I had originally left out these chapters because it messed with the flow of my story, Whiter Shade of Pale. But here they are in case any of my followers wanted them. I assure you these chapters will make zero sense without reading the previous story, so I suggest people starting there. Thanks!
Here is the rest of my story, and I'm posting the first of two parts today in honor of the breakup and the starting over that we saw this Sunday with Rumplestiltskin and Belle. Over Bae. :)
And while season 2 appears to be making Bae and Emma appear to be a former item, I still like the idea that I will now present and I have yet to see it play out in anyone else's fanfiction. So here is to Regina's new life and possibly love!
***
Rumplestiltskin, or rather Mr. Gold as he went by outside of Storybrooke, was sitting all alone at a bar. With his third shot of whiskey. His name ought to be Mr. Poor now, since his last bit of money had just been spent on those three shots of whiskey.
He had spent everything he owned. All the properties in Storybrooke had been sold, to various residents, those too foolish or too stubborn to leave. Mostly for under market value, if Mr. Gold wanted to be technical, but he supposed it was only fair that he was considerate of people's financial status. He after all had determined that about most of the townspeople's lives.
It had still amounted to a pretty fair sum of money. But all the money hadn't gotten him what he really wanted. His son. Even in an era of digital technology, he had come up with nothing. He couldn't know where his son had dropped or even what his name was. His son obviously didn't go by Baelfire anymore and with no location of origin and nothing but a sketch of his son at age 12, he had no luck.
As much as he hated the idea, his options were this. Throw himself off a bridge somewhere, bum on the street or crawl back to Storybrooke and those who hated him, but at least wouldn't let him starve. At least Emma hopefully wouldn't.
And he was still a prideful coward, so none of those options were looking promising.
"It's all my fault and I can't fix it. Never." He moaned to the bartender.
"Never say never." A voice spoke behind him. "Then you'd be going back on a promise, when you succeed."
The voice sounded very familiar. But it couldn't be. Mr. Gold turned quickly almost falling off the stool.
It was. Belle.
She looked different. She was wearing tennis shoes, torn jeans and a dressy shirt. Long earrings dangled from pierced ears. She looked comfortable, but classy and not angry at him.
"You are an easy man to find, Mr. Gold." She smiled, emphasising his name. "One has merely to follow the smell of desperation and a trail of money."
Mr. Gold sighed, his pride already wounded. "I thought you said you were never speaking to me again."
Belle smiled. "Good thing I'm not known for my keeping my promises." It was a smile of pity and sadness. And wounded pride.
"What are you here for?" Mr. Gold muttered bitterly. "Not that it isn't great to see you..." He added quickly. "It's just...well if you are here merely to verbally abuse me and rub my failings in my face, I can stand the not talking."
Hurt flashed across Belle's face. "Is that what you think this is?"
Mr. Gold frowned. "It isn't?"
Belle shook her head no aggressively. She pulled out a newspaper clipping from her purse. She laid it on the table in front of him.
Mr. Gold studied the paper. It was a two month old article from the New York Times society page. The headline stated, Prize Throughbred, Shadowchaser, ridden to the rescue at local countryside gala.
A picture of what looked to be Regina Mills in the most incredible dress, sitting dress hiked up and sitting bareback on a horse, a 16 year old girl, being held up by her arm, passed out.
The article went to describe the rescue in detail and that the family had been anything, but understanding. A lawsuit was under-way and Regina had been fired from her high society fashion job. And her wealthy boyfriend had broken things off when she had told the horse's wealthy owner where to stick it.
"She sounds miserable." Mr. Gold muttered. "All over again."
Belle smiled. "Are you kidding? She hated that job. She hated her employer and her boyfriend of the week."
Mr. Gold frowned. "Have you been following her?"
Belle sheepishly nodded. "From a distance. I didn't want to interfere."
She pulled out another article. It read, "I'd do it again." It was a quick blurb, after Regina had apparently lost the lawsuit. When asked if she would do it again or do anything differently, considering the consequences, it quoted Regina as having said, "Next time, I'll wear underwear under my fancy dress."
Mr. Gold sadly chuckled. "That sounds like Regina. Still enjoying making people squirm."
He moved the last swallow of whiskey around in the glass. "Guess that makes two penniless people."
Belle smiled. "But she is happy, finally."
