I guess I couldn't stay away. Well, I'm still on a break from Tok'ra in Atlantis, but I've been meaning to update Camilla's back story. Personally, it's all well and good what I've written in Tok'ra in Atlantis with the SG-1 parts in it, but looking back, I can't help but think I was a bit naive about the world, too sure about how people would automatically do the right thing. So, I decided a few months ago to re-write all that, create a more believable SG-1 story for all of you. I know a couple of readers have remarked on it, so... here's the remedy.

This is not the split off from Tok'ra in Atlantis, nor will it be, but I certainly planning on linking in aspects from my other Stargate story. I hope everyone enjoys this slightly more realistic view of Camilla's life and I look forward to reading everyone's reviews. Like before, guest reviews have been allowed, so I ask that Guests please leave an identifying name (i.e.'Guest1' 'Guest2') so I know who's who and don't misaddress and answer the wrong person! It's small, but it helps me keep people straight. Like in my other Story TiA (Tok'ra in Atlantis), there will be a section at the bottom of every chapter - after this one of course - that will be solely for answering guest reviews or queries held by a large number of reviewers.

A warning to all reviewers: I don't mind constructive criticism - you hate parts, or all, and think that grammar/spelling/plot needs work, tell me where and how I can improve so I don't make the same mistake next time - but Flames are a completely different matter. If I receive a review that is only 'hate this' 'hate that' with no tips, I will warn you, once, let you explain yourself - maybe it's just me in a bad mood mis-reading your review - before I report you. I have yet to deal with Flames since starting TiA, but I want myself understood before anything happens.

Now, as a disclaimer: I don't own anything Stargate related or belonging to MGM and whoever owns everything Stargate. I'm just using the idea, the premise, and the characters to write. I'll be nice and put things back, but they're not mine.

Now, on with the show!

1992, OUTSIDE OF LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA

If there was one thing that the eight year old little girl knew about the state she had been born in, it was that it was pretty hot and certainly not helping as she stood swaying at the end of the dirt road she'd always looked down when she was younger.

Her blonde hair was matted and dirty and her skin had more dirt on it than a child of eight years usually had on them. But it was her eyes that surveyed everything that would have startled many to see. Despite the sky blue hue they held, they also held a wariness that many adults would have sworn they should only ever see, if at all, in a war veteran's gaze, not a young child.

Taking in a rasping breath, the little girl looked over her shoulder at the empty house she had just escaped from. She knew her parents wouldn't be back until after dark, cursing her, and she had taken the time available to her to leave, taking what precious little belonged to her in the small rucksack she had been given long ago. She knew her parent's had loved her once, long ago, but something had changed, leaving them bitter and twisted.

Shaking her head slowly, rasping in another breath, the little girl hugged her right arm to her chest and limped down the road, focusing on getting as far away from the building as she could, even if she knew it would kill her.

As she limped, dragging her leg behind her, the girl took in the sight of the two farm fields on either side of her. On the right stood a field of green grass and another field further down that held still growing corn while on the left stood several, large bales of yellow coloured hay amid a large field with more of it waiting to be cut. The fields were separated by two, long, wooden fences, seeming to part the fields before her.

Forcing another breath into her lungs, the girl focused her concentration on her breathing instead of her surroundings, resolutely continuing down the dirt road. She slowly got further and further away from the large house, focusing on breathing and placing her best foot forwards.

As focused as she was, the eight year old girl didn't hear anything untoward until she heard a massive explosion coming from the field of hay on her left. Seeing the smoke rising from the field, the girl quickly glanced at the house that was still too close for her liking before looking back at the field and coughing. She resolutely walked towards the field, ducking under the almost crude fence and towards the smoke that she had seen.

Limping and walking as slowly as she was, coughing intermittently, the girl quickly came to a large, odd-shaped clearing in the hay, many ears of hay now either destroyed or flat on the ground, charred. Moving through the clearing as slowly as she dared, the girl looked around, stepping over ragged and sharp pieces of metal and crystal shards that littered the majority of the clearing with the occasional piece of metal tubing sticking out of the ground.

Coughing and fanning her face with her left hand, the girl knew both the heat of the day and the smoke coming from the wreckage wasn't helping her breathing and she couldn't help but look around for people.

She froze a few moments later as she finally saw someone; a man lay on the ground, dressed in odd clothing as one leg jutted out at an odd angle that the girl knew meant his leg was broken, even as she saw that one arm remained while the other disappeared just past the shoulder, blood slowly oozing from his broken body.

