Rating: K+
Summary: There is everything to consider, for the after.
Disclaimer: The characters belong to Square Enix.
Hello!
Spoilers for the KH3 endgame, picks up just after the final battle! This is the RikuRoku getting together I should have written years ago, and KH3 only pushed me into actually doing it aha
Crossposted to AO3.
Chapter 1
King Mickey let Sora go, but Roxas can see that he didn't want to. Sora might be strong and resourceful, especially in dire situations, but alone, so many things can happen because of a mistake he couldn't fix by himself.
Roxas puts a hand on his chest, above where his heart is. A beating heart he never knew he had—how was he supposed to know how to recognize a heart, when everybody told him it was useless to look for one? He feels warm. He can feel Sora; there is an unbreakable connection between the two of them he's not sure he could ever sever. It's like a gentle breeze infusing him with a quiet confidence, comforting him even if he doesn't feel down—a boost that always pushes him forward.
"Everyone goes home, then?" Axel says, rubbing the back of his neck (which is something that he'll never get rid of, apparently).
The Keyblade Graveyard is silent, but his sentence makes everything even more so; everyone glances at each other, unsure of what to do or what to make of the situation. Roxas sees Xion clasp her hands in front of her, while Donald and Goofy heave a sigh.
"We don't have much of a choice," Donald grumbles.
"Aw, don't be like that," Goofy admonishes.
"We should rest," King Mickey agrees. "Do you all have somewhere to go back to?"
He casts a wary look at those who just got back—Terra, Xion, and Roxas himself, but his gaze also lingers on Aqua and… Ventus. Roxas presses his lips together.
"We'll go back to the Land of Departure," Aqua replies with a small smile. "I can't see us going anywhere else."
"Yeah, that's our home," Ventus enthusiastically adds.
Axel nods and even seems relieved at this piece of information, for whatever reason Roxas doesn't know. Maybe he was afraid that they wouldn't be able to go home, or that they couldn't stay together. Weird.
"What about you guys?" the King turns towards Axel.
Before either one of them could speak up, Roxas steps forward. "We don't have anywhere to go to right now."
It draws everyone's attention to him, and he would have squirmed under such intense gazes were he still a recruit who just joined the Organization, but now he can make decisions by himself.
"I'm not sure we are ready to settle somewhere in the state we are."
He gestures to his clothes, Axel's and Xion's injuries, and the general atmosphere that clings to them. Nobody is ready to move on with their lives after—after that.
Axel grins, but the edges of it are sad. "Yeah, Roxas is right. Who would have thought he'd be the responsible one, now?"
At least it makes Xion giggles. Roxas smiles, and lets Axel ruffle his hair even if this is a gesture he thinks he has outgrown (if he could say that).
"Don't you want to go to Twilight Town?" a sharp but curious voice cuts in, and Roxas has to take a breath.
Riku is looking at them with interest and mild surprise, like he expected them to run off the moment the battle ended. In all honesty, that's probably what would have happened, were the circumstances different. Maybe Roxas is being selfish by postponing something they have been chasing for a long time. Maybe he is simply scared of what it entails. Maybe he still needs time to think.
"It's not like I don't want to, but we can't." He shakes his head. "Not right away."
A shadow passes over Riku's face, painful and sad, but it's so quick Roxas can't ponder on it. Everyone is looking at them, and Roxas is suddenly aware of the strange picture they're showing—two people who shouldn't have met but did anyway, with a history that's only theirs to tell.
Axel drapes an arm over Roxas's shoulder, which makes the latter stagger, and waves a hand dismissively.
"There's no rush, I agree with Roxas here. And we can't just pop up in a world like that without preparation."
"We should discuss it," Xion says gently. "Together, right?"
Her smile is the most beautiful thing Roxas has ever seen, even if it reminds him of the times when it wasn't there (or was it because there were times she couldn't smile?). He returns the smile easily.
"Thank you, guys."
Riku shrugs, then. "I understand. I think I'll go to Master Yen Sid's tower for a while."
"You can come with us!" Ventus is quick to say, frantically gesturing.
This seems to catch the group's attention faster than Roxas's own statement, though instead of shocked the mood is nervous. King Mickey is casting his gaze downward while Donald and Goofy are averting their eyes, not exactly helping to dissipate the tense atmosphere. Riku looks as surprised as the others by Ventus's suggestion, so his words aren't as composed as he usually makes them be.
