*********
My Sempai
*********
by Mamolove (david_duchovny@hotmail.com)
Streaks of grey filled my peripheral vision as I
zoomed past countless of students in the canteen. I nearly
floored a junior in my whirlwind attack.
"Sorry! Gottoseetheseniors'finalexamresults!!" I
had said. Or shrieked. In one breath. My mother would have
been proud.
Before long I had reached the results board of
the school. It was placed in a grand, open area in front of
the school's main complex. The "area" was a distance away
from the main entrance, but basically anyone who came to
school would be led to this place. Yeah, you must be
wondering how big my school was. It's big. So big that it
would take at least five minutes to reach this area if you
were to walk from the main entrance and up the wide steps
leading to this place. Pretty nice area I would say. There
was a grand fountain here, and the view from here would
impress any first-time visitor, as it overlooked the
rest of Moto Azabu Private High School. That's the name of
my school, if you were wondering.
Already there was a huge crowd at the board, and
I tried squeezing through the other students to gain a
better view. Standing on my toes and craning my neck helped
too.
One of the teachers, Ritsuko-sensei, was still
in the process of putting up the results. In my school, we
had this tradition where the teacher would put up the cards
- vertical, rectangular cards - bearing the names of the
students, their total marks, and their rankings on the
results board. Only those ranked from 1st to 100th place
would be able to see their names here. Depending on your
expectations, you would either feel glorified or humiliated
with such a public display of your marks and ranking.
Ritsuko-sensei had already put up the names of
students ranked sixth to hundred.
That left the top five rankings.
Everyone murmured in anticipation, and some even
began pointing out how close the marks of the students
ranked sixth, seventh and eighth were. They were Junpei-sempai,
with a total of 762 marks; Okiwara-sempai with 761 marks; and
Takeshi-sempai with a total of 759 marks.
Before I go on, allow me to establish the fact
that such marks, based on a total of 900 marks, were of
cosmic proportions. How the seniors managed to score that
high in such a terribly challenging exam (you were talking
about Moto Azabu here!) left us juniors in awe. All of us
took nine subjects, and Junpei-sempai's marks meant that he
scored an average of about 85% for every subject. That was
freaky. But possible, obviously.
My neck stretched infinitesimally as Ritsuko-
sensei bended down to take the next namecard. The student
ranked fifth.
"I wonder who it's going to be," my friend Akira
said. He continued, "Perhaps Soujirou-sempai, or Jinta-sempai,
or...." he shot me a sly look, "Chiba-sempai," he drawled,
sinister to the limit.
"It won't be Chiba-sempai at fifth place!" I hissed
at Akira. My close friend looked at me with a crooked smile
and cocked an eyebrow.
"That's quite a strong statement, Nostradamus,"
Akira remarked.
Immediately my face flushed red.
"Chiba-sempai's too smart for fifth place....." I
paused. Chiba-sama actually. That's what I secretly called him,
but I didn't want to sound like a rabid fanboy so I was careful
to always use -sempai rather than -sama. My friends would
probably laugh their heads off if they found out that I had
given my sempai a status meant for gods and kings!
"Hey, hey, stop looking at me like that!" I
glared away.
"Uh-huh." Akira was not impressed.
"Stop teasing me. You admire him as much as I do
anyway, baka!" I shot him a warning look. Akira shook his
head.
"Not as much as you do, Asanuma-kun."
My face must be as red as a tomato by now. But
suddenly my eyes were torn away from Akira when Ritsuko-
sensei finally put up the card. Both Akira's and my eyes
widened in disbelief as we saw the name on the results
board.
No, it couldn't be.... It was simply not
possible!
|-------------------------|
| |
| 5 : Chiba Mamoru - 765. |
| |
|-------------------------|
Immediately there was a stirring in the crowd as
nearly everyone gasped and pointed excitedly at the results.
The noise level rose a few decibels. How could this have
happened?? Chiba Mamoru, at 5th place??! 3rd would have been
acceptable, but fifth?! I felt a rush of horror and
confusion simultaneously imploding within me. I just
couldn't believe it! I looked back at the results to double-
check. It was true. Chiba-sama was actually at 5th place. How
was that possible?
This was Chiba Mamoru we were talking about--
the only student in Moto Azabu history who emerged as the
highest scorer in the national junior academic olympiad
three years ago! School exams like these were peanuts
compared to such olympiads! Why, the lowest rank Chiba-sama
had ever gotten since his entry into Moto Azabu was... I
gasped. First place!
My eyes narrowed as I saw several students near
the board, probably the seniors, actually pumping their
fists into the air triumphantly. Some guys went to pat
Touya-sempai's shoulders. My eyes travelled along the board,
and as I had expected, Touya-sempai's name was not on it yet.
To actually have Chiba-sama eliminated from the rungs of the
"Great 3" must have been heavenly news for Touya-sempai. My
eyes flitted to the revered Touya-sempai. He was quite smart
too you know, but I didn't think he was smarter than
Chiba-sama. Competitor or not, even Touya-sempai sported a look
of utter disbelief. A few other juniors snickered, and some
smiled smugly.
I knew some students hated Chiba-sama. For one,
if you were competing with him, you would probably be
cursing to the air each time he aced the exams or a sports
event. Every year. I wouldn't be surprised if you were
jealous of him. A lot of students were. His aloofness merely
fanned the fire. Secondly, he seemed to be perfect. Too
perfect. Captain of the football team, star athlete, super
intelligent, highly conscientious, popular and charming,
and.... inwardly I flushed at the thought... Very good-
looking. What else could a guy have asked for? Some envied
him for that.
Thirdly, Chiba-sama had a sharp tongue. Those
students had probably gotten a taste of Chiba-sama's sarcasm
and stinging remarks before. Kimura-kun personally
experienced it. Aggressive, rude and domineering brat - he
was about to obliterate my friend's jaw when Chiba-sama
intervened suddenly by coolly holding off Kimura-kun's
advancing fist. Kimura-kun's flaring insults and brute
strength hardly moved Chiba-sama. That lucky friend of mine
said that all it took was an icy reply and a cold look from
Chiba-san, and it was all over. Kimura-kun's rage flared,
but he didn't dare challenge Chiba-sama. The bully walked
away that day, but I had a feeling the blow Chiba-sama dealt
to him that day still stinged.
