Hello, everyone! This is a quick story that I thought up a long time ago and finally got around to editing. There are a bunch of stories that I have ideas for, some long and some short, that I like to work on when I have just a little bit of time. One thing I like about one/twoshots is that I can finish them in just a few nights and hopefully provide some entertainment without being committed to continuing it in the midst of a crazy schedule with school, work, etc. This is just a quick, fast-paced fanfic with some humor and action!

Takes place in an alternate universe with firearms, because why not? Characters retain all their ninja skills from the original series, all bloodlines and most relevant characteristics. Basically took the Naruto world and fast-forwarded the technology in it by a couple hundred years while preserving the things that make Naruto, Naruto. At least, I hope that's what I did, haha. Hope you like it!

All characters, techniques, and terms belong to Masashi Kishimoto, creator of the Naruto Universe. The only rights I claim to this story are for the plot. Do not distribute this fic without my permission and proper credit.

Crimson Carbine

"Moving in on the target," Sasuke reported. "Two hundred fifty meters and closing."

"Copy that," Kakashi answered.

"Of course he does, he copies everything!" Naruto snickered.

"Naruto, you're on an open channel," Sakura sighed. "We could all hear that."

"Then why didn't anyone laugh?"

"Focus, moron!" Sasuke growled.

"Everyone, quiet!" Kakashi hushed. "Make sure everyone is in position before you make the grab. Sakura, where are you?"

"Tenth floor," she replied. "Sixty seconds."

"Good," Kakashi said. "I'm just about finished here."

"We're in position now," Sasuke relayed. "Target in sight."

"Remember, our quarry has a tattoo on his right hand that says 'blood.' Make sure there's no mistake."

Sasuke carefully edged forward until he could glance sidelong through the small window in the door.

"Target confirmed," he declared. "Dead or alive?"

"Alive is preferable," Kakashi answered.

"We all make mistakes," Sasuke smirked.

"Sasuke!" Sakura scolded.

"I know, I know," he said. "I'll be good."

"How far away is the target?" Kakashi asked.

"Five to ten meters," Naruto replied. "Playing cards at a table. We can just see them through the blinds… how much longer are we going to wait?"

"Everything is ready," Sakura answered. "Naruto, Sasuke, you're clear to engage. Keep the line open."

Naruto's suppressed chuckle came through the headset. "Do you guys remember… our first mission as a team? Where we all acted so seriously, whispering into our radios, planning routes of attack, all just to catch some stupid cat?"

"Yeah, what about it?" Sakura asked impatiently.

Naruto shoved a magazine into his M4 carbine and checked to see that his safety was off.

"I'm just hoping this cat doesn't 'scratch.'"

"Hn," Sasuke smirked. "I'm not too worried. That kind of crap always happened to you."

"Enough chatter," Kakashi interrupted. "Engage target."

"Guess he's talking to me, huh? Seeing as how you're already marr-"

BOOM!

Naruto's voice was cut off as Sasuke activated the breaching charges and the door exploded inwards, leaving a ringing in their ears and the clatter of splintered wood and shattered metal scrapping across the cement floor of the warehouse.

"Get your hands in the air!" Naruto yelled, sweeping his gun around to encompass the handful of guards and their target, most of which were on the ground clutching their ears.

"You heard him! Hands up!" Sasuke added, holding his pistol to the back of the head of one of the guards. "What's in your fist? Drop it!"

Ping.

Sasuke's eyes rested first on the metal pin spinning to the floor, then up to the man's toothy, deranged smile as he realized its significance.

"Kitty has some big claws," Naruto grimaced.

"Move!" Sasuke shouted, diving behind cover.

The grenade's explosion rocked the warehouse, and their target used the distraction to make a break for the rear exit, leaving Naruto and Sasuke coughing in the dust and debris.

"Multiple hostiles headed for the docks," he said, pulling Naruto to his feet. "Caught us off guard. Initiating pursuit."

As they ran after their target through the narrow hallways, Naruto asked, "You think they're making a break for that pretty speedboat?"

"Probably," Sasuke smirked.

"They're going to be disappointed, then," Kakashi answered through the radio.

A massive explosion shook the floor beneath their feet, followed by the muffled curses of their target's entourage.

"Because I rigged it with enough C4 to take out a barge."

Sasuke kicked the back door off its hinges and the two of them rushed out, using the confusion of the explosion to cover their advance. A black limousine pulled around the building, and two men in dark suits stepped out and gestured at the vehicle, urging their target to hurry. One of them caught sight of Sasuke and Naruto as they approached, and reached into his jacket for his pistol.

