Naruto © Masashi Kishimoto

TW: Honestly everything you can think of. Is it bad? It's in here. Message me for a full list, although it will contain major spoilers.

Naruto's POV

Soccer practise just ended and now I'm at a party. I don't even know what the fuck is being celebrated. Maybe it's the start of the new term. Maybe it's the end of the soccer season. Maybe it's nothing at all. College kids don't exactly need a reason to throw a party.

I'm sipping on a beer. Kiba is at my side, already pleasantly smashed. He's good at this. He's good at totally erasing his mind for the night and waking up without a hangover. I don't know how he does it.

Hinata is in the corner talking with Ino and Sakura. She is smiling shyly, the way she always is. Unlike her, Sakura and Ino like to talk. They get chatty. They get nosy. They like to gossip. I guess I can't say it like it's a bad thing, though, because I can be just as nosy. I like to know things about everyone.

My cousin Karin is on the arm of a sofa taken up by Suigetsu, Jugo and Sasuke Uchiha. They're her friends, not mine.

I glance at Kiba. His eyes are glazed over and there's an oblivious look on his face. His shaggy brown hair is still a damp mess from the rushed shower he took after practise and his face is stubbly.

"Man, might wanna slow down," I tell him.

As soon as the words come out, I want to roll my eyes at myself because I sound like such a fucking hypocrite.

He doesn't respond. He just gives me a wry smile and tilts an eyebrow, almost like he knows what I'm thinking.

Kiba was one of my first friends on campus. We actually knew each other in high school too since we're from the same neighborhood but we never really hung out much. I ran into him during training week before the rest of the students got to campus since we're both on the soccer team. I didn't even know we were going to the same college—I guess that goes to show how much we communicated before now. He's pretty easy to get along with compared to some of the other jocks who are major douchebags, but I don't get to see him a ton because he still lives at home instead of on campus.

Frankly, I haven't had a lot of time to meet other people from our school. Practice took up a lot of my free time and we weren't allowed to go to parties in light of dry season. Now that it's over, I plan to make more of an effort to get out and let myself make more friends.

My roommate is a kid named Sai—he's pretty artsy so he hangs out with Karin and some of the other people from that department. I could ask him to introduce me to his crew, but I think it might be weird. A lot of the friend groups have already formed.

Me and Sakura used to date. We were an item for two years before she came to the realization that she didn't even like men. I had no idea what to do with that information, but we remained close, so I guess all is well.

It makes me wonder where her mind was each time we fucked.

"Enjoy the party, Naruto," Kiba says to me. "Stop looking so sour."

"I'm not," I argue.

"What were you thinking about, then?" he pries.

I don't respond. I just give him a particularly dull look.

"Sakura?" he guesses.

He knows me too fucking well.

"Too bad she's a lesbian," he adds.

I roll my eyes at him. Tactful as ever, this guy.

"Yeah, too bad," I mumble back bitterly.

"Don't worry about it too much." Kiba lets out a laugh, patting me forcefully on the shoulder. "I'm going to get another drink, want anything?"

I shake my head, but tell him that I need to get something from my room.

I'm lucky because this party is being hosted in one of the apart-like quads in my dorm building. My own room is only three floors up so it's not hard to dip back when I need to.

I take the stairs two at a time and reach my door in no time. I leave it unlocked because I don't have anything worth stealing—nothing out in the open anyway.

Sai is out and I'm relieved. He spends a lot of time in the room and it gets to be suffocating sometimes when I come back and want to be left alone.

I close the door behind me and saunter over to my dresser, rifling around in my sock drawer.

I find what I'm looking for and pull out a small plastic baggie with a small amount of white powder in it. Guess I'm running low.

I pull my dorm key out of my pocket and stick in the tip, bringing a small amount of the powder to my nose and inhaling sharply.

I wrinkle my nose, rubbing it with the back of my hand and sniffling a bit.

That's more like it.

I head back downstairs after a few more minutes and by now Kiba is chatting with some of our other buddies. They're people I'm friends with as well, but that isn't interesting me right now. I'm friends with most people. I like to be liked. It makes me feel desired. Wanted. All that shit.

Instead of trying to find more familiar faces, I look to the first unfamiliar face I see. It's a thin guy with pale skin, red hair and huge bags under his eyes. There's something interesting about him, though. So, I head straight for him.