"Ah, thanks for the invitation, but I…need to stay away, for a bit. That won't be long, I don't want to bother you guys."
"You know you'll never bother us," Ventus assures. "We're friends, right?"
And if that isn't weird, seeing his own face with such a big grin directed at Riku, Roxas doesn't know what is. He still hasn't figured out the whole situation and he might need some time himself to start that conversation.
"Of course we're friends. Thanks, Ventus."
Ventus looks about to say something else when Aqua puts a hand on his shoulder, effectively stopping him. She then faces Riku and looks at him kindly, full of support.
"Take care, Riku."
Riku nods and smiles at her; Roxas suspects that as fellow keyblade masters they must have many things to discuss and responsibilities, so they are bound to see each other again.
"We'll go to the tower too, if that's no problem," Axel says. "Gotta practice with my keyblade some more, now that I have two teachers at my side."
And Roxas chuckles, lightly punching Axel's arm because it's kind of embarrassing, and Xion laughs and tackles Axel with a hug, and maybe that's how it's going to be, from now on.
Master Yen Sid gave them two rooms, one for Xion and one for the boys, because the tower "is not a place of residency equipped with the necessary room for so many people". Roxas suspects he just wasn't very happy to have his space invaded so soon after the final battle, but he should have seen this coming if he was following their progress so closely. Or maybe he thought they'd go to Radiant Garden, where most of the ex-Organization XIII members were living, along with the friends Sora made during his journey. It could have been an option, but for the same reason they didn't go to Twilight Town, Axel probably didn't want to go back there just yet, either.
So they end up rooming for an undetermined period of time. The room is only just for sleeping, really, as it's a four-bed room with as many desks and closets strategically juxtaposed to optimize the small space. Roxas can't say he's happy with this arrangement, but he'll live—besides, the rooms in the Castle That Never Was weren't that much better.
"I hope you don't snore," Axel teases.
"Please, Demyx was complaining to me that you talked in your sleep," Roxas snorts. "And no, I don't snore. Can't say the same for Riku, though."
"What do you mean by that?" Riku sounds slightly offended.
Roxas levels him with an amused gaze, and points to his head. "Memories."
He expected Riku to roll his eyes or to deny the statement, but he only laughs and shakes his head.
"Don't worry, I'm not that bad. At least I hope so."
"If you live to see tomorrow's light, then yeah you're not too bad," Axel snickers.
Riku's lips curl upwards, something that Roxas feels is familiar, and this is why he knows there is an underlying sadness in it. His own heart squeezes at the sight.
"Hey, I think the biggest problem is food. Did Master Yen Sid tell us we'd be fed?"
Silence falls into the room, as they all stare at each other.
"I hope those brooms aren't for show," Axel mutters.
Turns out that the brooms do prepare meals, but twice a week they have to make their own lunch and dinner, because Master Yen Sid doesn't want them to become too dependent on his magic—Axel loudly complains that they don't have much munny and can't afford to spend it on something they can get for free. Xion is excited to try her hand at cooking, Riku much less so, and Roxas thinks it's going to be a disaster. He doesn't trust any of them to do well in a kitchen, especially since he's positive at least three of them don't have any experience.
It starts slowly, really. They all shed the black coat for new clothes, learn how to appreciate their day now that they don't have missions to complete or heavy training to do, but they also have a lot of time on their hands leading to thinking. At first Riku acts as if they don't exist, except for a short greeting in the morning during breakfast (the brooms never spill anything), and spends his day somewhere in the tower or in other worlds, Roxas isn't sure. He isn't even sure why he's so invested in Riku's case. They never see him until dinner, and they didn't think of looking for him either; if they've learned anything from their mistakes, it's that leaving someone alone to ponder on things might not always be the best solution, but Roxas has no idea how to talk to Riku.
"Talk to him like you would talk to us?" Xion suggests, when they are sitting under the starry night. "I think acting normal is the best, you don't need to think too much about it."
"Well, the problem is that our circumstances aren't normal," Roxas mumbles.
"I asked you to do terrible things, Roxas. That's pretty high on the list of abnormal circumstances."
Roxas grunts but doesn't deny it. He was simply so relieved to see Xion and Axel in one piece with their memories he didn't really think about how they parted ways, and now that they've settled into a sort of routine, he remembers he's been pretty awful to Axel (not without reason!), and that they've never explained anything to each other or apologized. Xion looks fine with the situation, but maybe she's also avoiding the topic altogether. He didn't thank his best friends either for everything they've done for him.