By the way, did you know that Chiba-sama had a
reputation in Moto Azabu? I mean, other than being shy of a
genius and a perfect all-rounder? You see, he had this
reputation of being charismatic, but aloof and distant at
times. For all his charm, he always maintained a distance--
never too intimate, never too revealing. He was just so
mysterious. In general, even though he was known by every
student in Moto Azabu, nobody knew much about Chiba-sama. I
tried asking around, yet nobody knew where he lived, who his
parents were, or what he did after school! He did not belong
to any cliques-- a lone figure, independent and self-
confident. He was just Chiba Mamoru, the revered sempai.
You either hated him, or admired him. By now you
must know which camp I was in. It was the same camp as the
majority of Moto Azabu's population. Yeah, despite some of
his detractors, many other students like myself regard him
with respect. He was a student of principles. He was
self-assured, and did not change his character just to
please the crowd. I felt that that alone took guts. To
be yourself and not be bothered by what the world might
think of you. Just look at everyone... The reaction was
strong, to say the least.
Ritsuko-sensei had already proceeded to put up
the results of the top 4 students, but I was no longer
interested. I just kept gaping at Chiba-sama's name on the
board.
Why did I suddenly have a burning urge to see
Chiba-sama's reaction, especially how those blue eyes of his
would coolly look away while everyone gaped at his results?
Why was I feeling so troubled? It was not as if those marks
were shameful. To the contrary, they were amazing, by my
standards.
//But it's _low_ by Chiba-sama's.// I thought to
myself.
"Asanuma-kun...." Akira softly consoled.
"Chiba-sempai's not even here, Akira-kun," I said,
disappointment heavy in my voice. "I'm leaving."
Before Akira could reply, I ran away from the
crowd.
************************************************************
I was upset. I knew it. I was sad and shocked
that Chiba-sama dropped in rankings. I ran away from the
crowd because I didn't want to hear the ensuing gossip and
criticism that would definitely rage on the very moment the
whole crowd at the results board knew of Chiba-sama's
results.
I kept on running in a frenzied pace, not
bothering that lessons would resume soon. In a little corner
of my heart, I was hoping that I could miraculously bump
into Chiba-sama in my wild chase....
//Gomen nasai Chiba-sempai! I'm so sorry!// I
imagined myself colliding into him so hard it knocked him to
the ground. //I'm really sorry, Chiba-sempai. Let me help you!//
I imagined bowing profusely and helping him up.
//I'm okay. Really. Thanks.// My imaginary
Chiba-sama stood up by himself, politely declining my offered
hand with a smile.
//What's the big rush, er....//
//Asanuma Itto!//
//Nice to meet you, Asanuma. So, why the Mach 6
speed?//
Baka. Me and my wild imagination. You must be
wondering why I was so interested in Chiba-sama, ne?
Wondering why I was thinking so much about him right?
Firstly, do not, I repeat, DO NOT, get me wrong.
I am not gay, if you were thinking about that.
Neither is 90% of the student population in
Moto Azabu.
Moto Azabu was an all-boys school. And often we
looked up to other remarkable students as role-models.
Usually the role-models were the seniors, like Chiba-sama.
But Chiba-sama was just head and shoulders above any other
senior. Well, at least to me. He was remote. Distant. I
had hardly met him in school for months on ends, so he was
sort of like a celebrity to me. My friends and I got excited
each time we were able to spot Chiba-sama and observe him,
even if it were for a few miserable minutes. It started from
the moment I realised that the first person who welcomed me
to this school happened to be the best student in Moto Azabu
history.
So, imagine the bewilderment and excitement I
felt when I spotted Chiba-sama walking alone to the west
complex. We were both in a large area (I told you, Moto
Azabu was big!), surrounded by the lush greenery of palm
trees and soft, green grass. I ran after him. My pace slowed
down a little as I closed the gap between us to about ten
feet. My heart was hammering against my chest-- it was not
just due to the exhaustion of running, but also to the
excitement that I was so lucky to have spotted Chiba-sama.
And trail him from behind.
But now that I was so near him, without anybody
around to interfere, I was clueless as to what I should be doing!
Help me! Should I just follow him from behind? That would be
freaky - I'd be known as the "Chiba Mamoru Stalker".
I didn't want _that_ reputation.
But what else could I do? Call him from behind
and try to start a conversation?
"Ohaiyo Chiba-sempai! How are you? How's the
weather? How does it feel to get 5th place?"
Baka!
While I was mentally overtaxing my little brain,
my eyes paid attention to Chiba-sama's back. He was holding
his suitcase over his left shoulder - casual but cool nevertheless.
His leather shoes made no sound at all as he walked, and his
slow, long strides gave him the grace of a panther on
the prowl. He was taller than I thought, and his shoulders
looked really broad. My imagination got the better of me as
I envisioned Chiba-sama as the lean graceful panther,
majestically claiming its superiority over all other jungle
animals.... One mighty feline roar, and the jungle shook in
fear.
It was strange though, that the panther suddenly
stopped its tracks, and slowly turned around. By the time I
realised what was actually happening, it was too late.
I froze mid-step. Time stopped. Dear God, nothing
could possibly be worse than this!
I found myself staring into the piercing blue
eyes.... Of my sempai, Chiba Mamoru.
************************************************************
For all the conversations I imagined myself
having with Chiba-sama, none came to my mind when I needed
them most. I immediately discarded any form of greeting as I
forced myself to face the almost predatory gaze of my
sempai. Yes, everyone had said it before, and now that I was
face-to-face with him, I was about to agree with them - with
such eyes, Chiba Mamoru could electrocute a person to death.
I couldn't help admitting it. Without his spectacles, Chiba-
sama's eyes seemed to burn a hole right through me. But as
much as I could feel the intensity of his stare, I could not
make out the expression on Chiba-sama's otherwise calm face.
He didn't seem startled by my intrusion. Nor did he look
like he felt threatened or annoyed by my presence. Or was
Chiba-sama just that good at masking his feelings?
There was really a long period of silence
between the both of us, and I was so afraid that Chiba-sama
could actually hear the insanely loud thumping of my heart
that I began to feel light-headed. I wasn't sure I could
withstand Chiba-sama intense gaze any longer.
"Hello," Chiba-sama finally broke the silence,
personal charm streaming into his velvet voice.
