What Should Have Happened in Breaking Dawn
Edward looked down at his perfectly manicured nails and grinned. It was finally the day that he had been waiting for for so long. Today was the day of his wedding to Bella, yet Edward didn't care about that. Today was the day he finally got to see Jacob again.
Edward sensed Jacob's presence nearby and read his thoughts quickly. Jacob's plan was definitely going to work, seeing as Bella wasn't a vampire yet. All she needed was a little prick on the finger and Edward could finally act on the wishes that had been haunting his dreams for the last 2 years. Killing that annoying little girl that he had allowed himself to get close so one day he could suck her blood.
And then Jacob had come into the picture. Their attraction was immediate, but they had been forced to hide it from Bella, whose own stupidity had launched her into the center of their inevitable romance by believing that both of them loved her and she loved both of them.
"So shallow," Edward whispered underneath his breath.
"Edward!" her whiny voice reached his ears and he cringed. What did she do now? Trip on air molecules?
"Yes, Bella, coming." He forced his voice to remain calm, knowing the composure he had kept around her for the last few years could deteriorate if he waited just five more minutes. The home stretch.
"My perfect angelic seraphim! I need help!" Edward rolled his eyes before stepping into the room Bella was waiting in. A look of pure disgust flitted across his face but he forced himself to smile as he took in the sight of Bella.
She just kept throwing herself at him, and it was getting annoying. Bella stood scantily clad in the center of the room on a pedestal. "Tonight's the night. You want some practice?" Edward began gagging in his mind. He wanted to lose the virginity he'd had for over a hundred years tonight, but not to her.
"Bella? Why don't we wait for tonight?" Edward walked over to Bella, and yanked her down from the pedestal. "Now, get dressed." She pouted silently at him and Edward forced himself to lean over and kiss her quickly.
Bella collapsed to the floor, unconscious. "Now this is getting flipping annoying." He considered kicking her but relented. Three more minutes of this torture and then ecstasy would begin. Life without a stupid human girl clinging to him.
Edward allowed her to lie there for a couple more seconds, then picked her up and blew his breath on her face. "So tantalizing…"
Like I haven't heard that before.
"Did you catch me?"
"Yes, Bella, I'll always catch you," Edward lied. The absolute bullocks spilling out of his mouth came so easily. Easier to make up complete spew after two whole years.
"Well, I've got to get ready so-"
"But you're so perfect. You don't need to get ready. You're so angelic and cold and granite and good smelly and you are just so beautiful."
At least Jacob could come up with better compliments than that. "Well, let me help you." In seconds, Edward had the dress on Bella and he pulled her out to the front room where everyone stood waiting before the wedding.
Edward's eyes met Jacob's quickly and Edward inconspicuously put his foot in front of Bella's. Of course, she tripped, and instead of falling forward to the safety of the carpet, she being a magnet for really stupid falls, fell to the side and broke a vase with her face.
The intoxicating scent of blood filled the air and a smile spread across Edward's face. Fucking finally! I get to eat her!
Edward launched himself at Bella's prone figure, drinking her dry in thirty seconds flat. The entire group of people was silent, staring at Edward in absolute horror. Faintly in the back, Edward heard a small "That was your wife."
Edward grinned, motioning to Jacob. A feral smile spread across Jacob's face and he jogged over to Edward. Their fingers intertwined tightly and Jacob kissed Edward lightly on his cheek, a mixture of fire and ice.
"Peace out," they said in unison, frolicking out of the church, hand in hand, doing a popular Irish jig. "Ding dong, the witch is dead…."