AN: Trash Talk'n is for the most part a one shot. It started life as a writing prompt, and well it turned into this. Nothing big or flashy. Just having a little creative writing fun. BTW Frenzy was not hurt in the writing of this fic, though his life was repeatedly threatened from all involved parties. Barricade has since taken all energy drinks away from the little furious freak. He has also changed his coffee to decaf… Good luck, to you Barricade.
The black/white Decepticon and the yellow/black Autobot always seemed to have unfinished business. Today's meeting was no different than any other meeting Bumblebee and Barricade had, they had unfinished business. It always played out the same. Different days, different places but it was still the same old thing. Maybe today one was going to finally best the other one and once and for all end the entire unfinished business bit.
The yellow and black striped Camaro come whipping in aft end first, sliding to a stop a dangerous mere foot from the black and white Interceptor. True to his nature Barricade sat still not letting Bumblebees wild antics unhinge his composure. What did bother him was to spot the large black Topkick sitting in the maw of the entrance / exit of the blind alley. He knew though the Autobots were honorable, so he really did not think Ironhide was there out of ill will.
"You bring the track debris?" Barricade ask.
Ironhide rolled on in to unblock the drive. "No. I am not the work horse here. Just tagging along to make sure you two slags keep it fair."
Barricade spilled something from his trunk subspace as his frame began breaking apart and reforming him into a bi-ped robot form.
"Ironhide you certainly don't think much of your own comrade."
Bumblebee belched out orange traffic cones, as he and Ironhide frames distorted and began the process of reforming.
"Actually I was referring to you and that fragger Frenzy." Ironhide growled as his canons finished up his transformation.
"I am hurt you would think of me as slag." Barricade discharged Frenzy who immediately went to work trash talking in his native Cybertronian tongue.
Ironhide casually pointed a canon in his direction, sighting down its barrel like it might need to be cleaned.
Frenzy instantly went still.
"Now, you little amped up gremlin why don't you burn that sugar rush and lay the course."
Frenzy grumbled but he began with what Barricade had brought to the course.
Bumblebee thought suspiciously it looked like a bench from the Witwicky household, as so apparently did Ironhide. Assuming that was what that look was for.
"A bench?" Ironhide ventured.
"You'd have been pissed if I brought an actual human." Barricade replied nonchalantly.
"From the Witwicky household?"
Barricade shrugged a massive shoulder. "See you would have come undone if I had brought an actual Witwicky human."
Waiting a beat Barricade added. "The femme creator wields an evil little stick she refers to as a ball bat."
Ironhide snorted and chuckled at that.
Bumblebee rolled his optics. They really had no idea. That woman could do some wicked stuff with that bat. He rubbed at the dent on his posterior.
Barricade growled a chuckle and offered Ironhide a fist tap. To which the Topkick snorted and bumped his own fist to Barricades.
Yeah they knew, bunch afts.
Ironhide used his canon to sight the bench and cones Frenzy had so haphazardly scattered into an obstacle course.
"You know Barricade. If you would stop putting Red Bull in that little fraggers energon he wouldn't be so torqued."
"NOS. I started using NOS the little slag got to the point he was more fractious than even I."
Now it was Bumblebees turn to snort. He definitely had to try that on… And then again maybe not. He let his optics slid on past Ironhide who was now watching him, to see what Frenzy had done with the bench.
Bee threw his shoulders up gesturing at where Frenzy had chosen to place the bench.
Frenzy's rude gestures indicated he was willing to let the Cameo put the bench where he wanted it, if he was not pleased where he had it.
Ironhide shook his helm as the three of them began swapping trash talk.
There was offers to swap paint, sooner rather than waiting until later.
"You go 'Bee." Ironhide growled. He liked how Bumblebee suggested Frenzy take one of those orange traffic cones and go- hmm never mind. He certainly would not be taking any of the cones back personally himself.
Maybe it did paid to let Bumblebee run with the wreckers, at least just a little bit. As long as he didn't use that back talking trash on him. Ironhide would personally put a knot in his tail pipe, if it come to that.
"Ready." Bumblebee chirped.
"Ladies first." Barricaded flicked his hand out to Bumblebee.
"Age before beauty." Bumblebee clipped out.
"Will both of fraggers shut up and get on the starting line." Ironhide rumbled.
"Quite fooling around with your gearbox, and hit the line numb nodes."
Ironhide eyed Bumblebee. Well that was new one on him and he knew plenty of expletives.
"Aw stuff it up your reactor linkage."
Barricade stretched falling back into his terrestrial form beside the already transformed Bumblebee.
Ironhide hoisted a canon skyward. "On three."
More than once Ironhide had to put his hand on the overactive Frenzy to keep him from bouncing out into the path of Bumblebee and Barricade with all the chattering. Next time he was going to send Jazz to keep an optic on the amped up trio. At least he could keep up with that gangly chatter 'bot.
He thought just maybe he needed to recommend to Barricade to stop letting him have human energy drinks. It was a wonder anyone could stand him. He certainly couldn't.
Third lap around the paint swapping official began, flecks of paint was flying as freely as the dust, rubber, and the insults.
Even Ironhide was getting in on the action, yelling at Frenzy every time he had to tug the bouncing stick 'bot back from the path of one of the oncoming racers.
Ironhides com buzzed. He knew it could or at least should be only one of two 'bots. What the pit he thought as he answered the com and scolded Frenzy.
"Aw, go ding your diodes and get defunct, you're not helping."
There was beat of silence. It drew on before finally a voice responded.
"I will scramble your circuits so bad you'll need a GPS scanner to find your own exhaust port! Ironhide." The link broke connecting Ratchet to Ironhide.
Frenzy the little freak was rocking back and forth on his heels excited by the potential of whatever the slag Ironhide was about to stir up with Ratchet.
"Forget it you little fragger, 'come on Bumblebee funs over. We've been summoned. Oh and Ratchet is probably pissed."
Probably? Frenzy thought. It was times like this he missed the constant friendly strife between Ratchet and Ironhide. Now those two were professional trash talkers.