I nearly jumped in startlement, too shocked to
hear Chiba-sama's deep voice.
"I... er...," I stammered, as I frantically
searched for a convincing excuse. Finally, I gave up. It was
useless. I could not pretend any longer, not with Chiba-
sama's smouldering gaze. My hands were trembling - it was as
though, even from that distance, Chiba-sama was exuding some
kind of potent force, invisible to the eye, but apparent to
my other senses.
"...I'm... I'm very sorry for disturbing you,
Chiba-sempai," I finally sighed in defeat.
Baka.
"You weren't disturbing me," Chiba-sama smoothly
said. He eyed me from afar, and tilted his head. "Can I help
you?"
//He doesn't remember you, Asanuma// I thought to
myself disappointingly.
My sempai began sauntering slowly towards me. My
heartbeat seemed to escalate to an unbearable rhythm as he
approached me. Even the hairs on the back of my neck were
rising rapidly at his increasing proximity.
I wondered how I could start conversing casually
with Chiba-sama, but I was not good at lying. I was still as
troubled and concerned for him now as I was when I knew of
his results. So I decided to be myself, not caring whether
it impressed him or not.
"I.... I saw your exam results at the results
board, Chiba-sempai," I meekly said. I surprised myself that I
had the courage to even look up at Chiba-sama as he came to a
halt to stand right in front of me.
He nodded, but he didn't offer a reply. How
could he be so calm?
"I couldn't stand watching everyone else
speculate on why you suddenly dropped to fifth place,
Chiba-sempai."
Chiba-sama smiled sardonically at the mention of
his ranking. I supposed he knew that he would, yet again,
become the target of buzzing school gossip.
"Aren't you going to congratulate me?" Chiba-sama
calmly asked me. His eyes were flashing brilliantly with
amusement. I was momentarily thrown aback at his unexpected
volley. Was he toying with me?
I stared back and blinked my eyes. My mouth felt
cotton-dry, but slowly, I began to speak. However, never in
my wildest dreams did I imagine myself saying the words that
left my lips.
"I don't think it's.... Appropriate for me to
congratulate you, Chiba-sempai," I glanced away for a moment,
finally breaking eye-contact.
"If it were Touya-sempai, Junpei-sempai, or even
Takeshi-sempai, I wouldn't hesitate in doing so," I paused as I
allowed my words to sink in. Then I continued, "....Because
it would be due to them reaching an all-time high. But for
you, Chiba-sempai, you're... you're different from them."
Chiba-sama was about to open his mouth to say
something, but I bowed my head and said, "Just now, I was
running because I was angry and upset at some of the
students' reaction towards your results. And when I saw you
here, I....," I brought back my eyes to meet that of the
captivating senior standing in front of me, "I... I couldn't
resist following you. Gomen nasai!" I bowed.
Silence filled the air as Chiba-sama merely stood
in front of me, just looking on. The sounds of the birds and
faraway students bustling at the corridors filled the
distance between the both of us. At that moment, it felt as
though we were on different ends of the continent.
Finally, my sempai sounded.
"That's all right. You don't have to apologise,"
the smooth voice said. Polite as always.
I looked back at my sempai. He was looking at me
with much amusement. But what were those blue eyes hiding?
What had happened to him during the few weeks he stopped
coming to school? Did I tell you that? No? I'm sorry. My
mind must have been running faster than my narration.
You see, it seemed that Chiba-sama mysteriously
stopped attending school for a few weeks about a month ago.
Nobody could find him, and the teachers were really concerned.
It was unlikely that a student like him could play truant for
such a long period of time. Much less than a month before the
exams. What happened to Chiba-sama during his disappearance?
Did it affect his performance? Nobody knew. As usual.
I had nothing to lose. So instinct drove me to
speak.
"Gomen... Chiba-sempai..."
Blue eyes regarded me.
"I know it's none of my business.... And I think
you feel that it's nobody's concern in the first place....
But," I paused and took a deep breath, "...You must have
went through a very difficult time for the past few months.
You stopped coming to school for a few weeks. Nobody here may
know about it, but whatever it was that you had to go
through," I looked into Chiba-sama's captivating eyes,
"...I am so sorry no one could help." My voice broke at the
last word. I don't know why.
Suddenly, my senses returned to me. Oh my God.
Did I.... Did I say what I had just said?! WHAT
HAD I JUST DONE?! What had I just said?! BAKAAAAAAA!!! I didn't
even realise I actually had the stupidity to say that!
I took a look at Chiba-sama. He was looking at me
with seemingly startled eyes, his sharp features in stony
silence, frozen in the afternoon rays of sunlight.
I grimaced inwardly as I realised that I was
merely embarrassing Chiba-sama and putting him in an awkward
position. Whether or not he went through a difficult time
was none of my business, and it was worse that I was showing
such concern towards him. I felt no better than the smug
people at the results board. I bit my lower lip as my eyes
started to sting with onsetting tears. I wanted to meet
Chiba-sama so badly before this. So badly... Why did I make a
fool of myself when I finally had the chance?
//Chiba-sama, please stop staring at me like that.
I know the last thing you want in your life is pity. Just
don't hold me in your sharp gaze like that....//
I stood rooted to the ground, the only solace I
could seek was the ringing silence between us. Finally I
crumbled under pressure and bowed my head even lower. I didn't know
what else to do. As silence ensued, I took a peek of Chiba-
sama through the bangs covering my eyes.
Chiba-sama looked away slowly. For a moment, his
eyes seemed to glaze over and his flawless features seemed
to grimace infinitesimally. Was it pain or fear that I saw
in those infamous blue eyes? Resentment? Shame? Or guilt? I
didn't know. Somehow I suddenly felt bad for reminding him
of whatever experience he had had to go through. The expression
on his face was just so heartbreaking. Never did I expect him to
appear so pained.
A few moments passed, and I heard him whisper to
the wind...
"Someone did help me."
The older student in front of me was still
looking far away, and the fine lips pursed in a grim line.
His expression was dark and serious, as though he was
remembering something painful, something sorrowful. At that
moment, a breeze came our way, gently blowing against
his face and through his jet black hair.
"And she came for me...."
He softly closed his long eyelashes, and his
lips curved into a soft child-like smile... For a stunning
moment, with the mid-morning sunshine encasing him, Chiba-
sama didn't look at all like a seventeen year old student...