He eyes me as I make my way over and puts a hand on his hip, almost like he's expecting something. Maybe I'm being a little too obvious here.

"Hey, there," I greet, giving him a grin.

"Hi," he responds. His voice is deep and cold.

"What's your name?"

"Gaara Sabaku."

"I'm Naruto – Naruto Uzumaki," I introduce myself. "Why are you standing around here all alone?"

"I lost my friends," he answers.

"That's too bad," I reply. "You'll just have to hang out with me then."

Gaara blinks, but doesn't reply. I guess he didn't think it was funny.

"Uh, who are your friends? Maybe I saw them?" I murmur, trying to be helpful.

"I thought we were hanging out," he deadpans.

Jeez, this guy…

"Yeah!" I say in an attempt to recover. "I have nothing else to do, so, yeah!"

We wander into the tiny shared kitchen that is already crowded with people and Gaara picks up a beer off the counter. It's already open and I doubt it's his, but he drinks from it slowly as he leans against the wall and stares me straight in the eye.

It's uncomfortable and for a second I'm not sure what to do. I feel jumpy and I want to move around but there are too many people in this place.

"So, what are you studying?" I ask in a vain attempt to make conversation.

"Don't know, we're only freshmen," Gaara replies.

I laugh awkwardly, "Yeah, me neither…"

The silence is killing me. I fucking hate silence. It makes me uncomfortable. I know that that sounds stupid. Silence shouldn't be so intimidating, but it is for me. I find noises, sounds and constant conversations comforting. I'm pretty extroverted, but right now I don't know what to say and I have no idea why.

Gaara stares at me like he's staring through me. He looks completely apathetic. When he's finished the drink, he sets it back down and then continues to eye me.

"So, what now?" he asks me expectantly. "Want to go to bed?"

"Well, that's forward," I comment.

"I'm bored," he says with a sigh. "I want to do something."

I begin to wonder exactly what the fuck I've gotten myself into… but since I'm in one of those moods, I say sure, and we head to my room. Sai is still missing in action, so I guess that's a good thing. The last thing I need is for a guy like him to find me experimenting. He'd never let me live it down.

I lock my door for the first time in my life and sit on my bed. Gaara starts unbuttoning my pants looking like he couldn't give less of a fuck about what we're doing.

I should probably feel shyer than I do, but I bet it's because I'm messed up right now. Maybe it's because Gaara is acting to confident and I want to keep up with him.

He pulls out my dick and puts his mouth around it right away.

To be honest, it doesn't feel great. I'm not sure if it's because there was no build up or because I'm just not into dudes.

I guess realistically it could also be because it's hard as fuck to cum when I'm on cocaine.

It takes a while. He's probably as fucked up as I am, so maybe he doesn't mind that this is lasting forever. I close my eyes and try to think about something that might turn me on more than my current situation, but nothing really comes to mind. I don't know why.

When I finally cum, it's not even a good orgasm. It just makes me feel cheap and deflated. It's also kind of sobering in a way.

I tuck myself back into my pants and before I can get an awkward word out, my door swings open and Sai is standing there. He looks annoyed.

"What is it?" I ask him, trying not to sound too snappy. A split second earlier and he would have caught me with my dick out.

"Your friend is barfing everywhere," he says flatly.

"Which friend?" I ask. Why am I the one to have to deal with it?

"The one on your soccer team I see you with sometimes. I forget his name," Sai mumbles, entering the room and grabbing a folded sweater off his bed. "Hey Gaara."

Gaara nods but doesn't respond. I guess they know each other.

"Kiba?" I wonder out loud and Sai slips his sweater over his head.

"Mmm, yeah, that's him."

"Well where is he?" I scowl. Sai could have at least brought Kiba up with him.

"Hogging the bathroom in the quad," Sai tells me nonchalantly. "People are probably getting pretty annoyed with him by now."

I roll my eyes. "I'll be right back, it was nice to meet you Gaara."

Again Gaara doesn't respond. Ugh, what a weird guy.

I run back downstairs and sure enough, a number of pissed off looking people are lined up outside the door to the bathroom.

"Excuse me, sorry," I say as I squeeze past them all. "You know there's a communal one down the hall right?"

A few of the bystanders groan but thankfully they mostly turn to leave. I give the bathroom door a tap.

"Hey, how's it going in there?" I ask quietly.

"S'bad," Kiba mumbles back.

