The Last Letter
A/N: One-shot. Hope you enjoy. Very sad though...
October 18, 1992
Dear Friend,
I'm sorry I haven't written to you in a while. I've been busy 'participating'. That was over the summer, but now school's started I hardly get t o see them anymore. I know it's not their fault, but I miss them so much. They write letters but rarely get to visit. Patrick said that he found a boyfriend who's nice and doesn't have to hide it from his parents; I'm happy for him. Sam told me not too worry; that she'll wait for me. But I can't help but worry; she's so pretty and at college surround by boys… I'm not helping myself, an I? My sister told her boyfriend that she was pregnant; she said he'd changed. It turns out he was right; he didn't leave. He's planning on marrying her after the baby's born.
As for school, it's hard not having them there. Sam, Patrick, Mary Elizabeth, Alice, Bob, even Peter and Craig. Even my Bill isn't there anymore. My therapist is trying to help me with my social skills or lack of them. I want to make new friends, but I'm worried I'll forget my true friends or they'll think I've replaced them. But that not possible. I tried making a friend by taking to the new girl to make my therapist and parents happy. The girl's name is Ann. She has dark hair the she wears in tight curls that stop at her shoulders, and electric blue eyes that stand out against her tan skin. She is pretty but not as pretty as Sam; No one can be as pretty or prettier than Sam. Ann is okay she doesn't talk much. I've told my parents about her. They're happy to see me being 'social' and think the she is a lot like me; I don't see it. We have a lot of classes together, but that's it. I can't help but compare her to my friends. She's not as funny as Patrick, as talkative as Mary Elizabeth, or I can;t compare her to Sam it's not fair, for Ann. But I still do. I guess my parents think we're a like because we are smart (she's most of my advanced classes) and we are what people would call 'socially awkward' but I'm not around my friends. I miss them so much. I'm really trying to be above average in the advanced class so I can skip my junior year and hopefully get to see Sam and Patrick sooner. I know it may sound stupid because I'll get to see them over break and what not, but it's not the same. They busy with homework and project and other extracurricular activities. I can't wait until summer break; it seems just so far away.
I didn't realize how much I depended on Ann as my at school friend until she was absent for three days. We would make small talk but that's it. I guess you miss have some one even if you barely know them to talk to. If you ask about family well that's different. They mostly ask me question about how I'm feeling and my social life. When Ann came back she must have sensed that I noticed her absence and real quietly she asked "Miss me?" I know it was rhetorical but I nodded a yes. I surprisingly did miss her. That was the day we had a first real conversation at lunch. I found out that she's into reading novels and want to study science on college. When I told my parents that I carried on a conversation with some one they are so happy. Am I real that 'socially awkward'?
All that happened in September. It's October now and I don't know if I can make it to Christmas break. Ann moved to New York because her dad got moved there to work. She writes to me on occasion. You could say that we did grow close, but not as close as I am with Sam. There I go comparing her to Sam again. I can't help it. No one will ever live up to Sam in my mind.
Thing started to get bad again last week. I was in the hospital again only I remember what happened and what I did.I don't think I can explain it because that would be reliving it. Lets just say I haven't been that bad in a long time. Sam wrote me a letter telling to hang in there. I'm trying Sam; I really am. I'm trying to stay strong. But that was two weeks ago. I don't know how much longer I can take it. I keeping thinking that Sam and Patrick even Ann who I barely knew have moved on. I'm alone… Sam why don't you visit or write anymore. I'm thinking too fast again. It's like the room is spinning. Things are moving. I have to stop this letter now. Friend I'm sorry I just don't think I can take this anymore. Please tell Sam I'm sorry I can't be the boyfriend you deserve, but I've always loved her. It's not your fault this is my last letter.
Love always,
Charlie
A/N: Love it, hate it, me know! I hope you enjoyed it. I will make it a two shot if you all want more closer.