I didn't know why, but in just that amazing
moment, Chiba-sama looked like a magical, regal creature. He
looked peaceful. He looked so contented. The pained
expression was gone by then, and in its place was a look of
a grown man who had been searching for something for a long
time....
And had finally found it.
Almost too soon, the cool breeze stopped and
Chiba-sama regarded me warmly again.
"You're very honest. Stay that way," Chiba-sama
softly said.
My eyes widened.
Chiba-sama looked at me, smiling politely. "We've
met before."
It was not a question. It was a remark. My
feelings brightened up considerably at his reaction to what
I had said.
"Late last year, you were searching for the exam
hall here." Chiba-sama reached to unruffle his wind-blown
hair casually. "Glad to meet you again, Asanuma-kun."
He remembered my name! He actually remembered
it, even though we met nearly a year ago! I was starting to
feel light-headed again with excitement.
"... err...Hai, Chiba-sempai!" I bowed, "I'm
Asanuma Itto. 1st Year student!"
"Don't be upset anymore, Asanuma-kun," Chiba-sama
said. "I'm not the least disappointed with my results.
Besides," he cocked his eyebrow, "...The national exam next year
is more important than the school finals. I'll do my best
then," he said, a confident smile snaking up his features.
"Yeah.... Good luck Chiba-sempai," I extended my
hand. It was the same gesture he gave me when we first met
last year. But now I was the one offering the handshake.
"Arigato, Asanuma-kun," he accepted it and gave
a firm shake. I trembled slightly at his touch. It really
felt as though his confidence flowed through me at that very
instance. It was something indescribable-- almost as though
he was in my head and letting a boost of good vibes surge
through me.
Baka.
My imagination must be getting the better of me.
"I'm going to the west complex now. How about
you?" Chiba-sama said.
"I'm having lessons now. I'd better get going,
Chiba-sempai," I quickly said.
"Yes, you should," he said, a small smile gracing
his lips. There was something twinkling within his eyes, but I
couldn't imagine why.
The both of us exchanged bows and I turned to leave.
I was jumping away in excitement, when Chiba-sama yelled, with
a tone sprinkled with amusement.
"Oh by the way, Asanuma-kun, it's Chiba-sempai,
not Chiba-sama!"
I gaped in shock as he chuckled to himself and
left.
I ran back to my class, my heart thumping in glee
interspersed with bewilderment (due to his parting words!).
Throughout the day I was distracted, and kept playing the whole
conversation in my head again and again. At last my mind settled
on the dark look he had when I talked about his absentism. Until
now it I fail to comprehend what Chiba-sama had said to himself
just then, but somehow I think he was feeling much better now.
Whichever girl he was referring to, she must be somebody really,
really, _really_ special.
And you know what? I'm really glad she helped
Chiba-sama. The smile on his face as he thought of her....
It was something nobody in Moto Azabu had ever seen.
************************************************************
THE END
************************************************************
27 Jan 2002 - The idea of this story bloomed when I
realised that I was doing an injustice to my readers with
the slow production of my baby, "The Golden Crystal". Don't
hold your breath for it, because it's one enormous fic which
I _will_ write to full circle. My apologies go to those whom
I have not yet reached personally to apologise for the late
production! ^_^, thank you for understanding. This short
vignette's shorter, and I think it's better to give you guys
a completed story for once *grin*.
This vignette involves a junior in Mamoru's high school,
Asanuma. This cute character first appeared in Volume 4 of
the SAILORMOON manga. You can check that volume out to read
how he first met Mamoru. It was very interesting (to me!).
The word "sempai" is a respectful term given to a role-model
or somebody you greatly admire. It can be used by either boy
or girl, such as in Asanuma's case here, and in Rei's case,
when she was infatuated with Mamoru (anime).
In Japan, there really is a tradition of the teachers
displaying results of the top 50 or top 100 students in the
school compound/hall. Many find it terribly damaging to
young students' self-esteem, but it cannot be denied that
the mere act of comparing results can really spark heated
competition that could drive the students to their best
potential. The national examination held in Japan (which
determines which universities a student can apply to) is
also regarded as the most difficult examination in Asia (I
am not sure whether it also included the world), and the
third hardest exam is the STPM, the university entrance
exam conducted in my country, Malaysia! Err... I'm not sure
whether to be proud or exasperated here *sweatdrop*.
Another aspect which I would like to clarify is about
single-gender schools. I understand that most of you are in
co-ed schools, so I'll explain here. In all-girls' or all-
boys' schools, there is a natural tendency to idolise
certain high-profile students. Sometimes you might
misunderstand that such "student-fans" are
homosexuals/lesbians, but it is just a form of hero-worship.
It may as well happen in co-ed schools, but in a more
suppressed form since it could spark off rumours of
homosexuality. But this is not the case. It has been
inherent all these years. It is _not_, I repeat, anything
sexual. It is merely a form of respect and reverence to
students who inspire you to be your best. Just
like how you may have a favourite singer/actor/anime
character (Mamoru!!), these students may have a favourite
senior/schoolmate. It is common in Asia, since there are
many single-gender schools, but I think many in the Western
countries have misunderstood such feelings as homosexuality
and blown it out of proportions. Not every student has a
"student idol"-- it's just that I would like to tell you
that such a culture exists. And it does not mean that you
are gay.
The time/period in which Asanuma here told us about Mamoru
"suddenly disappearing from school" actually refers to the
period in which Mamoru died protecting Sailormoon and was
turned into Dark Endymion by Queen Beryl. I have no evidence
substantiating the length of his absence, but I just assumed
his disappearance lasted for a month/few weeks.
And I'm not telling you the name of the girl Mamoru was
referring to. You ought to know. WITHOUT A DOUBT.
Thank you for reading this. Hope you enjoyed it!
Sincerely,
Mamolove
david_duchovny@hotmail.com
"MAMORU FANFICTION"
http://devoted.to/mamorufanfiction
"My Love: MAMORU CHIBA"
http://devoted.to/mamoruchiba
Date started: 31 December 2001
Date completed: 27 January 2002
Date edite: 7 August 2003
Sailor Moon is copyright (c) 1992 Naoko
Takeuchi/Kodansha,
TOEI Animation. English Language Adaptation (c)
1995 DIC Entertainment.
My Sempai
*********
by Mamolove (david_duchovny@hotmail.com)
Streaks of grey filled my peripheral vision as I
zoomed past countless of students in the canteen. I nearly
floored a junior in my whirlwind attack.