Coughing, the girl limped closer, looking at the man; taking in the dark hair and the paling skin. As she moved, she winced, hearing something crack beneath her bare feet and she watched as the man's eyes slowly blinked and moved from looking up at the sky to her.

Despite the man's obvious pain, he smiled, coughing slightly and the girl couldn't help but return it as she limped closer.

"Peace…. child," the man coughed out as she forced herself to sit down, taking the weight of her body off of her leg.

"Is… there anything I can… do to help?" she asked the man softly.

He shook his head once, wincing. "Nothing can be done for me," he answered. "Nothing….. for me… but maybe for Kel'an…"

The girl frowned and leaned closer to the man. "Kel'…an?" she asked, forcing in a rasping breath through her weak throat.

The man's eyes focused on her, frowning slightly and the eight year old stiffened as he lifted his remaining hand out to her, resting it gently on her throat. His frown deepened for a moment before his gaze lost some of its focus but his hand remained where it was.

"Kel'an is a friend…" the man said after a moment, lowering his hand slowly. "He has aided me… I cannot allow him to die… not with me… not like this."

The girl tilted her head slightly before wincing, raising her left hand to her throat, then her mouth as she coughed, feeling her body shaking with the effort.

"Kel'an can heal you… take away your pain… breathe for you," the man continued, nodding in understanding as she struggled to even out her already raspy breathing, even as he coughed himself.

The man's entire body seemed to shake with a fit as he coughed and the girl edged closer, taking his remaining hand in her left one, offering him some comfort as he slowly regained control over his body.

"Please," the man rasped. "Please… take Kel', take him…"

The girl edged closer and over the man's head, frowning. She couldn't see his friend and she wasn't sure where he was.

"… How…?" she asked.

The man gently cupped the back of her head with his free hand and gently pulled her closer. "Like… this…" he said.

Opening her mouth to protest at his strength, memories of her father flashing in front of her eyes, the girl screamed and gagged as something flew out from the man and into her. Pulling back and out of the man's grasp, the girl's left hand flew to her throat, feeling the stinging pain at the back of her throat before it faded to a dull throb, then to nothing.

I am sorry, a voice spoke in her mind and the girl froze, her body tensing everywhere. I am sorry for what Al'ek and I have done, Camilla. If you do not wish for me to remain, let me heal your injuries and I shall leave you.

Camilla, the little girl, stayed frozen, panting hard, before she felt her eyes widen as she realised the ease with which she breathed. She breathed in like she hadn't since long before the incident, the one incident she refused to think about or remember.

You're… You're Kel'an? Camilla asked, thinking the words like the voice in her mind seemed to have done.

The voice chuckled in answer. I am, she answered. Until a few moments ago, I resided within Al'ek, the man you were speaking with.

Camilla's eyes flew to the man lying on the ground, his breath coming in short, sharp wheezes and she moved closer to him, moving his head into her lap as she stroked her left hand through what little hair he had.

He asked me to take you, the girl thought quietly as she soothed the man gently with her usable hand. I won't disappoint him.

The voice, Kel'an, the girl reminded herself, seemed to chuckle again and the noise seemed to solidify itself within her mind. You are as honourable as Al'ek thought you might be, he commented. Might I have control, Camilla?

Camilla nodded slowly before she felt her body tensing and her head lowering without her control before she felt another entity controlling her body without her telling it to move.

"Goodbye, my dear friend," the entity spoke and somehow Camilla knew it was Kel'an speaking now, her voice changing her own to something deeper, more dangerous sounding. "I will die before I let your murderer go free, Al'ek. Rest in peace knowing Camilla, my host, will care for me. Rest in peace knowing I will mourn you."

The man seemed to smile through his pain as he reached his hand up to her and Camilla watched as her left hand moved to intercept it and press it to her cheek, holding it close. As much as she had wished to never know how a person looked when they died, she stood beside Kel'an as they kept the man company until his body grew slack and his hand fell limp from their weak grip.

Kel'an bowed her head and Camilla felt his grief, his mourning for the man as they reached down and closed his eyes. After what seemed an age, Camilla felt sensation returning to her limbs and moved them, feeling her left arm moving under her control.

Thank you for that, Camilla, Kel'an spoke in her mind. Or do you prefer Cam?

The girl smiled weakly, still holding Al'ek's head in her lap. Cam, please, she answered politely. Are you a boy or a girl? she suddenly asked, unsure of how to think of Kel'an now.

The chuckle returned, weaker this time, sadder. Strictly speaking, Cam, I have no gender, Kel'an answered. I adopt the gender of the host, so I believe you could classify me as 'female' or 'girl'.