Mr. Gold raised an eyebrow.
"She may be living in the tiniest flat in New York, up to her eyeballs in debt. But she has finally found a job she likes. And she is engaged." Belle clarified.
Mr. Gold mused on that. Regina in love again. Miracles did happen it seemed. "To whom?"
"Does it matter?" Belle shrugged. "They are happy. They seem great for each other. They had been friends for several years already and he is great for her."
"Do you know him?" Mr. Gold asked curiously. It sounded from Belle's voice like she did.
"I met him 4 years ago. He is a great guy. He knows what it is like to have to fight to be a better man everyday. That even the kindest of people, can fall to temptation. To feel like they could fix things if only they had more power. That anyone can be become the Dark One." Belle's smiled faded and she met his eyes seriously.
Mr. Gold sighed. "Wait? What?" He raised his eyes.
He grabbed Belle's shoulders. "How old is he?"
Belle met his eyes fiercely. "7 years older than Regina. And 12 years older than Emma. So 45."
"And where did he grow up?" He pushed.
Belle continued her stern gaze. "He has lived in New York since he was 18. But he lived on a farm in Pennsylvania since he was 12. Where he was found lying in a pigsty one morning. An event, he avoids speaking about." She softly spoke the last few words. "I could go on."
Mr. Gold paled. "Do you think that he is Baelfire?"
Belle nodded. She unfolded a copy of the sketch that Mr. Gold had posted around of 12 year old Baelfire. Then she set a photo down a middle age man who matched his physical description, in a EMT uniform. Bae was always taking care of him and he certainly wasn't afraid of blood or battle. It seemed like a career he would have chosen.
Mr. Gold squinted. The still rather handsome middle age man looked happy, his smile genuine, showing through his eyes. Mr. Gold covered most of the face, staring at only the eyes.
It had been so long. Mr. Gold wasn't sure.
"Have you been looking the whole time?" He asked Belle with surprise.
Belle shook her head.
"The real question is what are you going to do about it?" She asked very seriously.
Mr. Gold was silent. He stared at the two images.
"You know him, at least a little. Do you think that he would be better off seeing me? Reconnecting?" Mr. Gold asked nervously.
Belle shrugged, but smiled. "Maybe."
She leaned in closer, dangerous fire in her eyes. "But would Regina be better off? Knowing he was your son?"
Mr. Gold frowned.
He had crossed time and space and perhaps even realms of existence to find a son. A son whom he had lost, but who wasn't even his. Not really. He had always known that he wasn't really Bae's father. But still he had loved him fiercely, and he had fought tooth and nail to have him near him again. He had screwed so many people's lives in his desperation. Especially Regina's. His own real and true flesh and blood. His great, great, great, great, great granddaughter.
Most of all Regina's.
"Probably not." He answered truthfully and sorrowfully.
And here his son was. Rumplestiltskin was sure that Belle was right. He trusted her instincts. So close and yet so far.
He folded the piece of paper and handed back the photo. "I don't think this is him. The similarities are there, but I don't think this is him." He said it without conviction however and Belle didn't believe he really thought that.
"So you aren't even going to pursue this lead?" Belle asked, raising an eyebrow.
Mr. Gold shook his head. He could be a bigger man...he could.
"Not worth it, in the long run. Why mess with Regina's happiness on a vague possibility?"
And suddenly Belle was kissing him. Without his magic, there was no way to see if it was true love's kiss. There was no curse to eliminate. He would never again be sure of the depth of her affection as he had known that moment in his castle. There was no magical transformation. There was no fireworks, no bells ringing. There was just her warm lips on his. For the first time, he responded back.
If he had to know about his son through Belle, so be it.
If you loved someone, sometimes you had to let them go. Because it was best for them at that moment.
But maybe one day...
Rumplestiltskin's last thought was cut short by another kiss.
***
Mayor Emma heard the motorbike pull up into the driveway and she knew something was wrong. Henry was not due back from college yet, yet here he was.
"August!" She yelled running across Regina's old, newly restored mansion. "Henry's here... And I think that he's hurting."
NYC had done two things. Helped Henry and Regina forge a new and gentler, more stable relationship, and it had made him angry and bitter. But those two things did not go together. The later was because of Carrie. Just as Emma always suspected, Henry did not fall into relationships easily, but when he did, he played for keeps.