"Having a heart is difficult," he groans.
Xion chuckles and pats him on the shoulder. "It'll be alright, we'll figure it out together. Talk to Riku, if you're that worried about him."
"I'm not worried ."
The look Xion casts him is unimpressed but there is mirth dancing behind it, like she knows something he doesn't. How did she become so perceptive of other people's emotions? How does she recognize emotions?
"Riku is our friend now, and worrying about friends is what we do."
He doesn't reply right away. "Yeah. Right. Okay." He looks up at the sky. "How can you be so calm about this? He wasn't exactly our ally."
"He was my ally, when I was looking for answers." Xion shakes her head. "It was mutually beneficial. We didn't start off on the right foot, but in the end we became friends."
Thinking of Riku as their friend is a bit weird, because he can count the number of conversations they've had on one hand and half of them involved fighting, so he's not sure it qualifies as friendly, but it's something he can fix. And he has the nagging suspicious Riku is avoiding him specifically because of that. He's probably avoiding Xion, too, despite her claims.
"Why don't you talk to him?" Roxas asks.
Xion looks at the stars, a hand on her chest where her heart is. "I think you need this more than I do. Trust me, it will do you good."
That doesn't make sense, but Roxas can believe what she says is true.
So after dinner, Roxas waits in the dining hall, chin propped in one hand and the fingers of the other drumming on the table. Axel is on some kind of job Master Yen Sid tasked him to, and Xion left early to give them space. Riku is still checking his gummiphone.
"Did you get some news?"
Riku seems to have forgotten he isn't alone in the room, as he doesn't quite startle but his eyes widen just so. Then he shrugs, putting his phone away.
"Not really. Just Aqua asking if everything was fine."
Roxas doesn't even need to find a pretense to tackle the subject. He stops his drumming.
" Is everything fine?"
Okay, maybe too straightforward. Unusual, actually. Riku raises an eyebrow at him, clearly not seeing what this question entails.
"Yeah. Why wouldn't it be fine?"
Roxas straightens. "I dunno, just making sure. We haven't decided what to do yet, so I was wondering about you."
This actually draws a chuckle from Riku. "You were wondering about me? That's new."
Xion was wrong, acting normal with Riku doesn't make it easier.
"Why do you always make things difficult?" he says, a thin layer of exasperation coating his voice.
The look of alarm on Riku's face immediately makes Roxas feel bad for what he said, but he's a bit tired to dance around the topic and not knowing how to be himself.
"Sorry, that wasn't my intention," Riku sighs. "And...sorry for everything else, too. We haven't really talked about it."
Roxas doesn't let his surprise show on his face, or pretend he doesn't know what they're talking about.
"Oh, uh, it's okay. That wasn't my brightest moment. Thanks I guess, I probably would have done something stupid."
He thinks about it, sometimes. He thinks about Xion's wish to free the hearts of Kingdom Hearts and what would have happened if he did succeed in accomplishing it. He thinks about defeating Riku and never returning to Sora. But that's a story from long ago, one he can't imagine the end of because he's satisfied with what he has now; maybe these mistakes were meant to be made to appreciate the present.
Riku hums, a strange smile on his lips as he looks at Roxas with almost kind eyes. The latter's heart lurches painfully in his chest, and he has to look away.
"I can still kick your ass, though," he says a bit too loudly to cover his heartbeat.
"I look forward to it." Riku's voice is clear and amused. He pauses for a few seconds, then says, "I'm glad you're not mad at me."
Roxas still doesn't look his way, but he nods. "Can't stay mad at people who did what they did for their friends."
"...Guess not."
Riku gets up and bids him good night, and it's only when his footsteps can't be heard anymore that Roxas realizes Riku dodged the original question.
Sharing a room has its perks, despite the general consensus that living with someone is a nightmare ("People leave their stuff everywhere!" Demyx complained. "Too much noise," Lexaeus grumbled. "You have to follow their rules," Luxord sighed). As long as they don't have to share a bed, Roxas is fine with it. When he stepped into the bedroom after taking a walk to clear his mind because the situation is way too ridiculous, Riku was in the shower and wasn't done yet, which gives him a few extra minutes to think through what he wants to say. He's not good with words, he much prefers doing something than explaining this or that. Xion is better at it, and even if Axel tends to magnify it, he has his ways.