I crack the door and see him resting the side of his head on the toilet seat. His eyes are closed and he doesn't acknowledge me as I slip into the tiny room.

"Wow, I've never seen you blow chucks before!" I joke, crouching down beside him. "Do you have the spins?"

"Yes," he says tersely. Then he sniffles a bit and I don't know if it's because he's drunk or upset. Either way, it's not a happy thing to see. I'm a sucker for crybabies, but Kiba isn't a crybaby. I sit down with him and see that his eyes are wet. It makes me feel bad for him.

"You'll be all right," I say.

He always is, but I guess this time is different because he's at a whole new level of trashed.

He doesn't say anything. He just blinks slowly, not staring at anything in particular. I inch a bit closer and rub his back.

"Why'd you get so drunk?" I ask him. "Did you just forget how much you've had?"

"I'unno," he slurs. A few tears slide out and I feel my guts twisting around. He looks so out of it. "Ugh, I wish I was dead."

"No, you don't," I say. "You're just drunk."

I stand up and then help him stand. He wipes his chin with a piece of toilet paper and flushes the toilet, swaying as he inches towards the sink. He turns the taps on and bends over, rinsing his mouth out. When he's good to go, I walk him back into my room. He can stay with me tonight and hopefully he won't be hung over in the morning. I'll get him some water to sip on or something.

Thankfully, Gaara has left. That would have been an awkward one to explain. Sai is gone too—probably out to another party.

I rummage through my dresser until I find two pairs of sweatpants. Kiba and I have a pretty similar build, so I know they'll fit him.

"You can borrow these," I say as I toss the clothing onto my bed where he's sitting.

He stares at me dully for a second before standing up and stripping down to his boxers, which surprises me a little because Kiba is usually pretty reserved in the locker rooms.

"Thanks," he tells me a moment after slipping into the sweats.

I wish I could say that there was a way for us both to squeeze onto my bed, but there's just no way in hell two biggish dudes are going to fit onto the tiny twin-sized mattress. It's fine though, I can sleep on the floor for just one night—no big deal.

"You can have the bed," I tell him.

He doesn't protest. He doesn't say anything at all. He just unceremoniously flops onto it.

I grab a sleeping bag from my closet and set myself up on the floor for the night. I fill Kiba a glass of water, setting it down. Hopefully this will help, even if it's just in the slightest. After that, I change into my pajamas and lie down.

I hope Kiba isn't hung over as fuck in the morning.

.

.

I wake up to voices. Kiba is on the phone. He still sounds drunk and when I check the time on my phone I see that it is six in the fucking morning.

"What the hell?" I groan at him before glancing around.

Sai is asleep in his bed. He's still dead to the world.

Sorry," he whispers to me, throwing me a side glance before continuing his conversation. "Yeah, I'm sorry, I jus'stayed with a friend on campus. I'm so ,so sorry I forgot to tell you—it jus'slipped my mind."

It must be Kiba's parents wondering why he never came home last night. They've always been a little weird and overprotective. I think that's why he doesn't live on campus. I asked him once if it was to save money and he said no, so I asked if he just liked his parents a lot and he said no to that too. Since then I've just been assuming that it wasn't really his choice.

"Yeah…yeah." Kiba says quietly into the receiver, but I can hear angry shouting on the other line, "I'll come home righ'now."

He hangs up the phone and slowly gets out of bed.

"I'm sorry, Naruto," he mumbles. "That was so fuckin' shitty of me."

"You're not going to try and drive home, are you?" I hiss, completely bypassing his apology. "You're probably still fucking drunk."

"My parents are fuckin' pissed off," he tells me. "I need to go right now."

"No," I insist. "Seriously, you cannot drive home like this."

"Well, what the fuck am I supposed to do?"

"Man, you're an adult," I remind him. "Your parents are being unreasonable. Stick around here until you feel good enough to head out."

"I need to go now," he says, sounding like it's of utmost importance. I don't fucking get it.

"Then I'll drive you," I offer.

"I just –" he starts, but I cut him off.

"You're not putting me out," I insist. I force myself out of my sleeping bag and grab my keys from my nightstand. "Come on," I say with a nod. "It's important, right? Let's go. If you drive, you'll probably pass out at the wheel and die or something."