Cam nodded her head slowly in answer. What can we do for Al'ek? she asked.

Kel'an sighed in her mind. Hay is flammable, so we can easily burn his body in this field, she answered, now, if we wished it. We need to get away from this field as quickly as your body will allow.

Cam nodded and felt Kel'an forcing her body to stand slowly, moving Al'ek's body off of her legs as they moved. It took a few minutes to search his body and the clearing for anything remotely useful before they both covered Al'ek's body in hay torn from the ground. It took several more minutes before a fire was blazing merrily around and on his body.

The eight year old girl was vaguely aware of Kel'an humming a song under her breath as they looked at the burning pyre for a few more seconds before the entity in her mind turned her body away and left the field, climbing under the fencing before they carried along Camilla's original route.

Where do we go from here? Cam asked Kel'an tentatively.

The entity laughed softly. Somewhere we can hide for the next few hours in safety, she answered. I have your body to heal, and memories to share.

Cam found herself swallowing convulsively and she shook her head. "You don't want to see my memories," she said quietly. "I don't like thinking about them and you won't either."

A sigh drifted through her mind. I am many times older than you, Camilla, Kel'an told her gently, there is very little, if anything at all, that I have not seen in my long life.

The little girl swallowed again. "You won't like them," she repeated. "But I'll let you look if you really want."

The other being chuckled softly. There is no 'want' about it, Kel'an told her. If we are to properly care for each other, then you and I must share our memories, must fully blend for the both of us to gain the most from your body.

Cam nodded slowly. She didn't like it, but she didn't want to struggle to breathe for the rest of her life.

A-A-A-A-A-A

Cam curled her body in on itself as much as she could in the field of corn several miles from her home. Kel'an had made comments about needing daylight to gauge how long they had taken and Cam knew about several of the fields in the area, well aware of what grew in them.

Now, Kel'an breathed tiredly, it is time for you and me to share our memories and blend fully. When you next open your eyes, Camilla, your injuries will already be well on their way to completely healed.

Cam nodded slowly, coughing for a moment before she felt reality disappear from around her, thousands, if not millions, of memories started to play out in front of her. Information and knowledge that Cam knew she didn't know started to sink in, even as she watched Al'ek's early life while parts of her own memories seemed to do the same.

As time passed her by, Cam quickly grew to know of the life she had entered, of hosts and symbiotes, of the fight and of Al'ek's living relatives. She learned about Martouf and his own symbiote Lantash and the mother he and Al'ek shared, Saroosh with her symbiote Selmak. More memories of fights, battles, wars and host's loved ones played in front of her mind until, when Cam next opened her eyes, it was to see the setting sun in the west.

She also, quickly, grew aware of the anger Kel'an seemed to be exuding. I swear to you, Camilla, I shall not let you suffer like you have done, she swore. If I can have my way, despite the knowledge we now share, I will have you somewhere you can experience love as it was meant to be, not what your parents distorted it to.

Cam winced at that, remembering the abuse, the beatings, the starvation and finally, that last straw that had made her decide to leave. Remorse quickly filled her and Cam knew it wasn't herself, that it was Kel'an, even as soothing and calm emotions covered her.

I am sorry, her symbiote breathed. Quickly, let us leave this place before someone comes across us.

A-A-A-A-A-A

THREE WEEKS LATER, PITTSBURG, CALIFORNIA

Cam swung her legs under the branch of the oak tree she sat in looking out over a garden, a willow tree sat in the middle of it, but there were apple trees around it. Ripe apples and not so ripe hung from the branches and the girl rubbed at her sore stomach.

It had been days since she'd managed to have a meal and Cam knew Kel'an couldn't hold off her hunger for much longer. As she looked down into the white fenced garden with the lush green grass, she debated the plan she and her symbiote had concocted between themselves.

Can't you do anything? At all?

Kel'an sighed in her mind. I am sorry, she replied. I've held it off for the last four days, I cannot hold it off much longer without killing the two of us.

Cam nodded slowly at that and checked that her small bag was on her back before she leapt from the tree and into the garden, rolling as she landed. Pausing to look around, she raced for the apple tree closest to the fence and the oak she had jumped from and looked up at the low hanging branches. She'd already looked for signs of anyone in the garden and she moved quickly, not wanting to linger.

With three of the less ripe apples in her arms, Cam made to move to the fence, only to freeze when she felt a firm hand on her shoulder. Oh dear, Kel'an muttered. I should have been more aware.

