Disclaimer: Characters from Twilight and Vampire Kisses do not belong to me, they belong to the goddesses of literature Stephenie Meyer and Ellen Schreiber.

Bella Swan was a smart, independent mortal that lives in a small town named forks where she stays with her father, Charlie. She enjoyed the classics like Wuthering Heights and Pride And Prejudice.

On the other hand Raven Madison was a reckless teenage Goth girl who resides in the cookie cutter house bombarded Dullsville with her hippie parents Sarah and Paul, along with her nerdy little brother, Billy. You see, Raven gets poor grades, is hated by almost everybody and has a freak obsession with vampires.

It was a bright Friday afternoon and Raven Madison knew there was no way she could visit her vampire-mate Alexander Sterling when the sun was high in the sky. It was one of those days when her only girlfriend, Becky drags her to the mall.

Raven Madison stopped dead in her tracks. "Look! I'm naked!" she shouted and everyone turned to look at her. "I like toast!"

As they continued their way through the mall, people were gawking and whispering about the black clad nuisance and her farm girl partner. Becky dragged Raven into Victoria's Secret. As Becky headed for perfume and lip-gloss, Raven stuck a price tag on her face and sat under some sexy thongs, staring at people.

Some fat dude came up to the rack Raven was sitting under and started looking through the panties. Then he looked down at her, his chin bouncing as he spoke.

"Do you think there are any of these in my size?" he asked her.

All of a sudden Raven screamed at the top of her lungs. "Mommy!" she yelled and ran off to find Becky. A few seconds later, a store clerk that looked a total whore came over to the obnoxious girls and kicked them out of the store.

"Yeah screw you too!" Raven yelled but turned happy again when she saw Santa and ran straight up to him, butting in line in front of eight angry little toddlers as their mommies and daddies gave her a disapproving look.

"Hey Santa!" Raven said to the fat guy, giving him a hug. "Would you like to sit on my lap?"

"Uh…security!" Santa yelled and for the second time today, she was kicked out.

Raven, with tears streaming down her cheeks, took off towards her favorite store in the world, Hot Gothics. "I'm gonna hide out in Hot Gothics because I hate the world and no one understands my pain!"

And with that Raven entered the ghoulish little store. Some guy wearing a fishnet bra with nipple rings was checking her out. She ran up to him for the hell of it and slapped his ass.

He winked at her and exited the store. Raven made her way to the back where the corsets and skirts were located.

And there it was. Raven swore as soon as she laid her eyes on it the angels started singing. She decided to add a little sound effect herself.

"Hallelujah! Hallelujah!" Raven sang so loud that she got some menacing looks from a few stuck up Emo girls. "Oh go slit your wrists and fall in a ditch, you little Klondikes"

One of them scoffed and tried to spit in her eye, but failed miserably and ended up spitting on the floor otherwise. "Haha, sucker."

It was a beautiful corset. It was the perfect clubbing attire for her next trip to The Coffin Club. It was red and clack and checkered, with little studs hanging off at the seams."

There was one more Medium, which was Raven's exact size. She grabbed for it just as someone else did. Raven looked at her.

The girl was about Raven's age, long haired brunette. She had pale skin and was dressed in black skinny jeans, converse, and a red and black striped hoodie.

"Who the hell are you?" Raven barked.

She didn't let go of the skirt. "My name is Bella Swan and I would appreciate it if you let go of this lovely corset so I can purchase it and be on my way."

"Oh no! This is mine, I was here first." Raven told her off.

"I don't think so." she smirked. "I'm Gother than you, so fuck off!"

"Is that so?" Raven challenged. "Well I'm so Goth my black is blacker than your black. I call it black black."

"Oh yeah? I'm so Goth I wear sunglasses when I open the refrigerator." Bella added back.

"I'm so Goth I don't use fabric softener." Raven said in a scary voice. "Because I like the pain."

The argument continued and a few Goths and Emos crowded around to listen in and laugh at their retardedness.

Bella: I'm so Goth little kids are mesmerized by my appearance.

Raven: I'm so Goth I are a happy meal because I like to live dangerous.

Bella: I'm so Goth I punched a care bear.

Raven: I'm so Goth I practice my blank stare in the mirror.

Bella: I'm so Goth I was adopted by the Addams family.

Raven: I'm so Goth I know what PVC stands for.

Bella: I'm so Goth I sleep UNDER my bed.

Raven: I'm so Goth that bats hang little plastic me's from their ceiling.

Bella: I'm so Goth, crucifixes shudder when I walk by.

Raven: I'm so Goth I don't laugh...I cackle.

Bella: I'm so Goth I scare myself.

Raven: I'm so Goth my dead cat smokes cloves.

"Shut the hell up!" one of the cashiers yelled at the immaturity. But they could care a lot less.

Bella: I'm so Goth all I do is sit around and talk about how Goth I am.

Raven: I'm so Goth I'm dead.

Bella: I'm so Goth I was born wearing eyeliner.

Raven: I'm so Goth, whenever I walk into a room, all the lights go out.

Bella: I'm so Goth I don't eat gummy bears, I eat glummy bears.

Raven: I'm so Goth I shower with bleach instead of soap

Bella: I'm so Goth I only eat things that are burnt, because they're black.

The crowd clapped and cheered. They were split into two sides and apparently Raven had a bigger cheering crowd. Raven smirked with gloat.

Raven: I'm so Goth I spend hours deciding what shade of black to wear.

Bella: I'm so Goth I know how to spell Siouxsie & The Banshees correctly.

Raven: I'm so Goth my car wears a fishnet bra.

Bella: I'm so Goth, when someone sneezes I say, "Goth bless you!"

Raven: I'm so Goth I eat Unlucky Charms.

Bella: I'm so Goth I have to wear sunglasses and sunscreen to look on the bright side.

Raven: I'm so Goth that when I smile people ask me what's wrong.

"I've had it!" yelled a fat guy that apparently worked at the store. He dragged us by our collars and threw us out the door.

"Stupid kids!" he yelled and shut doors to the store to keep us out.

"It was so your fault!" yelled Raven at Bella. "Hey wanna go get some ice cream?"

"Sure." Bella agreed.

And with that the two Goths walked off for their ice cream. They walked up to the counter where a hooker was taking orders.

"I'll have a chocolate scoop." Raven said and they handed her the sweet treat and she started eating it.

"I'll have a chocolate too." Bella added.

"Sorry kid, we're all outta chocolate." the slut answered.

"All." Bella growled at Raven. "Outta. CHOCOLATE?"

Bella attacked Raven for her ice cream, sending her to the floor. Ice cream all over the two girls. The girls wrestled and yelled on the floor until Raven was able to gain her composure.

Raven, the cone in hand, smashed it down Bella's shirt. "Who's the Goth now?"

And with that Becky found Raven and Mall Security kicked them both out.