I'm not sure how long this will be, perhaps 3 chapters or so? It's odd that I have read so many stories over the years and waited until after the series ended to start writing! Enjoy, guys. Let me know what you think!
_

Jane

"You are the most important person in her life, Jane, other than myself. I won't ask her if you don't tell me you approve, that you don't think it's what she wants." A blindside, it what it was. He blindsided me. I can see that my visible shock must have peaked Paul's interest as he tilts his head and raises an eyebrow. Paul is a 40 something, tall, italian, suave man Maura has been dating for a few months, well more like 6. He's handsome and kind and I don't hate him. He hasn't disturbed my time with Maura, hasn't treated me mean. He's not a bad guy. But, is he worthy of marrying Maura? Doubtful. No one is deserving, to be honest. Maybe some prince in a far away land. "Oh, I'm… Wow. I don't know, Paul. We've never, I guess, talked about it? So, I wouldn't be able to give you my uh, blessing, I guess? But, I can get back with you."

I'm scatterbrained and my body tingles to bolt as my eyes scan for the nearest exit. I absolutely do not want to be in this conversation right now. I certainly do not want to have it in the cafe of the BPD, either. I'm shocked and confused and I want to leave. I want to go see Maura and I don't want to think about why.

"Yeah, just get back to me please, Jane. Sooner rather than later. I hope you have a good day."

And with that, I run.

As soon as I exited the cafe, my legs took me right where I needed to go, the morgue. Pushing open the door to Maura's office, I spoke. "How do you feel about marriage?" Clearly startling Maura, who had her back turned putting books on her bookshelf, she turned around quickly. She reaches her hand to her heart and responds, "Please, Jane, you simply cannot come in here and start talking at that level. You scared me!"

Crossing my arms, I wait for her response. After a few seconds, I get it.

"Also, what kind of question is that? How do I feel in general? Please, be more specific."

Uncrossing my arms and walking into her office fully, I take a seat on her couch as she sits in her chair. "Yeah, like in general, would you ever want to? Get married?"

I could see she was trying to analyze my expressions, which kind of pissed me off. "Stop doing that! Just answer it, Maura! How do you feel about marriage? Stop looking at me like you need to know how to respond."

Taken back, she snaps at me. "Oh, I'm sorry, Jane! I should know exactly what to say and how to feel since my best friend bursts in my office everyday and screams about marriage! What a common thing between us!" I can tell she's hurt. I can tell that maybe I should've approached this differently. But, I didn't and I still want to know! Why can't she just respond? How hard is this? Taking a long, deep breath, I start doing as I should of to begin with.

"Look, I'm sorry. I just wanted to know, curious, how you felt about it. It's no big deal, I'm sorry for scaring you. Sooooo, Hi Maura. I have a question, how do you feel about marriage?"

"I...I...I don't know. I would love to get married one day, to the right person. It's has always been something so, so intangible that I haven't given it much thought. But why, Jane?"

Realizing I needed to come up with something quick and extremely believable, I word vomited. Words began spilling out of my mouth before my brain could even register what I was saying.

"Well, you see, I was thinking this morning that I may wanted to get married someday. And that it would be nice, to the right person, like the perfect friendship. But, just you know forever. And than I thought about you. That I, um, didn't know how you felt about being married to someone, about marriage. What about Paul? Have you thought about a marriage with him? I am just curious. So, I just came in here and asked."

I blindsided her more than Paul did me. Ever the stoic doctor, the Maura before me was anything but. I'd say her eyes grew 3 times the normal size, her jaw dropped nearly to her chest, and speaking of her chest, it was extremely red (matching her cheeks.) I know my word vomit was scattered and unclear but I didn't think it was that bad.

Knowing I have to backtrack, I speak up again. "I was just wondering. No big deal."

Yeah, that'll make her feel so much better. After spewing all of that nonsense at her, I ended it with that. Standing up from the couch, I swung the door open and exited the morgue.
_

To say that my head wouldn't stop processing Jane's outburst today was an understatement. I had arrived home from a very draining day at work about an hour ago. Sitting on my couch with a glass of red wine, my living room was engulfed in low melodies. I had came home and tried to make a relaxing atmosphere. I lite a couple of candles, put on some music, and started drinking one of my favorite wines.

Replaying Jane's outburst in my head, I focused on her specific words. She told me she thought about getting married, that she needed her marriage to be a perfect friendship.

She wanted to know specifically how I felt about marriage.

Was she looking for a man whom gave her more than just commitment and love? She wanted a companion whom gave her everything that I do and more. Did she want to replace me as her best friend?

Why did she bring up Paul?

Gulping down the rest of my glass, I close my eyes.

I'm not certain if my head is spinning due to the alcohol or the confusion due to Jane's questions. I have been going over her words and my feelings since I saw her this morning.

Hearing my phone ping, I reach over and grab it from the end table next to the couch. I put my glass on the table as I lean back to read the notification.

You never answered my question today, ya know, not that I gave you time….

What do I think about marriage? Marriage in general or with Paul? Again, why did she even bring him up?

Paul and I's relationship has been easy so far. It definitely has had some good moments, but nothing extraordinary. The kisses were great but not fantastic. I saw no fireworks, my heart doesn't race. It's comfortable. But, it's working for me right now. He provides my nights that are free from Jane with familiarity, ease. And since he is busy with business until late in the night most other days, Jane and I still see each other just as much. Which makes the relationship with him the best I've had since I met Jane.

Usually, my dates interrupt my time with Jane. Which results in me prioritizing my time with her over anyone else.

Yes, I realize after you stormed out that I hadn't answered. I suppose if nothing else, you forced me to analyze my thoughts about marriage. What knowledge do you truly covet? My thoughts on one day, potentially, getting married? Or a marriage to Paul?

Seconds later, I got her text.

In general, to Paul, to anyone. Just how you feel about it.

Why does this matter so much to her? Why does she keep asking?

I would love to get married someday, Jane. To someone who makes my heart beat faster when I see them or who sends tingles down my spine when we kiss. To Paul? I don't quite know. Maybe, in time, those feelings could develop. Why ask about him?

Taking a few moments to refill my glass of wine, I sit on my couch again and pull a blanket over my legs. Picking up my phone, I see two new notifications.

You haven't found that with Paul?

Do you want to those feelings to develop with him?

I don't understand why all the questions! I don't understand why Paul is working his way into this more and more. Hitting the green phone icon, I put the phone up to my ear.

"Hello? Maura?"

She sounds tired, drained.

"Why all the questions about Paul, Jane? If you have something specific to ask, why not just ask it?"

I hear a groan as she responds. "I don't. I just want to know how you feel about him. If it's real."

"I told you! You keep asking the same questions! I don't know, Jane! Maybe, in the future, it's a possibility!"

"But, do you WANT to develop those feelings? God damnit, Maura, would you want to marry him?"

My breath catches as my heart vibrates in my chest. Why is she being so rude about this! And how many times do I have to tell her that I do not know!

"I. Don't. Know. Jane. Why does it matter?"

She pauses at my outburst, intakes breath. "I guess it doesn't, Maura!"

What do you think? Should I continue? I felt like I went around in circles a bit but I really wanted to convey Jane's one track mind and Maura's confusion.