Cam slowly turned around to look at the owner of the hand and saw an older man, older than her own father was, with what she could see was what remained for close-cropped grey hair. He stood taller than Cam and he had his hands now crossed over his chest, a frown marring his features.

"What are you doing with those apples?" he asked her as he continued to frown.

With the memories of her birth father still prominent in her mind, Cam swallowed convulsively against the fear that settled throughout her body. "I was hungry, sir," she admitted quietly, politely. "I haven't eaten in days."

The man continued to frown at her as he held out both hands to her. Hesitating for only a moment, Cam handed the apples back to him, watching as he looked at each of them for a moment before his expression relaxed slightly.

"You're smart," he commented. "You took the ones that weren't ripe yet."

Cam nodded in answer, looking down and away from him. "I thought that whoever owned the trees wouldn't mind if the ripe ones hadn't been touched," she told him. "I didn't want to take a lot, sir."

She started as she heard a twig breaking moments before a red apple was held in front of her. Surprised, she looked up at the man, frowning slightly as she tilted her head at him.

"Go ahead," he told her. "You can eat inside." He looked at her as she slowly took it. "I have enough pancakes that you can have some."

Still somewhat surprised, Cam let him gently usher her inside, pausing to wipe her bare feet outside before moving inside the house. The man led her through the bottom floor to the kitchen and he gestured to the island in the centre of the room.

"Take a seat," he told her.

Cam frowned and looked at him. "Where?" she asked him quietly.

She watched him turn around and look at her before he nodded to the stools. "They would be a good place to start," he told her.

Cam nodded and quickly clambered up one of them, feeling Kel'an's own strength adding to her own as she pulled herself up into the seat.

"You got a name?" the man asked.

Cam paused as she looked at him. She was unsure. As kind as he was, she didn't entirely trust him.

Tell him, Kel'an urged her gently. He won't be able to hurt you, not with me beside you. I can easily fight him off if things go bad.

Nodding, the girl took a breath, still marvelling to herself that she could breathe so easily.

"Camilla," she told him. "Camilla Alma, sir."

The man chuckled as he stood at the stove, facing away from her. "Call me Jacob, kid," he told her.

She watched as he turned around and placed a plate stacked with round food in front of her. She sniffed the air suspiciously for a few moments before she picked up a fork and broke a piece of the food off from the rest. While she was aware of 'Jacob' watching her, she was more concerned with the food, making sure it wasn't harmful to her – remembering how many times her mother had slipped various drugs into her food.

When it was proven that it was nice tasting and not poisoned, Cam was mildly surprised with the ferocity that she started to eat the food. She barely paused between mouthfuls to breathe and swallow, almost inhaling the food, suddenly afraid that it would be taken from her.

"Slow down, Camilla," he told her, laughing softly. "You'll make yourself sick if you continue to eat like that."

Cam blushed and nodded, slowing down. "Sorry, sir," she apologised before she ate another bite, forcing herself to eat slower.

The man chuckled, shaking his head. "I told you to call me Jacob," he told her before he frowned and looked at her hair, her skin and her right arm. "Where are your parents?"

Cam put her fork down and looked away from both the food and the man. "They didn't like me," she told him. "They hated me… so I left."

The girl tensed when she felt Jacob lifting the sleeve of her shirt up, revealing the still healing bruise to her forearm. "They did this to you?" he asked and Cam nodded once in answer. "You won't ever go back to them. Sleep here tonight and I'll see what I can do."

Cam nodded slowly and reluctantly returned to her meal, picking at it now. She couldn't hide her fear, nor did she feel Kel'an trying to, both of them far too wary for her age.

They also knew that Jacob was aware of her actions, but even that didn't seem to let her relax.

A-A-A-A-A-A

The sun was just setting, many hours later, when Cam saw Jacob shutting various lights off in the downstairs of his home. She frowned when he moved to the front of the house, locking the front door before he returned to the living room where she was sat on the sofa, her hands folded on her lap.

The young girl was completely unsure what she should have spent the day doing, remembering what she would have done had she been back home, fearing her parent's return. Kel'an's memories of her tenure as an undercover agent amoung the Goa'uld had her looking around the room, looking for threats and Cam heard Jacob sigh.

"Come on, Camilla," he told her. "I've got a room upstairs that you can sleep in for the night."

Nodding politely, the young Tok'ra host climbed off of the sofa and walked over to the man, following him up the stairs calmly and to the door that he opened for her.

"This was my daughter's room," Jacob said softly. "She hasn't been back in a few years, but she hasn't taken everything." He looked down at her with a small smile. "Sleep here tonight and I'll make a few calls in the morning."