New York was full of bitter and lost women. Emma knew this. And Henry seemed to be attracted to those kind, yearning to be that which brought them love and acceptance.
And he was becoming a psychologist, which Emma was sure was not making it any better. The only good thing that came from that was that Henry had the sense to see a relationship bringing him down in flames and would finally have the sense to break it off.
Carrie, the beautiful, but tragic artist, had however been the first to break it off with him and Henry on the phone had sounded like he wasn't taking it well.
"Mommy! Henry slammed the door."
Emma shushed her tattling little girl of 6. "I know. I know. And I will talk to him about it." She handed her kid a coloring book. "Why don't you color Henry a picture?"
The blondie smiled. "With all his favorite colors." She loved coloring, so she ran off to the other room.
Emma closed her eyes and took a deep breath and sat down at the kitchen counter.
"It gets easier with practice, doesn't it?" Henry mumbled and smiled weakly at her. "See, you are doing just fine. She felt accepted, was given a purposeful task and I am not going to get away with breaking a rule, so all is well in her world." He gave a half smile.
Emma smiled back. Henry loved his little sister. She had been afraid when she and August had her that Henry would feel jealous or second best. But he was more worried about the little girl feeling the same way. Emma laughed, thinking of this.
"What?" Henry sighed.
"Nothing, just remembering the early years. I seriously did not know what I was doing. You were a big help." Emma smiled. How Henry had grown so since then. And not just in height, though he was tall and firmly built. A real catch, physically and otherwise.
Henry gave a smile back, but it soon faded. "Carrie and I are over."
Emma gave him a compassionate smile. "I figured from the early trip back home, and your angst and surely demeanour."
Henry gave a deep sigh. He looked up at the ceiling and placed his helmet on the counter. "I thought about her all the time and I still do. She made me smile and I did the same for her. But most of all, she was the only one to read my rough draft of the storybook and not think I was crazy. She saw it as a metaphor at first, a childhood tale second, and when she happened to meet Regina, she wouldn't talk for weeks. Then she came back with a picture. Straight out of the storybook. It looked so much like the ones in the book, like they were drawn by the same hand."
Henry paused and swallowed hard. Tears escaped. Emma placed her hand on his, like she had done so many times before. Henry took a deep breath and continued. "Then she broke it off with me. She believed me, she supported me, but she refused to stay together. Because she isn't the 'right' woman for me or something. That she doesn't believe there is such a thing as true love or at least love that lasts."
Emma sighed and Henry handed her the picture, which he unfolded from his pocket. It was the image of Regina holding out a box, for Graham to put Snow White's heart in. It looked straight out of the book. But without the color.
"She heard the story from me, but she hasn't even seen this picture. And she just met Regina once. How could it be this perfect? If she isn't the one?"
August had entered the room during this and Emma handed him the picture.
"Maybe you remain good friends? Maybe she helps you make the book? That doesn't mean she has to be your one." He offered.
Henry put his head down on the table. "But I want it to be her. She is the person who understands me best. I love her, Pinocchio."
August stiffened. Henry never called him Pinocchio, per his request. Always August.
"Love or not, you need to go back for your exams. If it is meant to be, then it can wait until after then to resolve." August replied harshly. "Get your yourself together. Don't throw away a whole 4 years by skipping out on school now. Get your priorities straight here."
"August!" Emma yelled at him. The two men in her life rarely argued, but when they did it usually didn't end well.
Henry was going to jump in on the argument. But a small hand pulled on his coat. "Here is your picture, Henry. I colored it just for you."
Henry took the picture from his little sister. It was a well colored picture of a woman and a man dancing. Why she had selected his one, out of all the other animal and cityscapes in the generic coloring book, was beyond Emma. Perhaps she could sense he was not feeling loved.
This however was not helping. Henry placed it on the counter. "Thank you, Elise." But it was clear he was unhappy.
He stood and walked out. "I'm going on a walk."
As soon as he left, Emma dug into August. "He will go back, if you let him work through this. This isn't about his career, this is about his life. About love."
"And you don't think I understand this, that somehow I consider love lesser." August yelled back.
Elise began to sob and Emma turned her attention to her. "Hey, we aren't mad at you, baby girl."