He snorts. "Probably…"

Somewhat begrudgingly, he follows after me. Neither of us bothers to get dressed. Fuck it. We leave the building and head straight for my car. I can tell Kiba doesn't feel too great because he's being quiet. Usually he is chattier – kind of like me.

Even though I've technically known Kiba for years, I've never been to his house and he has to give me directions. He ends up living surprisingly close to my old house, and it's a wonder that we weren't better friends as kids.

To be honest, I didn't have a lot of supervision when I was younger and that probably put Kiba's family off. They were always up his ass about one thing or another while I just ran around being mischievous.

I moved to the neighborhood when I was about five years old. I used to live in a different city entirely but something fucked up happened. Someone tried to rob our house and ended up shooting both my mom and dad. All I really remember was hiding in my room underneath my bed until a police officer came and found me and told me it was safe. After that, I moved in with Karin's family. They were nice but always busy, so Karin and I mostly hung out together and did our own thing.

It wasn't bad. I'm just glad I wasn't left alone or put in some shitty foster home. I've heard way too many horror stories. I didn't want that to be my story.

Soon enough, I'm pulling into a driveway. It's a modest looking house with a fence in the front and a dog running around. Kiba lets out a sigh.

"Want me to come in with you?" I ask.

"No," he says quickly. "S'fine."

"If you say so," I relent. I guess I have no right to force myself into this situation, weird as it may seem to me. I just hope his parents don't freak out too hard. He's nearly nineteen, for fuck's sake. I don't get what the big deal is.

He gets out of the car and lazily jogs up the driveway, heading inside. I'll give him a text later on to make sure everything is okay.

I enter through the main door of my dorm building and glance into the common area as I pass by. I see Gaara sitting on one of the couches reading a chemistry textbook and doing what looks like a worksheet.

"Hey, getting a late start I see, sleepyhead," I joke and I walk into the room to greet him.

Gaara looks up and at and blinks. I wonder if he caught the sarcasm.

"I can't sleep," he mumbles.

"That sucks, sorry dude." I give him my condolences.

"Why are you awake?" Gaara asks me, turns back to his textbook and flipping the page.

"Had to take my friend home."

"This early?" he questions.

"I know right?" I laugh. "He lives off campus and his parents called wondering where he was. Guess they're pissed he forgot to mention to them that he was staying out."

Gaara nods but doesn't respond.

I sit with him, sighing. I feel like I shouldn't try to ignore the fact that he had my dick in his mouth mere hours ago. "Look, about last night –"

"Don't worry about it," he immediately cuts me off. "We don't have to talk about it. I can sense you probably don't want to."

"Er, well," I pause, my voice getting quieter. "I never did anything with a guy before."

"Could've fooled me," he retorts and I'm not really sure what he means by that. Then he adds, "You seemed eager – like you approached me knowing exactly what you wanted."

"I guess so," I say, unable to deny it. I lean back on the sofa, staring up at the ceiling. "I don't know."

"I don't know what to tell you if you're suddenly feeling upset by it," he tells me carelessly. "That's not my problem." He's still leafing through his text book, seeming to pay me little mind.

"It's not that," I try to argue, but maybe it IS that. "You seemed eager too," I retort finally. "Like, you were the one who suggested it."

"Okay," he says completely plain-faced, "But I'm not the one who's all concerned about it now."

I don't know why I'm feeling weird about it. I've never thought I was into guys before but maybe the opportunity just never presented itself. I dated Sakura for a while and before that didn't really have my eyes on anybody else—then when we broke up I was too busy getting over her to be thinking about new people.

I fidget for a moment in the silence before Gaara pretty blatantly changes the subject.

"How was dealing with your drunk friend? Did he throw up in your room?" he asks.

"No," I tell him. "He was fine after I got him from downstairs."

Gaara nods and since the conversation is stiff and awkward, I decide to leave.

"I'll see you around," I tell him, standing up and giving and little wave.

"I live on the second floor in room 210 if you ever want to 'hang out,'" he says without even looking up at me, but I get what he means.

I nod, even though he can't see it. Then I wander back into my room. I don't know. If he's up for it, then maybe it wouldn't be a bad thing to explore that side of myself a bit more. Next time, though, I'll do it sober.

When I'm back in my room, I shoot Kiba a text message asking him if everything is okay and if his parents are still mad. He doesn't get back to me, but he probably will later, so I let it sit for now.