"Sorry! Gottoseetheseniors'finalexamresults!!" I
had said. Or shrieked. In one breath. My mother would have
been proud.
Before long I had reached the results board of
the school. It was placed in a grand, open area in front of
the school's main complex. The "area" was a distance away
from the main entrance, but basically anyone who came to
school would be led to this place. Yeah, you must be
wondering how big my school was. It's big. So big that it
would take at least five minutes to reach this area if you
were to walk from the main entrance and up the wide steps
leading to this place. Pretty nice area I would say. There
was a grand fountain here, and the view from here would
impress any first-time visitor, as it overlooked the
rest of Moto Azabu Private High School. That's the name of
my school, if you were wondering.
Already there was a huge crowd at the board, and
I tried squeezing through the other students to gain a
better view. Standing on my toes and craning my neck helped
too.
One of the teachers, Ritsuko-sensei, was still
in the process of putting up the results. In my school, we
had this tradition where the teacher would put up the cards
- vertical, rectangular cards - bearing the names of the
students, their total marks, and their rankings on the
results board. Only those ranked from 1st to 100th place
would be able to see their names here. Depending on your
expectations, you would either feel glorified or humiliated
with such a public display of your marks and ranking.
Ritsuko-sensei had already put up the names of
students ranked sixth to hundred.
That left the top five rankings.
Everyone murmured in anticipation, and some even
began pointing out how close the marks of the students
ranked sixth, seventh and eighth were. They were Junpei-sempai,
with a total of 762 marks; Okiwara-sempai with 761 marks; and
Takeshi-sempai with a total of 759 marks.
Before I go on, allow me to establish the fact
that such marks, based on a total of 900 marks, were of
cosmic proportions. How the seniors managed to score that
high in such a terribly challenging exam (you were talking
about Moto Azabu here!) left us juniors in awe. All of us
took nine subjects, and Junpei-sempai's marks meant that he
scored an average of about 85% for every subject. That was
freaky. But possible, obviously.
My neck stretched infinitesimally as Ritsuko-
sensei bended down to take the next namecard. The student
ranked fifth.
"I wonder who it's going to be," my friend Akira
said. He continued, "Perhaps Soujirou-sempai, or Jinta-sempai,
or...." he shot me a sly look, "Chiba-sempai," he drawled,
sinister to the limit.
"It won't be Chiba-sempai at fifth place!" I hissed
at Akira. My close friend looked at me with a crooked smile
and cocked an eyebrow.
"That's quite a strong statement, Nostradamus,"
Akira remarked.
Immediately my face flushed red.
"Chiba-sempai's too smart for fifth place....." I
paused. Chiba-sama actually. That's what I secretly called him,
but I didn't want to sound like a rabid fanboy so I was careful
to always use -sempai rather than -sama. My friends would
probably laugh their heads off if they found out that I had
given my sempai a status meant for gods and kings!
"Hey, hey, stop looking at me like that!" I
glared away.
"Uh-huh." Akira was not impressed.
"Stop teasing me. You admire him as much as I do
anyway, baka!" I shot him a warning look. Akira shook his
head.
"Not as much as you do, Asanuma-kun."
My face must be as red as a tomato by now. But
suddenly my eyes were torn away from Akira when Ritsuko-
sensei finally put up the card. Both Akira's and my eyes
widened in disbelief as we saw the name on the results
board.
No, it couldn't be.... It was simply not
possible!
|-------------------------|
| |
| 5 : Chiba Mamoru - 765. |
| |
|-------------------------|
Immediately there was a stirring in the crowd as
nearly everyone gasped and pointed excitedly at the results.
The noise level rose a few decibels. How could this have
happened?? Chiba Mamoru, at 5th place??! 3rd would have been
acceptable, but fifth?! I felt a rush of horror and
confusion simultaneously imploding within me. I just
couldn't believe it! I looked back at the results to double-
check. It was true. Chiba-sama was actually at 5th place. How
was that possible?
This was Chiba Mamoru we were talking about--
the only student in Moto Azabu history who emerged as the
highest scorer in the national junior academic olympiad
three years ago! School exams like these were peanuts
compared to such olympiads! Why, the lowest rank Chiba-sama
had ever gotten since his entry into Moto Azabu was... I
gasped. First place!
My eyes narrowed as I saw several students near
the board, probably the seniors, actually pumping their
fists into the air triumphantly. Some guys went to pat
Touya-sempai's shoulders. My eyes travelled along the board,
and as I had expected, Touya-sempai's name was not on it yet.
To actually have Chiba-sama eliminated from the rungs of the
"Great 3" must have been heavenly news for Touya-sempai. My
eyes flitted to the revered Touya-sempai. He was quite smart
too you know, but I didn't think he was smarter than
Chiba-sama. Competitor or not, even Touya-sempai sported a look
of utter disbelief. A few other juniors snickered, and some
smiled smugly.
I knew some students hated Chiba-sama. For one,
if you were competing with him, you would probably be
cursing to the air each time he aced the exams or a sports
event. Every year. I wouldn't be surprised if you were
jealous of him. A lot of students were. His aloofness merely
fanned the fire. Secondly, he seemed to be perfect. Too
perfect. Captain of the football team, star athlete, super
intelligent, highly conscientious, popular and charming,
and.... inwardly I flushed at the thought... Very good-
looking. What else could a guy have asked for? Some envied
him for that.
Thirdly, Chiba-sama had a sharp tongue. Those
students had probably gotten a taste of Chiba-sama's sarcasm
and stinging remarks before. Kimura-kun personally
experienced it. Aggressive, rude and domineering brat - he
was about to obliterate my friend's jaw when Chiba-sama
intervened suddenly by coolly holding off Kimura-kun's
advancing fist. Kimura-kun's flaring insults and brute
strength hardly moved Chiba-sama. That lucky friend of mine
said that all it took was an icy reply and a cold look from
Chiba-san, and it was all over. Kimura-kun's rage flared,
but he didn't dare challenge Chiba-sama. The bully walked
away that day, but I had a feeling the blow Chiba-sama dealt
to him that day still stinged.
