Luigi Compilation

It was the dawn of a new day in the Mushroom Kingdom, as the terrified screams of a young damsel in distress sounded throughout the land.

Yes, Bowser was up early this time, and as we all know, the early bird gets the worm! Or, in this case, the early Koopa gets the princess…

However, these cries of fear did not go unanswered.

THERE, in the horizon, two figures stood proudly. Well, actually, one stood proudly. The taller one was trying to catch his breath.

"Let the princess go, Bowser!"

"BWAHAHAHA, NEVER! I've always despised how she's praised you, but never me! Maybe when we spend some time together, she'll figure out who the true hero is! You'll never see her again, Mario! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

And, no kidnapping scene is complete without the princess helplessly screaming:

"MMMAAAARRRRIIIIOOO!"

Yeah, there it is.

Our two heroes followed after the Koopa King, but he hopped onto an airship, flying high above the kingdom and into the Dark Lands.

"Come on, Luigi! The princess won't save herself!"

Luigi inhaled deeply. "I know, but, I, just…Wait a second…"

"What?"

"The princess won't save herself? Didn't she save us that one time?"

"Yeah, but…"

"She did! So, why can't she save herself? Have you ever realized that we're sort of putting women at the lowest common denominator here? I mean, come on. She uses a parasol to attack, a frying pan to hit people, her final smash is dancing and making people fall asleep, and her greatest weapon is her butt."

"I don't…"

"If she's strong enough, she can save herself! Unless, she's only the sex symbol in this world. Just think about it. She offers you cake when you save her, but has the audience ever seen the 'cake' that she prepares?"

"Audience?"

"She could be having a secret romance with Bowser and you wouldn't know it."

"Luigi, shut up."

"But I'm making a valid point here! Peach is just weak!"

"Okay, I'm leaving."

"She never does anything really productive. And I'm starting to think that this 'cake' thing is just an innuendo."

"Goodbye, Luigi!"

"And I guess I can't complain because my final smash is dancing too."

"SHUT UP, LUIGI!"

"And I've always wondered where she pulls Toad out from. And why does he barf to attack? Does that mean that Toad is her baby?"

"THIS IS WHY YOU CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS!"

AND SO, with our heroes off on another adventure of EPIC proportions, there is only one thing left to ask:

Just how stupid can this fan fiction get?

Well, this is my third (?) try at a pure humor fic. And since I can't go an entire fan fiction without making some kind of innuendo or something, it'll stay T.

What have I just created?