Too many people who play TMNT and Other Strangeness seem to treat it like the 80s Cartoon and often get killed. In this tongue and cheek story/lesson I make fun of both those kinds of players and a Character I really hate Cody Jones I mean no offense to anyone who actually likes that characters but he offends me on so many profound levels, however since in my Universe Cody Jones is so not cannon (Similar to MNT Gaiden Casey and April adopt Shadow but her origin story is a bit different from the comics) Also so not to piss off actual fans of Cody Jones I decided to instead make the victim an icon from the 90s that I feel is similar to Cody in that 'Too-Cool-For-School' Kid Archetype Kid Vid from the Burger King Kids Club (You remember Those Guys don't you Kids from the 90s?) And so with a more acceptable punching bag a Tale of Hubris so immense it would make Mikey cringe

In this Lesson we shall Learn how to not play TMNT and Other Strangeness like it's Jackass. Let's meet our Demo Character, this is Kid Vid, Kid Vid is a Mutant Mongrel Dog who was Mutated by an 'Accidental Encounter' with some 'Strange Stuff'

(Actually Kid Vid is actually a Human from another dimension who died on the operating table after one too many fast food hamburgers, Fauna the Goddess took pity on the poor boy's soul and gave him a 2nd chance at life by being reincarnated as an Animal but don't tell anyone that!)

So anyway Kid Vid enrolls at Leonardo's School of Martial Arts for Mutant Animals. After learning a few moves Kid Vid thinks he's ready to fight evil villains! Despite numerous warnings from the actual Heroes that's not how it works, Kid Vid blows them off, steals a katana from Leonardo's Dojo and steals a Space Cruiser from the Humanimals.

(It operates similar the Flying Cars he would drive in his previous life) and heads off to face the Wrangler Empire! However the Milky Way was not meant to be traversed in a mere Space Cruiser, Kid Vid finds he needs to stop to eat and...Do the business...He quickly finds and Intergalactic Truck Stop and parks his Space Cruiser next to the Diner. After his business in the 'Male Animal's Waste Evacuation Facility' Kid Vid seats himself at the bar and grabs a menu. The waitress may be a Human but she knows the difference between a Juvenile Humanimal and an Adult and says "You seem barely more than a Pup Hon, where's your Mom and Dad?"

Kid Vid bares his teeth...

Kid Vid hated any mention of 'parents' His parents had died when he was a baby and for as far back as he could remember his 'Managers' had taken care of him.

He scanned the menu for something to eat, even though Burgers were what caused his death after reincarnating as a Mutant Animal he had still been eating Burgers for most of his meals because he had eaten Burgers nearly his entire life...

However just thinking about Burgers today made his stomach rumble in an unpleasant way so he turned to the Waitress and said "I'll have a Diet Coke."

The Waitress filled a glass with soda and handed it to Kid Vid who sipped on it to alleviate his hunger pains.

"But seriously." Said the Waitress "How did a Humanimal Cub like yourself get so far into space?"

"I can drive." Kid Vid said between sips

"You must be quite the driving prodigy." The Waitress said

In Kid Vid's original world Kids can learn to drive when they're seven not that their ever in any real danger traffic is controlled by computers to prevent any accidents.

"Oh yeah!" Kid Vid said "I'm a real Space Hero! I'm out to stop the Wranglers!"

Kid Vid had no idea that at the booth behind him were two actual Wranglers, they were spies attempting to infiltrate the Federation.

"Ah." The Waitress said humoring Kid Vid "I presume you've met Matoaka Redfeather?"

"Met her?" Kid Vid laughed "I just talked with her a couple hours ago! I was telling her how I was gonna capture 100 Wranglers for her!"

The two Wranglers were utterly baffled by these bizarre claims they started communicating by secret gestures about what they should do with this strange Dog-Boy.

Kid Vid scanned the menu again for anything he wanted to eat finally he decided he would have the Soup of the Day which happened to be Chicken Noodle.

The Waitress nodded and left the two Wranglers left their table and crept toward the place where one of them could access the Space Station's computers.

He took a small device that resembled a metallic insect called a 'Hacker Bug' attached it to the piece of the computer and instructed it to only turn off the lights, not anything else in the space station like the air supply.

Kid Vid was already devouring his soup when the lights shut off, he heard various people screaming and before he had a chance to say "Who turned off the lights?" The two Wranglers snuck up from behind and one placed a rag with chloroform over his nose causing his to be knocked out.

The two Wranglers quickly made their way back to their vehicle with their prize, they hoped they would be able to get some juicy information out of this Dog-Boy

When the lights came back on, the Waitress quickly what had happened when she saw the abandoned half-eaten bowl of soup and half-drunk glass of soda

We resume the Adventures of Kid Vid, human boy turned Mutant Dog as he continues to play Hero like it's Jackass. This chapter is dedicated to one of my favorite settings for stories 'Greasy Spoon' type Diners and in particular Diners set in fantastical settings like Outer Space. In the admittedly less-than-stellar Tabletop RPG 'Truckin Turtles' Information about Diners are given for your players at the back of the book and one adventure called 'Burger Heaven' is all about a Saccharine Heaven Themed Burger restaurant that turns out to be Haunted by a Demonic Poltergeist