By the way, did you know that Chiba-sama had a
reputation in Moto Azabu? I mean, other than being shy of a
genius and a perfect all-rounder? You see, he had this
reputation of being charismatic, but aloof and distant at
times. For all his charm, he always maintained a distance--
never too intimate, never too revealing. He was just so
mysterious. In general, even though he was known by every
student in Moto Azabu, nobody knew much about Chiba-sama. I
tried asking around, yet nobody knew where he lived, who his
parents were, or what he did after school! He did not belong
to any cliques-- a lone figure, independent and self-
confident. He was just Chiba Mamoru, the revered sempai.
You either hated him, or admired him. By now you
must know which camp I was in. It was the same camp as the
majority of Moto Azabu's population. Yeah, despite some of
his detractors, many other students like myself regard him
with respect. He was a student of principles. He was
self-assured, and did not change his character just to
please the crowd. I felt that that alone took guts. To
be yourself and not be bothered by what the world might
think of you. Just look at everyone... The reaction was
strong, to say the least.
Ritsuko-sensei had already proceeded to put up
the results of the top 4 students, but I was no longer
interested. I just kept gaping at Chiba-sama's name on the
board.
Why did I suddenly have a burning urge to see
Chiba-sama's reaction, especially how those blue eyes of his
would coolly look away while everyone gaped at his results?
Why was I feeling so troubled? It was not as if those marks
were shameful. To the contrary, they were amazing, by my
standards.
//But it's _low_ by Chiba-sama's.// I thought to
myself.
"Asanuma-kun...." Akira softly consoled.
"Chiba-sempai's not even here, Akira-kun," I said,
disappointment heavy in my voice. "I'm leaving."
Before Akira could reply, I ran away from the
crowd.
************************************************************
I was upset. I knew it. I was sad and shocked
that Chiba-sama dropped in rankings. I ran away from the
crowd because I didn't want to hear the ensuing gossip and
criticism that would definitely rage on the very moment the
whole crowd at the results board knew of Chiba-sama's
results.
I kept on running in a frenzied pace, not
bothering that lessons would resume soon. In a little corner
of my heart, I was hoping that I could miraculously bump
into Chiba-sama in my wild chase....
//Gomen nasai Chiba-sempai! I'm so sorry!// I
imagined myself colliding into him so hard it knocked him to
the ground. //I'm really sorry, Chiba-sempai. Let me help you!//
I imagined bowing profusely and helping him up.
//I'm okay. Really. Thanks.// My imaginary
Chiba-sama stood up by himself, politely declining my offered
hand with a smile.
//What's the big rush, er....//
//Asanuma Itto!//
//Nice to meet you, Asanuma. So, why the Mach 6
speed?//
Baka. Me and my wild imagination. You must be
wondering why I was so interested in Chiba-sama, ne?
Wondering why I was thinking so much about him right?
Firstly, do not, I repeat, DO NOT, get me wrong.
I am not gay, if you were thinking about that.
Neither is 90% of the student population in
Moto Azabu.
Moto Azabu was an all-boys school. And often we
looked up to other remarkable students as role-models.
Usually the role-models were the seniors, like Chiba-sama.
But Chiba-sama was just head and shoulders above any other
senior. Well, at least to me. He was remote. Distant. I
had hardly met him in school for months on ends, so he was
sort of like a celebrity to me. My friends and I got excited
each time we were able to spot Chiba-sama and observe him,
even if it were for a few miserable minutes. It started from
the moment I realised that the first person who welcomed me
to this school happened to be the best student in Moto Azabu
history.
So, imagine the bewilderment and excitement I
felt when I spotted Chiba-sama walking alone to the west
complex. We were both in a large area (I told you, Moto
Azabu was big!), surrounded by the lush greenery of palm
trees and soft, green grass. I ran after him. My pace slowed
down a little as I closed the gap between us to about ten
feet. My heart was hammering against my chest-- it was not
just due to the exhaustion of running, but also to the
excitement that I was so lucky to have spotted Chiba-sama.
And trail him from behind.
But now that I was so near him, without anybody
around to interfere, I was clueless as to what I should be doing!
Help me! Should I just follow him from behind? That would be
freaky - I'd be known as the "Chiba Mamoru Stalker".
I didn't want _that_ reputation.
But what else could I do? Call him from behind
and try to start a conversation?
"Ohaiyo Chiba-sempai! How are you? How's the
weather? How does it feel to get 5th place?"
Baka!
While I was mentally overtaxing my little brain,
my eyes paid attention to Chiba-sama's back. He was holding
his suitcase over his left shoulder - casual but cool nevertheless.
His leather shoes made no sound at all as he walked, and his
slow, long strides gave him the grace of a panther on
the prowl. He was taller than I thought, and his shoulders
looked really broad. My imagination got the better of me as
I envisioned Chiba-sama as the lean graceful panther,
majestically claiming its superiority over all other jungle
animals.... One mighty feline roar, and the jungle shook in
fear.
It was strange though, that the panther suddenly
stopped its tracks, and slowly turned around. By the time I
realised what was actually happening, it was too late.
I froze mid-step. Time stopped. Dear God, nothing
could possibly be worse than this!
I found myself staring into the piercing blue
eyes.... Of my sempai, Chiba Mamoru.
************************************************************
For all the conversations I imagined myself
having with Chiba-sama, none came to my mind when I needed
them most. I immediately discarded any form of greeting as I
forced myself to face the almost predatory gaze of my
sempai. Yes, everyone had said it before, and now that I was
face-to-face with him, I was about to agree with them - with
such eyes, Chiba Mamoru could electrocute a person to death.
I couldn't help admitting it. Without his spectacles, Chiba-
sama's eyes seemed to burn a hole right through me. But as
much as I could feel the intensity of his stare, I could not
make out the expression on Chiba-sama's otherwise calm face.
He didn't seem startled by my intrusion. Nor did he look
like he felt threatened or annoyed by my presence. Or was
Chiba-sama just that good at masking his feelings?
There was really a long period of silence
between the both of us, and I was so afraid that Chiba-sama
could actually hear the insanely loud thumping of my heart
that I began to feel light-headed. I wasn't sure I could
withstand Chiba-sama intense gaze any longer.
"Hello," Chiba-sama finally broke the silence,
personal charm streaming into his velvet voice.