Naruto riddled him with half a dozen shots before the gun left its holster. As he fell to the pavement, Sasuke took in the rest of the scene in one sweeping glance. Six body guards total: one unconscious from the explosion, one dead, thanks to Naruto, a driver, an escort, and three reaching for various weapons as the target jumped into the limo. The squeal of tires and the smell of burning rubber was their only welcome as the car began to pull away.

"Sasuke!" Naruto yelled, pointing at the car, and then ducking behind a concrete barrier as shots rang out from the leftover thugs.

"I'm on it!" Sasuke answered, already sprinting behind the vehicle, focusing his chakra into his legs and feet as he prepared for his jump.

A moment later, he hit the top of the vehicle with a thud, anchoring himself to the roof just over the driver's seat. The car began to swerve wildly as the driver furiously spun the wheel, trying to dislodge him, but the chakra in his feet held him steady. Just as he began to consider his next move, a bullet screeched through the metal roof and went whizzing right past his face. Sasuke leapt forward, completing a rolling flip to land squarely on the hood of the vehicle, facing the driver, who reached for the pistol in his jacket, too late. In a blur of motion too quick for the man to see, Sasuke put two bullets through the windshield and into his skull.

The sound of shattered glass was followed by a shrill horn as the driver fell forward against the steering wheel. Both were suddenly succeeded by the crash of compressed metal as the car smashed into a concrete barrier and came to an immediate stop. Sasuke was thrown from the hood and hit the ground rolling, already wheeling back around as the back door opened and the target began to scramble out. Before the man had even cleared the portal, Sasuke bolted forward, covering the distance in an instant and kicking the door shut so that it bashed his head against the side of the vehicle.

Groaning, the man fell to the ground, holding his head in pain. Sasuke grabbed his collar roughly and pressed the muzzle of his pistol into his forehead.

"Got any more bright ideas, pal?" Sasuke asked. When no answer came, Sasuke hauled the man to his feet. "No? Then let's get moving. You've got a long trip back to the Land of Iron."

When he made it back to Naruto, his friend was tying up the last of the thugs.

"Thanks for the help," Naruto muttered sarcastically as he tightened the cord. "I actually had to throw my gun at this last one because I ran out of ammo."

"If you hit what you shot at every time, you wouldn't need so many bullets," Sasuke answered as he threw his prize to the ground.

"Hey, you know most of my shots hit what they're supposed to!" Naruto quipped. "I just like to be…"

"Thorough?" Sakura's voice asked through the headset.

"Exactly!" Naruto grinned.

"Fine, let me rephrase," Sasuke sighed, tossing his friend another cartridge. "If you dropped the guy in one, you wouldn't have to make sure he was dead."

Naruto deftly caught the twirling magazine, scowling. "Hey, usually I would have a partner to help me out! … Now where did I drop my rifle…"

"Unbelievable."

"Come on, boys," Sakura interrupted before Sasuke could make things worse. "Let's just bring the guy in for- Watch out! The docks!"

Both men whipped their heads around toward the water as the bodyguard that had been knocked out by the explosion- or had been faking it- got to his feet and took aim.

"Move!" Sakura's voice crackled through the radio.

They dove apart just as the burst shot was fired, and the bullets passed harmlessly between them. Sasuke raised his head cautiously from behind cover to take a shot, but the thug was already on the move, running behind a storage unit out of Sasuke's line-of-sight in the direction that Naruto had gone as the latter sprinted toward his discarded pistol on the ground about twenty meters away.

Sasuke clenched his teeth, biting back a curse as he vaulted over his cover and ran to intercept them. He could see that Naruto wasn't going to make it to the gun in time, and that their enemy was going to have a clear path to Naruto before Sasuke had one to him. He could tell that Naruto realized this as well, but there was no cover between him and his pistol, so he had to keep going.

"Naruto, fall back!" Sasuke called out from perhaps ten meters behind.

"It's going to be close either way, I can make it!" Naruto responded, gritting his teeth.

"I don't have a shot!" Sasuke yelled, but he could tell it was too late. They were committed now. He cursed under his breath. "Sakura, take him out!"

"He's in my blind spot, too!" She answered. Sasuke could envision her biting her lip even through the radio. She often did so when concentrating or anxious. "Kakashi-sensei!"