"But you are mad at daddy and daddy is mad at Henry and I think Henry is mad at me." Elise sputtered.
Emma picked her up and put her on the counter. "Shh. Henry isn't mad at you. I promise. He is just sad and your picture reminded him of his sadness."
Elise continued to cry, but she placed her head on her mother's shoulder. Emma took a deep breath. Step one, acceptance, than purpose. She could do this.
"Hey, Henry likes..." she tried to think of something Henry liked that would not tear open old or new wounds right now. Henry usually managed just fine, but it was the times like this, that Emma was afraid. Afraid that the deep old wounds were going to do him under one day. "Henry likes ice cream. I think there was a picture of that in the book. Why don't you color that?" Emma suggested.
"Like brown and white, like Rocky Road?" Elise asked. Emma nodded nervously. She wasn't sure that was not going to make things worse either, but she couldn't think of anything else. Elise made motions to jump down and get started.
As soon as Elise was out of hearing range, Emma began to sob. August jumped to embrace her.
"I can't do this. I can't. Henry is still the glue holding this all together. He knows it and I know it. He needs someone to help him hold himself together. Why her? Why any of them?"
August sighed. "We both met Erin and Katie. When we moved him in or out each summer, he would introduce them to us. This one is different, I can feel it. He can feel it too. This is the one who loves him enough to let him go, instead of clinging to him. This is why it is so hard."
Emma inhaled August's scent. It comforted her. August and her were similar and yet different. Like they rubbed each other then wrong way and yet fit into each other's lives perfectly. Most days it was like this. The warm and comforting embrace instead of the wood on the fire.
It was work to avoid those moments, so they didn't set themselves emotionally on fire. But luckily, they were both willing to work at it. That was all Carrie needed. Commitment to the relationship on an emotional level.
Emma frowned. She had taken 3 years of the dance around to finally agree to marry August. And she was still afraid after all these years. Afraid she would screw something up. But then he had admitted that he worried about that too. All the time.
There was the sound of a car outside. Then a frantic knocking at the door. Emma raised an eyebrow and they both moved to the door. It was Carrie. She looked anxious. Her usual makeup was missing and her hair was greasy and had paint specks in it. Like she had rushed from doing art and hadn't bothered to change or shower.
"Hi, August, Emma. Where's Henry?" She looked around nervously. "I see his bike."
Emma frowned. "He went on a walk."
Carrie frowned and tossed her long auburn ponytail around looking about. "Which way?"
August shrugged. "Probably towards the woods and the playground out there. That's one of his usual hiding places."
Carrie nodded and bit her lip. She took off running in the direction that August had pointed. Then she ran full tilt past Snow, almost knocking her over. She turned to apologize and did a double take and blinked. Then she stopped in the middle of the street. She pulled out her phone and called someone.
There was ringing and ringing and it was clear she going to have to leave a voicemail.
"Henry...I know you are angry with me and I know you came up here, to your home, to be alone. But please come back. I hitched a ride all the way up here just to talk to you in person..."
She began to stumble over her words.
Emma and August exited the house and came into the street.
"It's just that...wow...it really does exist, just as you described it. It bleeds with artistic inspiration and you can almost feel the deep scars...and..." She began to tremble. She hung up the phone.
There was a great silence amongst those gathered. Carrie turned around. "Snow White?"
Snow flinched slightly, unsure how to address this question. She looked to David, who was coming around the corner holding a little girl's hand. A little girl who looked so much like Snow.
Carrie seemed past that point of caring about a response and turned back towards the woods. Henry was running back from the other side of town. He was out of breath when he stopped.
So before he could get a word in, Carrie, began rambling. "I know I said we couldn't be together. And yet 24 hours later, here I am. I...my parents...you had me at hello, with that stupid name tag. When I was miserable after my parents divorce, not that it shouldn't have happened, they shouldn't have been together in the first place... but...you saw me crying and told me that everyone has problems, some people just hadn't learn how to handle them. That I shouldn't dwell on what was wrong. But see what good could come from it. And then you took me to that party. And instead of your name, your wrote 'I have mommy issues,' on your nametag..." Carrie began to lightly sob. "And then you got everyone else to write stupid stuff like that, all their problems written on their chest...and suddenly I knew...I knew then, that I loved you. I also knew you loved me too. And I was afraid. Over time, I knew I could also destroy you. I was so afraid that I would. Every fight we'd have...I would wonder if this was it... I didn't want you to need me."