I nearly jumped in startlement, too shocked to
hear Chiba-sama's deep voice.
"I... er...," I stammered, as I frantically
searched for a convincing excuse. Finally, I gave up. It was
useless. I could not pretend any longer, not with Chiba-
sama's smouldering gaze. My hands were trembling - it was as
though, even from that distance, Chiba-sama was exuding some
kind of potent force, invisible to the eye, but apparent to
my other senses.
"...I'm... I'm very sorry for disturbing you,
Chiba-sempai," I finally sighed in defeat.
Baka.
"You weren't disturbing me," Chiba-sama smoothly
said. He eyed me from afar, and tilted his head. "Can I help
you?"
//He doesn't remember you, Asanuma// I thought to
myself disappointingly.
My sempai began sauntering slowly towards me. My
heartbeat seemed to escalate to an unbearable rhythm as he
approached me. Even the hairs on the back of my neck were
rising rapidly at his increasing proximity.
I wondered how I could start conversing casually
with Chiba-sama, but I was not good at lying. I was still as
troubled and concerned for him now as I was when I knew of
his results. So I decided to be myself, not caring whether
it impressed him or not.
"I.... I saw your exam results at the results
board, Chiba-sempai," I meekly said. I surprised myself that I
had the courage to even look up at Chiba-sama as he came to a
halt to stand right in front of me.
He nodded, but he didn't offer a reply. How
could he be so calm?
"I couldn't stand watching everyone else
speculate on why you suddenly dropped to fifth place,
Chiba-sempai."
Chiba-sama smiled sardonically at the mention of
his ranking. I supposed he knew that he would, yet again,
become the target of buzzing school gossip.
"Aren't you going to congratulate me?" Chiba-sama
calmly asked me. His eyes were flashing brilliantly with
amusement. I was momentarily thrown aback at his unexpected
volley. Was he toying with me?
I stared back and blinked my eyes. My mouth felt
cotton-dry, but slowly, I began to speak. However, never in
my wildest dreams did I imagine myself saying the words that
left my lips.
"I don't think it's.... Appropriate for me to
congratulate you, Chiba-sempai," I glanced away for a moment,
finally breaking eye-contact.
"If it were Touya-sempai, Junpei-sempai, or even
Takeshi-sempai, I wouldn't hesitate in doing so," I paused as I
allowed my words to sink in. Then I continued, "....Because
it would be due to them reaching an all-time high. But for
you, Chiba-sempai, you're... you're different from them."
Chiba-sama was about to open his mouth to say
something, but I bowed my head and said, "Just now, I was
running because I was angry and upset at some of the
students' reaction towards your results. And when I saw you
here, I....," I brought back my eyes to meet that of the
captivating senior standing in front of me, "I... I couldn't
resist following you. Gomen nasai!" I bowed.
Silence filled the air as Chiba-sama merely stood
in front of me, just looking on. The sounds of the birds and
faraway students bustling at the corridors filled the
distance between the both of us. At that moment, it felt as
though we were on different ends of the continent.
Finally, my sempai sounded.
"That's all right. You don't have to apologise,"
the smooth voice said. Polite as always.
I looked back at my sempai. He was looking at me
with much amusement. But what were those blue eyes hiding?
What had happened to him during the few weeks he stopped
coming to school? Did I tell you that? No? I'm sorry. My
mind must have been running faster than my narration.
You see, it seemed that Chiba-sama mysteriously
stopped attending school for a few weeks about a month ago.
Nobody could find him, and the teachers were really concerned.
It was unlikely that a student like him could play truant for
such a long period of time. Much less than a month before the
exams. What happened to Chiba-sama during his disappearance?
Did it affect his performance? Nobody knew. As usual.
I had nothing to lose. So instinct drove me to
speak.
"Gomen... Chiba-sempai..."
Blue eyes regarded me.
"I know it's none of my business.... And I think
you feel that it's nobody's concern in the first place....
But," I paused and took a deep breath, "...You must have
went through a very difficult time for the past few months.
You stopped coming to school for a few weeks. Nobody here may
know about it, but whatever it was that you had to go
through," I looked into Chiba-sama's captivating eyes,
"...I am so sorry no one could help." My voice broke at the
last word. I don't know why.
Suddenly, my senses returned to me. Oh my God.
Did I.... Did I say what I had just said?! WHAT
HAD I JUST DONE?! What had I just said?! BAKAAAAAAA!!! I didn't
even realise I actually had the stupidity to say that!
I took a look at Chiba-sama. He was looking at me
with seemingly startled eyes, his sharp features in stony
silence, frozen in the afternoon rays of sunlight.
I grimaced inwardly as I realised that I was
merely embarrassing Chiba-sama and putting him in an awkward
position. Whether or not he went through a difficult time
was none of my business, and it was worse that I was showing
such concern towards him. I felt no better than the smug
people at the results board. I bit my lower lip as my eyes
started to sting with onsetting tears. I wanted to meet
Chiba-sama so badly before this. So badly... Why did I make a
fool of myself when I finally had the chance?
//Chiba-sama, please stop staring at me like that.
I know the last thing you want in your life is pity. Just
don't hold me in your sharp gaze like that....//
I stood rooted to the ground, the only solace I
could seek was the ringing silence between us. Finally I
crumbled under pressure and bowed my head even lower. I didn't know
what else to do. As silence ensued, I took a peek of Chiba-
sama through the bangs covering my eyes.
Chiba-sama looked away slowly. For a moment, his
eyes seemed to glaze over and his flawless features seemed
to grimace infinitesimally. Was it pain or fear that I saw
in those infamous blue eyes? Resentment? Shame? Or guilt? I
didn't know. Somehow I suddenly felt bad for reminding him
of whatever experience he had had to go through. The expression
on his face was just so heartbreaking. Never did I expect him to
appear so pained.
A few moments passed, and I heard him whisper to
the wind...
"Someone did help me."
The older student in front of me was still
looking far away, and the fine lips pursed in a grim line.
His expression was dark and serious, as though he was
remembering something painful, something sorrowful. At that
moment, a breeze came our way, gently blowing against
his face and through his jet black hair.
"And she came for me...."
He softly closed his long eyelashes, and his
lips curved into a soft child-like smile... For a stunning
moment, with the mid-morning sunshine encasing him, Chiba-
sama didn't look at all like a seventeen year old student...