The door of the bathroom clicks open, and Roxas immediately stands up. Riku seems ready to make a jump to the ceiling at seeing Roxas so intense, but he slowly relaxes, though his confusion remains.
"What's wrong?"
"You didn't answer me, earlier."
No matter Riku's hair is still a bit damp from the shower or that he's only wearing a plain shirt that really shows off his distracting arms, Roxas won't back down. He can't really explain why he feels so strongly about this (he can), but he knows he has to do it.
"I told you, I'm fine, everything's fine." Riku rolls his eyes.
"You said you needed…space."
Riku carefully chooses his words. "Yeah, like you guys did. Some time to sort things out, I guess."
Roxas licks his lips, curling his fists. Having a heart is hard.
"The islands...do you plan on going back?"
And finally, Riku's patience snaps. "Why are you asking me all these questions?"
"Kairi is gone and Sora went after her." Roxas breathes out, his gaze never leaving the floor. The sound of his heartbeat pounds in his ears. "There is nobody waiting there. You can't call it a home, right? That's why you wanted to...get away. To wait here at the tower until Sora comes back."
He risks a quick glance in Riku's direction, and he's afraid of seeing an empty spot or rage painted all over his face. He finds neither, as Riku is perfectly still, not letting anything seep through his mask. Roxas hates that (Axel kept feeding him that smug face of his).
"Home is...where your friends are. At least it is for me."
That is why he can stay away from Twilight Town for the time being; as long as he has Axel and Xion at his side, as long as they're safe with him, he'd go anywhere. They can start from scratch and build everything together.
His shoulders droop. "I don't really know what I want to say with that, actually."
"That's alright. Thanks, Roxas."
Riku's voice is soft, gentle, like he's afraid of scaring Roxas away even though it's not a habit of his to run away from conversations. He looks up as Riku steps forward, and puts a hand on his shoulder.
"I appreciate it. I really just need to take some time to myself. I have faith in Sora, they'll both be back." The curl of his lips is even more tender. "He has a knack for accomplishing the impossible."
A laugh bubbles in Roxas's throat. "That's true." He swallows, hyperaware of Riku's hand, then, "I can feel him, you know. He's still there."
He brings a hand to his chest, much like all the times he thought about his other and how strong he is. It's so easy to forget that the more connections one person has, the more powerful they become, because they have all their friends' support. He's only ever been close to two people, and their connection has wavered more than once. Every bond, even if it's not deep, adds its weight to the power they carry every day to fight against the threats that stand in their way, and is a constant reminder that they're not alone.
"We have to keep believing," Roxas says. "We can't break the connection, and risk their return. You're their strongest bond."
"I wouldn't dream of it. I might be their strongest bond, but you're all here wishing for their return. You're still connected to Sora, so that must mean something."
Riku withdraws his hand and smiles at him, really smiles; it's not the kind of smile showing teeth and exuding so much happiness, it's the kind that tells Roxas a weight has been lifted off his shoulders and that there is a layer of comfort around his heart. Riku doesn't often smile like that—memories don't recount everything, but they're enough to understand that not everyone has the privilege of seeing him so open and honest with his feelings, so Roxas tries his best to ignore the storm in his heart.
"Don't count on me to cheer you up whenever you're feeling down, I'm sending Xion to you next time," he mutters half-heartedly, looking at everything but his kind eyes.
Riku laughs. "You know, you're trying too hard to pretend you don't care about people. At first I really thought you just disliked me, but now that you said you're not mad…"
Roxas really wants to sink to the floor while yelling at Riku to shut up, but all his traitorous mouth can do is making embarrassed noises while his cheeks have decided to set him ablaze. And of course, Riku laughs harder at his disgruntled expression.
"I can still change my mind," Roxas grumbles. "And I said I can still kick your ass. We have a score to settle."
"Come fight me whenever you want." Riku keeps on smiling, and goes sit on his bed. "We'll see who's the stronger one."
"No need to speculate, you already know who's going to win!"
"Really? It's me, then. Wanna see how I'll decimate you?"
"You wish. Tomorrow at the training grounds?"
"That's fine by me, bring it on."
A smile tugs at Roxas's lips. It's easy to fall into a pattern. It's easy to see the good once you've cleared the bad. That's what he thinks, anyway, because he's tired of being angry at the world, and while some issues remain and pull him into various directions, he doesn't forget. The memories lie in his heart and he won't forget—not again.
Thanks for reading! I still don't know if this fic will be 2 or 3 chapters long, but hopefully the next one won't take too long.