"I'm too far out!" Kakashi answered from his spot on the perimeter where he had been stationed to cover escape routes and watch for backup. "Naruto–"

"I got it!" Naruto answered, skidding to a stop as the thug made it to the end of the storage unit. Naruto whipped his arm forward and the ammo clip Sasuke had given him screamed through the air, hitting their enemy square in the jaw. He cursed in pain and his shot went wild. Naruto dove for the pistol and rolled into a crouch with the gun leveled directly at the man's head. Fired. Too late! As he came up with his gun, the man had recovered and also taken aim. His burst-fire pistol sent three bullets straight at Naruto.

Sasuke still couldn't see the man, he was just around the corner about five meters ahead and to the left. He saw Naruto take the shot, and heard the answering burst from the other side of the storage unit. Time seemed to slow as Sasuke's sharingan burned to life, twisting into the elliptical pattern of his mangekyou. With his enhanced perception, he saw the smoking shots clear his side of the divide.

Please make it in time!

In a fraction of a second, Sasuke released three shots. They streaked forward, coming in perpendicular to the firefight between Naruto and their enemy. All three hit their targets, lead against lead, just as Naruto's shot tore through flesh and bone, boring straight between the man's eyes.

Six bullets clattered to the ground off to Naruto's right as their foe's body slumped to the floor.

Naruto whistled softly. "Nice shot. Thanks for the save."

"Sure," Sasuke panted as he sank to his knees. He grimaced in pain and covered his eyes with his hands. The mangekyou still took a heavy toll on them.

He froze as he recognized a distinct click behind him and felt the muzzle of a gun against the back of his head.

"Drop the gun, tough guy," their target threatened. He must have used the commotion to find a gun somewhere. "You too, blondie, or I'll blow his head off!"

Naruto slowly came to a stand, holding his gun steady, aimed at the captor. He knew that, if he dropped his gun, the man would simply shoot them both and think he could walk. Hostage situations got very messy very quickly if you didn't realize that the hostage-taker was just as trapped as the one he took hostage.

"You really don't want to do that," Naruto said. Not a threat. A warning. If the man had realized what he was up against, he may have reconsidered. If he had seen the second shot that had simultaneously struck the other man, he may have simply given up. "We're not the only ones here. There's no possible scenario where you just walk away from this. There's no reason to keep fighting."

"I said drop the gun!" Their target fired a warning shot in the air.

"No, he's right," Sasuke said, somewhat less tactfully. "You're worth money dead or alive."

"Don't you threaten me!" He yelled as he smacked Sasuke in the back of the head with the butt of the gun, knocking his headset to the ground. "I'm in control, here! Now drop the fucking gun, blondie!"

Sasuke clenched his teeth, resisting the urge to rub the back of his head, not wanting to set the guy off. He could hear Sakura's concerned voice crackling through his earpiece on the ground.

"Alive was preferred," Sasuke said, stalling for time, "but–"

"SHUT UP!" The man hit Sasuke again, then waved his gun at Naruto. "Three seconds before I decorate the pavement with his brains, kid!"

Blood was pumping hard in Sasuke's ears. His head was ringing from the blows. Sounds were distorted as his heart raced and his perception was fueled by adrenaline, catching every detail as time unraveled.

Naruto pleading with their target to give up before they had to kill him.

Sakura's muffled screaming from the headset.

"THREE!"

Kakashi's muffled answer.

"TWO!"

Naruto's final warning.

"ONE!"

Sakura's frantic voice.

A sharp crack! broke through the chaos and time resumed as blood splattered against the concrete.

Sasuke rubbed his head gingerly and got to his feet. He released a frustrated breath as he looked down at their target's corpse.

"Alive was preferred, but my wife is the sharpest sniper in the Land of Fire. I think you caused her some concern."

Sakura pulled the bolt-action lever up, back, forward, down, in one smooth motion. She brushed the stubborn strand of hair that refused to be contained in a ponytail out of her face and tucked it behind her ear, then looked back through the scope.

"That's the last one," she reported. "We're done here."

Thanks for reading! I hope to have two more chapters of Crimson Christmas for this holiday season (hopefully on time, unlike last year, haha), and if I get anything else up in the meantime, that's just a bonus! I'd love to hear your comments on this, and I'd love it if you checked out any of my other stories! Hard to believe that i've been posting fanfics here for over five years! Hopefully I've become a bit better as a writer, despite spending all my time in mathematics and physics, haha. Thank you again for reading! Have a great weekend!

-UchihaRyken