Henry raised a hand and tried to cut off the stream of confessions silently, but Carrie continued on.
"And then when I broke things off, I told you I didn't need you, you didn't say anything at first. Then you yelled 'of course you don't.' But then when you left in anger, I realized that didn't matter. When I was taking down my art show yesterday alone, I managed just fine without you, just as I had before you. When I told Regina that, she told me that you helped me carry my art to shows, not because I needed the help, but because you wanted to help me. And I remembered. Would you like the help, you would always ask? Not, do you need the help?" Carrie took a deep breath. " I realized last night that, that was perhaps the most romantic thing I could ever want to hear... And I do. Want the help."
She looked like she was going to say more, but Henry cut her off with a sweeping kiss, cupping his hands around her jaw and she grabbing his back. Storybook epic, Emma thought.
He broke it apart. "Now, I can't promise that I won't hurt you or..." She began.
"Would you like to help me with my storybook?" He asked with a grin.
"I'd love to." Carrie sighed with a smile.
Elise ran out of the house and up to the two of them. "Here is your new picture, big brother. Rocky Road ice cream. Your favorite."
Henry grinned. "Indeed. Sometimes the truth is in the name. Sometimes the things you have to work for, taste the sweetest."
Elise frowned in confusion. "Plus, it has marshmallows in it." He smiled at her. She grinned back. "Shall we have some Rocky Road ice cream then?" He asked her.
"Before dinner?" Elise's eyes widened. She looked at Emma and August.
Emma smiled. "I think we can break the rule just this once, eh? For a special occasion." Elise grinned and ran inside, pulling Henry and Carrie with her. Snow and David's younger daughter, Marie, squealed. "Me too?" David chuckled and nodded, leading her inside.
Snow walked around the no longer running car and turned to the woman in the car. "I thought you said you were never coming back here again."
Regina smiled gently. She opened the door and stepped out of the car."One should never say never. You'll end up finding a perfectly good reason to break your promise." She fingered the engagement ring on her left finger with a smile. She also had sworn once that she would never love again. Yet, she had broken that one, over and over again. Thankfully.
Snow watched her subconsciously twist her ring and bit her lip.
"Oh, ask already. Once a nosy little girl, always a nosy little girl." Regina sighed with a smile.
Snow blushed. "People change sometimes."
Regina raised her eyebrow.
"Okay, you're right, this time." Snow licked her lips nervously. Regina suddenly saw a 12 year old girl once again, instead of a woman in her late 30's. "Like what does he do? His name? How did you meet? When did you know?" Snow fluttered. "Are you going to bring him here, one day?"
Regina growled. "Don't push it, Snow."
Snow apologised. "Of course, how silly. I'd probably just make a mess of this one too..."
The old guilt still remained. Of course it did, she had pretty much burned it in with great amounts of malice. "Shut up, Snow." Regina barked. Then she sighed.
"His name is Richard, but everyone calls him Ricky. He's an EMT. We met on the subway, one morning when my car was stolen. He is all about seeing the best part of the situation and he makes me that way too. He has suffered loneliness in this life and yet he needs his space, just like me. I knew that I was in love, when I was telling a story about him that was not at all funny to Henry and he laughed. I demanded to know what was funny and he told me I was grinning like an idiot the whole way through the story." Regina bit her lip, trying not to smile once again.
Regina met Snow's eyes. "And I'm not bringing him here, because I don't want to mess this up. I'm not the person I was here, not any more. Why bring it up? I can't lose this too. I'm not strong enough, Snow."
Regina looked back at the front of the restored manor house. The one she had lived in for 29 years. Longest she had ever lived anywhere. Emma and August in the front lawn ushering everyone in for usually forbidden ice cream. A sudden pang of regret and longing hit her and she blinked. Her own guilt. She covered. "We've got to go back. Henry has exams, I hear."
"Come in. Stay for ice cream at least." Snow urged. Regina hesitated. "It isn't my house any more."
"But it still is your home." Snow protested sweetly, with a smile.
Regina sighed. She accepted the truth of this. And the two of them walked into the house together.
After all, Rocky Road was her favorite ice cream too.