I didn't know why, but in just that amazing
moment, Chiba-sama looked like a magical, regal creature. He
looked peaceful. He looked so contented. The pained
expression was gone by then, and in its place was a look of
a grown man who had been searching for something for a long
time....
And had finally found it.
Almost too soon, the cool breeze stopped and
Chiba-sama regarded me warmly again.
"You're very honest. Stay that way," Chiba-sama
softly said.
My eyes widened.
Chiba-sama looked at me, smiling politely. "We've
met before."
It was not a question. It was a remark. My
feelings brightened up considerably at his reaction to what
I had said.
"Late last year, you were searching for the exam
hall here." Chiba-sama reached to unruffle his wind-blown
hair casually. "Glad to meet you again, Asanuma-kun."
He remembered my name! He actually remembered
it, even though we met nearly a year ago! I was starting to
feel light-headed again with excitement.
"... err...Hai, Chiba-sempai!" I bowed, "I'm
Asanuma Itto. 1st Year student!"
"Don't be upset anymore, Asanuma-kun," Chiba-sama
said. "I'm not the least disappointed with my results.
Besides," he cocked his eyebrow, "...The national exam next year
is more important than the school finals. I'll do my best
then," he said, a confident smile snaking up his features.
"Yeah.... Good luck Chiba-sempai," I extended my
hand. It was the same gesture he gave me when we first met
last year. But now I was the one offering the handshake.
"Arigato, Asanuma-kun," he accepted it and gave
a firm shake. I trembled slightly at his touch. It really
felt as though his confidence flowed through me at that very
instance. It was something indescribable-- almost as though
he was in my head and letting a boost of good vibes surge
through me.
Baka.
My imagination must be getting the better of me.
"I'm going to the west complex now. How about
you?" Chiba-sama said.
"I'm having lessons now. I'd better get going,
Chiba-sempai," I quickly said.
"Yes, you should," he said, a small smile gracing
his lips. There was something twinkling within his eyes, but I
couldn't imagine why.
The both of us exchanged bows and I turned to leave.
I was jumping away in excitement, when Chiba-sama yelled, with
a tone sprinkled with amusement.
"Oh by the way, Asanuma-kun, it's Chiba-sempai,
not Chiba-sama!"
I gaped in shock as he chuckled to himself and
left.
I ran back to my class, my heart thumping in glee
interspersed with bewilderment (due to his parting words!).
Throughout the day I was distracted, and kept playing the whole
conversation in my head again and again. At last my mind settled
on the dark look he had when I talked about his absentism. Until
now it I fail to comprehend what Chiba-sama had said to himself
just then, but somehow I think he was feeling much better now.
Whichever girl he was referring to, she must be somebody really,
really, _really_ special.
And you know what? I'm really glad she helped
Chiba-sama. The smile on his face as he thought of her....
It was something nobody in Moto Azabu had ever seen.
************************************************************
THE END
************************************************************
27 Jan 2002 - The idea of this story bloomed when I
realised that I was doing an injustice to my readers with
the slow production of my baby, "The Golden Crystal". Don't
hold your breath for it, because it's one enormous fic which
I _will_ write to full circle. My apologies go to those whom
I have not yet reached personally to apologise for the late
production! ^_^, thank you for understanding. This short
vignette's shorter, and I think it's better to give you guys
a completed story for once *grin*.
This vignette involves a junior in Mamoru's high school,
Asanuma. This cute character first appeared in Volume 4 of
the SAILORMOON manga. You can check that volume out to read
how he first met Mamoru. It was very interesting (to me!).
The word "sempai" is a respectful term given to a role-model
or somebody you greatly admire. It can be used by either boy
or girl, such as in Asanuma's case here, and in Rei's case,
when she was infatuated with Mamoru (anime).
In Japan, there really is a tradition of the teachers
displaying results of the top 50 or top 100 students in the
school compound/hall. Many find it terribly damaging to
young students' self-esteem, but it cannot be denied that
the mere act of comparing results can really spark heated
competition that could drive the students to their best
potential. The national examination held in Japan (which
determines which universities a student can apply to) is
also regarded as the most difficult examination in Asia (I
am not sure whether it also included the world), and the
third hardest exam is the STPM, the university entrance
exam conducted in my country, Malaysia! Err... I'm not sure
whether to be proud or exasperated here *sweatdrop*.
Another aspect which I would like to clarify is about
single-gender schools. I understand that most of you are in
co-ed schools, so I'll explain here. In all-girls' or all-
boys' schools, there is a natural tendency to idolise
certain high-profile students. Sometimes you might
misunderstand that such "student-fans" are
homosexuals/lesbians, but it is just a form of hero-worship.
It may as well happen in co-ed schools, but in a more
suppressed form since it could spark off rumours of
homosexuality. But this is not the case. It has been
inherent all these years. It is _not_, I repeat, anything
sexual. It is merely a form of respect and reverence to
students who inspire you to be your best. Just
like how you may have a favourite singer/actor/anime
character (Mamoru!!), these students may have a favourite
senior/schoolmate. It is common in Asia, since there are
many single-gender schools, but I think many in the Western
countries have misunderstood such feelings as homosexuality
and blown it out of proportions. Not every student has a
"student idol"-- it's just that I would like to tell you
that such a culture exists. And it does not mean that you
are gay.
The time/period in which Asanuma here told us about Mamoru
"suddenly disappearing from school" actually refers to the
period in which Mamoru died protecting Sailormoon and was
turned into Dark Endymion by Queen Beryl. I have no evidence
substantiating the length of his absence, but I just assumed
his disappearance lasted for a month/few weeks.
And I'm not telling you the name of the girl Mamoru was
referring to. You ought to know. WITHOUT A DOUBT.
Thank you for reading this. Hope you enjoyed it!
Sincerely,
Mamolove
david_duchovny@hotmail.com
"MAMORU FANFICTION"
http://devoted.to/mamorufanfiction
"My Love: MAMORU CHIBA"
http://devoted.to/mamoruchiba
Date started: 31 December 2001
Date completed: 27 January 2002
Date edite: 7 August 2003
Sailor Moon is copyright (c) 1992 Naoko
Takeuchi/Kodansha,
TOEI Animation. English Language Adaptation (c)
1995 DIC Entertainment.