I open my laptop and sit on my bed, trying to get a little bit of homework done. I hate school, to be honest. I probably wouldn't be here if I didn't get some scholarship for disadvantaged students. It's hard for me to pay attention and sit still. I don't even know what the hell I'll end up doing with my life. Nothing really interests me. I guess that sounds bad, but it's true. Nothing interests me and I don't want to be here.

Not knowing what I want to do is a huge part of why I'm here in the first place. I didn't know what I wanted to pursue so I just ended up moving from high school to college as a way of giving myself more time to decide. I took some interesting classes first term but nothing that I think I could do for the rest of my life. I'm not comfortable committing like that.

Sai is a studio art major and even though he admits it's maybe not the most financially sound decision, it's his passion and he loves the art department. Besides, he's really talented so he'll probably end up making a shit ton of money in the end.

I'll admit it's a little intimidating to have people around who have their whole lives figured out, but luckily about half the people here seem just as confused as I am.

I guess it's normal. I just hope I figure it out soon and don't drudge through my entire college experience not knowing what the hell I'm doing.

Around late noon, I finally hear my phone beep. I grab it and open up a text from Kiba saying that everything is fine. It's vague, but I guess I don't know if I have a right to pry for more information. He's weird when it comes to his family. He doesn't like to talk about them much, but I know enough to know they stress him out a lot. It pisses me off.

I text him back asking him if he's sure nonetheless. He says he is. Then he tells me he'll see me tomorrow in class. I guess that's that. He doesn't want to talk about it. He never fuckin' does.

It bugs the fuck out of me that they never seem to leave him alone. We're not little kids anymore and they should let him do what he wants. I understand that they're paying for his college and all but that doesn't mean they should have control over every aspect of his life. Maybe it would be fair to set a rule like no drugs in the house or no girls staying the night but such an intense curfew feels overbearing. It's not like he needs guidance on how to go to bed on time and get his homework done.

Whatever though. He seems to function fine within it and I guess that's that. If it bugged him enough he'd probably tell them to step off and let him live his life but it must not feel worth the fight.

.

.

On Monday, Kiba seems perfectly fine. I get a little nosy and ask what his parents said when he got back, but he just shrugs and says, "Typical stuff. They just worried because I didn't tell them where I was going to be."

"Oh, shitty," I tell him, but I guess that is fair enough.

We have Introduction to Business together, which is a full year course. It's fucking boring. I regret taking it. At least the professor is cool, though. His name is Kakashi Hatake and he seems like he doesn't give a fuck about anything.

We sit in the back. Kiba ends up dosing off. The professor probably notices, but he doesn't say anything. Kiba is only wasting his own time.

I try to take some notes. I try to pay attention. I try to sit still, but my mind keeps racing the way it always does.

Up at the front of the classroom there's Sasuke Uchiha. I know his name because he's friends with Karin. I've even hung out with him in a group setting before but we didn't really talk—we don't have much in common since he's all artsy and broody and that's literally the opposite of myself.

Sasuke takes his grades seriously which is why he's always up at the front of the classroom, but he also has a bit of a reputation at the campus parties. He's pretty good looking—it would be dumb for me to deny it—and all the ladies love him, so it's not unusual to see him trashed as fuck at a Friday night frat party with a new girl hanging off his lips.

Sasuke's never out on Saturdays though, probably because he uses Sundays to do his homework. I don't know how the fuck he juggles it all.

I watch him for a few minutes, looking all studious. He's taking notes, scribbling quickly. His writing is probably impeccably neat. Everything about him is both impeccable and neat. His hair is always perfect, his skin is always perfect, his clothes are always perfect. He hands everything in on time. He probably gets perfect marks. He seems like the type.

His parents are lawyers along with his brother and a large majority of his relatives. They own a law firm. Sasuke is probably studying to become a lawyer as well, whether or not he wants to.

Families are weird. My own family is so chilled out that I can't even relate to people like Sasuke and Kiba. My aunt and uncle let me and Karin have a lot of freedom. Because of that, we never really felt the need to rebel.

Finally, the class comes to an end. It's a relief because I'm bored out of my fucking mind. The exams in this class are going to be a fucking doozy because I can't seem to pay attention. Maybe Kiba and I will be able to compare notes and fill in the blanks where one of us was asleep.

Speaking of Kiba, he's still passed out at his desk. I put a hand on his shoulder and give him a light shake. It'll be embarrassing if people see him as they start to leave the room.