I knew,
Soon enough, everyone left, and Trish and Dez drove home, so it was just the me, and the cleaners. They told me that Dez took home the presents, and that he left them in my garage. So I left.
The night was cold, and frosty, and it was about a ten minute walk to my house. But then I heard his voice sing. My phone was ringing.
"Hello?" I muffled into the speaker.
You call me later
And say, "I'm sorry, I didn't make it"
And I say, "I'm sorry too,"
"Hey." I heard a voice reply.
"Oh, um. Hi." I say, not sure of what to say to Austin Moon.
"I'm sorry I didn't make it." He apologizes, I heard the voice louder now, and closer.
"I'm sorry too." I repeat.
"You don't need to be. I was the one that didn't show. It's been killing me all night."
I saw the back of a jacket, and ripped jeans, he was on the phone with a string-hat on.
(A/N: I don't know what the hats are called, but the ones that Ross Lynch wears, that have the plait-material that go down the his collar-bone. The ones that only shows part of the top of his hair and show on his forehead.)
"Turn around." I tell him, wanting to know if that was him down the street.
He turned and I saw his hazel eyes, twinkling in the moonlight. I saw him blonde hair sticking out under his hand on his forehead. I saw his perfect self, looking at me as he saw me.
He hung up the phone and walked to me, well ran, and he hugged me tightly.
"I've missed you so much." He says into my hair.
"I've missed you too." I say into his chest.
I untangled myself, and then he takes off his black jacket and put it around me, as we walked down the street.
And that was the moment I knew.
I know, suckish ending, but I hate sad endings and that was the only happy-ish ending I could think of.
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