Cam nodded and stepped inside, taking in the sight of various stuffed bears and other toys on a few bookshelves while thicker, bigger, books littered the rest.

"Thank you," she said quietly.

A-A-A-A-A-A

THE NEXT MORNING

Jacob sighed as he helped himself to a couple of painkillers, feeling his joints aching again as he washed the two pills down with a mouthful of water before he poured his coffee.

Camilla Alma was an interesting child and the father in him felt an urge to protect her like she hadn't by her parents before. She'd watched him like a caged animal, waiting for the other proverbial shoe to drop and Jacob rubbed at his face.

After he'd been sure Camilla had fallen asleep in Sammy's room, he'd gone downstairs and dialled the number for her apartment in Colorado, hoping that she would be in for the first time in days. He'd gotten through which was followed by a careful conversation with his biological child, explaining the situation before he smiled, remembering his daughter's parting words before she'd said goodbye:

"Are things really that bad, dad?" Sam asked.

Jacob nodded, the sight of the bruises littering Camilla's forearms clear in his mind. "Whoever her parents were, at least one of them left an imprint on her, Sam," he answered. "Bruises littering her arms and an attitude you would expect from someone back from a warzone."

Then his daughter surprised him. "Then adopt her, dad," she said. "I don't mind her taking my room." She'd sighed then. "I don't think I'll be back for a while yet, so the girl can have my room."

He'd been left dumb-founded by his daughter before he smiled. "Thanks, Sam," he said. "You need anything?"

His blonde-haired daughter chuckled. "Nah," she replied before sighing again. "I've gotta go dad."

Looking up, hearing a quiet pattering of slow footsteps, Jacob looked up from his coffee and saw Camilla walking slowly down the stairs, her arms wrapped around self-consciously around her body as she looked around.

"You're awake," he said, watching her blue eyes track to him. "You want something to drink?"

The girl bit her lip, obviously unsure as she walked from the stairs towards the kitchen, moving slowly still. "I…uh…" she said quietly, drifting off and Jacob understood, placing a glass of orange squash in front of her.

"Drink up," he told her. "You sleep well?"

Camilla nodded as she took the glass from the counter, holding it gingerly – almost as if she was afraid of actually touching it – before she took a sip. "Yes si- Jacob," she answered. "Thank you."

Shaking his head as he put some toast on, Jacob found himself chuckling. "You don't need to keep thanking me," he told her firmly before he looked at her, crouching down in front of her.

The girl took a cautious step back and Jacob found himself holding his hands open, palms facing her as she looked at him, wary. Jacob cursed the existence of her biological parents, feeling the deep-seated urge to beat her so-called father to a bloody pulp.

"I called my daughter last night," he told Camilla, looking at her. "I asked her that if you wanted to stay, could you have her room." Camilla tilted her head as she simultaneously relaxed and tensed further. "I want to know if you want to stay here longer, Camilla."

The young child – Jacob wouldn't put her older than ten, but certainly above five years old – looked at him warily. "You want me to stay?" she asked.

He nodded and Jacob watched as she looked away, her hair falling her face as she seemed to think. "I want to help you, kid," he told her. "Every child deserves a place with a family that loves them."

The girl lifted one hand and pulled her hair back, curling it behind an ear as she looked at him, suddenly vulnerable. "You really mean it?" she asked.

Jacob nodded again. "If you let me, I won't let you go back to your parents," he promised. "I'll do whatever I can to make sure that never happens."

When he saw the girl edging towards him, he held his arms open to her and let her come into an embrace at her own pace. When he felt her arms wrap around his chest, Jacob carefully wrapped his own arms around her, keeping his grip loose as he returned her hug, using one hand to gently cradle her head to his shoulder.

"Thank you, Jacob," Camilla breathed.

For once, Jacob didn't correct her, didn't tell her to stop, but just held the scared girl in his arms. He held her, feeling her thin body in his embrace before he stood, still holding her small body in his embrace. Camilla squeaked in his ear, her arms tightening for a moment before she pulled back to look at him.

"How old are you?" Jacob asked her.

If he was going through on his hastily made plans, then it was time he knew what he could about the little girl in his arms. "Eight," she answered after a few seconds. "I just turned eight."

That's it for the first chapter of Camilla's life with Kel'an and I hope to continue this on, adding to it when I can. Let me know your opinions and I'll have another chapter ready for you ASAP. *tilts head for a moment* I think I can get another one out when I next update TiA. Any who, enjoy this, leave feedback that I will enjoy reading and wait just a little longer before the next chapter!